Give Them Roots and Wings...But Which Is Harder?

I just sent 'my baby' off again, for graduate study in NYC. He was home a year after college so I had gotten back into the old routine of being a 'mom' in little ways I hadn't even realized. Now his room is empty again and the 'piles' around the home have disappeared as he gathered his belongings to fit into suitcases which he carried out of the house. I sit and ponder the wonder of it all. I read Stacy's last posting and loved the quote about not being able to 'buy' the presence of someone willing to care deeply about the home and the people who come and go. That is a life-long habit that starts small when you are first married. You enter marriage with enthusiasm and determination to be the perfect wife and homemaker, only to find out your husband isn't the perfect husband or the perfect roommate! As the children come, they aren't perfect either and the daily tasks become mundane and often demeaning. It is easy for a wife and mom to look back and wonder what her life would be like if she had made different choices. I think there is a book out entitled, "The Windshield is Wide...the Rear View Mirror is Narrow". I haven't read more than a synopsis of it, but it's premise is that to make it on life's road with ease, you need to keep looking forward and see the big picture. You can't drive the car with any success if you aren't focusing on the road ahead.
Remember the saying that "parents must give their children two things: roots and wings. Give them roots to keep them grounded through tough times. Give them wings to soar above everything, explore new worlds and fly farther than we ever did."
You are giving your husband and your children roots when you let them know they belong and have a support system as they mature. You are also giving yourself roots so you can stand tall when the people you care about start to leave the home. You know what that feels like, the first time you leave your child in the nursery and he doesn't cry when you leave! The first day of pre-school that tugs at your heart but your little one runs into class with enthusiasm and forgets to say good-bye. The first day of kindergarten...the first day of ______. You fill in the blank. It is then you realize that the roots you nurtured are as much for you as they are for your loved ones.
The 'wings'? Well, they are for your little ones as they mature, but they are also for yourself to realize that through the windshield you can see new opportunities down the road. It takes longer to see the 'wings' take shape, but once they do, they are put to use immediately. So once again, as the 'older woman', I encourage you to pay attention to those deep roots you are tending...on both your children and yourself!