Thursday, September 18

A bucket full of sadness

Some people hide their pain. When they've experienced a loss they shut down, hold the hurt inside and try to make it through the day believing in time it will hurt less.

Some people are very private and only share their pain with a select few people with whom they deeply trust.

I, on the other hand, am not necessarily a private person. And when I experience pain and heartache, I need to tell others. I need their prayers. I do not want to walk the road of loss alone.

Here is the quote I tried to reference Tuesday about tears. It explains what is on my heart about others grieving alongside us. This is the quote word-for-word from the author:

So many people are afraid to bring it up. They don’t want to upset me. But my tears are the only way I have to release the deep sorrow I feel. I tell people: “Don’t worry about crying in front of me or be afraid that you will make me cry! Your tears tell me you care, and my tears tell you what you’ve touched me in a place that is meaningful to me- and I will never forget your willingness to share my grief.”

In fact, it is those who shed their tears with me that show me we are not alone. It often feels like we are carrying this enormous load of sorrow, and when others shed their tears with me, it is like they are taking a bucket full of sadness and carrying it for me. It is, perhaps, the most meaningful thing anyone can do for me.

Loss is a part of life and as women we have no choice but to learn how to deal with it. If you feel awkward about another's loss, my advice is simple: get over it. It's not about you anyway.

Here's one last quote that's a gentle reminder about our role in times such as these: "It's not so much what you say to someone grieving, but who you are for that person in his or her crisis."

Do you know who you are when crisis hits? Don't wait another day to find out.

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