Have a New Kid by Friday

Today’s message is late (sorry) and will be short and sweet. (I have a sick little girl today). I hope to have more time to post tomorrow...

Jeff and I have been struggling the last few weeks with a few behavior issues in our daughters and to be quite frank…we have been discouraged. Parenting is hard work! We were both at the end of our ropes this past weekend and after praying for wisdom, a book popped into my head that I purchased a few months back as a possibility for our small group but put it to the side and life happened. It is this book…

Have a New Kid by Friday by Kevin Leman. We are only to Wednesday, the third chapter, but this could quite possibly be the best parenting book we have ever read. To quote Kevin Leman, “If you believe that you, as a parent, are to be a healthy authority over your child, this book is for you. If you don’t believe that you, as a parent, are to be a healthy authority over your child, put this book down right now and buy another. You won’t like what I have to say, you won’t do it, and you’ll complain about me to your friends.”

It is actually more a book about changing yourself as the parent than even your child. We have already tried a few of the techniques he has suggested and they have worked. It is a lot of common sense, reality based parenting, but I didn’t really realize how much I needed to change so that I can be the best parent for my daughters. It is a very humbling experience, but very good at the same time…so if you are looking for a good read this summer, and you have children, read this book! You will not be disappointed.

Good Reads

A MOPS mom recently introduced me to www.Goodreads.com

I have gone on it abit and it looks interesting.

Anybody familiar with this site? Would you recommend it as a site to track our reading? Please give us your feedback.

Have a great weekend...and read a good book!

Cure for the Common Life

I am not a reader by nature. Some people love to read. They have stacks of books beside their beds and are often reading 3 or 4 books at one time. I like to refer to myself as a reader by choice. I see the benefits of reading and there are things I want to learn, so I read. That also leads me to sharing that I only read those things that I find might be beneficial to me in my everyday life. I do not just read to read and I do not remember the last fiction book I read. I am not saying the way I read is the right way, it is just the way I am. My husband and I used to read a ton of books together on marriage and parenting before we had kids, now not as much as either of us would like. But every now and then I make myself sit down and read a good book. Last month I did something like that. . .I listened to a book on tape while traveling up north. I listened to Cure for the Common Life: Living in Your Sweet Spot by Max Lucado. Max Lucado just happens to be my husband’s favorite author and this is one book we had on audio that I had not read yet. I loved it! I was struggling with my theme for this year, but after listening to this book. . .it was clear. (We will be sharing our themes in a few weeks so I will wait to share. . .add a little suspense).

As I listened to this book I found myself being so thankful that there are talented people who write books that can speak so much truth in such an understanding and practical way. I was challenged and encouraged, but most of all reminded of where my focus needs to be. I would highly recommend this book to anyone looking for an easy read that refocuses you to look at yourself through God’s eyes and focus on living in your sweet spot.

Good Books

Several weeks ago I heard Dennis Prager interview John Rosemond, author of The Well-Behaved Child. I sat in my car and waited until the interview was over because I was so excited to hear what this author had to say. Lots of common sense, and effective ways to parent.

The book is chocked full of good stuff. I'll just give you a few highlights....

"The most obedient children are also the happiest children" (Parenting axiom Three)
This is just one of 5 axioms.

He maintains a parent needs to act like a leader:

He shares a Parenting Creed:
1. I know what I'm doing (I am decisive)
2. I know where I'm going (I have a vision that guides my decisions)
3. I know what I want (I am assertively direct; I don't beat around the bush when it comes to giving instructions)
4. I know I'm going to get it. ( I am positive, optimistic, self-assured, and inspiring; I bring out the best in people

Sounds like an intentional parent, doesn't it? So much of what he says is based on the parent knowing who he/she is. We talk about this in Homemakers all the time. No matter what age your child is...you will be a better parent if you know the direction in which you are going.

Rosemond contends that the majority of parents today are "stressed, uncomfortable in their authority and vague" when parenting their children.

