Sweet Stuff

How about something completely different to finish off this week?!

Here's with a great summer recipe,

Easy, No-bake Chocolate Oat Bars

3/4 cup butter
1/2 cup packed brown sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla
3 cups oats
1 cup semisweet chocolate chips
3/4 cup peanut butter

Melt butter. Stir in brown sugar and vanilla. Mix in oats and cook 2-3 mins over low heat. Press half of mixture into the bottom of 9x9 pan (greased). Reserve the other half for the topping

Melt chocolate chips and peanut butter in saucepan over low heat. Stir until smooth. Pour over the crust in pan and spread evenly.

Crumble the remaining oat mixture over the chocolate layer. Cover and refrigerate 2-3 hours. They cut best at room temperature. (I have doubled them for a 9x13 pan)

Remember: A balanced diet is 2 cookies in each hand!

Final Words

In the Bible, in Titus 2, the older woman is instructed to train younger women...

It doesn't say the older woman needs to know it all. It doesn't say the older woman knew it all when she was a younger woman! I think the older woman is instructed to train younger women so they both continue to grow and learn and continue to develop a relationship with Christ and others.

I wasted many a year on futile things but God was patient with me. What I've been sharing with you this week is insight I wished I had grasped when I was a young mom. I was busy and distracted. It was easier to 'do' for God than to 'be' with Him daily.

I would like to complete my thoughts of the last few days with just a couple of things I wished I had known when my Homemaker friend asked if she should play it safe and not speak up about her faith in Christ. I would answer:

1. Spend time with God daily. How? I don't know. How do you spend time with anyone that you want a quality relationship with? You'll find a way if you really see that you NEED God daily.

2. BE with God all throughout the day. Christ lives in you, be in constant communication with Him. Lose confidence in your own efforts...believe that God is able where you are not.

3. Focus on being what you ought to be and God will give you plenty to do. God is not interested in what you can do for Him; He is far more interested who you are. Pride motivates us to do.

4. Be very mindful of your friends. Iron sharpens iron. Be sure the women you have in your life on a constant basis are iron! Not all friends will sharpen you! Make sure they are living with the realization that Christ is living in them and is empowering them daily.


Focus on these 4 things and you won't have to worry whether you step out in faith and then get hit with tough stuff in life. Tough stuff will happen either way... growing your relationship with God means you will have the one resource of strength that will never 'leave you or forsake you'.

Elephants and Mosquitoes!

A pastor told me once that he thought that the average Christian dealt with the stampede of the elephants better that the onslaught of mosquitoes.

What he meant was when we are face with the tough stuff in life we often shut down all options and go to God. He is there to help when trials come.

When the daily mosquitoes bother us we tend to swat and apply lotion, but it is all done in our own effort. God isn't called upon to deal with mosquitoes.

But that isn't what God intended.

If Christ is living in me, He sees the mosquitoes.

He feels the mosquitoes.

He can deal with the irritation and often irradicate them, but we are usually so used to being in control, we just put up with the problems.

We also are a 'chip off the old block'. Eve taught us to seek to be wise...in our own efforts. She reached out for the tree that would make her 'like God'. So too, we have a natural tendency to be our own god for everyday living.

Why don't we seek God's help in the little irritations of life? Why don't we consult with Him when we have daily decisions to make? Why do we muddle along in relationships and be satisfied if they just 'look good.'

Pride.

The original sin.

One aspect of pride is an independent spirit. It is saying to God, whether consciously or subconsciously, "I don't need You."

Every sin can ultimately be traced back to pride. Pride says "I have a right to what I want; I am what matters."

Then we lead our lives controlling as much as we can including how we please God. We begin 'doing' and 'striving' and making our lives look like we are depending on God while all the while we try to control the details of our lives. It's safe. It's predictable. It's pride. Life will come crashing down when the tough stuff happens if all our days are orchestrated by us.


Bob George, in his book Complete in Christ says a person can be a 'theoretical Christian" and live as a 'practical atheist'.

"A practical atheist is someone who, regardless of his doctrinal beliefs, approaches life as if he were the only resource available."

My original Homemakers group may not have questioned stepping out with our faith if we dealt with the 'mosquitoes' in our life with Christ in us. If we had spent more time seeing God's activity in our daily life we all would have had the confidence to know that God would be there for us when life got difficult.

