Tuesday, April 8

Celebrate...their way

Have you heard of or read the book The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman? The premise of the book is that we all have languages in which we prefer to show love to others and be loved ourselves.

The languages are:
Quality time
Physical touch
Words of affirmation
Acts of service

It is incredibly valuable to know the way in which you desire to be shown love and the way in which your spouse and other family members desire to be loved.

When it comes to celebrating your spouse’s birthday, this is especially helpful. Case in point: My husband Ryan’s top two love languages are quality time and physical touch. Ryan celebrated his 32nd birthday on March 17. On March 16 we had a get together at his parent’s house with about 11 people. We had lunch together and played the Wii all afternoon. I surprised Ryan with a gift I knew he would enjoy -- a new pair of Rollerblades! It was so fun!

I assumed that because we were all together that afternoon, that was plenty of quality time for Ryan.

Not so.

He informed me that spending time with 10 other people was not the one-on-one quality time that fills his love tank. So on Monday night, March 17, we ate dinner at home together, watched a movie and just hung out. He loved it! I wanted to go out. I wanted to do something. I wanted to celebrate him!

Turns out, I wanted to celebrate my way, not his.

His idea of celebrating was staying home and having quality time with his wife. And that's exactly what we did.

I highly recommend The Five Love Languages book (there is one written about children's love languages as well). And I especially recommend putting what you learn into practice when it comes to celebrating your husband’s birthday!

While I know my husband will enjoy his Rollerblades, and I REALLY enjoyed giving them to him because I have gift giving as a love language, I learned some good lessons this year about being mindful of how my husband wants to celebrate.

Wow…it’s only taken me 7 years!

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