Chocolate Cream Dessert

Ryan and I finished working on/updating our porch just last week. It is a 3-season porch built decades ago. We put indoor/outdoor carpet in, painted, added a ceiling fan and cleaned our windows (and by we I mean with the help of our parents!). We are loving sitting out there!

We can drink our lemonade, sip our ice tea, enjoy our grilled meats, eat our cool treats, play with Samuel and soak in summertime...without the bugs!

Here's another tasty - and very sweet - summer treat to keep you cool on warm days. Makes a lot but keeps well in the fridge.

Chocolate Cream Dessert

¾ cup cold butter (or margarine)

1 pkg (18 ¼ oz) chocolate cake mix

1 egg, lightly beaten

1 pkg (8oz) cream cheese, softened

1 cup confectioners’ sugar

4 cups whipped topping, divided

3 cups cold milk

2 pkg (3.9 oz each) instant chocolate pudding mix

2 T chocolate curls, optional

In a bowl, cut butter into cake mix until crumbly. And the egg and mix well. Press into a greased 13x9x2 in baking dish. Bake at 350 for 15 minutes or until set. Cool completely on a wire rack.

In a small mixing bowl, beat cream cheese and confectioners’ sugar until smooth. Fold in 1 cup of whipped topping. Carefully spread over the crust; refrigerate.

In a bowl, whisk the milk and pudding 2 minutes; let stand until slightly thickened. Spread over the cream cheese layer. Top with the remaining whipped topping. Refrigerate for 2 hours before cutting. Garnish with chocolate curls. Refrigerate leftovers. Yield: 12 serving.

Summer Parties

"When I was about thirty, I decided it was time to give a proper sit-down dinner. My husband, Andy, was all for it, but he also knew that considering this would be my first dinner party, a little warning was in order. So he made copies of instructions for the Heimlich maneuver, which he used as the invitation. The point wasn't lost on our frineds when Andy wrote, 'You're invited to Kate's first dinner party.'

Who's Kate?

Kate Spade, of course!! Who knew that Kate Spade had to LEARN how to entertain! This is an excerpt from Kate Spade's book, Occasions!

If you're at the library this summer with your little kiddos, you might want to check out this CUTE book. It was the cuteness that caught my eye. You don't need to read it from cover to cover, but there are fun tidbits to try on your friends and family.

Here's a sample:
"Hors d'oeuvres should be bite size. I think it's hard to bite into something with a napkin and a drink already in your hand. That's why I like mini foods, which you can just pop in."

"Be showered and dressed an hour before you expect the first guests to arrive. Even the most conscientious hostess will forget this on her pre-party checklist."

It is fun to read about her husband's involvement in their entertaining. It sounds like they make a great team in this area.

"When Andy was in Little League, his mother threw him what became his first un-occasion party, to celebrate his first hit at bat. She invited the team over, rushed home from the game, and served sandwiches, cream soda and twinkies."

What would you think is the one ingredient that 'ultimately defines a good hostess'? Think about it and I will tell you what she thinks it is on Friday:)

Yogurt cake

It's been very very hot in Minnesota lately. We had heat index warnings today...humidity is up...and summer is definitely here!

So I'm going to share some cool treats for warm weather.

This is my new favorite from my friend Kari! Works as both a cake or cupcakes. And would be perfect for the 4th of July next week. Can be made with strawberry, blueberry or lemon yogurt.

Yogurt Cake

1 - white cake mix with "pudding in the mix"

3/4 - C water

1/3 - C oil

3 egg whites

8 oz. strawberry yogurt (or whatever flavor you want)

Frosting:

8 oz. strawberry yogurt

8 oz. Cool Whip

Mix ingredients together on medium speed for 2 - 1/2 minutes. Bake 350 degrees for 30-35 minutes in 9 x 13 pan. Cool. Top with frosting and cut strawberries. Refrigerate.

Do you have a favorite cool treat to share?

Home Improvement...Influencing your Man

Gary Thomas, in Sacred Influence, says the number one rule for influencing your man is this: "Stop taking your husband for granted"

In her book, Capture His Heart, Lysa TerKeurst tells of boarding a shuttle bus at the airport, where she met a sixty-year-old man who said something very simple but astonishing. Lysa commented that people must love to see the shuttle bus pull up, because it means they're going home.
The driver laughed. "Yeah, everyone is excited to see me pull up to the curb. That's why I like my job so much. People get on the bus and smile so bif. They've just been waiting for me, and when I finally arrive, they are happy I'm here. I've often wished I had a video camera to tape people as they get on my bus with the smiling faces and glad-to-see-ya comments. I'd love for my wife to see a tape like that. That's the way I've always wanted her to look when I come home from work." (italics is mine)

Leslie Vernick, author of How to Act Right When Your Spouse Acts Wrong, once asked a husband in a counseling situation what he would most like from his wife. He responded, "There was a guy at work who was clumsy and never did the job quite right. None of us guys thought much of him, but when his wife came in one day, she looked at him like he could do no wrong. All of us guys were jealous of him from then on, because we knew he wasn't perfect, but his wife treated him like he was. I would love for my wife to look at me like that." (italics is mine)

A wife has a unique opportunity to influence her husband over the years. Begin this Father's Day weekend to stop taking your spouse for granted. It will spill over to how your kids react to dad...and to mom!

Do You Influence Your Man?

We have 2 sons. Our oldest is Ryan, he's married to Stacy.

I lived with him for about 20 years, he lived with roommates for 5 years and now he has lived with Stacy for 8 years.

Lots has been said about the impact a mom has on her sons and I believe that is true. Values, disciplines, attitudes and many basic habits can be established by a mom...but to make a guy into a real man, well, it takes a good wife.

Ryan could live with Stacy for another 50 or so years. That will really shape him into the man he will ultimately be. He is such a fine man now, I would like to take credit for his sterling personality, but it is Stacy who will really set the bar for who Ryan becomes.

The book, Sacred Influence by Gary Thomas, has been recommended on this blog before and it is worth mentioning it again this week before Father's Day.

If you have a 'dad' living in your home, you have an incredible opportunity to influence that fellow into becoming an awesome figure in your children's lives. It's the big picture you want to keep in focus on a daily basis because that will make it possible for you to encourage your man to 'stay the course'.

Please note, I am talking about 'influencing your man', not changing him! That is where the satisfaction as a wife comes in. I know that in the last 35 years that I have lived with the father of my kids, I HAVE CHANGED...and that has made it possible for me to influence my husband.

When I realized that changing myself into a better wife was going to be a life-long job, I stopped trying to change my husband, I couldn't do both! It was only after I began to change that I really began to influence my husband for the better.

Father's Day is Sunday. Is there something that needs to be changed within you to make this Father's Day a day of gratitude and thanksgiving?

Father's Day Week!

"Father!--to God himself we cannot give a holier name."
William Wordsworth

"Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope."
Bill Cosby

Two quotes from Tony Dungy's new book, Uncommon. If you are looking for a great gift for your dad or the dad of your kids, consider picking up a copy of this book. The subtitle is 'Finding Your Path to Significance'.

It's a good read for a man.

All about patterns

This week I am analyzing and considering the impact of the words of Romans 12:2 - "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will."

What behavior and customs are actually patterns of this world that I am following?

Some patterns might be...

How number and type of dinners I cook in a week. My friend cooks 5. My other friend cooks gourmet. Another friend cooks very healthy and natural with all the best ingredients. Which one will I pattern my menu planning around?

How I speak to my husband. I could follow a of pattern of nagging, disrespect and intimidation. Or, I could choose a pattern of encouragement, respect and kindness. Are my spoken words really a pattern? So many commercials these days feature a wife rolling her eyes at her husband, making him feel like less of a man....without even being aware I am seeing patterns of disrespect on television.

Another pattern that I could easily follow is a pattern of guilt. I think a lot of what I am motivated by is guilt. I think many people in this world are motivated by guilt. And I think our society and culture plays off this guilt in telling us how to live, what to buy and what to think about ourselves and others.

A common pattern that I see in my age group is the 'next step' pattern. The next step is to buy a bigger house, a nicer, newer car, a bigger television or other electronic gadgets. The pattern we observe and are told to follow is that you always go bigger...nicer...more expensive.

As I look to the future I think about what parenting patterns will I follow? Those of friends? Those of family members? Those I observe on television or am told to follow on talk shows? I read this quote today: "The problem starts when parents raise children based on their personal experience growing up instead of using the Bible as the timeless, authoritative guide" in relation to a book called The Parent Adventure.

