Questions...

Stacy and Ryan are in the middle of purchasing a new home. It hasn't been a quick process. After looking at many homes, Stacy finally found a home she loved. It needed abit of work in the kitchen, but otherwise it was in move-in condition. Ryan liked it as well, but it was on the top end of what they wanted to spend on a home.

The problem was their Realtors. Their Realtors didn't share their enthusiasm for the house.

"The interior didn't have the best flow to it"

"The neighborhood didn't support the price of the home"

"It appeared to be over-priced with no apparent price adjustment in sight"

And their Realtors were Stacy's in-laws...Ryan's parents (that would be me and my husband!)

When we started to express our concern, I was impressed with the questions Stacy started to ask. She needed clarification. She needed to understand Real Estate fundamentals. She needed to think out loud by asking questions.

I watched her interact with Ryan and Dean (her father-in-law)and was impressed with her response. She continued to drill them in a very logical and calm manner until she was satisfied with the answer. She re-stated what was said to her to make sure she was on the same page as Dean. She asked a different question when she didn't understand what Dean was trying to get across to her. Her questions were very direct and to the point.

I told my husband as we left Ryan and Stacy that I was so glad Stacy persisted to gain a perspective about the situation. She didn't react in anger. She didn't 'stuff' her feelings. She didn't whine or complain. She asked questions.

"Thinking Questions" is what Marilee Adams calls it in her book, Change Your Questions, Change Your Life. A young woman wanting to gain perspective and become wise in doing so, asks 'thinking questions' and seeks to understand the answer to those questions. Stacy has a handle on this skill and it will serve her well in the future.

How do you handle a situation you don't understand? Begin asking "thinking questions'.