A homemade favorite from long ago

All Recipes has a link to budget-friendly recipes for under $10. One of them is a tuna noodle casserole. It reminded me of the casserole my mom used to make growing up. It is definitely a winter-in-Minnesota kind of dish. It was quick, easy and went a long way to feed a family of five. I don't eat tuna normally because I don't care for mayo, but I loved this casserole growing up. The original recipe may not be the healthiest, but by altering a few of the ingredients or adding some extra veggies, you can spruce it up in no time. Serve with a lettuce or fruit salad.

Tuna Casserole
2 cups cooked egg noodles
2 cans cream of celery soup (use Healthy Request - 98% less fat and less sodium)
1 cup milk
2 cans tuna, drained
1 can peas or 1-2 cups frozen peas
salt and pepper to taste
1/2 cup shredded or cubed cheddar cheese

Mix all and put in greased casserole dish. Bake at 350 for 45 min to 1 hour.

With a recipe like this you can add diced onion, corn, mushroom, celery, garlic or whatever your preference to make it go further and make it healthier. This can be a base for you to work with! To make it cheaper, use whatever ingredients you have on hand. If you have macaroni noodles and not egg noodles, use those. If you have cream of mushroom soup, use that instead. Substitute corn for peas or cheddar for whatever is in your fridge.

Enjoy!

A Penny Saved...

Use this recession time to re-think your habits and build new ones!

I went back into my archives of recipes and found a favorite that cost pennies to make. It has great flavor, so don't let the name scare you off!

Chili Spaghetti

1 pound of ground beef ( I use ground turkey...less fat!)
1/2 cup chopped onion
2 garlic cloves, minced
3 cups tomato juice
1 can (16 ounces) kidney beans, rinsed and drained
6 ounces spaghetti, broken into 3-inch pieces
1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
2 to 3 teaspoon chili powder
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon pepper

In a skillet over medium heat, cook beef, onion and garlic until meat is no longer pink; drain. Transfer to a grease 1 1/2 quart baking dish; stir in the remaining ingredients. cover and bake at 350 degrees for 65-70 minutes or until spaghetti is just tender. let stand, covered, for 10 minutes. 6 servings.

Almost any woman can cook up a tasty dinner full of fat and 'not-so-good-for you' ingredients, wouldn't you agree?. If your paycheck is tight or your job is on the line, use this time to cut back and learn how to cook healthy. Use as many natural ingredients as possible.

You will emerge from this recession healthier in more ways than one!

Will the recession make you fat?

"Will the recession make you fat?" was the title of a segment on the Today Show this morning. You can read the online article here.

There were some great shopping tips and good reminders on how to save money when going grocery shopping.

Many consumers think it's too expensive to eat healthy (fresh fruits and veggies are expensive). Buy fresh fruit and vegetables when they are on sale or buy frozen. They suggest scaling back on eating out and you'll save money there. Limit excessive snack-buying (pre-packaged snacks can be spendy). Buy larger containers of yogurt, cereal, and snacks and divide into smaller portions.

Stop buying beverages such as fancy coffee, fruit drinks, fruit juices, soda, and bottled water. Invest in a home filtering system and guzzle clean, good (and virtually free!) water. They made the recommendation to buy a few colorful water bottles and keep those filled with cold, refreshing water. I got a Camelbak water bottle for Christmas this year and it sits on my counter (or in my bedroom or living room) all day and I keep filling it with my filtered water. This helps me to rarely drink pop or other sugary beverages. Sames goes for my brother, sister-in-law and nephew. They bought a few Camelbak water bottles and refill them constantly. We are all learning how these healthier and cheaper habits can benefit our budget and our waistline!

You can read all the food tips and suggestions online (it's worth your time!).

Another angle of the segment was that when people are stressed they eat more - and they tend to eat more comfort foods. People who are feeling discouraged or depressed, will also exercise less and prefer to spend time as a 'couch potato.' In hard economic times, people stop their personal trainers, quit their gym memberships, and get little exercise. They suggest choosing exercises that are free such as working out at home using tv exercise shows or walking. Exercise is exactly what we all need to help with depression and give us more joyful attitudes in these hard times.

The Today Show also noted that people turn to alcohol to calm them down when they are anxious and nervous about the economy. Alcohol is a depressant so it can make things worse if someone is already struggling through a tough situation.

This week Barb and I will share some healthy and budget-friendly recipes. If you have ones to share please comment or e-mail us - we'd love to post your recipes and we'd love to try them out ourselves!

Silly Advice...?

Anonymous left this comment on our last posting:

That is the silliest advice I have heard on marriage. I totally disagree with the notion that we will (left to our own) tear each other down and be selfish. The best marriages are ones that are strong from the start - ones with people who actually love each other. If you find yourself working that hard to keep your marriage together then I suggest taking a look at why you got married in the first place. In looking at my friends the best marriages are the ones that require the least amount of work. If you are working non-stop then perhaps you errored in who you married or have the wrong focus. Just my two cents.

Thank you for the feedback! It is nice to hear from the readers and get some discussion going.

There is a law of nature, the law of disintegration, that states that everything goes from order to disorder...whether it is a new car that is driven off the lot, a new business that starts up or a clean house that is all in order. If left without management and close attention, they all begin to erode. So it is in a marriage. A husband and wife will drift apart if a marriage isn't given the proper attention. Even the best marriages, where two individuals are perfectly in tune with one another, need good habits to sustain a quality relationship and that is what this posting is proporting.

I agree that the best marriages are the ones that are strong from the start, but there are many of those that fall apart over the years if GOOD HABITS aren't in place. The posting was all about the GOOD HABITS that this wife had with her husband..communication, time to enjoy one another, spend time together, etc.

A good marriage takes work. A good marriage is hard sometimes, but so is many worthwhile pursuits.

I can encourage readers that when good habits are put in place in your marriage, your relationship will flourish and grow deep roots. Over time, a marriage with good habits just works...and no longer is considered hard work!

Please keep reading this blog and giving us your two cents, anonymous.

Guest Contributor...

Stacy and I asked one of the original "Homemakers with Hope" to share some thoughts about how she keeps her marriage a priority. She is a young mom of 2 daughters...

"I would be the first to say that keeping my marriage a priority is very difficult in this day and age of our fast-paced society. We are all so busy doing things that are good that we easily lose sight of what is best (i.e. our marriages). I do feel like I need to state the obvious, but the ideas I list below are things we do but we do them all surrounded in a blanket of prayer everyday. We know that left to ourselves we would choose to be selfish, we would choose to fight against each other instead of work together. It is only through our individual relationship with Jesus that allows us to see each other through God's eyes and allows us to have the marriage that God himself designed. Without His strength and goodness flowing through us, we would not be able to maintain a good marriage on our own. So that said, here are a few practical ways Jeff and I have chosen to help us keep our marriage a priority.

First, we choose to talk often about our relationship. We talk about our goals and dreams as a couple. This helps us stay focused and connected and moving in the same direction. It is very motivating to make something a priority when you are moving together in the same direction to meet a common goal.

Second, we purposely put ourselves in situations that make us communicate (even and especially about the everyday things) as much as possible. One way we do this is we have only one car. It not only allows us to save money, it makes us talk everyday about what we are doing, our schedules, and ultimately our feelings about those things going on in our day. It helps us stay on the same page which is really important in a good marriage.

Third, we try to schedule regular date nights. We are fortunate enough to have our parents close by to help watch our girls so we can make this a reality. Time away together is essential to making your marriage a priority. Along with the date nights we try to foster activities that we both love. We love to go to movies and out to eat. When going out isn't an option we will often rent or re-watch a movie that we both love. Doing things that we both love helps maintain the relationship and helps us keep it a priority."

Wow, great ideas and insight...thanks for sharing Betsy!

Marriages Hit Hard Times

I have to believe that there are many marriages that are hurting these days.

According to the Association of Bridal Consultants, more than 67 percent of newlyweds believe the most serious conflict in their first year of marriage is about money. In addition, of the 40,000 consumers who call in to Cambridge Credit Counselors for free financial advice, about 4 percent blame money problems for their divorce. (from iparenting.com)

Our economy is hurting and that has got to have an affect on many of our marriages.

What's a wife to do when her husband loses his job? When groceries cost more than the budget allows? When there is no money for the 'extras'?

There are many tips given to help extend our money but I think a wife can do even more. She can be there for her husband.