Are my patterns based off my personal life experiences? I am not even sure that lifestyle patterns are consciously chosen. Maybe they are just observed, never questioned or challenged, and then lived out by the next generation?

Following a pattern is external. But if I am instructed not to live according to the pattern of this world then I need to look internally. Maybe the way to live out Romans 12:2 means that I should to take every 'pattern' and check it against God's Word. Is it Biblical? Is it healthy? Is it right for me and my family in this season of our lives?

I think this will take some time to process and truly contemplate. Just one pattern at a time....

Patterns of this world

Last week I was reading in Romans and came across a verse that impacted me greatly years ago. It's Romans 12:2 - "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will."

I love this verse because it commands me 'not to conform to the world' and tells me what to do instead: be transformed by the renewing of my mind. I referred to this verse often over the years as a way to take my worldly thoughts captive and to refocus on the Lord.

Last week as I read it, it spoke to me in a different way.

As I read, "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world..." I stopped and asked myself what patterns I was conforming to.

What pattern as a mom was I conforming to?

What pattern as a wife was I conforming to?

What pattern as a homemaker was I conforming to?

What pattern as a business woman, child of God, friend, etc?

This world offers many ideas, suggestions and attitudes about 'the patterns' we should follow for our various roles. We see the patterns on television. We read about them in the paper and in magazines. We observe the patterns our friends follow or live out.

Sometimes we don't even recognize that a lifestyle or belief system is a pattern....it just is.

Not all patterns are bad or negative. But someone else's pattern might not be right for me either. And if the pattern I am pursuing in my role as a wife or mom is of this world, the command is to stop conforming.

These are just some things I'm contemplating and working through. What does this look like? How does one live this out?

I'll keep thinking and let you know what I'm discovering about the pattern of this world.

Home Improvement...Contentment!

Did you dare answer the question of the week, "Are you content?" If you did, did you find abit of discontentment lurking?

This week was really busy for me. I guess I could say that about most of my weeks, but as I was trying to keep my head above water and handle the demands of each day, my mind constantly was reaching for a level of contentment. All my tasks were good things, just too many of them. So often my daily discontent comes from over-commitment. I try to do too many things and please too many people.

Discontentment can have many roots, but for the average woman, I think a busy schedule often triggers discontent.

This weekend, for Home Improvement, can I challenge you to just take a look at your schedule? That's all. No need to search deeply for ultimate contentment. Just see if you have enough 'margin' in your life to enjoy what you are doing.

Do you have time to sit and talk with your husband?

Do you know what you are making with the groceries you purchased, or are you just throwing a dinner together because you just don't have time to look for a good recipe.

Do you check 'caller ID' everytime the phone rings and often you disregard a call from a friend because you are just too busy?

Do you have nothing to wear because it is all in the wash or it needs to be ironed?

Are you spending money on late charges because you can't find the bills you need to pay on your messy desk?

The answers to these questions may be the first place to start when you are seeking contentment.

This weekend, try to build some 'margin' into all that you choose to do. Take time to take a deep breath and enjoy what you are doing.

This is a discipline I have had to come back to often in my life.

"Contentment has everything to do with how you are doing with you." (quote from Finding Contentment by Neil Clark Warren)

If I am not doing well with me, I need some time to get myself back in balance and that takes margin...time to appreciate all that I have. It comes back to having the time to count my blessings.

Contentment...

Are you learning to be content?

Philip Yancey writes of a spiritual seeker who interrupted his busy, acquisitive life to spend a few days in a monastery. "I hope your stay is a blessed one," said the monk who showed him to his simple cell. "If you need anything, let us know, and we'll teach you how to live without it."

If contentment is learned, how are you doing? In this economy, it's a good question to ponder. Have we come to believe we NEED so many things?

Look at how Americans perceive their needs in 1970 compared with the year 2000:

1970:
Second car 20%
Second TV 3%
More than one phone 2%
Car air-conditioning 11%
Dishwasher 8%


2000:
Second car 59%
Second TV 45%
More than one phone 78%
Car air-conditioning 65%
Dishwasher 44%


(Taken from When the Game is Over it All Goes Back in the Box by John Ortberg)

Our 'needs' have changed even more since 2000 when you think of all our cell phones! Back in 1970, only 2% of Americans thought 2 phones were necessary, now we all have our OWN!

Gratitude seems to be the key for me to keep my perspective honest. I can so easily be deceived into thinking I 'need' just alittle bit more and then I will have complete contentment. Of course, if I get that 'little bit more', I am still wanting for 'more'.

I don't want this economy to dampen the blessings I have this summer. I have found if I fill my mind with the blessings I have, I don't have the desire to wander the shopping malls wondering what I am 'needing'.

The summer of 2009 can be the summer of ENOUGH...if I am grateful and concentrate on 'learning to be content'.

It's June!

"Gratitude is the ability to experience life as a gift." (John Ortberg)

What a great reminder that is as we head into June. Summers can get so busy and so out of control for a woman. The kids are around and heading out the door, husbands want impromtu excursions, cooking changes and the house always needs a good cleaning. Gratitude often goes out the window for me when I am just trying to hold on to some order in my life. That is why I have incorporated the summer holidays into a celebration of 'life as a gift'.

Early spring, it is easy to be grateful. The warmth, the blue sky, the chirping birds, the new signs of life...they all make me whisper a prayer of thanksgiving.

By Memorial Day, I am usually in high gear and my 'to do' list for summer needs to be implemented so I am focused on 'doing'. That is why I have made it a ritual to be grateful for the 'gift of life' over the Memorial Day Weekend, 4th of July and again on Labor Day. I spend a brief amount of time writing out what is going on in my life and what I am grateful for. It has been an exercise that keeps me centered and slowed down. Usually, Memorial Day comes the last week of May, so as I turned my calendar to June today, I reminded myself to celebrate this wonderful summer season and just enjoy the moments.

Contentment is rooted in being grateful. Paul says in Philippians 4:11 that contentment is 'learned' so by setting a reminder for myself as I turn the calendar on June 1st, July 4th and Sept 1st, I am 'learning' to be grateful and develop some roots of contentment in my soul.

I turned the calendar this morning, and I also turned my attitude around as I listed what I was thankful for at the end of May 2009. It's the good old summertime, don't let it slip away with all your busyness. Count your blessings and celebrate life as the gift that it is.

Home Improvement...

I came home late again tonight and wandered out to my garden. I went to water my flowers but realized it was more than that. I needed to see the colors. I longed to smell the blossoms. I wanted to renew my soul.

Our one year old grandson, Jonathan, had his cleft palate repaired this week. It was a brutal sight to see him after the two and a half hour surgery. His tongue looked like someone had lit it on fire and after it had burned, blew it out and left the inside raw and bloody. It was a thick, crispy mass. He couldn't close his mouth so we had to wipe the blood away as it continued to drain out and over his lips. He couldn't open his wide eyes the first day. He was given morphine and slept with arm restraints.

I walked to my garden to replace those images I had in my head. I drank in the color, inhaled the fragrance and knelt to gently remove a weed. I could finally do something here in my garden. After a day of sitting, I could dig and prune and make my garden abit better. Mostly, I could be renewed as I saw God's handiwork all around me. I could take heart that God was healing Jonathan just as sure as He was growing the seeds I had planted.

If you haven't tried gardening, improve your home this year by digging up a plot of soil. Improve your soul by meeting with God daily in your garden. It doesn't need to be a masterpiece, start small and then sit back and see God at work.
Nothing will restore your soul faster than spending some time appreciating God's creation.

Gardening for dummies

Barb put gardening 101 as her title but I think it should be called Gardening for Dummies! As of Thursday last week I had no idea what I was doing! I had never picked out a plant or shrub before....the most I had purchased was a hanging basket of flowers as a gift.

I got a crash course in plants, shrubs, flowers, fertilizer, watering, etc, etc. It's overwhelming in the beginning, but the results are beautiful.

Thus far, taking the time to water, enjoying the smell of the soil and soaking in the beauty of the plants, has allowed me to appreciate the beauty of God's great earth. Such color. Such variety. Such creativity!

I had no idea how many different plants and shrubs and flowers there were and how unique they each are. All of this makes me wonder what the garden of Eden must have been like? It must have been the most luscious green, the most vibrant colors. I can't even begin to imagine.

