10 Defining Moments

I am not an avid watcher of Dr. Phil but I found two articles by Dr. Phil about one of his books titled, Self Matters. In Self Matters he says you can trace who you've become in this life to three types of external factors: 10 defining moments, seven critical choices, and five pivotal people.

You can read the articles about Defining Moments here and here.

Dr. Phil believes we all have 10 defining moments that have shaped us. We might have more than that, but 10 major moments. A defining moment is anything that has reshaped us in any way - either positive or negative.

Will I look back on my choice not to sleep on the couch as a defining moment in my life or marriage? Who knows. Maybe I will look back at it as a critical choice I made to honor my marriage covenant. Or maybe just a moment where a self-imposed lesson was learned.

At the bottom of Dr. Phil's first article you can follow an exercise and answer questions to help you determine the defining moments of your life thus far. He says this about discovering your defining moments: "When you know your defining moments, life becomes a little less unpredictable, irrational and confusing."

I've been working through this exercise listing out my defining moments, critical choices and pivotal people. It's enlightening.

Won't you try it?