Lighten Up!

Happy March 1st. If you are getting your taxes ready, wishing your resolutions were coming together and impatient for spring...

this week is for you...our favorite jokes:

A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said: "If you don't do the following, your husband will surely die:

1. Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast.
2. Be pleasant and make sure he is in a good mood.
3. For lunch, make him a nutritious meal.
4. For dinner, prepare him an especially nice meal.
5. Don't burden him with chores as he probably had a hard day.
6. Don't discuss your problems with him.
7. And most importantly, have sex with him several times a week and satisfy his every whim."

On the way home, the husband asked his wife what the doctor said to her,

"You're going to die" she replied.

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A Blonde's Diet:

A blonde is terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on a diet. "I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you , you'll have lost at least 5 pounds."

When the blonde returned, she shocked the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds.

"Why, that's amazing!" the doctor said, "Did you follow my instructions?"

The blonde nodded, "I'll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day."

"From hunger, you mean?" asked the doctor.

"No, from skipping"

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Finally! After 25 years on a deserted island, Joe was being rescued. As he climbed onto the boat, the curious crew noticed 3 small grass huts.

"What are those?" they asked.

"The first one is my home," Joe said, "The second is my church."

"What about the third hut?" the rescuers wanted to know.

"Oh," says Joe, "that's the church I used to belong to."

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Gotta Joke? Please share it. We can all use a good laugh!