A Quick (?) Question...

I was asked the other day what I thought of the ‘superwoman syndrome’. You know, the woman who gets herself into such a habit of taking on everyone else’s burdens, she is overloaded herself. I was asked if this was a phenomenon of today’s generation, or did I experience or see women in my generation always over extending themselves. Well the quick answer is ‘Yes’! I think both generations have a tendency towards this habit. Can I answer this question by prefacing please listen to what I say and not by what I do? I too, am plagued by the superwoman syndrome. I can relate to it in every respect. Maybe the most help I can give is to say that if there was one area I would like to go back and have a ‘do over’ it would be in this area. No one pointed out to me what a ‘white tornado’ I was…thinking I was taking care of messes, but really just creating new ones. I did it with a sincere heart, but also an unreal expectation of what I could possibly accomplish. I felt I needed to be all things to all people at times. Slowly I have gained perspective and experience. Slowly, I have come to see the need for me to constantly be in touch with the Lord about all that I want to take on. In the book, Lies Women Believe, the author, Nancy Leigh De Moss says the number one lie women believe is “I don’t have time to do every thing I’m supposed to do.” 70% say they believe this lie. Women say they are “so busy…exhausted…can’t keep up with everything…” and that is inspite of having the “equivalent of 50 full-time servants, in the form of modern, timesaving devices…” The Truth is “that all I have to do is the work God assigns to me.” It sounds simplistic, but looking back on my life, I see that I took on responsibilities on my own and became overloaded. By constantly doing that, it became a habit and a way of life. It was my identity to overextend myself to others. I bought into another lie that Nancy mentions and that is “I can do it all”. That is the ultimate superwoman syndrome and the two lies are at the core of her belief system. My answer to this dilemma would be two- fold. One is to replace the lies with truth and that means to fill your mind with what you are responsible for. Take time to identify what your ‘purpose’ is for your season in life and then live within that purpose. Name the people you are responsible for and make sure they are taken care of on a constant basis. Make sure you pray about taking on ONE MORE THING if it is outside your given responsibilities. You see when I was your age, I acted on energy and not on focus. I would burn out only after running out of energy. I have learned to run on focus now and that carries me through on an even keel. I have learned to ‘say NO’ and it has freed me up to say ‘YES’ when I really need to say yes. Constant self-talk and God-talk will slowly replace the lies with focus and Truth.
Secondly, I believe a day of rest was mandated by God and given to us as a command in order for us to hear from God that we need to REST! God rested on the 7th day…not because He was exhausted, but because His work was finished!! He rested and He commands us to do the same. How can we REST on the Sabbath if we are burned out or if our work load never ends? I have come to believe that if I go to God and say I am exhausted or frazzled or frustrated with the lack of time in my life the first thing I would hear Him say is, “What are you doing on the Sabbath?” and then perhaps he would have Dr. Phil follow up and say “How’s that working for you?”. If I don’t take a Sabbath day each week, I can’t complain to God. He would say ‘try that first and then we will talk.’ After reordering my habits, I believe I wouldn’t have to talk any further. My mind, body, focus and family would once again be aligned with God’s desire for me to experience an abundant life, not a frazzled life.
Try applying these two solutions for one month and see if God doesn’t reveal a clarity within you that will allow you to sort out what needs to be done on a daily basis. It sounds easy, but it’s not. It will take discipline, determination, an ability to say NO over and over again and a mindset that is filled with scripture that constantly reminds you of Who is in control. A ‘buddy’ to hold you accountable may be just the ticket to keep you on track. This is another ‘counter cultural’ decision and you will have to ‘stay the course’ in order to see the results you are hoping for.
God bless you. My prayer is that you learn from this older woman so you won’t be wanting to have a ‘do over’ in your precious life.
“Teach me to number my days aright, that I may gain a heart of wisdom” Ps 90:12 What a great verse to begin meditating on to get you to believe the TRUTH!