I'm looking forward to watching my garden grow...taking the time to get outdoors and breathe in the fresh air, time to step away from the electronics and enjoy a bit of nature in my own yard.

Now the question is, will I be able to remember to water my garden often enough that I will keep these little plants and flowers alive and growing? We'll see!

Gardening 101

Stacy and I planted flowers over Memorial Day weekend! So fun. So many colors and plants to choose from.

She needed completely new landscape, so we started simple. We planted easy plants that will be forgiving if she ignores them abit. Here are a few tips I have picked up in planting gardens of my own:

1. Before shopping for flowers, consider the 'sun factor'. If your garden beds receive direct sun for a long period of time, you will want to choose hardy plants. If your beds are mainly in the shade, you will have to choose plants that thrive in that exposure. (The plants are labeled at the garden store as to what exposure they can take)

2. Choose a site for your flower bed that can be enjoyed from the house if possible or as you drive up to your home.

3. Lay out a hose or sturdy rope to outline the pattern you want for your garden.

4. Dig in with gusto and prepare the soil by removing leaves, grass and weeds. Level off the area with a rake.

5. "Less is more" when purchasing bushes and flowers. They will grow and fill out. Limit your palatte to 2 or 3 colors and consider what goes well with the backdrop of your home.

6. Repeat the plant in the garden or nearby spaces. Repetition of color and type of plant offers a more serene view of your property. Place the plants around in different areas while they are still in their pots. You just might get inspired to try a different plan.

7. Spread mulch in between plants to limit the weeds from sprouting up. Put it carefully around the base of each plant.

8. Water your masterpiece! Let the hose run slowly on the bushes for a good amount of time. Water your plants the first few days to get the roots ready to branch out and deepen.

9. Sit back and enjoy! A summer full of color and beauty!

Home Improvement: One question to consider

I read one of Barb's books a couple years back called, "The Best Question Ever" by pastor Andy Stanley.

It is a small, yet very thought-provoking book.

Andy suggests that when we need to make a decision (about ANY area of our lives) we should ask ourselves: What is the wise thing for me to do, in light of my past experience, my present circumstances, and my future hopes and dreams?

This single question, if pondered and seriously considered, can dramatically change the way we make decisions.

What I love most about this question is that it doesn't tell us what to do, it just encourages us to ask, what is the WISE thing to do?

Can you imagine the impact this question could have on our children if we enabled them and taught them to consider the wise thing to do when making decisions? Sometimes we have to set aside our feelings, or our personal preference, or what's easiest or cheapest or makes everyone else the happiest...in order to do what is wise.

Each person has to answer this question for themselves. Only you can determine - based on your past, present and future - what would be the wise thing to do?

I looked up the definition of wise and here is what I found:

wise

[wahyz] Show IPA adjective, wis⋅er, wis⋅est, verb, wised, wis⋅ing.

–adjective

1.having the power of discerning and judging properly as to what is true or right; possessing discernment, judgment, or discretion.

2.characterized by or showing such power; judicious or prudent: a wise decision.

By asking ourselves what the wise thing to do is, we are essentially declaring that we want to be discerning. We want to determine what is true or right or best. We want to be....well wise!

As women 'striving to be wise' this question is one that we should refer to often when encouraging husbands, talking with friends, teaching our children and especially for ourselves. I think it has the potential to change our relationships, our families, our homes, and most of all, us!

This weekend try to use this question just once in your own decision making and encourage one other person to consider it as well.

Happy Memorial Day!

Asking Good Questions

This exercise isn't just between husbands and wives. Do you ask yourself good questions?

What is my mission in life going to be?

Who is my Master?

Am I using my time wisely?

Does my life style reflect my beliefs?

These questions can be asked of your children as they grow. Add to this list the all-important question of 'Who will my mate be?'

Questioning myself in a positive way can change my mood. Questioning a child with good questions can help them think for themselves in a good way.

Good questions need to be thought-provoking, not idle chatter or accusations.

Learning to ask good questions can affect your relationship with God as well. There are many questions in the Bible that sets my thinking right:
"Where can I go from your Spirit?"
"Where can I flee from your presence? (Ps 139:7-8)
"Do you not know, have you not heard? The Lord is the Everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth." (Is 40:37-38)
"Where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth." (Ps 121:1-2)

Aren't these questions better than asking myself:
Where is God? Doesn't God know what I am going through? Is God really interested in me?

Asking good questions of my faith, can turn my doubts and fears around. I start to focus on God's sovereignity and it forces me to answer my questions based on Truth.

Reflect on your questions and then see if making small changes in those questions won't change your thoughts and your conversations.

Can I Ask You a Question?

"Do I look fat in this?"

"Why doesn't your mother like me?"

"Do I talk too much?"

Do you give much thought to the questions you ask your husband? Ever thought that maybe you could become wiser in that area?

Asking Good Questions....is something you may want to consider this summer.

Often we put our husbands in a corner by the questions we ask him. He may find himself in a lose/lose situation as far as how he is going to answer you!

Sometimes the questions are just a waste of time and then you wonder why your husband doesn't listen to you.

A little fore thought can make a question into a whole evening of discussion.

"Honey, what could you see yourself doing 5 years from now?"
"When our children are grown, what would you like to be doing as a couple?"
"If money wasn't an issue, where would you like to spend your time?"

If you think this is a one-time exercise, it isn't. As your marriage moves into a new season, new questions will help you adjust, if you have learned the power of a good question.

So what was that question you were going to ask?! Think a moment before asking.

Home Improvement...ENJOY the moments.

"There is, in every child, at every moment, a miracle unfolding."
Erik Erikson, psychologist

Enjoy your children this weekend!

Take photos and have them for you to cherish, but don't make scrapbooking another discipline that 'must' be done.

For every photo put on a page, write a word or two from you, as a mom. Forget the frills and all the clever ornaments if time is an issue and instead write what the moment means to you. Your child will find a double blessing in having his/her photos to remember but also what it meant to you.

"Your words echo down the ages" is a quote I love. Add a word to each photo and call it good.

Simplify the layout and keep reminding yourself of WHO you are preserving these photos for and WHY you are taking the time.

Then, enjoy your miracles!

A photo dilemma

This week's topic is pretty applicable since I realized yesterday that I forgot to take pictures on Mother's Day!

Ahhh....my first Mother's Day and no photo of Samuel and I or Samuel, Ryan and I. How did I forget???? It's doubtful I will experience another Mother's Day with a baby in my arms and one in my belly :)

Barb and I had a good discussion on Mother's Day about scrapbooking...and picture taking...and recording all those memories and photos.

I am surrounded by women who stress out because they are 'behind' in their chronological scrapbooking and will never be caught up. I am also surrounded by women who take hundreds of photos and leave them all on their computer...never printing a one.

Where do I fit into this mix? Do I even want to scrapbook? Do I enjoy it? Do I do it for myself or for my spouse/children? Do I feel guilty about what I do or don't do?

These are the kinds of questions I need to ask myself as I take a look at the thousands of photos I have of Samuel. What kind of expectation am I placing on myself? Is it time to start new habits now that I have a child and another on the way? What is realistic for me in this season of life?

I don't have all the answers. I haven't determined all of that yet. But I do know this...I have less time these days and more photos. And yet, I still have a desire to record these precious 'firsts' for my son. Maybe it will be so I can look back someday and remember...rather than Samuel looking back.

I am looking at this part of my life with new eyes...thanks for pondering with us this week!

Think About It!

Who are you really scrapbooking for?

Stacy mentioned yesterday that she has over 3,000 photos of Samuel already...he's only 7 months old.

I was drawn back to my days of scrapbooking my young children and remember the feelings I had to get my photos into my kids' scrapbook. There was always a nagging thought that I had to sit down and get 'caught up'. Back then, I only had to deal with 'hard-copy' photos and that was always limited by what I could afford to develop.

What would I do today if I had digital photos to manage and all the options of journaling?

While I find it so worthwhile to leave a legacy for your children, I sometimes wonder if moms today don't scrapbook to make their life LOOK good instead of just getting out there and making a life that IS good.

Controversial, maybe, but also something to think about.

I have scrapbooks for all my kids. I documented when they ate their first bite of solid food. I have pictures of when they began walking. I saved their report cards and most of the notes they ever sent me. They can look back at these books and find out when they had chicken pox and who they went to prom with.