The interview was so easy to listen to. I found myself saying 'Amen' to a few of his comments. The book has alot of stuff to take in and alot to apply but it is encouraging all along the way.

Near the end of the book he says to "make Proverbs 22:6 your vision statement":
"It's about your child's character, not his achievements; manners, not skills. Besides, people of good character figure out how to share their gifts with the rest of us."

Lots of common sense...and good ideas.

Remembering 2009

Are you ready for this year to end? It seems like everyone I talk to says they can't believe it's the New Year again. Where did the time go?

I've found about the best way to track my year is by reviewing the books I've read. I keep a notebook and I record a brief summary of the books I read. I hate to admit this, but as I looked through my notebook today, there were books I read that I forgot all about. That means I don't remember too much about what is inside of them either:) Still, I am glad I read the books I did. In my notebook I fill out a quick synopsis of each book:

Name of book:
Author:
Number of pages in book:
Number of pages I read: (most the time I finish a book, but if it's not really speaking to me, I just record the number of pages I do read. It helps me to know if I should recommend a book, etc.)
Where did I hear about the book:
Premise of book:
Did it meet my expectations:
Would I recommend it to other women:
Why or why not:
What did I learn and hope to remember:


In 2009 I read 2 of John Ortberg's books, "When the Game is Over, it all goes Back in the Box" and Everybody's Normal till you get to Know Them". Both good books, easy reading, alot of good stuff. Highly recommend them.

I read 2 books by Margaret Feinberg. She is a popular author for women. "The Organic God" tells of her journey to see God's beauty daily. She asks, "What do you love about Jesus?" That is her way to open up conversations with other women. She maintains that sharing one's faith is a matter of connection, not coercion.
Her other book, "The Sacred Echo" is about prayer.

I recommend any of these 4 books if you are looking for inspiration and growth of your soul in 2010.

I loved reading to my kids when they were young. When they began reading books by themselves, I asked them which ones they would recommend for me to read. It made them think about why they were reading the books they chose and also gave us lots to talk about.

To my surprise, my kids continued to recommend books to me all the way through college!

In 2009, Dan told me about 4 books that I would never have picked up on my own. I learned alot about what he was studying and again gave us some good conversation around the books.

If you are looking for New Year's Resolutions...reading, recording what you read and reading what your kids are reading are 3 good ones to consider!

Father's Day Week!

"Father!--to God himself we cannot give a holier name."
William Wordsworth

"Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope."
Bill Cosby

Two quotes from Tony Dungy's new book, Uncommon. If you are looking for a great gift for your dad or the dad of your kids, consider picking up a copy of this book. The subtitle is 'Finding Your Path to Significance'.

It's a good read for a man.

The house that cleans itself

How's that for a title?

Today I saw a friend reading a book with that title and I was so intrigued about the title that I asked her about it.

She was raving about the first few chapters. The idea is that you don't try to duplicate someone else's systems...instead you look at your home, your struggles with cleaning and organizing, and come up with a system that works for you. She said it is very practical.

Here is the online description:

The House That Cleans Itself is a true housekeeping guide for the housekeeping–impaired! It boldly takes on the reasons behind chronic messiness and why ordinary home–organization books won’t work. Using the methods of “horizontal thinking,” this book teaches readers how to set up a home so efficiently and logically that it seems to clean itself.

More than a how–to book, The House That Cleans Itself also looks at what God has to say about cleanliness and order, and how He can inspire order in every reader’s life in a fresh and unique way. For added fun, some of the tips Mindy uses come from research for her popular novels, The Trouble with Tulip, Blind Dates Can Be Murder, and Elementary, My Dear Watkins.

I personally haven't read it, but I think I will. The title alone has sold me :)

If you're interested you can order it online here.

Let us know if you read it!

