Wednesday, August 12

What Are You Maintaining?

Are you too busy being a janitor to your stuff to take time to identify what you really love? It took me awhile to realize how much stuff I have that I just move around and dust.

Have I acquired too much of a good thing?

While raising my kids, I added to my possessions thinking I was building my home. Looking back, I wished I had asked myself some key questions:

Am I willing to maintain all this stuff?

Is my space becoming crowded?

Does my stuff give me daily enjoyment?

Do my kids get daily enjoyment from their stuff?

Are they willing to spend time and energy to care for their stuff?

Do I ever feel I have too much 'stuff' around?

Asking key questions rather than nagging my kids to clean their rooms may have been more profitable. If they could truly show me that they loved and maintained their stuff, I could have backed off abit.

Idealistic? Perhaps, but I think too much of life is just maintenance.

I am living lighter these days. I am trying to surround myself with stuff I truly love.

Try it in your home and see if you don't love the freedom it brings.

Monday, August 10

A Blessing or a Burden?

Frank Lloyd Wright said:

"Many wealthy people are little more than the janitors of their possessions!"

Frank Lloyd Wright was an architect with very modern designs. His homes didn't avail themselves to alot of 'clutter'. He used sleek lines and open spaces.

Nowadays I don't think we have to be wealthy to be janitors of our possessions. The mini-storage business is a new phenomenon for this generation and it is a booming business. We can even own a home with sleek lines and open spaces and still collect stuff!
The self-storage industry grew from about 289 million square feet in 1984 to nearly 2.2 billion square feet by the end of 2007, according to the Self Storage Association.
We pay to store our stuff!

Without looking around your home, make a list this week of all the things you truly LOVE in your daily life.

Then categorize them:

Clothes
Furniture
Accessories
House
Pets
Garden/yard
Car
Appliances

Is the maintenance of all this stuff a blessing or a burden?

Wednesday, August 5

Home Improvement - literally!

These days Ryan and I are working on some house projects. We are finishing our attic (painting, carpet, and a little sheetrocking, mudding, taping, etc.), getting new windows and we had to buy a new storm door for the front of our house.

In all these decisions we are weighing time, money, and quality. Some projects we are doing ourselves to save money. Some we are asking friends and family for help. Some we are hiring contractors to get them done quickly (hopefully before baby girl arrives in about 5 weeks!).

As we look at our options, I have been talking with Ryan's parents and trying to determine what is best for our family, what is good quality, what is economical and what would be best for resale.

There are so many things to consider!

We don't plan on moving anytime soon. But I am also not naive enough to think we'll be in this house until our kids are grown (not sure the kitchen has room enough for the food it will take to feed multiple teenagers :).

I find it stressful and tiring to call contractors, get estimates, weigh our options and then hire someone. It is so time consuming...and it's emotionally draining.

But at the same time, trying to do all this ourselves is stressful and time consuming. We are not exactly home project people!

I want to do what is best for resale, but I also want to make decisions in the best interest of our family. I want to create a space that we love, will be comfortable in and will use because it is to our liking. I desire good quality, without choosing the most expensive options.

I'm asking the Lord to give us wisdom and unity in our decision-making, to help move these projects along quickly and for peace regardless of whether or not this all gets completed in time for our new baby.

It's times like these that I am reminded that clear communication is essential in a marriage relationship. I am reminded that our money is not our own - God is the one providing for us, for our family and for our home. I am reminded that it takes time, work, and energy to make a house a home. I am reminded of Psalm 127:1 "Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labor in vain."

Friday, July 31

Home Improvement...Learn to be Present

The Bible gives good instruction on how to be present in the moment. How to really live for today:

There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,

a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,

a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,

a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,

a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,

a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

It's simple truth: There is a time for everything...Everything changes

When I realized that my young son would be chattering in my ear for just a few short years, I embraced that time and began to listen. I began to be present in the moment.

For home improvement this weekend, ponder this truth...everything changes; live in the moment this weekend and learn.

Thursday, July 30

Be Present

Before you can 'show up' in your kids' lives, you first have to 'be present'.

When our first born, Ryan was about 4 years old, he developed into a very talkative little guy. He could win the hearts of everyone because he had something to say to everyone. His bright smile and large vocabulary encouraged everyone to stop and hear him out. At the bank, the grocery store, church and family gatherings, Ryan was a hit!