I think I did a pretty good job of capturing the moments, but what I am finding out now is, I think those moments were meant for me, not my kids. My grown kids rarely, if ever, peruse their books, but I do. Maybe in years to come, the scrapbooks will become more valuable to them, but I doubt it. They are very glad I made them. They are glad that their life was important and exciting to me. But now they are on to making a life for themselves and their families, and that is how it should be.

My gentle advice to Stacy yesterday is what I write today: Think of why you are capturing your child's life in photos and enjoy it all. But remember to enjoy the moments as much as the memory. Make as many moments indelible in your heart and those moments won't need to be cataloged and journaled. You will remember.

Scrapbook, yes

Stress over it, no. Your child won't wait around for you to get your books in order. Just help them to get their life in order, and maybe that will be enough.

Home Improvement...Pray for our Children

"Whether you have biological children or not, we are all spiritual mamas to somebody, and we can be praying—single women, childless women, women with a quiver full of children, women who’ve never had any children—God has put us in the position of being true women for children through prayer." (Janet Parshall, talk-show host and speaker)

What a perfect Home Improvement challenge for this weekend. We are all 'spiritual mamas to someone' so on this Mother's Day weekend let's commit to pray for our children.

List the children that God has brought into your life...nieces, nephews, grandkids, sons, daughters, perhaps neighbors or kids of friends. Pray for these children by name every day for the rest of the month of May. Sounds simple, right...so why aren't we doing it on a daily basis all year long?

Time to improve our homes, 'spiritual mamas', and Happy Mother's Day to all!

The year I skipped Mother’s Day

Our church asked me to write an article for our Sunday program for Mother's Day. I thought I would share it here...


The year I skipped Mother’s Day
by Stacy May

One year ago today I could not face the reality that another Mother’s Day was upon us. My dreams of motherhood were unfulfilled, and I did everything possible to avoid facing the day that so many families celebrated. My husband and I enjoyed a lazy and relaxing Sunday morning. We didn’t go to church and we didn’t see our families.

Proverbs 13:12 says, “A hope deferred makes the heart sick.” Last year my heart was desperately sick. For nearly three years my husband and I had walked the road of infertility and miscarriages.

We lost our first little one at 10 weeks in July 2006. For the next two years we struggled to conceive again. We pleaded with God. We begged God. We petitioned God. But His answer was no. His answer was, “Wait on me.”

Waiting is hard. It’s full of questions, doubts, and fears.

And for me, the pain of waiting was magnified one year ago today when everywhere I looked I was reminded that others were celebrating a gift that God had not yet given to me. Mother’s Day 2008 represented the tender reality that my womb was still empty. I was 32. It had been 22 months since our miscarriage and my heart was bitter, broken and hardened.

Last summer led me on a journey of dealing with the resentment, anger and bitterness that had taken root in my heart. This was difficult, yet necessary, as I longed to walk in the freedom of God’s grace and forgiveness.

And finally, in August of last year, I discovered I was pregnant. Surely this was God’s blessing as a result of the healing that had taken place in my heart. At 7 weeks we heard a beautiful heartbeat. But at 9 weeks we were told, for the second time, our baby had died in my womb.

My dreams of motherhood vanished as quickly as they had come. And another bitter root threatened to grow.

But in God’s great mercy he didn’t allow that to happen. Just 24 days later God took my waiting and showed me it was not in vain.

On October 4, 2008, we got a call about a baby boy born in Waconia the day before. He was just 24 hours old. Were we interested? We had not started the adoption process, but we jumped in the car and went to the hospital to meet the birth mom. Within an hour she told us she would like us to adopt our son, whom we promptly named Samuel. We took him home two days later.

For seven months we have not stopped praising God for Samuel’s miraculous arrival into our lives. We are in awe of God’s timing and God’s plans for our family. And we continue to live in awe of the author and creator of life: in January we discovered that I was pregnant. Samuel will become a big brother this fall. Our story continues to be a beautiful reminder that despite all of our planning, God alone determines our future.

Today, Mother’s Day 2009, I could celebrate that my future will hold children just 11 months apart. I could celebrate that my battle with infertility has come to an end.

But instead, today I choose to celebrate that God restored my soul…before he restored my circumstances. I celebrate that he healed my heart. I celebrate freedom from the bondage of bitterness. I celebrate the blessing of waiting on the Lord.

Interesting Question...

What is one thing you did well as a mom?

I've been asking that of my friends lately. We all have grown children and often times I hear my friends talk about what they would do differently if they had to do it over again.

When I ask them what they thought they did well, I get a variety of answers:

"I read the Bible and prayed with them daily"

"I think I played with my children alot"

"I read to them"

"I loved them"

I think this is a good question for all moms to ask themselves each Mother's Day. It keeps us fresh. What are we doing well this year as a mom? Depending on your season of life, your answer will vary but that is why it is important to ask yourself, "What am I doing well as a mom?" every so often.

Be specific:

"I've gotten up in the middle of the night to feed or quiet my baby for the past 9 months...I never knew I could do that and live to tell about it!"

"I am handling sibling rivalry this year. It's hard, but I am liking the challenge."

"I am drawing my husband into this parenting thing. Last year I wanted to do everything MY way. I am seeing that being a mom means I am a team player"

You might want to write it down on the back of one of your Mother's Day cards. As long as you are hanging on to the cards, hold on to what you are doing well and then add to that next year.

After 18 years, you might just find that celebrating Mother's Day really has meaning for you!

Motherhood

We are just days out from Mother's Day...

It's so hard for me to believe that I will be celebrating Mother's Day this year! One year ago I couldn't even have imagined that I would have a 7-month old (logistically that seemed impossible!) and be 5 months pregnant this Mother's Day.

Wow...

This role of motherhood still seems so new to me. Some days are good. Some days are hard. Some days I still can't believe I am a "mom." That title is still very foreign to me.

Becoming a mom (very quickly!) has been easy in some ways, and tough in others.

In the movie Marley and Me Jennifer Aniston says about being a mom, “No one tells you how hard this is going to be."

I agree with her. Even when you love it and wouldn't trade it for the world, it is still so hard.

Some days it is hard because it's so routine. Other days its just plain tiring...like this morning when Samuel woke up crying at 4:15 a.m.

But motherhood is more fulfilling than I ever could have imagined! I am not sure I thought that when Samuel was just one month old. He didn't smile. He didn't laugh. He didn't know who I was. I just fed and changed him.

But each day it gets more and more fulfilling as Samuel gets bigger and our bond deepens. I realize I am fortunate to be able to stay home with Samuel and I am so so thankful for that.

This week lets contemplate together the gifts and the challenges of motherhood....

The house that cleans itself

How's that for a title?

Today I saw a friend reading a book with that title and I was so intrigued about the title that I asked her about it.

She was raving about the first few chapters. The idea is that you don't try to duplicate someone else's systems...instead you look at your home, your struggles with cleaning and organizing, and come up with a system that works for you. She said it is very practical.

Here is the online description:

The House That Cleans Itself is a true housekeeping guide for the housekeeping–impaired! It boldly takes on the reasons behind chronic messiness and why ordinary home–organization books won’t work. Using the methods of “horizontal thinking,” this book teaches readers how to set up a home so efficiently and logically that it seems to clean itself.

More than a how–to book, The House That Cleans Itself also looks at what God has to say about cleanliness and order, and how He can inspire order in every reader’s life in a fresh and unique way. For added fun, some of the tips Mindy uses come from research for her popular novels, The Trouble with Tulip, Blind Dates Can Be Murder, and Elementary, My Dear Watkins.

I personally haven't read it, but I think I will. The title alone has sold me :)

If you're interested you can order it online here.

Let us know if you read it!

Garage Sales!

Garage sales are alot of work! If you are going to attempt one this spring, here are a few tips. The key is to attract ALOT of buyers. If you can get people to stop and browse, you probably will get a sale.

I think setting up a garage sale is alot like 'staging' a home to sell and that requires preparation:

1. Use bright helium balloons to attract people who may just drive by

2. Cut your grass and pay attention to your yard. You want the buyers to think all the treasures you are selling have been cared for!

3. Have things in working condition...batteries for toys and an electrical extension available so buyers can try out small appliances, etc.

4. Signs are so important. The address isn't important, just big, bright signs with arrows leading drivers straight to your driveway.

5. Display your items out on tables and hang clothes up if possible. 'Presentation', even at garage sales can make all the difference in making a sale!