Dan Baker and Cameron Stauth in their book, What Happy People Know, state that most people struggle with 2 basic fears:
Fear of not having enough
Fear of not being enough

Husbands who are concerned about their inability to provide for their families during these tight times struggle with these fears.
This can be a wonderful time for a wife to grow in her faith in God and love for her husband. As women, we can have a profound impact on our husbands by finding contentment with what we have at this time. As wives, we can have a profound impact by letting our husbands know that we love them even when their role as a provider is compromised.

I am not sure who gave me this financial advice, but I have found it so helpful:
1. Spend on things that matter
2. Save for things that matter
3. Give to things that matter

Be a wife who quietly applies this advice. Then spend the rest of your energy on enjoying what you have and loving your husband for who he is.

Two Good Choices

I read an article by Pam Farrel, a 'relationship specialist' who stated:

"There are many ways to mess up love because humans can have a bent toward selfish, controlling, and basically not-so-smart choices"

I thought of Stacy's post from yesterday. She mentioned that she had to be mindful of her choices because there are so many 'good' choices to choose from. I think, as women, we have so many interests,so many choices, we need to ask ourselves what might be the best choice.

Pam has a list of the Top Six Snares to Long Lasting Love:

1. Think, "I can handle a schedule that has almost no time for my spouse."

2. Live at a pace that rarely allows for 'red hot monogamy' (sexual intimacy)

3. Ignore boundaries with the opposite sex by meeting alone with opposite sex

4. Think, "I deserve it," and reward your hard work with an unhealthy habit like pornography, food, drinking or shopping addiction

5. When stressed by work, unload on your mate with anger, negativity or demands.

6. Ignore alarms that past baggage is trying to reclaim ground in your life (tramatic childhood, addictions, anger, critical spirit, etc) Often your spouse will be the first to see the symptoms and bring up the topic which is met with hostility. denial, or rationalizing.

Being aware of these snares may help us make better choices.

The article ends on a good note. In a nut shell, she says to make 2 good choices daily:

BE NEAR TO GOD

BE NICE

Make it a great weekend, everyone!

Chossing between right and right

The following excerpt is taken from an article printed in Marriage Partnership. I love the explanation about the two kinds of decisions we face and how the author describes priority decisions....read on!

Q. You've said decisions are of two kinds. What are they?

A. Aside from minor decisions, like which way to drive home from work, they tend to be moral decisions or priority decisions. Moral decisions are choices between right and wrong. To make the wrong choice is sin. The power to make correct moral decisions results from our desire to have integrity and the enabling power of God.

But priority decisions are choices between right and right. They represent our choices about how to allocate our time and money. Deciding whether to take your wife out to dinner or play ball in the city league that night is a priority decision. Working on Saturday mornings or spending that time with family is a priority choice. Investing in the stock market or staying liquid is a choice between two acceptable alternatives. The only imperative in making priority decisions is to be wise—to choose between good, better, and best.

But aren't some decisions really both?

Yes, decisions with both moral and priority implications are not merely about how to spend time and money, but carry with them the full weight of God's principles. Buying a new car is a simple priority decision when transportation is the consideration. But the decision to buy a luxury car we covet which robs money from higher priorities, like savings pledged to college tuition or tithing, takes on the added dimension of a moral issue—a choice between right and wrong.

Patrick Morley, formerly in real estate, now serves the Christian men's movement. Adapted from The Man in the Mirror (Zondervan, 1989) by permission.

The author says that the way to make priority decisions is to be wise. So it is with marriage. Daily we can choose between two right things, to good options, two wonderful opportunities on how to spend our time and energy. But in order to make our marriage a priority, we have to ask ourselves what is the WISE thing to do? What is the BEST thing to do?

And ladies I believe it starts with us. In my home, my husband will almost always choose family as a priority. I, on the other hand, have a multitude of activities and events to choose from and some are very tempting.

I am thankful for the advice of using wisdom when choosing my priorities.

Making your marriage a priority

In the survey we offered last fall the number one topic chosen was Making Your Marriage a Priority.

As a girl who fills her day with to-dos, activities, outings and project after project, this is an area of great struggle for me. We’ll address this topic in the coming days, but be assured: we are writing to ourselves as much as we are writing to you. Please feel free to share your questions about this topic or ideas that you have found are invaluable in helping you make your marriage a priority.

Debra Evans in the book Blessing Your Husband, says, “Marriage is the most important human relationship a man and a woman voluntarily commit to in live. It was designed to survive raising kids to adulthood and all of the stresses and strains involved in family life.”

She also quotes Gary Smalley about the Art of Flexibility: Gary states that many women have their days planned from morning to evening and when something has to be changed, it ruins their day. “Your schedule is important, however you need to maintain a balance by being able to set aside your priorities from time to time to pay special attention to your husband and his needs.”

Questions to ponder this week as we discuss making your marriage a priority:
What kind of reaction does my husband get when he walks in the door at night? Or when I greet him at the door as we both return home from work?
Am I already writing my to-do list in my head for the evening or weekend? Where does my husband fit on that list or schedule?
How many opportunities for blessing and celebration have I missed with my husband because of my determined choice to stick to a schedule or remain preoccupied with my daily work?
When was the last time we sat down and had a one on one conversation together? Or when have we had a night or weekend alone together in the past year?
What would it look like to make my husband and my marriage a priority?

Where's My Focus?

I was looking forward to reading The Power of a Praying Wife when it first became popular. I was always eager to pray for my husband...because there was so many areas to cover with the Lord:)

Imagine my surprise when the first chapter was all about ME. The author, Stormie Omartian devotes 23 pages writing about wives. It's the longest chapter in her book.

Her point was...don't bother praying for your husband if you aren't ready to pray for yourself and your relationship with your husband. Praying for our husbands isn't making a list of complaints and bringing them before the Lord. It's really about praying for understanding so we can become the wife our husband needs.

Dr Steve Stephens and Alice Gray wrote The Walk Out Woman. They offer 2 helpful questions for women to ponder when their marriage is frustrating and their husbands remain a mystery. Gary Thomas, in Sacred Influence, offers a 3rd question:

1. What's it like being married to me?
2. What's it like hearing the words I say?
3. What's it like living with my attitude?

These questions keep me in prayer most of the day.

Home Improvement...Valentine's Day

"I wish I were younger...I could be married to you longer!"

Wow, is that the ultimate line for a perfect Valentine card or what?!

Have fun tomorrow with Valentine's Day.

Brent Curtis and John Eldredge says in The Sacred Romance: "The most crippling thing that besets the pilgrim heart is simply forgetfulness, or more accurately, the failure to remember."

Remember the 'good stuff' about your spouse tomorrow and then let the Valentine celebration begin!

82 years!

Every morning I turn on the Today Show to catch up on news and see the weather for the day. On Tuesdays and Thursdays Willard Scott does birthday wishes for those who have lived many many decades....

Today they acknowledged a couple who had been married for 82 years. 82 years!!!

She was in her late 90s and he was 102.

Can you imagine celebrating 82 anniversaries?

I was inspired. I was encouraged. I was challenged!

I am about to celebrate 8 in a few weeks.

I got to thinking about what it takes to make it for 82 years (besides getting married as a teenager :).

I"m guessing their love is not reserved for one special day a year in February. I'm guessing they've learned how to give and receive love 365 days a year. I'm guessing they've faced hard times together, good times together and unexpected times together.

This Valentine's week I'm inspired by a couple I've never met....whose commitment to one another and to marriage challenges me to keep on keeping on - on Valentine's Day and every day.

The First Valentine

"The story of Valentines Day begins during the heyday of the Roman Empire, which held a festival every February. This Lupercian Festival was held in honor of the God of Fertility and during the festivities young men would get to choose their mate. At the time marriage was a common occurrence, but when Claudius became Emperor he changed all of that. Fearing that men would refuse their duty to fight because they would not want to leave their wives behind, he outlawed all marriages. Young couples still fell in love though and still wished to marry and they took these desires to the Catholic Bishop Valentine who, understanding love, began to secretly marry couples. When Claudius found out, he had Valentine arrested and ordered put to death. While waiting in jail, Valentine began exchanging letters with the jailer’s daughter and soon had fallen in love with her. The day he was to be beheaded, he wrote her one last note and signed it: ‘From Your Valentine’." (from Google)

The jailer's daughter and Valentine only knew each other by the letters they wrote to one another. Their love blossomed.

That's the power of the written word.