Doing Hard Things

Barb and I recently came across a book titled: Do Hard Things by Alex and Brett Harris (two 19-year-old). They challenge teenagers to rebel against low expectations. You can check out their web site here: http://www.therebelution.com/dohardthings/

Here's an excerpt from their blog:

Our battle cry is just three words, but it's an explosive concept: Do Hard Things. That's it. And "do hard things" is a mentality. It's a mentality that flies right in the face of low expectations. The world says, "You're young, have fun!" It tells us to "obey your thirst" and "just do it." Or it tells us, "You're great! You don't need to exert yourself." But those kinds of mindsets sabotage character and competence.

Do Hard Things is just the opposite. It's how we build character and competence. It won't drop to meet the low expectations, it won't just do what comes easily, and it won't become complacent. It applies no matter who you are or what level you're on, because there's always something harder to do, something that will take you outside your comfort zone and cause you to grow.

As a Homemaker, and long past my teenage years, I'm challenged by the words Do Hard Things.

As marriages around me struggle, I'm challenged to do the hard thing: work through my marriage issues and conflicts because I'm committed to my spouse.

As people acquire mountains of debt and declare bankruptcy, I'm challenged to do the hard thing: be responsible, pay our bills, deal with the consequences of debt and live within our means.

As people walk out on relationships that are too tough to face, I'm challenged to communicate, forgive, ask questions, strive to understand, and love without measure.

As the media and the culture around us saturates our minds with instant gratification, I'm challenged to wait on God, pursue His best for my life, my family, my future.

I applaud Alex and Brett Harris for having the insight and maturity to encourage others to Do the Hard Things in life. As women striving to be wise, every day we are faced with opportunities to do things the easy way or the hard way.

As we explore this topic more in the coming days, I hope you'll share your thoughts and how you experience the joys and challenges of Doing Hard Things as a woman of God, Wife, Mother, Business woman or Homemaker.

Home Improvement...

A few years ago, a young mom asked me if I had a list of books I could recommend to her. She knew I was a big proponent of reading and wanted me to pass along what I had read. It was then that I realized that I couldn't recall what I had read off the top of my head! Oh, there were a few books that came to my mind, but I had to dig deep to come up with a many worthy titles. I was frustrated and embarrassed that I could be so dogmatic about something and yet so clueless when it came to the specifics.

Can I spare you this scenario in your life and encourage you to spend this Home Improvement weekend setting up a system to record what you read?

Write down what you read every month. Add to this list throughout the year and at the end of the year you will have a neat inventory of what you have put in your mind. Perhaps it will shed light on how your year went as well, because what you read is what fed your mind.

If you already do catalog what you read, maybe you are ready for a more complete summary of your books. Make a short book report after reading every book.

Example:

Name and Author of Book:
Month/Year read:
Number of Pages:
Where I heard about the book:
Did it meet my expectations:
Would I recommend this book to other women:
What are key points I would like to remember: (copy quotes, key thought, or page numbers you can refer back to)

Do this for every book you read, whether it is a no-brainer or a philosophical wonder...it will reveal to you what you are spending your time on as well as what you are learning.

Sounds like added effort, I know, but when a younger woman asks you someday what you have spent your life reading...you can hand her an overstuffed notebook, filled with book reviews that will not only be beneficial to her, but will have made you into the woman you have become!

Are you desperate?

Are you desperate for help in running your home?

I recently read Desperate Households: How to Restore Order and Harmony to Your Life and Home

The author, Kathy Peel, is known as America's Family Manager. What I love most about this book is that Kathy had to learn all the principles herself. She was not naturally a morning person, she ran late, her house was disorganized and messy, and she doesn't cook. It is so refreshing to read about someone who had the same struggles I do and know that with focused time and effort, I have great potential.

