Thursday, September 11

I didn't know

When I started this week and wrote about choosing to do hard things in life, I didn’t know.

When I wrote about struggles and challenges and difficult things we face in life, and doing the hard thing in spite of them, I didn’t know.

When I quoted the Do Hard Things book that says doing hard things causes you to grow, I didn’t know.

I didn’t know that this week I would cry buckets of tears.

I didn’t know that this week I would be waking up and wanting to go back to bed because it felt like a nightmare come to life.

I didn’t know this week I would have to Do really Hard Things.

I didn’t know this week, for the second time in my three-year journey to motherhood, I would miscarry my baby.

I didn’t know this week my hard thing to do would be telling two sets of loving parents they lost a grandbaby – again.

I didn’t know this week the hard thing to do would be to love my husband when I just want to lash out in hurt, anger and frustration.

I didn’t know this week the hard thing to do would be trusting a God whose ways I cannot comprehend or understand.

I didn't know this week the hard thing to do would be making recovery plans for tomorrow and the next day and the next, instead of making celebration plans.

I didn’t know. But now I do. And I don’t want to do any of these hard things.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Precious Stacey,

In facing this hard thing, day by day "do the next right thing."

Some of the next right things are:

Mourn - sorrow spilled out in buckets of tears makes room for hope and healing to happen.

Love - your husband knows more than anyone else your sorrow and pain. Hold him, cry with him, and pray with him.

Pray - God can handle your anger, questions, and frustration. He will speak into your life in new ways always drawing you closer to Him. He is GOOD!

You and Ryan are in my prayers.

Love,
Aunt Val

Anonymous said...

Stacy,
I second everything your Aunt Val says...she is a very wise woman! All of us who know you and love you are confused, angry and wondering why...yet we are also praying that God will carry you through!
Love & prayers,
Deanna