Mark Twain once said, "I can live for two months on a good compliment." Perhaps this Valentine's Day we can follow Valentine's example and Twain's advice and write out a few compliments and present them to our spouse. So often we think the good thoughts, Valentine's is a great day to express them.

Just think, if Mark Twain had beaten Valentine to the punch and written out a few good compliments to his wife, he could have invented Valentine's Day...but would that mean we would have to call it 'St Twain's Day'?!

V-Day

Tonight my husband and I were watching The Biggest Loser on television and it seems that every other commercial was for jewelry for Valentine's Day. Clearly, someone out there believes all women want jewelry for this day of love.

Ryan asked me after one of these commercials what I wanted for V-Day. My response: a Dustbuster. Sexy huh? But I do really want one to quickly vacuum up little spills, dirt under the table and to vacuum off our furniture easily. Can't imagine what that commercial would look like!

So I asked Ryan, "What do you want for Valentine's Day?" (typically we don't exchange gifts but I thought I would ask just to see his answer...). I won't write his answer, but he is a guy so you can guess what look I got :)

While I'm not into buying or receiving expensive chocolates, flowers and jewelry for V-Day (that doesn't count baked goodies!), I see no reason why we can't use this day as another opportunity to tell our spouse how much we love and respect him. What a great time for me to give Ryan want he prefers most of the 5 love languages - quality time. What a perfect day to celebrate the blessing of marriage, love and Christ-centered commitment.

Yes we can let Hallmark or Kay's Jewelry dictate 2/14 or we can decide for ourselves how to celebrate it in our own relationships....showing love, sharing love and celebrating love.

Ahhh, Love Is In The air!

I love Valentine's Day. I love all the fun things that the stores promote this time of year. Maybe it's the RED color that excites me, but I do love Valentine's Day!

My husband and I met and married within a 6 month time frame...and then he left for a 6 month stint with the Marines right after our honeymoon.

When we began living together as husband and wife...well, we had alot to learn about one another. Praise God, His hand was in our marriage because I don't think that anyone would advise 2 people to marry who hadn't even experienced 3 seasons of the year together!

One good thing that did come out of our whirlwind marriage was GOOD HABITS! I don't mean hygiene habits, I mean habits in the way we treated each other. I don't think we intentionally set out to develop good habits, we were just strangers who treated each other kindly and spoke with respect. We married before we had down and dirty fights! We had promised each other "til death do us part" so we must have instinctively responded with GOOD HABITS as we interacted those first years.

Since then, I have read that true ROMANCE is a relationship with GOOD HABITS! Dean and I could be the poster couple for that definition:

We don't go out to dinner on Valentine's

He doesn't buy me jewelry

I don't make him a 4 course meal

He does occasionally buy me flowers

But we have ROMANCE! I haven't always acknowledged that. There were years when I felt bad I didn't get wined and dined...until I realized I didn't need that 'bling' to convince me of Dean's love. I needed his daily care and concern that comes from his kind and good habits.

Good habits...treating each other with respect, enjoyment, and kindness has built an atmosphere of ROMANCE into our marriage that is dependable and certain.

Dr Laura says "CHOOSE WISELY" then "TREAT KINDLY". It's all about the habits.

Action expresses priorities

Priority is defined as:
1. something given special attention

2. highest or higher in importance, rank, privilege, etc.: a priority task.

This week my priorities have been my family. Samuel's Gotcha Day was a big priority this week as was my husband. He received a fabulous job offer on Monday and all week we have been talking and praying and discussing what to do (it involves a possible move or him commuting out of state).

I believe I have given special attention to both my boys this week. Other things have fallen by the wayside while I poured my time, energy, planning, etc. into the two of them.

That is definitely not always the case. Sometimes we can say this is my priority or that is my priority. But when it comes down to it, how have we spent our time? How have our actions reflected our priorities?

Gandhi says: "Action expresses priorities."

This weekend reflect on how you would answer the question: What are your priorities? Then take notice of how you spend your time.

I believe this will give us all something to ponder.

Gotcha!

"Do you, Ryan Dale May intend to provide for this little baby until he is of legal age?"

"Do you agree to take care of him even if he has mental or physical problems in the future?"

These were just some of the questions that Ryan and Stacy were asked at court today.

Today was "Gotcha Day"...a day of celebration for our family. Samuel Lee May was officially recognized by the court to be the son of Ryan and Stacy.

It was very official.

It was very emotional.

It was very fun.

As we entered the Juvenile Court, we were screened by security. Even Great-Grandma had her cane scanned and her shoes checked! It caught me off guard that security would be so tight, when we were coming there to celebrate.

The ceremony lasted about 10 minutes...with a lawyer asking the questions, a court reporter documenting it all and a judge who happily declared Samuel to be the son of Ryan and Stacy.

Not a dry eye could be found.

All thought about work, emails, blog postings or daily tasks took second place today.
Today was all about praising God for His perfect gift of Samuel Lee May. Today was about smiling at anyone and everyone that crossed our path.

"Gotcha"...now has a whole new meaning for me!

Balance!

Balance, that's what I am striving for when I think of priorities.

A balanced life...one that I can control. But life has taught me that balance may be a myth. Try as I might, I have not found a formula that allows me to fit all my priorities neatly onto my calendar.

Too many unknowns

Too many interruptions

Too many people vying for my attention

Rather than balance, I think I am after a 'well-ordered heart'.

That's what you had yesterday, Stacy. You were able to choose Ryan over the blog or other daily demands because your heart was in tune with God's. Your heart was 'well-ordered'.

Do I dare tell you how long it took me to learn that lesson?!

Daily I have to seek to love God with all my heart and all my soul and all my mind. On the days that my heart is 'well-ordered', I am ready to meet the needs of everyone I care about and my own needs will then be met as well.

Now, I have to run...my husband is asking me when dinner is going to be ready?!

Priorities

So I meant to blog all day today.

In fact I had a chapter from the book Blessing Your Husband by Debra Evans all picked out to reference in my posting.

I didn't get a chance to review the chapter until late afternoon. Then Ryan got home earlier than usual and I still hadn't blogged. So once we had dinner I decided to sit down to write today's posting.

I turned to chapter 5 titled "The Blessing of Right Priorities." Just as I started to type, my husband came to the couch where I was sitting and asked if we could cuddle for a bit. I was heading out at 6:30 for the evening and he wanted and needed some quality time.

I looked at my computer screen and my book. I turned to him to say that I needed to blog so I wouldn't have to do it later tonight.

But then I realized....how could I possibly sit here and write about making your husband a priority while telling my husband that blogging was my priority over spending time with him? The irony was overwhelming.

So I closed my laptop, shut the book and cuddled on the couch for 30 minutes.

Ladies it's one thing to write about priorities. It's one thing to think about priorities in your head. It's one thing to say that your spouse is your priority.

But to live it out.

Now that's an entirely different concept.

We'll talk about it more this week. I hope. But no promises because I'm striving to make sure my actions match my words.

Be careful...

Be careful little eyes what you see.

Be careful little ears what you hear.

I don't know all the lyrics to that children's song but I was thinking about it yesterday.

Barb touched on being aware of what we put in front of our eyes.

I think being aware of what we listen to is wise as well. What we listen to, we ultimately reigns in our minds and we ponder in our hearts.

As I go about my day I can choose to have the television on or off at home. If it's on, I can choose to listen to talk shows, news, sitcoms or soap operas. Or I can choose to have on the radio or iPod and listen to music or talk shows.

When I am in the car I can choose to have silence, listen to talk radio or other radio programs, worship music, sermons or any other music station out there.

These are such simple choices. They are not life altering. Not one of them. But over time they can be so impactful on my mind and my thought patterns.

These choices can set the tone for my day and my attitude.

For Home Improvement lets strive be intentional about what we listen to. Enjoy a television show you like or a radio station you are a fan of. But be aware of what you are listening to and make it something you choose rather than something that chooses you.

Should You Be Reading This?

"Should I be reading this?"
Lately I have been asking myself that question. Not that I'm reading BAD stuff, but rather that I am side-tracked by all the options I have to feed my mind.

I love blogs, emails, facebook, the whole internet(!), books, ipods, magazines...so much information, so little time.

This statistic blew my mind: "In 2003 alone, enough new information was generated to fill a stack of books 30 feet tall for EACH of the more than six billion people on earth." (Peter Lyman, "How much information,2003")

How do I decide what to read and what to walk away from?

