Wednesday, February 10

Keeping your eyes half shut. . .

I am going to piggyback off of Barb’s post on Monday if that is okay-mainly because I think it is that important.

Before my husband and I got married we loved to read books on marriage, and one of the best pieces of advice we gleaned from one of those books was to “. . .keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half shut after marriage.” Think about that for a minute-let it soak in.

Think of the marriages you know, did those couples examine their marriage with both eyes wide open before they said, “I do?” Did they look with a critical eye asking themselves if those things that bothered or annoyed them were things they were willing to live with? Then once they were married do they now look at their spouse with eyes half shut? Not knit-picking apart those things that are unimportant?

I made a commitment to myself (and Jeff) early in our marriage that I was not going to talk about my husband, in a negative way, in front of others. Does my husband do things that annoy me? Sure. Do I do things that annoy him-you better believe it, but I make a conscience effort not to talk about those things with others. Not because I want others to think we have a marriage with no fights, but because I decided that I wanted to love Jeff enough to honor him by making him look good to others. I want us (just Jeff and I) to work on those things in our marriage that need to be worked on. I do not need a team of women backing my point-of-view when we get in a fight. If I do that, am I not just looking to be right? And shouldn’t a marriage be about working at it together and seeing each other in the best possible light (seeing your husband as God sees him)? I want to look at the positives that Jeff brings to my life and by not talking to other women about the stupid everyday annoyances it allows me to see him in a better light. I truly believe that what we spend our time focusing on is what we will see. For the sake of your marriage this Valentine's Day, keep those eyes half shut and start building your marriage by keeping your mouth shut!

I hope you and your husband have a very Happy Valentine's Day!

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