Life in general is hard...life as a follower of Jesus means we have the best resource available in good times and tough times...Christ in us.

The Tough Stuff

I think all of us realize it's not a matter of IF we will have tough stuff happen to us in life, it's just a matter of WHEN we will get bowled over by hard circumstances.

Whether we are Followers of Christ or not, tough stuff comes into everyone's life in some way, at some time. Life is hard.
I think there was a time in my life when I was hoping I could tiptoed around and avoid times of stress and heartbreak. Those were the days when I was trying to control my life.

Galations 2:20 changed my perspective:

"I have been crucified with Christ, I myself no longer lives, but Christ lives in me. So I live my life in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me."

Christ didn't just die so I could have eternal life, He died and rose again so He could live with me daily. I no longer had to be fearful that I couldn't handle all that might come into my life, I just needed to spend time with God and know Him so well that I could truly believe that I was able to "do all things through Him who made me strong.''

As Heidi said, "He is my portion"
She can say this because she has a deep and abiding relationship with Christ. She can trust His promises.

I like how the Message translation puts it: "I am no longer driven to impress God. Christ lives in me. The life you see me living is not mine, but it is lived by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave His life for me."

I don't need to prove to God I can handle the tough stuff. I don't need to prove to myself or others that I can handle the tough stuff. I can't...but God in me can.

Sounds so simple, doesn't it when it is written down in a few sentences, so why don't we draw upon the fact that Christ is living in us all the time?

Ponder that question and I'll address that tomorrow!

Tough Stuff

I belonged to a Homemakers group when I was a young mom. About 15 moms met once a month and we talked about most everything. I remember one intense discussion when one of the moms voiced what I think all of us were thinking, but didn't have the nerve to speak up.

She said something like, "Sometimes I think it would be safer if I just didn't go out on a limb for God. I am scared that if I really take a stand with my faith, God will test me and I will just be asking for hard times"

I remember thinking at the time that maybe that made sense.

I also remember none of us responded with a good answer.

Are we to live 'under the radar' so maybe God will not test us too heavily?

I was reminded of my friend's statement when I read Heidi's postings last week. The first time I met Heidi, I was blown away by her strong stand for the Lord. Her desire to follow Him and know Him has been such a focus of her life and it is just a part of who she is. Did she set herself up for tough times since she verbalized her faith so boldly?

If my Homemaker friend made that same statement today, I think I might have an answer that would have been good for me to have known as a young mom.

Jesus said, "I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full" (John 10:10). That doesn't sound like we are to be living 'under the radar' to avoid having tough stuff in our lives. But so many women I talk to today say they aren't really living an abundant life whether they have tough issues or not. "The Christian life is just hard."

I think that the Christian Life is hard today because to us it is a performance...to the people of the New Testament it was an experience.

If we have to 'perform' each day to 'live the Christian Life' it will not only be hard...it will be impossible.

When my friend asked if she should live a safe life without taking a stand for the Lord, I think she was fearful that she wouldn't be able to perform and live a Christian life well if the road got too hard.

What I didn't understand then was that the good news of the gospel wasn't just that Christ came to die for me, but that He came to give His life to me.

Romans 5:10 says, "If, when we were God's enemies, we were reconciled to Him through the death of His Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved by His life!"

God isn't here to test me, He is here to live His life through me.

I think I will talk about this abit more this week. It may not be as fun as some of the topics we cover in this blog...but I think it may be one of the more important ones we discuss.

My Portion

Driving home from the cabin on Sunday night we noticed something a little different with our daughter. Almost immediately my heart sank. I was thinking to myself, "Is this when this disorder becomes real in our family?" Not just a diagnosis, but something we actually see symptoms from. Because NF is a progressive disorder, we do not know when or if she will experience the effects. As a mom I am left without any control over the situation. On Monday I called her clinic and waited for them to call me back. The clinic was closed and I had to wait until Tuesday for her doctor to respond. I felt that knot of worry in my stomach. I was praying that night and asking the Lord for this to be nothing. I told Him over and over that I my heart is not strong enough to deal with some of the consequences of NF. I told Him I will never be ready to walk down that road. On Tuesday morning I was listening to Shane Bernard's song called My Portion. Here are the words...