I have had to return to the basics as all this technology has crept into my life. When my kids were really little, I packed a basket of books and my Bible and moved from room to room for my quiet time. The season of the year often dictated where I would perch.
Later I planted myself in a cozy corner in my walk-in closet to read, pray and THINK.
When my daughter left for college, I moved a comfortable chair into her bedroom and sat up 'shop' there.

My intent was always to find a personal sanctuary of sorts.

I am now back in my cozy closet. It's my place of solitude off away from all the other demands of my day. It is where I feed my mind and allow myself to THINK without distraction.

Did you know that Bill Gates has a modest cottage in a secret location where he goes for "Think Weeks"?

This has been one of my most powerful 'tools' in finding out who I am as a woman...to have a place for rejuvenation and a place that nourishes my soul.

The key was to find a place that took me away from all the worldly connections. A place where the computer, cell phones, ipods and the like are not allowed. It is a place that allows me to think and get in touch with who I really am.

It's been a process for me. Finding a place to sit my bum was not the goal...it was the beginning of meeting ME!

Heart, soul and mind

I read recently that the best prayer you can pray for your children is that they would "Love the Lord their God with all their heart, all their soul and all their mind."

That is a very powerful prayer to pray! Not only are we praying Scripture, but we are praying for hearts, souls and minds.

I believe that in order to pray this for my son (and my spouse while I'm at it!), I need to be living it out myself. What does it look like to love God with all my heart, soul AND mind?

As we know, our minds are a battlefield. Every day we fight battles with what we think about, how we think and what thoughts we allow to enter and take up residence in our minds.

The Greek word Jesus used for “mind” is dianoia, which means: Deep thought, exercising the mind, to think through.

Everything we allow in our minds we need to think through, analyze, consider, weigh the pros and cons. So much attention is given to our hearts and souls in our relationship with the Lord, it is easy to let our minds slip.

The reason? Because it is a daily battle. What worked yesterday may not work today. And may not work tomorrow. As we train our hearts to be healthy, we can train our minds to think on what is good, true, pure, noble and righteous.

But it does take training. It takes living intentionally and being slective with what we allow to enter our minds. This will enable us to love God with our hearts, soul and mind!

What Did You Learn?

What did you learn yesterday? About anything.

Years ago, at the end of every day I would write down one thing I had learned that day. I may return to that discipline again this year.

There were days I was eager to write down something profound I had heard or read. There were days I was void of anything new. It rapidly made me aware of how little I focused on my mind. Before that exercise, I simply went from day to day not really thinking about my mind's potential.

How can we even begin to call ourselves 'wise' if we aren't aware of our learning patterns?

As we talk about becoming women of God, most of us recognize our need grow in that area.

When we focus on our physical bodies, we are always aware of ways we can improve there.

But do we take our minds for granted?

As we continue to think of ways to take care of ourselves we can't neglect our minds.

What have you learned today?

Make a list!

One of my favorite homemaking books that I refer to on this site from time to time is Queen of the Castle. Author Lynn Bowen Walker refers to the book The Sidetracked Sisters' Happiness File in which they suggest starting a list of all the things you love to do, them making sure to incorporate them into your life.

As women it is vital to nurture ourselves by participating in the activities that bring refreshment, joy and relaxation to our hearts. These things not only refresh us physically, but mentally and emotionally as well.

A list might include things such as: taking a bubble bath, going shopping, getting a facial, pedicure or massage, going out for coffee with a friend, reading a book, watching movies in front of the fire (with freshly popped popcorn!), taking a nap, working on a craft or hobby, etc. If this lists sounds similar to what Barb suggested last week, it's because we're really trying to communicate that these things are essential - not just optional - for us to thrive as women.

I love to read and last week I read an entire book in two days. Now it wasn't a long book, but it felt SO good to just lay in bed here and there, or sit on the couch while my husband was watching television and let myself read. Reading allows me to take a mental break from life, and escape into the wonderful world of whatever story I am reading.

When you have a few minutes this week, grab a pen and make your list. Put it in your Bible or on your fridge or somewhere you will see it regularly. Let it be a reminder to give yourself a mental or emotional break - you deserve it!

Home Improvement...Be a Woman!

HURRAH! This week's home improvement is all about ME! Enjoy it ladies, because the other 51 weeks it will be about serving others!

A woman serves her husband

A woman serves her children

A woman serves her neighbors, friends, co-workers

A woman serves her parents, siblings and relatives

A woman serves...

So a woman has to be in top condition in order to maintain her own strength and availability to serve others.

Use this weekend to take a temperature check of what YOU need to do to improve physically so you can serve others.

Take a bath

Get a free makeover at a cosmetic counter at your favorite department store

Make a doctor's appointment on Monday if you haven't been keeping up with your yearly physicals

Move your body this weekend. Make plans to do that often in 2009

Look through magazines for a new haircut for the New Year!

Paint your fingernails

Use a facial mask...for dry or oily skin, whatever one fits you

Paint your toenails

Buy a new color lipstick

Go through your closet and weed out old clothes, alter clothes that don't fit, buy new clothes if you have a need for some!

Change the purse you are using, buy a fun new one if your current one doesn't keep you organized

Eat healthy...just for this weekend and see if it doesn't improve your disposition by Monday:)

Enjoy yourself!

Where do you turn?

I typed in 'Women's Health' on Amazon today and discovered there are almost 60,000 books on this topic.

60,000!

In addition to books there is Dr. Phil, Oprah, The View and so many other shows that cover the topic of our health.

There is also Prevention, Women's Health Magazine, Fitness and a slew of other resources to read on a monthly basis.

What resource do you turn to for advice, encouragement or information on your health and lifestyle?

Ever considered the Bible as a resource for healthy living?

A wise woman once suggested that you should have a pink highlighter with you when you read your Bible. Every time you come across a verse that applies to you as a woman, highlight it in pink.

2 Timothy 3:16 says: All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness.

As women we are trying to be taught, we need rebuke about our lifestyles, we are seeking correction and training.

Make the Bible your #1 resource for your health and lifestyle choices.

Now where is that pink highlighter?

Woman to Woman

When I was 20-something, I was teaching along side quite a few other young teachers. We developed a close bond as we were all were just beginning to 'build our homes'.

Jeanette, the office administrator was like a mother to all of us and was forever giving us tips. She usually had some advice about recipes or cleaning, but one time she said, "Don't forget to put cream on your necks every night, girls."

Since then, I have put cream on my neck! Did it help? I don't know, let's just say I'd hate to see what my neck would be like if I hadn't!

I love advice like that. Often times when I read about how to take care of myself as a woman, it is overwhelming because it makes it seem like a full-time job!

Helpful hints from women who are down the road abit are tried and true and...usually priceless.

Want to hear some more?

I began taking care of the sensitive skin around my eyes after an older neighbor said it was the best thing she did to take care of her face.

I became aware of colors in my clothing when an older friend spent some time with me to show me the impact of different colors against my skin.

When my first child was born, an older mom with 3 kids asked me what I was 'feeding my body' (not what was I eating) and it began a life-long habit of feeding my body healthy foods because she said I would be 'feeding my baby the same stuff I was feeding my body'

A very organized mom told me she got up early, exercised and got fully dressed to start each day, right down to her shoes. This enabled her to 'handle all the interruptions' and helped her be ready for whatever happened during the day. When I follow this advice even now many years later I am a happier woman.

We women love to talk, let's make our words inspiring to one another so we can be the best women we can be in the shortest amount of time and with the least amount of expense!

What comment could you share that might impact another woman? Here's your chance!

What worked then...

doesn't work now....!

That's something that I've learned over the last couple years

When I worked full-time in the corporate world I took a class during lunch where we stretched, lifted light weights and did exercises with a big ball. I was toned!

When I worked from home and lived just a couple blocks from a Snap Fitness my husband and I would work out on a regular basis. Or I would work out during the day. We had no kids and our schedule was our own.

Now I am at home full-time as a mom. I work part-time from home. I don't belong to a club. My time is not my own.

What worked for me in the past will not work for me now. It's not an option for me now to go to the club or take exercise classes whenever I want.

So what's a mom to do?

That's what I'm here trying to figure out. What does my day look like now? Where do I fit in exercise and healthy cooking? It's freezing here in Minnesota so I can't even take my little guy out for a walk.

I look forward to warmer weather and getting out doors but that is months away (unfortunately!).

I'm not sure what healthy living looks like for me in this new season of life. But I'm committed to figuring it out...so I can be the best mom possible.