6. Make arrangements with a company like ARC or another charity to pick up all left-overs after the sale. The purpose of the sale is to clean out...not save and store for another year!

Betsy has a quote I like, “The more you own the more it owns you.”

If you own too much, try a garage sale this spring!

Betsy's Back...by Popular Demand!

I decided you would rather hear Betsy's inspiring words on Spring Cleaning than mine, so this is what she had to say:

"This is definitely the time of year when everyone starts thinking about spring cleaning. I don’t know if it is being cooped up inside all winter or just the need for a change that comes with the onset of Spring. If you are anything like I am when the weather gets nice out, you get that itch to clear out some of the stuff that has been piling up over the winter months. I know not everyone is born with the cleaning gene like I've got, but I do believe everyone has the desire, on some level, to be more organized. I would like to share with you today a few tips on how I get more organized with the coming of Spring.

I like to do a real once over with my house to clear out some of the things we no longer use or need. This involves the whole family. I struggled with this early on with my children, who take after me, and have a hard time parting with anything.

One thing we have decided to do in our home is have a garage sale once a year. Either in the spring or fall. I know this may seem overwhelming in one sense, but in another sense it is my way of teaching my children how to part with the toys they no longer play with. They are allowed to choose the toys, set the price and keep the proceeds of their sales. It is amazing to watch them choose

The thing I have struggled with when trying to get rid of things is I never have had a place to put them and a system to help me get rid of them. They pile up in bags in a closet or in piles in the garage. This year I have decided to purchase those large Rubbermaid containers and place them in the garage. I have not totally decided how to label them but it will be very simple, clothes, household, toys etc. When we come across something we want to get rid of we place it in the designated tub. Then when it comes time to get ready for the garage sale everything will be in one place, easy to label and get ready.

If you are not up to the garage sale, just decide that once a month you are going to run a tub to Good will and empty them out. Depending on how much you get rid of you could go more than once a month or fewer times. Just schedule a time so the tubs don’t get over grown.

The other part I struggle with is getting my girls to part with anything. I have placed a bag in each of their rooms and have told them that whatever they choose to get rid of goes in the bag. They are then allowed to set the price and keep the proceeds of the sales at the garage sale. It is amazing to watch them choose things I thought they would never get rid of.

I like how this system has allowed us to really think about things we no longer need and the garage sale gives a deadline to reach for. I hope this has inspired a few of you to let go of some of those “things” in your life that have needed to go for a while. Happy Cleaning!

Spring cleaning...what's your plan?

It's spring here in Minnesota. How about where you live?

It's still cool, but there is a hint of summer in our weather....

I am not one for organizing or cleaning. I have friends who love to do both, but I prefer to bake, read a book or go for a walk!

This time of year though it does one good to dig in and start organizing and decluttering.

Here's my plan of attack:

I'm making a list of house projects that need a little - or a lot! - of attention this spring: organize hall closet, clean out porch, clean and organize our attic (aka dumping ground all winter long), organize my pantry.

Tonight my husband and I are attacking our attic. A friend is coming over next month to help with some other organizing projects (she is giving me her TIME as a birthday gift....isn't that a wonderful present?).

And I bought some bins and I have my label maker ready to go. Out with the winter clothes, in with the summer...er, maternity clothes!

I love my label maker and find such satisfaction in labeling things. Whether it's bins of my clothing, Samuel's clothing and the many different sizes he has, items in the hall closet or kitchen containers, the label maker is one of my favorite tools!

What about you? Are you excited to start the spring cleaning in your home? What's your plan of attack? Who is going to help you? Or who are you going to help? What's your favorite tool to use around the home?

Please share any tips, thoughts or inspiration to motivate us all. And happy cleaning!

Home Improvement...from Mother Theresa

Take a moment this weekend and watch this video on You Tube: Perseverance Pt 1

Listen to the singer's introduction and enjoy the words of her song.

I don't need to say anymore, except you will love it!

Birthday Thoughts

Today's my birthday!

What a perfect time to write about perseverance! As I sit and think about my life, I would have to admit that I am very good at STARTING a task, but not so good when it comes to FINISHING a project.

So what does that mean as far as finishing each season of life well? Perseverance is a valuable but often overlooked quality in a woman, I think. Perseverance is what is needed to really make each year of your life count for something.

I have found two 'checkpoints' in my life that help me maintain perseverance.

The first is vision. As long as I can hold on to a vision that inspires me to keep going for my goal, I can persevere through the tough times. Without vision, it is easy for me to leave a task or a discipline behind.

The second 'checkpoint'is vitality. Perseverance requires discipline. Discipline brings vitality into my life because it means I am choosing my path. I need to be disciplined in my spiritual life, my physical habits, my emotional health and my mental state in order to experience vitality.

I have found if I grow weary in what I really want to do, I remind myself of the big picture-the vision-I have and that usually will encourage me to stay the course.

If the vision doesn't inspire me, it's usually because one of my disciplines are off-kilter. My spiritual life is dry. My physical body is in need of attention (more sleep, more exercise, better food, etc). My emotional needs are raw or my mental state needs some stimulation.

Birthdays are a great time to get a vision for the future. It's a great time make sure that all areas of my life-spiritual, emotional, physical and mental-are full of vitality.

The Bible says that perseverance produces character. That's what makes birthdays a perfect time to talk about perseverance. What better gift can you give yourself and your loved ones.

Go change your world

The last phrase of Barb's posting has got me thinking...

Go change your world.

It made me think of a Michael W. Smith song from my younger days.

It made me think of myself and if I believe I can still change the world?

It also made me think of my role as a mother. I have a little guy (and soon another little one) that I have the privilege of molding and encouraging.

Do I have the attitude that I can change the world by raising them?

Do I believe that they can change the world?

Will my words and my actions as I talk to them, mold them, train them, and teach them communicate that I believe they can change the world?

Hmmm...these are good things to ponder as a mom.

Perseverance

We are wrapping up another year of Homemakers with Hope! One month to go. This past month we talked about perseverance.

I shared the familiar story of "The Daffodil Principle". The story tells about a field of daffodils that covered a mountain side. In the midst of all the flowers, there was a small A-frame house with a sign next to it. People would come from all over to observe these blooming beauties and they would read this sign:

"Answers to your Questions I know you are asking":
50,000 bulbs
one at a time
by one woman
2 hands
2 feet
and a very little brain
It all began in 1958

This unknown woman changed the world in which she lived.

One little woman...with perseverance. A good story for today...go change your world.

Chocolate, condoms, netflicks

No those are not the ingredients for a romantic night at home :)

Chocolate, condoms, netflicks, romance novels, McDonalds and more...are among the industries that are doing well during the current recession.

Check out this article to read about the top 10: 10 Winners in the Recession

You'll see what people are turning to when times are tough. Some out of necessity, some out of desperation.

There are obvious ones like career building web sites and resume editing.

Some people are making wise cuts in spending: Netflicks is ultimately cheaper than taking the family to the movies and at-home coffee is cheaper than Caribou or Starbucks.

But what about chocolate? Romance Novels? McDonalds?

What does that say about what/who we turn to when times are tough? Do we indulge in sweets? Do we try to escape by reading a love story? Do we fill up on salt and fat?

At times, all those sound good to me. But am I partaking in activities or developing habits that I'm not proud of? Good things to ponder.

I just wanted to share this article and challenge each one of us as wise women to be aware and intentional about the daily choices we are making.....

Another Spring Recipe...YUM!

Here's another fun recipe to welcome in the warmer weather...

Frozen Yogurt Pie

Make granola pie crust:
1 1/2 cups granola (I used 'Bunches, Just Bunches'...it tasted great...less fat than granola)
1/4 cup butter (I used Smart Balance...healthier), melted
1/4 cup flour
1/4 cup brown sugar

Mix together, put in pie pan and bake for 10 minutes at 350 degrees

Let cool

Fill the crust with Kemps strawberry frozen yogurt (or ice cream). Top it with a chocolate drizzle. Add a dollup of whip cream and fresh strawberries just before serving.

So easy and refreshing.

An Easter Recipe

I hosted an Easter brunch at my house yesterday. One of the dishes I served is the same one that Barb serves every year on Christmas.

It is so easy, so simple and so delicious. It takes just a couple minutes to prepare the night before and then you just pop it in the oven in the morning.