Whom have I in Heaven but You
I desire none but You
My heart and flesh may fail but You
Are the Strength of my heart, the strength of my heart

You are my portion forever
You are my portion forever
You are my portion forever
You are my portion forever

Did you see what I heard from the Lord that morning? He is the strength of my heart. I am right in saying that apart from Him my heart is not strong enough to deal with pain. I need Him. I really, really need Him. He is my portion.

Thankfully our doctor gave us great news on Tuesday afternoon that this symptom did not appear to be anything NF related. I praise the Lord for that. I also praise the Lord that in the midst of an uncertain time for me, God still assured my heart that He is with me. I am sure there are going to be more times of uncertainty but I will continue to turn to Jesus. He is my portion.

When our daughter was first diagnosed with Neurofibromatosis (also known as NF) we went to a symposium to hear about other people's experience with the disorder. It was at a local library and it seemed like a really good way to gain more understanding. Although we knew it was a good event to attend, we were honestly dreading it. Upon our arrival we noticed the sign on the door....Children's Tumor Foundation. I instantly had a giant lump in my throat. I honestly didn't want to go in. I just kept thinking how in the world are we now connected with a group called the Children's Tumor Foundation. I feel like I have heard stories of people dealing with tumors or disabilities but it has never hit close to home. Now we were the parents of a child with NF and in a few minutes I would have to introduce myself and say that my sweet daughter has this condition. I felt like saying it out loud to a group of people would make it that much more real in our lives...and it did. We walked away from that meeting with a mix of emotions. Of course I had tears. Tears for what is unknown in her future. Tears that we now pray every night against the growth of tumors. Tears for any possible pain she might endure. But I also left encouraged. I had found a group of people who had walked the road I am now on. I saw people with NF who were doing wonderfully. I found out about research that will hopefully find a cure. I found support.

At this point Claire shows no real complications of NF. She is a normal, healthy, and might I add darling little girl. For this we are so, so, so thankful and we pray that this is the case her entire life. My husband and I could have let our fear or grief stop us from meeting others in the Children's Tumor Foundation. I am so glad that it didn't. My encouragement for you is to find support when you encounter hard things. Seek people out who have walked down the road you are on. I have found that although sharing your heart with someone can hurt, the encouragement is well worth it.

Welcome to Holland

This week I am going to blog a little bit about our experience receiving the news that our daughter has Neurofibromatosis. I have debated whether or not to share things about NF on this blog because I don't want these entries to seem like a big downer. However, millions of moms out there experience disorders or diseases that maybe they wouldn't have picked for their child but they now face the reality that this is what it is. She was diagnosed in December and our world was most definitely changed. My husband and I went to a symposium to gain more information about this disorder we had never heard about before. They opened the meeting by sharing this poem by Emily Perl Kingsley. It was written to describe what it is like to find out your child has special needs. Even if this doesn't pertain to you, I think it gives you a really good perspective on what other people experience.

Welcome to Holland Poem

Living with less...

so your family has more is the name of the current book I am reading. It is written by Jill and Mark Savage. Jill is the founder and CEO of Hearts at Home, an organization that encourages, educates and equips mothers. You can check out her website at http://www.hearts-at-home.org/. I bought this book a few months back, and it has been sitting on my nightstand waiting to be opened. Well, this week I finally took the time to open it. With the economy the way it is and with friends losing their jobs and being forced to live with less, I thought it was a good time to check this book out. I am only a few chapters in but feel that it asks a lot of great questions and just makes you think about the choices, we as mothers, are making everyday. Here are a few paragraphs that I thought were worth sharing…

Maybe you’ve thought or even said aloud:

• I’m tired of living with constant stress.
• I feel disconnected from my spouse.
• I feel disconnected from my kids…
• I just wish our family could sit around the dinner table each night laughing and talking about our day.
• I can’t do this anymore: work, day care, soccer practice, quick meals and shallow relationships.
• There are not enough hours in the day.
• There has to be a simpler way of doing things.

If you have had those thoughts, you are not alone. We all want the best for our kids, but sometimes we lose sight of what “best” just might be. We want to give them more, but we’ve allowed the world to define “more” as things that money can buy. We long to give them every opportunity possible, but we’re missing out on being a family because there are just too many opportunities. We’re focused on providing tangibles-things that money can buy-when what most of us really long for are intangibles-things money can’t buy. The pace of life that many of us are traveling at is actually hurting rather than helping our families.

