Unrealistic Expectations...

Expectations...we have talked quite abit about them. Unmet expectations, dashed expectations, and now unrealistic expectations. You would think we would learn over the course of our lives to just relax and let things and people just unfold. But no, if you are like me, we tend to want to micro-manage and put alot of expectations on our husbands and friends.

An interesting quote caught me up short the other day. Psychologist Aaron Beck said the "single belief most toxic to a relationship is the belief that the other person cannot change."

Ummm, chew on that for a moment. That means we have hope in our relationships because we are counting on change to happen. We are expecting that eventually the other person will change and over time things will improve. Without that hope, that expectation, that belief, a relationship dies.

That made me think that expectations may not be too off base if it keeps us moving forward in connecting with others, but I think the real wisdom is in turning our expectation and belief back on ourselves. The belief that we are able to change. The hope that we are willing to change.

Unrealistic expectations of others will only frustrate me. A more inspiring and hopeful expectation would be to realize that change is possible within me and maybe that will make change in others not as urgent!

Just for today, I am going to eliminate one unrealistic expectation I have of myself. I am hopeful that will cause me to change ever so slightly and give people in my life a reason to hope that my relationship with them is worth the effort.

May the change begin with ME.