Kathy divides home managing into these seven categories:

• Home & Property--overseeing the maintenance and care of all tangible assets, including belongings, house and its surroundings, and your vehicles
• Food--meeting the family's daily food and nutritional needs of your family
• Family & Friends--dealing with relational responsibilities as a parent and spouse, and with extended family, friends, and neighbors
• Finances--managing the budget, bill-paying, saving, investing, and charitable giving
• Special Events--planning and coordinating occasions--birthdays, holidays, vacations, garage sales, family reunions, and celebrations--that fall outside one's normal routine
• Time & Scheduling--managing the family calendar and daily schedule; dispatching the right people to the right place at the right time with the right equipment
• Self-Management--caring for one's body, nurturing the mind and spirit

I felt no condemnation or guilt reading these pages. Instead I felt a desire to soak in all I could to begin making the necessary changes in my home to replace chaos with calm. It's definitely a work in progress and will always be a challenge for me!

It was encouraging to read that although I desire to have a Type A personality, I think God has given me a Type B personality - and that includes how I manage and run my home. I need to recognize that and learn to manage my home in a way that fits my style.

If you find yourself desperate from time to time, (or most of the time!), you may want to check this book out.

Disappointment With God...

The title of this book caught my attention! I was in a used book store and came upon an old copy of Disappointment With God by Philip Yancey. I love his style of writing and the hard topics he chooses to write about, so I bought the book for pennies and have it practically all underlined!

Is God Unfair?

Is God Silent?

Is God Hidden?

...all I can say is you have to read the book to find out how Yancey uses the Bible to answer these questions!

His excellent style of writing allows the reader to get caught up in his thought processes with interest and personal application. Here's a line I have marked in red, " In the beginning, the very beginning, there was no disappointment. Only joy."

I found myself reading small portions at a time because I wanted to see how it fit into my relationship with the Lord. Was I disappointed with God? Could I be? Could I work through some tough questions I had 'stuffed' to this point in my life?

This isn't a 'beach book', but it is one that will sharpen your faith, I think.

I loved reading it...now my challenge is to remember it!

The Glass Castle

A book I recommend for summer reading is The Glass Castle: A Memoir by Jeannette Walls. It would be a wonderful book to read on lazy summer afternoons or at the lake or as the sun sets at night.

The story is about Jeannette's childhood - a very unique and adventursome childhood. The Walls children grew up in poverty and traveled from city to city because neither parent could hold own a job. They learned how to survive in spite of the choices their parents made that were often not in their best interest.

It's a page-turning book that will draw out many emotions and make you question many decisions. As a reader I was encouraged to overcome obstacles in my own life and face challenges head on.

Although her childhood was incredibly dysfuntional, the author rose against all odds. It truly is a tale of survival and one that you will not soon forget.

I highly recommend it and would love to hear if you read it or have already read it!

Please share a summer book that you are reading....

The Heat Is On...So What Are You Reading?

I've heard it said that a healthy life is like a table with 4 legs. A table needs the 4 legs in order to balance correctly...and a healthy woman needs to attend to 4 areas in her life to stay balanced...her physical needs, her spiritual needs, her emotional needs and her mental needs.

I usually am more aware of my physical health in the summer as I try to exercise more and eat lighter. My emotional and spiritual needs are a daily exercise of discipline and focus...but my mental needs tend to slip abit in the summer as I am quick to head out and do something outdoors rather than hunker down and learn something.

So I make reading a top priority during the summer to keep my mental state in good repair!

I just finished reading The Great Starvation Experiment by Todd Tucker. It is a true story about men who volunteered for an experiment to see what the affects of starvation has on a body. All the men were Conscientious Objectors during World War II. Dr. Ancel Keys headed up this experiment for the government to find out how to rebuild countries that had suffered so much through starvation during the war. It is a fascinating book and a fairly easy read.

What did I take away from it? What a remarkable body I have! What extreme conditions a body can live through...and recover. The volunteers were at their optimum weight going into the experiment and all of them lost about 25% of this weight during the experiment. Yet they survived and went on to become very driven and successful men in the years that followed.