I love the line about the world defining “more” as things money can buy. I will admit I think that…good food for thought…our children just mostly want our time and attention.

One more section I would like to share with you is a few paragraphs where they ask a series of questions about three particular areas of life that we can intentionally downsize…

Less money-Are our financial challenges really about the high cost of living or the high cost of the way we choose to live? Where can we make different choices in our income and expenses that allow us to find the “more” we’re actually looking for?

Less stress- for may of us. Life is lots of activity, an emphasis on overachievement and accomplishments, and moving up the ladder of success. But what if we defined success differently? What if we looked at accomplishment through a different lens? What if we made countercultural choices that actually resulted in less stress?

Less activities- The world offers parents and children so many opportunities. But just because something is offered doesn’t make it a wise choice for our children, our family, or us. What if we learned to say no more often? What if we created some healthy boundaries that kept us home and focused on family more?

Like I stated before, I have only read the first few chapters, but I love the premise so far. I like reading books that challenge my thinking by asking thought-provoking questions. Books that make me stop and look at my life and make sure that the choices I am making on a daily basis match up with my long-term goals for my family in general. My prayer for you is that you will learn to live with less so that you can enjoy the family that God has blessed you with-happy Friday!

Organization Motivation

A friend and I met earlier this week and she shared with me about this closet that had been haunting her since they moved into her new house. She wanted to organize it but with two small children she was afraid to pull out all the stuff during naptime only to be half done when they woke and by bedtime she was too exhausted to tackle it...yet it was driving her crazy. I am not sure if I was a very good friend at this particular moment, but I looked at her and said, "It will probably take you less than an hour to actually clean it, and you will feel a load lifted if you just do it." I would like to take credit for this advice, but I remember reading in some organization book that the number one reason we don't take the time to organize something is because we "think" it will take us forever so we don't do it. In reality if we would just tackle it head-on it usually takes way less time than we thought, and our minds are able to concentrate on more important things in life. My friend emailed me the next day saying thanks for the motivation and that she now had a beautifully organized closet...so today I am going to try to motivate you. Think of that one project that has been hanging over your head and just do it...you may be surprised at how quickly it gets done and how much better you feel...happy organizing!

Allowance

As I stated yesterday, we decided to keep chores and allowance separate from each other. We really agreed with Dave Ramsey’s view on that there are jobs within the home that just need to be done because you are part of a family and that allowance should be used to teach your child about the management of money.

Every month we give Abigail a $10 allowance. She must put $1 in savings and $1 in giving. We support Operation Christmas Child every Christmas and she usually saves all her giving to go out and purchase items to put in her shoeboxes. It is a fun charity because she can relate to getting presents, and it is fun for her to be able to choose toys that she would like to give to another child her age.

A few years ago we opened up a savings account for her and told her that whatever she put away in savings, we would match that amount. We are trying to encourage saving as much as possible.

We then allow her to spend her money as she chooses, giving her advice along the way, but the final decision is hers. When she runs out of money she must wait to buy something until the next allowance. I must admit she does an awesome job. When she is out of money, she will often not want to run to the store with me for fear of finding a toy that she doesn’t have the money for…we really feel that using money to teach good habits now is a very effective way to teach these skills. Thank you Dave Ramsey! We will more than likely start giving Maddie an allowance sometime soon as well. She is almost 4 and a half and has just started asking questions. I believe we started Abigail around this age.

We also allow our girls (mainly Abigail because of Maddie’s age) to do other jobs for money if they are interested in earning extra. Examples of jobs she has done are washing the car, picking up sticks in the yard, weeding small areas of our yard…jobs that she is able to do that help us out. We agree upon a set amount before the work begins so that she can take as long as she would like to complete the job. It is usually only a few dollars because of her age. These jobs are a win-win for both of us. I would love to hear your thoughts on allowance…have a great day!