I Am Woman!

Last Wednesday I took a bath! A nice hot bubble bath.
I remember things like that because they happen so rarely.

I suppose I should preface that by saying that I shower daily, but I don't treat myself to a long, steamy bubble bath often.

I loved just sitting among the bubbles pretending I was a young girl without a care in the world. It was good to escape reality for abit.

What do you do to take care of YOURSELF? The first 2 weeks of this New Year, we have talked about our spiritual health and our role as a woman of God. For the next 2 weeks, we would like to focus on taking care of ourselves. As a woman, no matter where we are in life we all serve others. That is just how we are made. But we can't keep serving others without making sure we are strong and healthy ourselves.

My mom was a great role model for staying active. She loved to walk and swim. I have benefited from her example and if I am asked by a younger woman what I have learned over the years about my body that I value, moving my body would be at the top of my list. My body is the vehicle that I use to serve others so I need to keep it in moving condition. That doesn't mean long, sweaty workouts, it just means walking the stairs instead of taking the escalator, it means parking at the back of a parking lot and walking into a store.

It would be great to get feedback from all of you reading this blog about what you do to take care of yourself as a woman. What advice did you hear when you were younger that you have found to be valuable? What advice would you like to hear?

We are all striving to be HOMEMAKERS with Hope...how do we stay healthy as we are trying to be all things to all people? Let's share and learn together...

How Many Bible Verses Do You Know By Heart?

Last year I had the Homemakers write down all the Bible verses they knew by heart and where they were found in the Bible. For example, they couldn't write down "For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life," if they did not know that it was found in John 3:16.

I did the same exercise.

I was amazed how few verses I could tally because I didn't know where they were found in the Bible. I knew the verse "Love the Lord your God with all your heart with all your soul and with all your mind" by I couldn't find it in the Bible if I were asked where that was.

One verse I did know was "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is---his good, pleasing and perfect will." Romans 12:2

As I looked at my short list, I knew what my 'theme' needed to be for 2009. I needed to commit a year to 'renew my mind' by "hiding God's Word in my heart".

I hesitate to share this in a blog because usually I take some time with my new theme to see exactly what direction it will take me. I let the year unfold as I see how I will evaluate and measure my theme. This year it is pretty evident. I need to memorize. Not for the sake of making a long list to flaunt. Not to mindlessly memorize the words. But to really see a transformation in my mind and ultimately in my life because I am 'delighting in the law of the Lord, and on His law I meditate day and night."

I feel like I am stepping into a reality show to see if it really can be done. That it really will make a difference. I wonder if it wouldn't be easier to eat a plate of live beetles in front of a camera then to memorize scripture...and then remember it...and then apply it.

Check in with me next year...I'll let you know.

Now I need to find where this verse is in the Bible:"Be still and know that I am God"

That is a good place to start.

All my heart

I have found that there are others who can say what I want to say, much better than I can say it. Here goes:

"Oh how we need those in this day and age who will pay the price in time and energy to draw near to God." - Catherine Martin

"You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart."
- Jeremiah 29:13

I believe that sums it up for today.

Is God Enough?

Titus 2:4 instructs the older women to "train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God."

Sheldon Vanauken says, "The best argument for Christianity is Christians; their joy, their certainty, their completeness. But the strongest argument against Christianity is also Christians--when they are somber and joyless, when they are narrow and repressive, then Christianity dies a thousand deaths."

I think all women strive to be good at what they choose to do. As business women, moms, wives, friends or whatever. When a Christian woman lets other 'gods' like money, approval, success, career, or possessions meet her needs, she is really saying that "God is not enough". She maligns the word of God.

As the older woman, can I challenge you to become a woman who is the 'best argument for Christianity.'

Be a woman who seeks God. Be a woman who is known for her joy, her certainty and her completeness...because she puts God and His glory first in her life.

First things first

In 2009, before we can be a friend. Or a sister. Or a mom. Or a wife. Or a daughter. Or a business woman....

We must remember what we are first. We are women of God. And as women of God, seeking to be wise, we must live intentionally and with purpose.

Agree?

We have been discussing themes a lot and my theme for 2009 is Daily Bread. "Give us this day our daily bread...." I ask for so much. I seek so much. I desire so much. But all I REALLY need is my daily bread. No more. No less.

But in order to get my daily bread I need to ask myself questions like these (I've copied them from a great blog - check it out here):

1. How much time did you spend in God's Word this week?
2. When was the last time you memorized a verse from God's Word?
3. When was the last time you taught someone else a verse or lesson from God's Word that you had learner?
4. What do you know about God's Word that you didn't know a year ago? How is this knowledge changing behaviors in your life?
5. What could you eliminate in your life in the next 45 days to make time to insert time in Word of God?

If you read beyond the questions, you'll see that Kim references a pastor who doesn't put any "bread" in his mouth until he has sought his "daily bread." What a challenge that is to me!

As a new mom, a part-time writer, a full-time housekeeper (yuk, yuk, yuk!), a volunteer, a leader, a wife, a sister, a friend.......I can feel overwhelmed, burned out and desperate for a break. And that's when I know without a doubt I'm taking time for everyone else but me.

I strive to meet with the Lord regularly. But in order to do so I need to ask myself question #5 regularly. I fail miserably many times but thankfully God's grace is part of my daily bread that I eat up quickly!

If I am to be a woman of God I must start each day with me and God. No one else. No other person. No other ministry. No to do list. No work. Nothing else.

So here's to a brand new year....one slice at a time.

New Year's Resolutions-Home Improvement

In 2008, I focused on the verse in Ps 37:5 that says "Delight in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart."

That prompted me to think of what my existing desires were?

I desired to be a good wife and know what pleased my husband
I desired to be a listening mom to all of my kids
I desired to be a friend that could be trusted and had truth to share
I desired to be a grandma that really was interested in her grandchildren
I desired to find out what it meant to 'delight in the Lord'!
I desired to keep a nice home
I desired to have energy to get through my days
I desired to keep my wardrobe in good repair
I desired to know more Bible verses by heart

On and on the list went, until I realized that what I had written was really a great list of resolutions, but put in a more energizing way. Rather than telling myself I had to do something in the New Year, I re-phrased it in a way that made the tasks something that I WANTED to do. These were the desires of my heart.

Then I had to back-track and ask myself if God saw that these were His desires for my heart. I was surprised to find out that they probably were! The desires were in line with His Word. I prayed that He would change my desires if He wanted to but otherwise, I was just going to move forward making those desires my 'new-found resolutions'.

I found these 'resolutions' are so user-friendly, because they are really my life-priorities.

So our Home Improvement assignment is this:
Pick a theme for 2009 if you haven't already and make a list of the desires of your heart. Will they become your New Year's Resolutions?

Finish Fully in '09

I counted the books in my bedroom this week. 42.....42?! How does one have 42 books in their bedroom without a bookshelf to store them on?

The answer is piles.

I love books and I have piles of them.

It drives me crazy and I am certain it drives my husband crazy as well. But I cannot stop myself nor limit my infatuation with books.

I couldn't agree more with the following quote:

"For some of us, books are as important as almost anything else on earth. What a miracle it is that out of these small, flat, rigid squares of paper unfolds world after world after world, worlds that sing to you, comfort and quiet or excite you. Books help us understand who we are and how we are to behave. They show us what community and friendship mean; they show us how to live and die."
— Anne Lamott (Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life)

My reading material lately has been focused on parenting and baby sleeping and good stuff along those lines, but it still gives me my reading fix.

I've been thinking of some things I want to commit to in 2009. One of those commitments involves books. I can't be so bold as to say I won't buy another book in 2009 or check one out from the library (there are three on hold for me right now!) but I will strive to finish what I start.

Finishing Strong or Finishing Well is a character trait that I admire. When it comes to books, I often skim, read certain chapters or get about 1/2 to 2/3 of the way through and move on the next one.

I am going to work on that in 2009.

Now I just have to decide which pile to start with.

P.S. If you have something you'd like to commit to Finish Fully in '09 please share. We're always inspired by our readers!

A Theme: Delight in the Lord

My 'theme' for 2008 was to 'Delight in the Lord'. I wanted to learn what that meant. During the year, I wrote down verses that instructed me to delight in God and verses that told me that He took delight in me. It wasn't until I came across a paragraph in a secular book about art however, that I realized the power of delight.