This book was recommended to me by my son who is getting his Master's in nutrition. I hesitated abit when he first suggested it...but it proved to be a very informational and intriguing book to read.

What books are you reading? Are you keeping your life in balance by stretching your mental capacities this summer? Share your list with us....and read a book that you normally wouldn't reach for and feed your mind.

LOVE That Book!

I could have several long novels written by now if all my journal writing was ever published. I was a journal writer way back when journaling wasn't even fashionable or even heard of!

I wrote when I was angry.

I wrote when I was entralled.

I wrote to remember.

I wrote to sort things out.

But most of what I wrote was detached. I never considered myself a writer, I just wanted to remember, so I wrote things down. I wrote in journals, on the back of napkins, in my Bible, along side a picture, in notebooks and on calendars. I was lacking a plan as to what I was writing and where I would put my words.

Reading Love Letters to a Child encompasses all the different kinds of writings I did and channels them into a legacy that I wish I could point to with all my writings. The quick notes, the words of affirmation, the description of an activity together can all be captured for the writer to review and the reader to cherish by following Tracey Finck suggestions.

Tracey says to write what is true and what is positive. It took me a long time to realize when I wrote that way, my writing really taught me.

Love Letters to a Child is the perfect book for women. Whether you are a writer or not. Whether you are a mom or not. Every woman can and should speak truth and goodness into other peoples' lives and this book will inspire you to do just that!

Love Letters

For Mother's Day this year I gave Barb Love Letters to a Child: A Resource for Parents and Grandparents. I had been hanging onto it for about 6 months waiting to give it to her. I was so excited because I knew she would love it - and she does!

With the arrival of her grandson, this book is a fantastic resource to encourage Barb to write letters to Jonathan.

It is also a wonderful resource for mom/parents with children of any age. I have given it to numerous moms and each one has loved it!

The description on this book says: Writing a love letter to your child takes less than 10 minutes and is an easy and effective way to:
• Affirm your child’s uniqueness as a creation of God
• Bond with your child
• Celebrate and encourage character growth
• Document milestones in your child’s spiritual journey
• Establish a family legacy

This book doesn't tell readers to write lengthy letters to children/grandchildren that record perfectly all their activities and all your dreams and aspirations for them. It's about getting quick thoughts and stories on paper for children to read and know they are loved.

What a privilege to be able to affirm the little ones God has placed in your life today!

A simple challenge

As we kick off the month of March, I will be sharing some things I have been reading, hearing and learning....all having to do with the topic of simplicity. Simplicity in our schedules, our finances, our lifestyles, our homes, our relationships, and our sense of well being.

What do you think of when you hear the word 'simplicity'? Does it sounds like a soft sigh of relief? Does it make you think of a breath of fresh air? Do you imagine relaxation and peace?

I imagine that we each define simplicity in different ways. One of the words I would use to define simplicity is freedom. It may be hard to make the connection between simplicity and freedom, but in the coming days you'll begin to understand how simplicity and freedom go hand in hand.

I recently read a book called Living Simply: Choosing Less in a World of More by Joanne Heim. It's written specifically for busy wives and moms who desire contentment, who long for the kind of abundant life Christ talks about, and a better quality of life that is not filled with chaos and consumption.

I think this statement from the book sums up the way many of us are living: "I've found that living a simple life is more than just getting rid of stuff. Stuff is part of it, for sure. But it's also about full calendars, schedules, commitments, activities, and to-do lists. Like Thanksgiving dinner, a lot of it is good - nice things, people we enjoy, and activities we really do want to do. But we're too full - stuffed, in fact - and we feel a little sick knowing we just can't handle all those things our lives are full of."

This is a big topic to address, so today I want to start with one small challenge. Joanne mentions in her book how empty days on our calendars are rare and instead of relaxing and enjoying them, we use them to catch up on everything we've fallen behind on. So our 'empty days' become full and we don't take the time to rest.