Children and chores

I was struggling with what to start out with this week when I opened an email from Stacy suggesting I blog about chores and allowance…what a great idea…so here is my two cents worth on chores…(I will share about allowance tomorrow)

Jeff and I decided early on that we didn’t want to have chores and allowance connected. I think it was Dave Ramsey who inspired this line of thinking and it made sense to us. Basically doing age appropriate chores are just part of being part of a family…making your bed, keeping your room clean, brushing your teeth, setting the table…are all things we each do as members of a family and should not have monetary value. It is everyone doing their part to help our home run smoothly. While it is easy to say this…we needed a way to help remind our girls each day what their responsibilities were. So I made these adorable chore charts for our hallway.

On the top ten circles there is room to write each child’s chores. Then the bottom ten circles are little magnets that the girls move to cover the chore once it is done for the day. Then at night all the magnets are moved back to the bottom. This chart worked for about the first two weeks, then we realized that, while cute, it wasn’t very functional for us. My girl’s needed something more hands-on and a little more in your face for lack of a better term. I just happened upon Stacy Julian’s blog and copied her idea of a small clipboard with a list of chores for each child.

I set them out on the table every morning and they check off each chore after it is completed. So far it has worked really well of us. The girl’s love carrying around the clipboard and leaving little notes for me at the bottom of them.

One other thing that I would like to stress is to give yourself a little slack…if something isn’t working for you and your family, change it. Something may work for a while and then become more of a burden. Remember why you are doing something. I desire to teach my girls to do their part in our family…if I get caught up in the cute chore charts I have missed the point…I think as mothers we often look around and think we should be doing things just like someone else. Sometimes that works, other times it becomes a burden. Remember to think of the purpose, keep the end goal in mind…how you get there doesn’t matter as much as actually getting there. I would love to hear your ideas of keeping track of daily chores…you know me and ideas…

Pancake powder

A few months ago Betsy and I heard the author of Growing Grateful Kids share some key points from her book. We thoroughly enjoyed Susie's talk and both purchased her book on the spot.

One of her main points is that you cannot impart what you do not possess. You can not pass on gratefulness to your children if you do not have an attitude of gratefulness yourself.

Susie gives the example of having many medical bills and very little money. She recalls walking into her kitchen and only having pancake mix to prepare for her kids. Susie decided to make a very large pancake for her three boys, stuck a candle in the middle and made it a fun memory for all of them.

Susie chose gratefulness. Her children were not aware that there wasn't money to buy food. Susie took her role as a mom - provider, protector of their hearts and minds, role model - so seriously that she made pancake powder into a family celebration.

I have thought often of that story recently. While we have so much more food than a box of pancake mix, I desire to protect my young children from the realities of life right now. I don't want them to feel the stress and tension that comes with unemployment. I don't want them to experience fear or insecurity.

I want them to know love, comfort, stability and joy - even amidst the unknown future. So much of that rests on my shoulders. My words, actions, body language, facial expressions...my children can see, hear and sense what is happening around them. 

So I have to choose. Every day I have to choose an attitude of gratefulness. It's up to me to choose to make pancake powder into sweet, sweet memories.

Grace

This evening I got home at 6:10. The kids and I had a long commute home from my in-laws after being gone since late morning. 

My husband was home most of that time and I had some expectations when I walked in the door. Like the dishwasher emptied and some food warmed up for dinner. Maybe some time spent on a house project or two.

Without going into unnecessary details, I'll just say that my attitude was not a positive one once I got home. In my head I was calculating all I could have accomplished in six hours home alone without any children. I was creating a mighty good argument in my head.

But my husband told me he had had a rough day and was feeling very discouraged about being unemployed. So I kept my mouth shut. I tried to understand what it would be like to be home when you'd rather be working and supporting your family. I probably wouldn't feel like tackling home projects either.

Nearly two hours later I walked into our bedroom and saw a card on my pillow. It was a card from my husband thanking me for supporting him during this difficult time.

I felt a big lump in my throat as I read the card and silently whispered "thank you" to God that I had chosen to give my husband a little grace today rather than the attitude I had wanted to give him when I got home.

I don't write this to say, "Look at what a great wife I am." I write this because it's times like these that I am so thankful for the grace God has given me.

I don't know how it feels to be let go from a job. I don't know what it's like being the sole provider for a family of four. I don't understand the stress and pressure that comes with desperately seeking to find another job.

But I understand grace. I've experienced it. And now I can offer it to a husband who has given me grace so freely, willingly and without any strings attached.

Unemployment: good for me?