"The quality of life is in proportion, always, to the capacity for delight. The capacity for delight is the gift of paying attention." (italics are mine) Julia Cameron, The Artist's Way

I began paying attention to God in my life. As I paid attention, I began 'delighting' in small things that came my way. I 'delighted' in big things that came my way. I found that the quality of my life was indeed in proportion to my capacity to pay attention.

I made a 'daily delight' list where I would write down what caught my attention that day. It was a fun exercise, just to pay attention to God!

I haven't mastered this concept, but I am much more conscious of God in my everyday activities because I chose this theme.

Have you picked a theme for 2009? Share it with us:)

A theme and a heartbook

I just found a post from last January when I wrote about the theme I was choosing for 2008. You can read it here. When choosing your 2009 theme I encourage you to think about these three things:

1. Why are you choosing this theme? Answer that question and write out your response.

2. Scripture: what Scripture affirms your theme? What Scripture will you refer back to when remembering why you chose your them?

3. Quotes/poems/songs: are there any other items that encourage you in your pursuit of your theme? A song that inspires you? A quote that challenges you? Write them down.

Also, as you plan your theme, consider creating a 'Heartbook.' We blogged about this last January as well - check it out. A heartbook is a 3-ring binder that you use to study. The first page of my 2008 binder included my theme, my why, my Scripture references and my quotes. Every time I opened my book, I could see what my theme for the year was.

The heartbook is a place to write out what you are learning about your theme. It is a place to write verses you come across. It is a place to look back at the end of 365 days to see how you grew.

I am so grateful for my 2008 theme and my 2008 heartbook. And I'm thankful that Barb encourages me each year to continue to pursue becoming a wise woman.

'First Things First'

C.S. Lewis said,
"Put first things first and we get second things thrown in:
put second things first and we lose both first and second things."

How many years has it taken me to see the wisdom of putting first things first?

For so long I was eager to forge ahead with my own agenda, I forgot that God has a plan for my life and it might be helpful to check in with Him first!

I've learned that the 'first' thing I need to get into place at the start of every year is my relationship with God. January is a good month to take stock of my spiritual life. January is a good month to organize my thoughts about what I might learn about God. The cold weather(in Minnesota) is a perfect time to spend the long nights reading a book that stretches me in my understanding of God. It is a good month to lay out my plans for the year for my spiritual growth and then all the 'second things' will be thrown in!

If I want to be a wise woman, I need to be a healthy woman in all areas of my life. That means I must put the health of my soul first before I charge ahead and take care of other areas of my life.

Choosing a 'theme' for each year has been a spiritual discipline that has encouraged me to grow spiritually. Having a 'theme' each year allows me to focus on one topic all year long. See Stacy's posting from Dec 31,08 to give you an idea how a 'theme' impacted her life last year!
A theme needs to be measureable so I have something to evaluate at the end of the year. Then I will know if I have grown spiritually or I will know why I have not!

Put 'first things first' this month. Consider choosing a theme for 2009. January is a good month to talk about what it means to be a Godly woman.

The New Year--Home Improvement

My house is a mess, left-over Christmas goodies, crushed decorations, boxes all around needing to be packed and put away. Christmas cards yet to be read and thank you notes needing to be written.

The New Year is just dawning and I am already behind!

Building a home is often based on taking care of the urgent because that is what we can see, but really building a home that works means that we pay attention to the important things.

This weekend, I am going to let a few of the urgent tasks set awhile as I review year 2008 and consider what I need to do that is important to make my home and myself thrive in the New Year.

This Home Improvement assignment will be a year-long project...share this blog with others and add your comments so we can all become Homemakers with Hope. Wise women who are building our homes-Proverbs 14:1

2009 Planning Guide Tool

For a number of years Ryan and I filled out a worksheet as we started each year to help us set goals and discuss our plans for the year. This enabled us to get on the same page and be realistic and honest about what we hoped and desired for the upcoming year.

Some years, we wrote the same thing over and over because we couldn't afford our desired purchases or we didn't achieve the things we hoped for.

Especially early in our marriage this tool was incredibly beneficial, but I think it might be a useful tool for us to consider again this year with all the changes that took place in 2008.

Here is the very simple and straight-forward Planning Guide Tool. I suggest each of you fill it out yourself and then come together to discuss time, finances, dreams, etc. I included examples to get you thinking. Please share if you fill it out and how it works for you!

1. Things to do (e.g., take two weekend trips, go on regular date nights, plan weekly family fun nights, pay off credit card debt, find a church we like, call parents weekly)

2. Things to become (e.g., more fit, a healthier cook, better steward of money, more Bible literate, more educated about...)

3. Things to acquire (e.g., bikes, rollerblades, dining room table, patio furniture, grill)

4. Things to achieve/complete (e.g., MBA, read Bible in one year, certifications, marathon, bike race, painting course)

New Year's Eve...

I really like to take time on New Year's Eve or New Year's Day to REMEMBER.

I have seen over the years the benefit of setting time aside to remember. To remember what the past year taught me. To remember what I celebrated.

2008 has been an extremely joyful year for me with the birth of our first 2 grandsons. If I wasn't in the habit of reviewing my year, I may overlook the details that made these births so special. Life gets busy and I begin to take things for granted if I don't stop and REMEMBER.

This year has been a year of good health for me and my family and it causes me to stop and give thanks. I have had years in the past where sickness and the death of my parents consumed the year. A year of good health is something to be grateful for and to REMEMBER.

My children took on great challenges this year in their families, work and schooling. They stepped out in faith. They grew in their walk with the Lord. It is a year to REMEMBER and give thanks.

I had to come to terms with a friendship that didn't meet my expectations. I thought I had worked through enough friendships in my days that I knew how to handle disappointment. I need to REMEMBER how I had to learn to forgive again.

My ministry with Homemakers and MOPS provided many opportunities to trust God. I want to REMEMBER how He desired that I learn more than I taught.

As I review my year, I remember how much I forgot has happened this year.

In the book of Deuteromy, God tells the Israelites to REMEMBER 15 times. God knows how life seems to go on whether we REMEMBER or not, but if I remember, I learn. I am grateful. I am ready for the New Year.

Theme

Each year Barb encourages the Homemakers women to choose a theme. This theme is something we read books about, search Scripture for, keep in mind as we make decisions, etc.

For 2008 I chose the theme Knowing God.

While that may seem like a rather general and vague theme with no real focus, I heard this quote by Beth Moore and knew that I wanted to know my God better by the end of 2008: "I know my God. I don't understand everything about Him. But I know my God is good. I know my God is love. I know my God has my best interest in mind."

It made me think...what do I really KNOW about my God?

The following quotes affirmed my chosen theme:
“There’s a lot of people who know about God, there’s fewer people who actually know God.” – Michael Binder

“Some people pray just to pray and some people pray to know God.” - Andrew Murray

“We only trust people we know,” says Martha Tennison. “If you’re really struggling to trust God, it may be because you don’t really know God.”

In the beginning of 2008 I WAS struggling to trust God. I didn't understand the journey He had me on. Throughout the year I realized that I needed to know God in order to trust Him. And then trust brings peace and peace brought me healing.

What a year!!!!

My theme verse for the year was Psalm 9:10, "Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you."

Ginger Garrett says that "God wants you to simply know Him in the present and trust Him with the unspoken ending."

Throughout the year I wrote down verses that taught me about God's character and who God is.

I can look back on my year and say I know God more. I know Him better. I knew Him in sorrow and deep pain. I knew Him in joy. I knew Him in miracles. I knew Him with an unknown future when I moved and didn't have my next home lined up.

When we miscarried I knew God in a different way because of my loss. "When we recognize that God can uniquely use suffering to draw us to himself and to glorify himself, we're able to actually see it as an opportunity to come to KNOW God in a way we haven't KNOWN him before, in a way we couldn't have KNOWN him without the suffering."

God is the source of all good things.
God gives and takes away.
God is my strength and my shield.
God blesses His people with peace.
God's thoughts are not my thoughts. His ways not my ways.
God's words are flawless.
God loves justice.
God searches hearts and minds.
God is righteous.
God performs wonders that cannot be fathomed and miracles that cannot be counted.
God is a refuge for the oppressed.
God determines our steps.
God weighs our motives.
God blesses those who trust in Him.

10,9,8,7,6,5,4,...

3 more days in 2008! How was your year? Did it unfold like you had hoped it would? Did you make a difference in somebody else's life?

I love to review each year as it comes to a close. Some years are easier to evaluate than others, but by reviewing the year just gone by, I am more mindful of where I may be going.