Caramel Breakfast Ring
18 Rhodes frozen dinner rolls (and not any more!!)
1 small box cook and serve Butterscotch pudding (not instant)
1/2 cup butter
1/2 cup brown sugar
Optional: 1/2 cup chopped nuts (place in bundt pan first if use)

Put 18 rolls in greased bundt pan. Sprinkle with butterscotch pudding. Bring butter and brown sugar to a boil. Stir until mixed thoroughly. Pour over frozen dough rolls. Cover overnight with a towel and in the morning bake in oven for 1/2 hour at 325 or 350. Be sure to put a cookie sheet under the bundt pan to catch the caramel overflow :) Turn upside on a platter after several minutes. Serve warm.

Enjoy this delicious recipe with friends or family for the next holiday, breakfast or brunch you attend. Everyone is sure to love it!

Happy Easter!

Have a blessed and wonderful Easter weekend!

Barb & Stacy

Maundy Thursday, What's That?

Today is Maundy Thursday. Do you know what that means?

Christians commemorate the Last Supper—a Passover meal that Jesus shared with his disciples on the Thursday before He was crucified. Before He broke bread with His disciples, He washed their feet.

So much was done that evening that speaks volumes to us today but often gets lost in 'tradition'.

We celebrate Christ's resurrection and the hope of eternal life, but do we remember what Jesus told the disciples just hours before His arrest?

After washing their feet, He told the disciples, "Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another's feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you."

A few minutes later He said, "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."

Easter is a time I thank God for my salvation. It is a time when everyone should hear the true meaning of Easter. Christ said the greatest command is to "love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind."

Easter is also a time to DO what Christ said before His life was complete here on earth. It is the time to 'love one another'...the second commandment.

That's why Easter prompts me to think about my friends who are walking along side me to encourage me in my faith. I thank God for them and I let those friends know that they are invaluable in helping me keep both of Christ's commands.

A Hallmark Easter?

This week I heard something that made me very sad. A friend told me about a gal she knows who is in her early 20s and had never heard the true meaning of Easter until last year.

During her younger years, this gal's family got together to celebrate Easter. They decorated eggs, made Easter baskets with candy, had a big family meal, etc. But they did not go to church. More importantly, no one ever explained to her that the reason we acknowledge and celebrate Easter is because of a man named Jesus.

This gal thought Easter was simply about an Easter bunny, eggs and candy. She knew only the Hallmark version of Easter.

Speaking of eggs...did you know the reason that eggs and bunnies are associated with Easter is because originally eggs were seen as a sign of fertility and bunnies were known for reproducing rapidly? Eggs come from chickens, not bunnies - but on this holiday it's the Easter bunny that delivers the eggs.

Hearing about the gal who had never heard about more than eggs and bunnies on Easter, made me ponder who in my life only knows the Hallmark Easter? Who has never heard that the reason we celebrate Easter is because it represents the miracle of new life...

These last few days before Easter, I'm going to take time to think about those I love and care about. I'm going to think about those I work with. Those I live near. Those I interact with.

I'm going to see if I can't help just one person understand the difference between a Hallmark Easter and an Easter that celebrates the story of Jesus and his impact on our lives.

Friends!

One week til Easter...a time for friends and family. It's a good time to consider my friends and all they mean to me.

Quite awhile ago I heard Susan Andringa talking about her book, Esteemed Journey. She asked a question that is perfect for this time of year. She was talking about friends and asked who was important in my life. She asked a powerful question when it came to choosing friends;

"Who is in your life that would be willing to die for you?"

Does that grab your attention? It did mine.

She went on to say that we have 'balcony' people in our lives and 'basement' people in our lives. It is important to identify who is who?

'Balcony friends' are friends who cheer you on. They are rooting for you and celebrate your successes.

'Basement people' are people in your life that just may be there, but not necessarily people you choose to speak into your life. They have a tendency to grab your ankles and pull you down.

I like that visual and I listed 5 friends that I consider 'balcony people'. These are friends I want to listen to.

If I ask the question, "Who is willing to die for me?" Jesus Christ has already proven His love for me. He died for ME. He needs to be #1 on my list of balcony people.

Interesting exercise just before Easter, huh?

Who do you listen to the most?

Who do you try to please?

Who would you be willing to die for?

Easter and friends...give it some thought this week.

The Easter Egg Hunt!

Our family hosted a neighborhood Easter Egg hunt for quite a few years. Kids of all ages showed up at our doorstep early morning, usually wearing winter jackets and mittens. (Easter never was a guarantee for warm weather). I divided the kids up into pairs, one older child with a younger child. Anyone who could walk could participate! Each pair was given a picture of a farm animal and that was their team name. When every team was in place, we walked to the park that was behind our home. Very early that morning, my husband and I hid colorful, plastic eggs all over the park. Each egg had a picture of a farm animal on it and was filled with goodies.
The 'hunt' started when all the young participants received a basket. When an egg was found, the older child of each team was not allowed to touch or pick up any egg. The older child could just stand over the egg that had their farm animal picture on it and make the sound of that animal. That was a signal for the younger child to come over and pick up the egg and put it in their basket.

What a sight that was:
Older children "mooing", "barking", "meowing", "baaing", "clucking", etc all over the park. Parents lined the park, taking pictures and cheering the teams on.

The 'hunt' was over before we knew it and everyone was invited to have hot chocolate, coffee and donuts to make the morning enjoyable for everyone. The treasures were sent home with each child along with the Easter story.

What started as a fun neighborhood tradition, ended up making an impact with each family.

This Easter, share the Good News...He is risen! Indeed! Tell the story with friends and neighbors this Easter in whatever way that fits your family.

Blessing Baskets

Everywhere you turn these days you see Easter baskets....wicker, plastic, stuffed...you name it and it seems to be available. They are loaded with toys, candies and other goodies.

I love gift-giving so a few years ago I made Blessing Baskets instead of Easter Baskets. I gave them to family and a few friends so they would know what a blessing they are to me.

I included some candy, a note to whoever the recipient was, and the following prayer along with jelly beans:

The Jelly Bean Prayer

Red is for the blood He gave,
Green is for the grass He made,
Yellow is for the sun so bright,
Orange is for the edge of night.
Black is for the sins that were made
White is for the grace He gave,
Purple is for the hour of sorrow,
Pink is for the new tomorrow.

A bag full of jelly beans,
Colorful and sweet,
It's a Prayer,
It's a Promise,
It's an Easter Treat!

This was just a small token to let people know that I was grateful for the blessing of their presence in my life. And it put a little bit different spin on the typical Easter basket.

Do you have ideas of ways to bless others this Easter? If so, please share! We'd love to hear everyone's creative and inspirational ideas for both kids and adults!

An Easter Discipline

As a child, I never observed 'Lent'. I don't understand what goes along with the practice, but I believe it is a discipline people follow to refrain from habits or actions for the days leading up to Easter. I used to walk with a neighbor who gave up 'sweets' before Easter. She said it really wasn't too hard because she didn't really have a 'sweet tooth.'

Stacy's posting got me thinking about Lent. These weeks leading up to Easter is probably a good time to focus specifically on my theme as far as application goes.

I find memorizing is hard for me. The point of memorizing is not to see how many verses I can memorize. The point is what happens to my mind in the process of reviewing and truly remembering each verse. I find my mind captures completely different thoughts when I am rehearsing verses than when I am 'thinking' the rest of my day.

There are only 13 days until Easter. I am going to accept Stacy's Easter challenge. I am going to feed my mind with HOPE until Easter. That is usually the mindset I have when I am memorizing, but then I go on with my daily thoughts and duties and get caught up in worries and 'what ifs' of the future.

I just finished reading, If You Want to Walk on Water, You've Got to Get Out of the Boat, by John Ortberg. He writes about 2 laws that govern our lives:

The Law of Cognition: I am what I think about.
The Law of Exposure: My mind will think most about what it is most exposed to.

It's the second law that made me take up Stacy's challenge. I am going to expose my mind to scripture by memorizing it, but also keep it away from so many of my 'lazy' habits of TV, worthless movies, complaining conversations and even discouraging news reports. For 13 days I am going to 'feed' my mind very diligently with thoughts that are 'true, noble, right, pure,lovely, admirable, praiseworthy and excellent'!
Why does this pose such a challenge for me? Often because I am trying to do it by my own strength.

That's why I will celebrate Easter in 13 days. I will have 13 days to ponder why Christ died on the cross. I will realize that without His strength, I can do NOTHING...including bringing my 'thoughts into captivity'.