As some of you may know, my husband lost his job almost a month ago.

Each week we are learning what that means for our family of four. As the clothes-buyer, grocery-shopper, food-prepper, coupon-clipper, sale-searcher and gift-giver for our family, I feel a lot of responsibility to reduce our spending as significantly as possible.

When Ryan and I were first married, I had a budget of $50 a week for groceries. I would take my coupons and my calculator to the grocery store, and I would add up my purchases as I went. I did my best to stick to under $50. 

Now it's not so much about sticking to a budget as it is about spending as little as possible...because how do you set a grocery budget when unemployment only covers your mortgage and health insurance? There's not much left for groceries!

However, I have hungry mouths to feed so there's a few things I'm doing to try and be as responsible and wise as I can in this season of unemployment (hopefully it's a very short season).

I'm reading articles, blogs and anything I come across that has suggestions on how to get more bang for your buck when it comes to food. There are plenty of sites that offer budget-friendly meal ideas and I'm trying out some of them or keeping the ones I already have in my recipe collection at the top of my menu-planning.

I'm trying to make recipes that include rice, pasta or potatoes rather than those that are just meat-based. Everything I read about preparing economical meals, suggests doing this because meat is expensive.

I signed up for coupons online from a local grocer (https://emailsignup.cub.com/). I'm trying to pay attention to the double coupon days at another local grocery store so I can get even greater discounts on my groceries.

We got a coupon in the mail to receive the local Sunday paper for only $1.25 a week. If I double just a couple coupons inside each week, I can easily save more money than what we're spending on the paper.

I'm also learning to shop what's on sale. In the past I have certainly purchased items on sale. But now I really pay attention to what's on sale and that's the fruit or meat I purchase for the week(s). And I've been buying many more generic foods (canned and boxed items) than I have in the past.

I'm not gonna lie. It's hard. I have my preferences when it comes to the brands and type of food I like to eat and prefer to prepare. I'd rather not have to take the time searching, making lists, cutting coupons, going to multiple stores, and getting generic items.

But it's just not an option. I do not want to come out of this season with loads of debt.

And you know what? This isn't just good for the pocketbook, it's good for me. It's forcing me to choose wisely. It's encouraging me to be aware of mindless spending. It's challenging me to stretch myself in an area where I don't want to be stretched.

Yes, it seems unemployment just might be good for me...in so many ways.

Hymns

Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face.
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
in the light of His glory and grace.

I love, love, love this song. I grew up hearing my mom sing it to me and now I sing it to my girls. Some of my fondest memories are when my mom would sit on my bed and sing me to sleep. I can even think of times in high school when I would be struggling with something that my mom would lay in my bed and sing me hymns. I received such comfort from the words she sang. This is something I want to pass down to my children. It is my prayer that someday the words that I sing to my girls will be much more than just a lullaby. I want them to know who it is that I am singing about and that every word that I sing is true.

Nook

Yesterday was my birthday and my husband bought me some new accessories for my favorite electronic device... the Barnes and Noble Nook. Upon opening these gifts, I was immediately convinced that I need to share with you some of the reasons I love the Nook. If you enjoy reading, I would highly recommend this little e-reader. First, let me tell you that I am not a fan of book shelves. I always feel like mine appear cluttered and unorganized which drives me crazy. Well, with the Nook all of my books are on my little device. No more need for bookshelves. Second, I love that any book is available to me at the simple touch of a button. I can shop for books in the comfort of my own home and even download a sample of them before choosing to purchase the book. Heavenly! Third, I can change the font size at any time in any book. This is helpful because I used to prefer reading books that are in large print when I am on the treadmill. Now, I can just change the font before running and change it back when I am done. And finally, books can be purchased at a discounted price. Hooray for saving money on books!

I have to tell you that this is not a tool you would want to use if you love to highlight or make notes in the margin. The Nook does have highlighting capabilities but I have found it not as handy. For that reason, I do not use my Nook if I am reading in a book club. It is easier to actually have a hard copy of the book for moments like those. However, if you love reading and you find yourself running out of room on your shelves, then the Nook is for you. :) Happy reading!