As women, we are probably all exhausted after a busy Christmas week, but take time with me to answer just a few question in your head if nothing else. At some point, write down the answers and then keep them in a place you can refer to in the years to come. This will give you a synopsis of your life!

What was the 'moment of the year' for you in 2008?
(If you can't answer that this year, keep it in mind for 2009. It helps you slow down and live 'in the moment'!)

What was the best choice you made this year?

Who influenced you the most in 2008?

Who do you think YOU influenced the most in 2008?

What was good for you this year?

How many books did you read this year?

Remember that phase we use alot in this blog: "the people you meet, the books you read and the choices you make" will determine the person you will become.

Hopefully, you are pleased with who you have become in 2008, if not, maybe this will give you incentive for making specific New Year's Resolutions.

Don't Forget...

It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year!

Today I paused in the middle of my long 'to do' list to read a Christmas card from a friend. She always writes a special Christmas poem each year. This one brought all my senses to life and got me excited for celebrating Christmas ...whether I am ready or not. Take a moment to enjoy:

Christmas Gifts

Seeing Christmas...
A child's eyes reflecting wonder
from lights and glistening snow

Hearing Christmas...
Carols and sleigh bells and laughter
Santa's HO-HO-HO

Smelling Chrismas...
Cinnamon and nutmeg
The pungency of pine

Tasting Christmas...
Gingerbread and sugar cookies
Hot cider and spiced wine

Feeling Christmas...
Hugs from friends and family
bring warmth to Christmas morn

Knowing Christmas...
The gift of hope to all the world
Jesus Christ was born

@Debbie Pea

It's the most wonderful time of the year, start celebrating!

Let it go

Ok I have 3 words for all of us women who are striving to be wise...wise in our homes, wise with our families, wise in our work:

Let

It

Go

At this point, 4 days before Christmas, there is a good chance that everything you have planned to do might not get done.

That's ok. Let it go.

The shopping, baking, Christmas cards, cooking, decorating, scheduling, picture-taking, planning, etc, etc.

It most likely won't all get done. And if it does all get done, it might be at the expense of you losing sleep, or not spending time with family, or being crabby with your spouse or kids because they are preventing you from getting it all done.

If you are feeling tired or overwhelmed or frustrated or stressed then....

Let

It

Go

Change your menu plans and cook something simpler. Don't worry about finding the 'perfect' gift. Wait until after the holidays to do some of the things you were hoping to get done pre-Christmas.

It's ok. Really. It is.

I'm 4 days out from Christmas and my baby announcements and thank yous (which are my Christmas cards) are still piled high on the table.

I will get some sent. But not all.

Oh well. I'm letting it go.

Home Improvement...Serving Others

The woman who serves others is the "person who reaches her hand into the darkness to help another hand out into the light and discovers it is her own!"

I know I need to serve others.

I know I want to serve others.

I just get tired and pulled in so many directions that I often lose the vision I need.

Join me this weekend in Home Improvement...Serving Others, to pray this prayer when our energy is low and the demands on our time and money are great:

O Christ, do not give me tasks equal to my powers,
but give me powers equal to my tasks,
for I want to be stretched by things too great for me.
I want to grow through the greatness of my tasks,
but I shall need your help for the growing. (E.Stanley Jones)

When I 'help another hand out into the light' during this Christmas season, I hope to find my own hand...and that it is stronger.

Joy in serving

I think part of serving at Christmas is remembering...

If serving comes from a heart of gratitude than we need to remember our blessings and serving will come easier.

However, this time of year can be very difficult for some people. I know there are people who are finding it tough to be thankful and are lacking in the area of joy.

These people are still waiting on the Lord for their unanswered prayer. They are waiting to hear the results of a medical test. They are watching their marriage fall apart. Their family is not talking with one another. They have experienced loss and this will be the first Christmas without a loved one. A relationship has left them broken and filled with pain. They are job less and money is scarce during 'the most wonderful time of the year.'

For those of you who might find yourself in this category - it's ok. It's ok to hurt. To be angry. To ask God your questions. To cry.

But through that pain-filled heart I still encourage you to look around and find the blessings in your life.

Then find someone to whom you can be a blessing. You might think you have nothing to offer if you are broken or sad or lonely this Christmas. But in reality, you can bring immense joy to others when you serve them out of a heart that is hurting. What a precious gift you give to another when you serve in the midst of your own pain or loss.

God will honor that. He will bless that. And I believe, you will find a joy that comes, not from your circumstances, but from deep within.

"The only ones around you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. " - Albert Schweitzer

Serving with a Smile...

Women serve at Christmas time. Ok, so we serve all year long, but Christmas just magnifies all that we to do so our family has memories, good food, special presents, fabulous decorations, an attractive home, harmony and happiness!

Carol Travilla, in her book Caring Without Wearing, warns about becoming a perfectionist when serving. She lists 5 unrealistic expectations that can contribute to burnout while serving:

1. There should not be any limits to what I can do

2. I have the capacity to help everyone

3. I am the only person available to help

4. I must never make a mistake

5. I have the ability to change another person

I don't consider myself a perfectionist, but I feel like I may crash and burn at times when I start believing these false expectations.

Christmas is a perfect time to serve with a smile. It is a time to reach out to others. It is also a good time to evaluate if you are truly serving or if you are trying to be all things to all people.

Stacy cited a verse in yesterday's posting:

"Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not men." Ephesians 6:7

If we stay focused on serving the Lord, I think we can avoid the 5 unrealistic expectations and we will be able to serve with a smile...at Christmas and during the rest of the year!

An opportunity to serve

Yesterday Barb mentioned serving...

I can't think of a better way to honor Christ's birth than by serving others during the Christmas season! I think our ideas of serving vary greatly from person to person. But we all have opportunities to serve if we look around!

For example,
As an individual, think of someone you can serve in the next week...maybe a co-worker who wouldn't expect it or a parent or a friend.

Or, grab a few friends and plan a way to serve others as a group: go to a homeless shelter and serve food. Volunteer at a food shelf. Adopt a family and plan to serve them anonymously. Go shopping and buy some toys for a local organization.

Or, if you are married, talk with your spouse (and kids?) and find out how they would like to serve. Is there a family you know of who could use a meal or some gifts this Christmas? Maybe there are some parents who could use a night out while you watch their kids? Look around you and notice those in need.

Maybe serving is just the gift of your presence...rather than presents. A listening ear for the elderly or a single mom? A plate of cookies for a family. A evening of encouragement for someone in need of joy this holiday season.

Whatever you do "Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not men." Ephesians 6:7

Tradition...

Saturday was December 13th. Every year for the past 25 years or so our family has celebrated Santa Lucia Day,the 13th of December. I began this tradition when my kids were very young in hopes to instill in them the 'magic' of serving others and a way to reach out to people who didn't celebrate Christ's birth. Each year I would introduce a new cookie that would go along with a Christmas tradition and we would focus on the meaning and background of that tradition. Everything was done by candlelight and that made the 'magic' of the day memorable.

It became an overwhelming task as the cookies began stacking up and the kids invited their friends over for our Santa Lucia 'feast'. Nonetheless, I enjoyed the kids' involvement and anticipation even when they were in college and out of the house. I looked forward to meeting their friends and loved having a venue that would encourage them to share with others.

Last week, my niece borrowed my Santa Lucia scrapbooks. Her 7 year old daughter needed to share a custom with her 1st grade class, so my niece wanted more info on how we celebrated, but didn't want to get as elaborate as my celebration had gotten. The reason for this posting is to share about her telephone call she made to me Friday night:

"Barb, you did this 'Santa Lucia thing' different every year! I think I see some possibility in doing this if I don't have to be so rigid in tradition."

When talking about this tradition with her earlier, I had emphasized the years that things went smoothly. I didn't think she needed to hear all the times I was frustrated and disappointed. I didn't think she needed to hear about the times I cried to my husband that my plans weren't coming together.

After talking with her, I realized it was because of my shortcomings that she decided she could take on this celebration. She realized she could make it as big or as small as she wanted to, depending on what each year looked like.

Too often we put our best foot forward, trying to make everything look like a success. Success comes in trying.

Christmas...traditions...family time...is meant to be special, not perfect. I encourage you to continue to try different celebrations and make the most of them every year. That's what will make memories and that is what will turn a celebration into a tradition that will fit your family.

Home Improvement...Christmas Giving!

Think Outside the Box!