13 days until Easter. 13 days to prepare my heart and MIND.

An Easter Challenge

To help me focus on my daily bread theme, I'm planning to read two chapters from Luke every day from April 1-12. In doing so, I will read the entire book of Luke by Easter. Two chapters a day seems quite doable, will take me through the birth, life, death and end with the resurrection of Christ.

I can't think of a better way to get my heart and mind prepared for Easter this year.

I feel constantly bombarded with all the Easter decor available to purchase, candy to buy and meal planning to think about for Easter.

I don't want to miss what an amazing time of year this is - celebrating the life and death and resurrection of Christ. It's a miracle and it's one I want to take the time to acknowledge.

Do you have other ideas or suggestions on how to be mindful of the true purpose of Easter? If so, please share!

Won't you join me in this Easter challenge?

Home Improvement--2009 Theme

So we are 3 months into the 'New Year'...not too late to choose your theme for this year. Think about some area in which you would like to grow, make it your theme, and then make an effort each week to add to your theme and review what you are learning about yourself, God and others by focusing on this particular discipline, principle or topic.

Kim has dedicated Thursday to review her theme on her blog:
Check it out at: Kim Weed

What a great way to hold herself accountable.

If you don't have a blog, share your theme with a trusted friend and ask her to hold you accountable to make an effort to grow in this area.

Start this weekend if you haven't already. You won't be disappointed as the year progresses and you see a change in yourself...for the better.

Is Someone Listening to You?

"Listening is rare. There are certain people we meet to whom we feel we can talk because they have such a deep capacity for hearing; not hearing words only but hearing us as a person. They enable us to talk on a level which we have never before reached. They enable us to be as we have never been before. We shall never truly know ourselves unless we find people who can listen, who can enable us to emerge, to come out of ourselves, to discover who we are. We cannot discover ourselves by ourselves." (emphasis is mine)
quote from Jesus Man of Prayer, by Margaret Magdalene.

A deep personal connectedness takes time. We are indeed blessed to have one or maybe two people in our lives that really listen to what we say and help us realize the person we can become.

Sharing my theme with other women has been a way to let others into my life in a more purposeful way. It's non-threatening, yet takes a conversation abit deeper. It takes time to get to know people. Sharing my theme has opened the door for other women to express what they want to learn during the course of a year and allows me to hold them accountable as they hold me accountable to my goals.

It is in sharing my theme that I find who is walking in the same direction with me. Those are the women I pull into my 'inner circle' as I know they are good listeners and will help me discover myself and allow me to help them as well.

If you haven't chosen a theme for 2009, give it some thought. Then tell someone you have a theme for 2009. See what their reaction is. You might just find a new friend who will enable you to be as you have "never been before."

Update on my theme

The theme I chose for 2009 is Daily Bread.

As the mom of a young child and a mother-to-be of a second, partaking in my Daily Bread is essential.

However, I'm quickly learning that choosing my daily bread first is a matter of the mind....of the will. I can desire to spend time in the Word but desire doesn't get me anywhere. It's following through on that desire.

I am an all or nothing gal. Some days when I don't think I have adequate time to meet with the Lord, I don't do anything at all.

Other days I know I need to, but instead I procrastinate. I avoid it like the plague. I find anything and everything to do instead. I choose other things instead of investing in my theme: a book, the television or my computer.

When I choose to partake in my Daily Bread, I am more patient, more encouraging, more loving, more intentional, more prayerful. I am more aware of the needs of others as I go throughout my day. I am mindful of Scripture as I face various circumstances in my day.

When I skip my Daily Bread I am self-focused, hurried, striving to accomplish my agenda, and often distracted by unimportant things in my day.

I guess I didn't realize that my theme this year would be so...daily.

I didn't realize it would be a choice I had to make...daily.

I didn't understand how it would effect me...daily.

I've got a long ways to go on my theme - one day at a time.

Theme for the Year!

Did you pick a 'theme' for the year 2009? How's it going for you? We almost have 3 months behind us already, so have you noticed some growth in your life by focusing on a theme?

I chose a theme that is stretching me more than usual. I am 'renewing my mind'...by 'hiding God's word in my heart'. Just picking this theme has taught me something about myself:

1. I sure am good at finding excuses not to 'renew my mind'. It is so much easier just to think random thoughts.

2. Memorizing scripture requires alot of review and even then I forget what I thought I had just learned. Reviewing is a discipline in itself for me!

3. I am much more aware of scripture now, when I hear it quoted on the radio, in a sermon or written in a book. I want to 'memorize' it, but realize my list of verses 'to' memorize is already double the list of verses I have mastered.

4. I find I 'pray' scripture verses more often. That has really encouraged me to 'hang in there' with this theme.

5. One verse will lead me to another verse and I find the Bible has become more vital to my daily life.

6. I see the power of the Holy Spirit at work. I can tell when I am just trying to memorize words compared to the times when I really want to learn 'a truth'. The Holy Spirit will empower me to learn when my heart is ready to accept the truth.

7. It is a daily struggle. 'Renewing my mind' will have to be a life-long focus if this theme will be worth anything. Ummmm, Psalms 1:3 says we are to meditate on His word night and day...not just as a theme for one year.

8. I wish I had chosen this theme years ago!

What is your theme teaching you?

Here's a hip-hip-hurrah to all of you who chose a theme and have pursued it. It's not too late to gear up again and make some progress. It will be a measureable way to evaluate the year 2009 and a wonderful way to remember it.

First day of spring!

Today is the first day of spring! It doesn't seem like it here in MN beause it's cold, cloudy and raining. But isn't rain the first sign of spring?

As if this week doesn't hold enough opportunities to celebrate, today is another one.

Put away your winter decor. Get out your spring colors...rugs, pillows, centerpieces, etc.

Get out your recipes and make a list of good ones for the spring. Include a handful of new ones to try in the next few months.

Go through your wardrobe and pack up the heavy sweaters (leave some of the lighter ones if your weather is still cool like ours).

Most of all, take time to notice the sunshine, the longer, lighter days and the changes nature brings this time of year.

Go for a walk - with friends, your spouse, your kids, whomever. Enjoy and celebrate the gift of health and the smell of spring!

Happiness

"Happiness isn't something you experience; it's something you remember."

Do you agree with this quote of Oscar Levant?

There is real power in any moment when it is remembered...but I think women can be very good at finding happiness in any given moment because we are emotional and relational beings.

As moms, we need to celebrate often...to experience the happiness at hand and also to store away moments to remember.

I took the liberty to re-write a favorite Hallmark card that was about Fathers;

"This is how you can tell a mom
She is a woman who will play with you even though she has friends her own age to play with!"

Make today a 'happiness day'...play with your kids even if you have friends your own age to play with! Take pictures along the way or write a quick note in your journal so you can continue to experience happiness when you take time to remember.

March Madness

March Madness starts tomorrow!

We have friends hosting an all-day party at their house...possibly for multiple days in a row.

Are you aware of March Madness? It's not something we really celebrate or watch a lot of in the May household, but it's fun to hear the excitement of those who love basketball.

If your husband or children are basketball fans, tomorrow and into the weekend is a great chance to surprise them by having b-ball days at your house.

Make game friendly food.

Wear team colors (here it's maroon and gold for the gophers!).

Watch the games as a family and talk about the players together. Or rent and watch a basketball movie and then talk about the sport. Some movie options are (be sure to check movie ratings):
Coach Carter
Glory Road
Air Bud
Forrester
He Got Game
Hoosiers

Whatever you do, make it fun and memorable and celebrate the little things in life!

It's a Boy!

That's what I heard on this day, at this time...33 years ago! Happy Birthday, Ryan!

Every year I pull out Ryan's baby-book and re-live the memories. This morning I read a note an older cousin had written to him. The note ended with;
"I think you're a very lucky kid and good luck in your new life."

33 years later I can say that Ryan was a very lucky (blessed!)kid who met a wonderful girl who he somehow managed to persuade to marry him.

He has needed more than 'luck' from a blarney stone, however to experience the life he has lived up to this point.

If you're a young mom, do you ever wonder what you are going to do when your kids are grown and gone? Well, you will spend alot of time 'remembering' and alot of time praising God that He had His hand in your children's lives and but for His grace, you may not still be standing!