You are probably wondering who is that adorable girl in this picture. Well, let me tell you. It is my younger sister Jill and on Friday we celebrated her wedding. It was a beautiful wedding and believe me she was a stunning bride. :)

As I stood on the stage on Friday, I kept watching my parents. Thinking about how this is their third and final daughter to be married off. I was thinking about what they must be feeling. Because my kids are so little now, I honestly can't even begin to picture what that day would be like as a parent. A true mix of emotions I am sure. Happiness that your child is an adult who has fallen in love but also a little sad that you are no longer really parenting them in the same way. Your role as a mom still remains but looks very different.

That got me thinking about life right now and how my role is technically changing so frequently. Just this week my oldest daughter has decided that she no longer wants my help climbing stairs. She has decided she wants to do it and I just stand there to watch. My youngest daughter has started crawling and she loves to be on the ground exploring. She isn't as content to snuggle in my lap anymore and again I am left to watch. I celebrate these little steps of independence with pride but still have a little sense of sadness in how quickly children grow. This feeling is probably a similar to how my parents felt on Friday night.

As a way to document my child's accomplishments and my feelings as a mom, I journal. I have a separate journal for both of my girls and I write in them whenever I feel like I want to be sure to remember something or when I feel like someday they will relate to what I am feeling. Sometimes it is once during the month and other times it has been more frequent. Sometimes I just let them know how much they are loved and other times I use it as a way to write out a prayer for them. When they are older I will continue to write in these journals. They will be able to look at them whenever they would like and when they leave my home, they can take it with them. Someday, if my girls have children, I hope this will be a way to jog my memory on how it feels to be a young mom and also allow my girls to see that I went through all of the same emotions parenting them. More than anything I hope that it will be another tool used to introduce them to a relationship with Jesus and used to show them how incredibly loved they have been from the very start.

Why Men Shouldn't Write Advice Columns!

(A male client gave this to me...enjoy!)



Dear John,

I hope you can help me. The other day, I set off for work, leaving my husband in the house watching TV. My car stalled, and then it broke down about a mile down the road, and I had to walk back to get my husband's help. When I got home, I couldn't believe my eyes. He was in our bedroom with the neighbor's daughter!

I am 32, my husband is 34 and the neighbor's daughter is 19. We have been married for 10 years. When I confronted him, he broke down and admittd they had been having an affair for the past six months. He won't go to counseling, and I'm afraid I am a wreck and need advice urgently. Can you please help?

Sincerely,

Sheila



Dear Sheila,

A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the vacuum pipes and hoses on the intake manifold and also check all grounding wires. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the injectors.

I hope this helps,

John



(credit given to Steve Sanderson, Gilbert, SC)

Balance

At the end of Homemakers this year, Betsy briefly summarized a topic we had been discussing throughout the year, "What makes a mom GOOD?'

When I was a young mom I often heard that so & so was very talented in music and she made a good mom. Someone else was very creative and she would be a good mom. It seemed like certainly qualities made a good mom, but if I didn't have those qualities, did that make me a bad mom?

I decide to pursue the question, "What makes a mom good?" and then proceeded to figure out what I could do, or learn to be good in those areas.

For example, I found that listening to my kids made me good. So I put that on my list to develop.

Loving my kids' dad made me good, so that went on my list.

Learning to be a friend to my girlfriends made me good.

The list got quite long as I asked myself what else it would take to make me good as a mom.

It really was just being intentional in many areas of life that I needed to pay more attention to. If I had not asked myself that question, I am not sure I would have developed in many areas and skills

One area I shared with Homemakers was the area of balance. I found what makes a mom good when she is finding balance in her life is to be ok with being off-balance when necessary. Let me explain.

Think of yourself balancing on a big exercise ball. In order to stay on top of that ball you need to stay in constant motion. To keep your balance, you need to tilt one way or the other to keep you balanced. In life, I think you need to sway quite abit from time to time to stay balanced.

Unexpected interruptions and life changes can throw you a curve, but so can everyday demands. A mom who is good is a woman who is pursuing a life that is commited to knowing God...and she sees life from that vantage point. She realizes that it is not all about her.

There is a quiet confidence that comes from being ok with being off-balance, provided that being off balance comes because of life circumstances and changes, not just self-induced upsets! Being off-balance is a time to identify priorities.

Learning how to be off-balance at time leads to 'inner beauty' I think. A mom is good...or can become good when she realizes that being off-balance is a time to trust God. In the big and small things of life.