As you prepare for your Christmas celebration and gift giving time, think of ways to share your gifts that make it fun to give rather than receive.

The last few Christmases, we've decided we needed to add some levity to our Christmas morning so we incorporated a TV game to help us distribute the gifts.

One year, we made up our own version of 'Deal or No Deal'. It was the 1st year that program was popular. My husband and I made sheets of paper to represent the suitcases that are popular on the TV show. My husband was the banker and he called my cell phone to offer a 'deal' to whoever was picking a suitcase. The excitement mounted as the deal started at $1.00 and continued to increase to $5, $10 and even $25! It extended our Christmas day and we still talk about the fun.

Last year, we decided to have all the adults bring 5 small gifts to exchange with one another. We put them in a big pile, and then played a 'match game'. We had teams that tried to 'match' family photos that I had blown up and had turned upside down. As matches were made, a gift was opened. After all the gifts were opened, we played the 'dice' game that let us swap gifts away from one another.

The memories we made playing the games have surpassed the gifts that were exchanged.

Improve your family interaction this Christmas and think outside the box. I have a new game I hope to try out this year, share your Christmas gift-giving habits with us.

A homemade Christmas

Last Christmas I received two homemade gifts that were so memorable...

The first was a beautiful crocheted blanket. We use it almost every day and it is a gift that I will always treasure and I think of the friend who made it every time I wrap myself in it.

The second was a jar with the makings for scones. I had never eaten scones, much less made them. They were delicious. I just added the 'wet' ingredients and enjoyed this tasty gift.

This Christmas season, I challenge you to MAKE at least ONE Christmas gift. It's a challenge that I am taking upon myself as well and I hope you'll consider it!

If you are used to making gifts, make a few more than normal. But if making homemade gifts is not your style, then just start with one.

Here are a couple ideas:
Crochet or knit (I've been working on a gift for almost a year....maybe it will be done by Christmas?)
Make a plate of Christmas treats and give to friends, neighbors or family
Make a booklet of coupons for the recipient to redeem throughout the year
A DVD slideshow of pictures throughout the year

Please comment and share what homemade gifts you make or ones that you have received that were memorable.

Let's make this year a homemade, memorable, from-the-heart Christmas.

JUST DO IT!

"Don't tell me you will do it...JUST DO IT!" Those words probably ring in my kids' ears today, because my husband and I were constantly telling them that good intentions didn't count, actions did. They could tell us over and over again how they were going to clean their rooms, improve their grades or use better manners, but we were never impressed until we saw actual changes in their behavior that brought about changes in their grades, cleanliness or manners.

I recalled that phrase..."Don't tell me you will do it...JUST DO IT!" as I walked out of the Galleria shopping center tonight. I was convicted as I read Stacy's posting yesterday. It encouraged everyone to give their 'presence', not 'presents' this year. I told myself yesterday how I agreed with that...and then I went shopping.

Wow, is it easy to get caught up in the hype and glitter of THINGS. I suddenly felt I needed to purchase items I never even considered before stepping into some of the stores. My 'presence' paled in comparison to some of the 'presents' I could buy with my Visa card.

I came home and pulled out some journals of years gone by. I had a habit of writing down what I was thankful for everyday between Thanksgiving and Christmas. I tried to extend the list daily, never duplicating anything. I made a point of writing down at least one if not more things or people I was thankful for before I would make my Christmas lists. That exercise trained me over the years to focus on what I had, not what I needed to buy. It helped me focus on WHY I was buying something for someone and it helped me develop a giving spirit. My 'presence' was actually worth something to others if I had a thankful spirit within me. I stopped that discipline a few years ago, thinking I knew what I was thankful for and just knowing that would carry me through. Wrong.

I am not going to tell you that I am going to start this exercise of writing out what I am thankful for between now and Christmas. I am not going to just say I will be more mindful of giving my 'presence' to others this Christmas. I am just going to DO IT!

450 Billion on Christmas Gifts???

We saw this video at church last night. It was really powerful and I've been contemplating it ever since.

Please watch:




I love gifts. I mean I really love gifts. I love giving them. I love buying them. I love opening them. I just love finding the right gift for the right person. But this time of year we can get so caught up in the obligation of giving that we lose our focus and the purpose of giving.

I hope you take up the challenge presented in the video: buy ONE less gift this year. Less presents - more presence.

Check out this web site for ideas on celebrating the Chrismas season in different ways this year: http://www.rethinkingchristmas.com/

Home Improvement-for the Holidays!

As you get into 'high-gear' this weekend to finish your decorating or start your shopping, pick up a 3 ring binder and start recording your activities and plans.

In Simplify Your Holidays, Marcia Ramsland recommends 6 tabs to keep you on track:
The Plan
Gifts
Cards & Decorations
Events
December 1-25
Food

Looking back at past Christmases, it would be helpful to have this all written down and it would be such a good reminder of things that went right and also for those areas I needed to improve on.

Check out her website: www.organizingpro.com and click on downloads for a few free hints.

I love this quote from her book:

"Holidays are as much a matter of organization as they are a matter of the heart.
The two work together. Organization during the holidays IS an expression of the heart."

You are going to be putting together a Christmas for your family this year, you might as well start recording it and give yourself direction for the years to come.

A book for the Christmas season

Today I'm making a book recommendation for the Christmas season: Unafraid by Francine Rivers. I think I did this last year as well, but I was so impacted by this book that I encourage you to check it out of your local library and read it as we head into Christmas. It is a small book and a quick read!

It will challenge your perspective of the Christmas story. It will remind you of the miracle of it all. It will help you refocus on what is important in the weeks to come.

Samuel: Two months

In case you're wondering about my cute little miracle man, yesterday was Samuel's two-month birthday so we did a little birthday photo shoot...

You can check out the pictures here: www.samuelmay.com

Thanks to all of you who continue to pray for the adoption process.

Are You a Planner?

In life, there are those who plan...and those who are more 'free-spirited'!

At Christmas, I think everyone needs to plan! The time is short and there is so much to do, I don't think you can just 'let things happen'.

Marcia Ramsland has a new book out called Simplify Your Holidays. It is a great resource for you 'free-spirited' women. She suggests that you start your Christmas planning in Oct, so you know that alot of planning is necessary according to the experts.

One idea she promotes is to make notes of all you do each year.
I have kept a notebook over the years, not as extensive as she would like, but I use it as a resource to keep all my Christmas recipes and ideas. I also keep track of gifts I give, so I don't duplicate giving my co-workers or sunday school teachers, candles or Avon every year.

Marcia says to think about giving similar items each year. For example, give all magazine subscriptions to friends one year. The next year, give them all spa certificates or give all of them books. That way you can do one-stop shopping and check off a good numbers of recipients from your list.

If you mail out alot of gifts, you may enjoy shopping at Von Maur. They offer interest-free credit, free gift wrap and NO shipping fee.

Being intentional and planning this year will save you time and money.

An intentional Christmas

As wise women, we strive to make choices intentionally. Our goal is to daily live out our purpose, priorities and principles.

During the Christmas season, it is so easy to let these slide.

Lets challenge one another this month to make choices wisely...deliberately...intentionally.

Every November a friend calls me and says lets get dates on the calendar for December. We plan to work on our Christmas cards together. We plan a day to bake Christmas cookies with a few family members. We plan events that are priorities in our life and we don't want the month to slip by without those happening.

I am so grateful for this friend and how she intentionally pursues me.

Make the choice to live out your priorities this month: whether that be family, friends, your faith, your home, etc.

Plan a new tradition. Take time to read the Christmas story each week. Take photographs that reflect the Christmas season. Call a friend who might be having a hard time and meet her for coffee. Turn on the Christmas music and let the true meaning of Christmas minister to your heart.

Living intentionally requires effort and planning on our part. Lets start today!

Cyber Monday...

Today is supposed to be the busiest day on the internet for shopping...Check out these sights:

www.mysimon.com
nexttag.com

Or this is good for additional coupons!:

http://www.couponcabin.com/


Just a reminder before you click "order" or before you head to the mall, make a list of all the gifts you need to buy. Write the names of who you need to buy for and one short statement of why you are buying for them. It will put your heart in the right mood for sharing with others and give you the right motive for shopping.
If you can't write a reason for buying for that person, perhaps you will do better this year to renew that relationship by spending time with them...or deleting them from your list.

Be intentional in your shopping this Christmas. This time of year, I like to recall a definition of maturity I read along time ago. You are mature when you can 'carry money without spending it'