Raising kids is hard...so take time to celebrate along the way. Make their birthdays memorable and then record something special each year so as a mom, you can look back and see how very 'lucky' your child was.

Never let them forget that they are "fearfully and wonderfully made" and that God has plans to give them "hope and a future".

St. Patricks Day

Tomorrow is St. Patrick's Day. It is also my husband's birthday!

Today I bought Samuel a St. Patrick's Day t-shirt, we bought window stickers, some green plates and a pair of fun socks. I went grocery shopping tonight and bought food to make him a special dinner tomorrow night.

I realized that I'm going the extra mile because it is my husband's birthday tomorrow, but I really do love celebrating different holidays and the seasons they represent. I also recall growing up in a home where my mom decorated for the seasons and holidays. It is a tradition I would like to carry on with my kids.

For me, as the years go by and my kids get older, building my home will include recognizing and celebrating the seasons and the holidays. I'm not into buying for the sake of supporting the retail world, but I do think there is joy in celebrating fun days and milestones.

Tomorrow make sugar cookies with your kids and add green sprinkles or green frosting.

Dress your kids in green.

Hide a treat somewhere in the house and have them search for the 'pot of gold.'

Have green jello, green veggies, green pancakes, green milk, or whatever you can think up for your meals.

Make this a fun day of celebrating life, love and the joy of each season!

Home Improvement-as a Mom!

Here's are 3 simple questions to ask yourself this weekend...

"Who gets my best--my family or others?"

"Am I more spiritual, more fun, more loving when I am elsewhere?"

Psalm 101:2 says " I will walk in my house with a blameless heart."

Is there room for improvement?

Great Advice

One great tip I received when I was a young mom was to do what I love to do with my children. I think I was complaining at the time, to an older woman, that I really didn't like to play board games.

She responded with a question, "Then why do you play board game with them?"

I thought all good moms played board games.

She went on to suggest that I do what I love to do...with my kids.

It was then that I visited the library more often, because I loved to read.

I played in the wading pool with my kids because I loved to be outdoors and stay cool

I made healthy food with them in the kitchen because I loved to eat

I walked around the lake with them because I loved to walk

I taught them how to play hide and seek because I loved the peace and quiet for a few moments:)

I found that my list of things that I liked to do with my kids was quite lengthy and gave me alot of interaction with my kids. I was a mom with a good attitude because I was doing the things I loved to do...with my kids.

It was great advice then...it is great advice that I pass on to you:)

A homemaker...wannabe?

Today is one of those days....one of those days when you feel like being a Homemaker is a task much too overwhelming and intimidating than you are prepared for.

My home is a mess. I mean a big mess.

There is stuff everywhere. And I just picked up not that long ago. Didn't I?

Everywhere I look I see piles of papers, stuff, clothes, dishes.....and there are only 3 of us! Whose mess is this anyway?!

I just got an email in my inbox from www.homemakingorganized.com

I clicked on the link from the newsletter and read the home page of the website.

I couldn't agree with this statement more:
"Here at Homemaking Organized we believe that homemaking is infinitely easier when you're organized. And being organized does not have to be dull. It means having more time for things you love like your family instead of cleaning or organizing endlessly."

I don't like to clean. I don't like to organize.

But I realize today that I need to do those things because I don't like living in chaos either. I don't like my house a mess. I don't like not being able to eat at my dining room table because it is covered in papers.

So some days you just gotta do what you don't want to do so you can do what you want to do. Like eat dinner in an orderly fashion at the table!

I love my home and I am definitely still 'becoming an expert' on how to care for it....a life-long process I am sure!

Are You An Expert?

"The colorized spinal tracts are the fasciculus gracilis, the fasciculus cuneatus, the anterolateral system and the lateral corticospinal tract."

"Huh?" I read the above sentence in one of the books my son was studying. Sentence after sentence had more words I DIDN'T know, than words I recognized. I couldn't even begin to guess what he was learning.

I asked him how he knew what all the terms were and how he could remember it all. "Study", he said simply...and then went back to studying.

He is in his first year of medical school.

When my kids were young, I came across a quote that has become a favorite of mine:
When You Love Someone...Become an Expert of that Person

I reflected on that quote as I stared at Dan's textbooks. How was I going to to become an expert of him as a medical student when I couldn't even pronounce the words he was reading? I realized again, the wisdom of the quote as I focused on the word 'become'.

It's an on-going process to become an 'expert' on someone you love. What I knew about Dan as a toddler was the beginning of understanding him bit by bit over the years. I have had to come along side him on a regular basis in order to see him change and develop.

I won't ever BE an expert of my children. As a mom, I can only attempt to become an expert in becoming an expert of my children.

I can listen.

I can watch them.

I can remember special moments that revealed a special love of theirs.

I can ask questions (but not too many!)

I can pray for them.

I can pray for myself...that I truly am seeking to know them and not just control them.

I can find Bible verses that comfort me or fill up my mind so I don't jump to conclusions that are not wise.

I can laugh with them; I can hug them; I can cry with them; I can learn all I can about what they are learning.

I can tell them over and over again I love them in whatever 'love-language' they hear best.

I can thank God for the time, health and energy He has given me to be my kids' mom.

I can continue to ask Him how I can BECOME more of an expert to my children...no matter what age they are.

Home Improvement...In The Kitchen

Here are 2 interesting labels to check out at the grocery store this weekend. Compare Campbell's 98% Fat-Free Cream of Mushroom soup to Campbell's Healthy Request Cream of Mushroom soup. Compare the fat content, the saturated fat content and the sodium content on the labels. You might be surprised by what you find.

Here's a Heart-Smart Cookie to try this weekend. Let me know what you think, I think it is tasty and better for you and your family than the traditional chocolate chip cookie:

6 Tablespoon butter, melted
3/4 cup brown sugar
1/3 cup white flour
1/3 cup whole wheat flour
3/4 teaspoon baking soda
1 1/2 cup oatmeal
1/2 teaspoon salt

Mix the above together

Add 1 egg
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 cup chopped dates (You can substitute raisins if you don't like dates)
3 oz chopped bitter chocolate (If you use milk-chocolate, it isn't as heart-healthy, but it might appeal to your family for the first time around)

Bake at 350 degrees for about 12 minutes.

Enjoy...and have a healthy weekend with your familiies!

Less is More

'Less is more' is a good motto to have in the kitchen. Less salt, less sugar, less calories, less in serving size. Moms, as cooks, are in control here and can influence their family in many small ways.

Eating healthy did not come easy for me. I was born with a SWEET tooth. I have had to gradually change my eating and cooking habits over the years.

Some of the basic ways I changed my habits included:

Replacing couple of tablespoons of white flour with whole wheat flour everytime a recipe calls for flour. Normally, no one would notice the difference. I would increase the whole wheat flour gradually in many recipes until I was using only whole wheat flour if my family didn't complain about the texture or taste!

Often I will not add salt to anything I cook. Table salt can be added if it is really necessary, but often times a meal doesn't need the extra sodium.

I rarely 'pack' the brown sugar into the measuring cups as many recipes call for. If I am making it just for the family, the added sweetness usually is not missed.

I make my own white sauce instead of using canned soup. It reduces the sodium, additives and fat in a recipe. It is definitely cheaper too. Here's a basic recipe:

In a small, heavy saucepan, melt 2 tablespoons of butter over low heat.
Blend 2 tablespoons of flour into the melted butter.
Add 1/4 teaspoon of salt.
Cook over low heat, stirring, for 4 to 5 minutes. Cooking for this length of time will minimize 'flour' taste.
Slowly add 1 cup of milk, stirring constantly.
Continue cooking slowly until smooth and thickened.
For thin white sauce, follow the instructions above, but use 1 tablespoon of butter and 1 tablespoon of flour. Thin white sauce is used in cream soups.
For thick white sauce, follow the instructions above, but use 3 tablespoons of butter and 3 tablespoons of flour. Thick white sauce is used in soufflés.

I read labels! Saturated fat is usually what I am looking for. Tortillas are a great place to experiment with your low-fat tolerance. They come in all diffferent fat content. I use the no fat version when I use them in a main dish. I use 1 gram of fat tortillas when eating as a bread.

I use "Smart Balance" (not the lite) when I bake instead of butter often. A friend of mine who is a cardiologist says she tells her patients to use this instead of butter all the time.

Consider the responsibility you have if you are the cook for your family. Little habits can make a big difference in the health of the ones you love and often will be more economical as well.