Friday, February 27

Silly Advice...?

Anonymous left this comment on our last posting:

That is the silliest advice I have heard on marriage. I totally disagree with the notion that we will (left to our own) tear each other down and be selfish. The best marriages are ones that are strong from the start - ones with people who actually love each other. If you find yourself working that hard to keep your marriage together then I suggest taking a look at why you got married in the first place. In looking at my friends the best marriages are the ones that require the least amount of work. If you are working non-stop then perhaps you errored in who you married or have the wrong focus. Just my two cents.

Thank you for the feedback! It is nice to hear from the readers and get some discussion going.

There is a law of nature, the law of disintegration, that states that everything goes from order to disorder...whether it is a new car that is driven off the lot, a new business that starts up or a clean house that is all in order. If left without management and close attention, they all begin to erode. So it is in a marriage. A husband and wife will drift apart if a marriage isn't given the proper attention. Even the best marriages, where two individuals are perfectly in tune with one another, need good habits to sustain a quality relationship and that is what this posting is proporting.

I agree that the best marriages are the ones that are strong from the start, but there are many of those that fall apart over the years if GOOD HABITS aren't in place. The posting was all about the GOOD HABITS that this wife had with her husband..communication, time to enjoy one another, spend time together, etc.

A good marriage takes work. A good marriage is hard sometimes, but so is many worthwhile pursuits.

I can encourage readers that when good habits are put in place in your marriage, your relationship will flourish and grow deep roots. Over time, a marriage with good habits just works...and no longer is considered hard work!

Please keep reading this blog and giving us your two cents, anonymous.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I would agree with the notion that "good habits" are great for marriages. I would just disagree that that was what the original post was about.

"I would be the first to say that keeping my marriage a priority is very difficult in this day and age of our fast-paced society. We are all so busy doing things that are good that we easily lose sight of what is best (i.e. our marriages)."

This is nonsense. If you are happily married then you don't let the "fast-paced" society distract you from the greatest person in your life.

If you want to talk about real "good habits" I would suggest the following"

- Like your spouse. Not "working on liking them" or "loving them in spite of". I mean just really like your spouse. If this is a difficult task than I would agree- work your butt off and buy a bunch of books- it won't get any easier.
- Be yourself. Don't work at or have as a "goal" to come together in your paths in life. Each partner should have their goals/dreams/ambitions and they should pursue those. If you treat the marriage as we must do EVERYTHING together and more or less become one person then- buy lots of books and be prepared for lots of frustration and WORK.

There may be more but if those 2 things were second nature and didn't require thought it would all but eliminate this so-called WORK on a marriage. It would be second nature and you would in most ways subconsciously. Of course from time to time perhaps you will need to discuss something with your spouse or reassess what your goals/plans are but really that goes back to the hard part of LIFE- no marriage.