My challenge to you is to look at your calendar in the coming week or two and find a day that doesn't have anything scheduled. Mark it off. Write Me Day or Open Day or whatever you need to do to keep from scheduling appointments, outings, etc. Hopefully this day isn't too many weeks down the road. I challenge you to keep it empty. Maybe it will be a day to relax with your family or maybe a day for you to relax on your own. It's not a day to clean, run errands and catch up on life. It's a day to rest, to relax and to have the freedom to do whatever you feel like doing when those 24 hours rolls around.

If you are inspired to take me up on this challenge, comment below with the date you are blocking off on your calendar. I'll pray for you on that date as you take this one small step toward living simply.

Mrs. Mike

What is one to do when it is freezing cold outside in Minnesota?

Read a book of course!

And Barb and I have just the recommendation for you: Mrs. Mike by Benedict and Nancy Freedman

I found this review and it summarizes the book well:

Mrs. Mike is the love story of Katherine Mary, a young Irish girl from Boston, and Sergeant Mike of the Canadian Mounties, under whose supervision falls all of the great Canadian wilderness. Katherine Mary comes from a world of privilege and comfort. When she moves with her husband to the North Pole region, let's say it took a bit of adjustment. It's a romance, an adventure, a coming-of-age, a tragedy, and a history. Give it to your niece or daughter or granddaughter. Give it to your sister, your friend, your neighbor. I guarantee, they'll all love it.

This classic tale set in the Canadian wilderness, portrays a marriage of uniqueness like no other. Barb and I got it from our local library. I highly recommend you read it...from the perspective of woman, wife, homemaker and mother.

Please share with us if you read it and what you thought!

Last Minute Gift Idea...

Are you scrambling for one more family gift? Pick up a copy of The Quilt Maker's Gift., by Jeff Brumbeau and Gail de Marcken. It is a short, COLORFUL book that will capture the interest of everyone and the story line couldn't be better for Christmas. I won't give it away...but you will be GRATEFUL that you shared this treasure with your family during this time of giving and receiving. It may become a regular for you to read around the Christmas tree each year.

Unwed...pregnant...mother of Jesus?

I am still amazed at how the life of Jesus came to be...through a young teenage girl?

That is why I highly recommend reading Unafraid by Francine Rivers. It's part of the The Lineage of Grace Series. Each book focuses on the life of a woman in the Bible. The other books profile Ruth, Rahab, Tamar, and Bathsheba. They are all excellent. And, best of all, they are small books so they are a quick read.

Unafraid presents a unique picture of an unwed pregnant teenager...and what it must have been like from Mary's perspective. It is a wonderful book to read as we head into Christmas. The author takes plenty of liberties, of course, but it definitely challenges the way you think about and view this young girl as the mother of Jesus!

So take a break from the shopping, curl up and allow yourself the pleasure of a good read. If you've already read it, or if you do, leave a comment and let us know what you think of the book.

Happy reading....

How Do You Read A Book?

That question came up at our Homemakers meeting on Monday! Curious, huh?! We are trying to each read a book of our choice every month and then share a short synopsis at our meeting. This month we were sidetracked by one gal who had 'post-it' notes coming out every which way from her book. She obviously liked her book. She explained that there was a'system to her notes'. The notes sticking out of the top of her book meant she needed to go back and 'do' something that was suggested on each page. The notes sticking out of the side of her book reminded her that she needed to re-read or remember some portion of that page and the notes coming out of the bottom of her book were on pages that had some information she wanted to share with her husband. How clever! Now that is truly getting the most out of reading.
I often will turn down the corners of the pages I read if there is something important on that page that I want to review. When I am done with the book, I go back and copy the important points from those pages onto the extra pages in the front and/or back of the book. I can easily refer to my 'cliff notes' that way when I am sharing about the book to a friend or for my own refresher.
Are you a reader? Any hints you can share about your reading habits. If you aren't a reader, maybe these tips will help. Grab a good book and enjoy your weekend.