At home, however, he was like a broken record...talk, talk, talk! It didn't take me long to figure out that I could 'pretend' to listen to him while I actually was planning my week's menu, mentally reorganized my closet or rehearsed a request I wanted to ask my husband that evening.

That was fine with Ryan. As long as I smiled occasionally, nodded my head or gave a grunt, he assumed his words were heard.

I developed some bad habits by doing that. I began tuning out my husband. I began fakng it with my young daughter. I was creating a whole world within my head in order to get through the day without all the chattering and interruptions knocking me off track.

Thankfully, the error of this 'perfect plan' was revealed to me when questions starting coming from my young son. Questions that needed answers. He wasn't going to let me grunt or nod. He wanted my presence...all of it.

I think God designed my first born to be such a talker to teach me this lesson. I was home with my kids, but often not present. Thankfully, God nudged me to change my ways.

I thought about that this weekend as I pondered the impact of 'showing up' at Dan's graduation. I wondered if 'showing up' as a mom would really mean anything if I hadn't learned to be present along the way. To listen. To pay attention. To know what was important to my child. To notice what I was learning in the process.

Be present today in the lives of your loved ones. Only then will it matter if you 'show up'.

Tuesday, July 28

The Importance of Showing Up

My husband and I had differing views about visiting our son this past weekend. He was 'graduating' from the Army's Officers Boot Camp in San Antonio, Tx. Dean wanted to see the ceremony. He wanted to compare the Army base and all its components to the Marine base he had served in years ago.

He wanted to encourage Dan in this area of his life as he knew from experience the road Dan was stepping onto.

As much as I wanted to see our son and celebrate this achievement, I also considered the economy and our business and put in my 2 cents that perhaps we should re-consider going.

But Dean found some reasonable airline tickets, rented a car and received bonus points for a hotel from our other son, Ryan, so we made plans to go.

The morning of our flight I saw an article by Ada Alden in our neighborhood newspaper. She is a guest columnist from time to time. She also was an instructor in the 'Mommy and Me' program that I took our 2 oldest kids to when they were preschoolers. She had great influence in my parenting then, and as I read her article, she influenced me once again!

The title of her column was, "The Importance of Showing Up". Her life lesson in this column was simple and direct, "I believe there is great value in showing up and being present. Take time to be with those you cherish...snatch now the moments--moments matter."

Those words echoed in my ears all weekend. As we saw the vast acres of the base, walked the dry, hot fields where PT training was evaluated, shopped the commissary and showed my ID over and over again, I began to once again see the value in 'showing up'. Those moments gave me a glimpse of what Dan's life as a soldier was like.

Somewhere along the line, parenting changes. It becomes more a matter of spending time with those you love and cherish.

"Showing up" is what teaches you about the people you love.

'Showing up' is what you get to do as a parent.

Thursday, July 23

Why Read?

Wow, if Stacy didn't give you enough reasons yesterday to start reading, here is one more!

I heard a speaker say once that the reason he read books was that it gave him HOPE. I didn't really understand the full depth of that until I took a serious look at what I was reading.

That has been a guideline for me as I choose books. Do they give me HOPE? Or are they just taking up my time?

Fiction books can give me hope as long as they have a storyline that is uplifting. Books that are based on values that I am trying to follow. I am reading one this summer that is thought-provoking yet hopeful. Glittering Images, by Susan Howatch is about a young clergyman who puts forth a wonderful image in his ministry, but is haunted by who he really is. I am not finished with it yet, but so far, it is a book that bring me hope as I wrestle with the main character and his quest for authenticity.

Biographies are wonderful books that can implant hope to the reader. But not all biographies do that! I have begun reading biographies only to stop reading them as they offer no hope. They are just talking about a person's life with no direction or hope woven within the lines. It was all about the person, but little more.

Corrie Ten Boom's The Hiding Place and Elizabeth Elliot's Through Gates of Splendor are two exceptional picks for summer reading.

the organic God by Margaret Feinberg is just plain HOPEFUL!

Become a woman of HOPE by reading books that build that HOPE within you.

Wednesday, July 22

Summer reading

Are you reading any good books this summer? My usual reading selection has pretty much been replaced by books on sleeping, eating, schedules, pregnancy, etc, etc. Not to mention my daily readings of Curious George and the Hungry Catepillar when my little guy is snuggled in my lap and we're rocking together.

But I have managed to squeeze in some fun, relaxing summer reading as well. I hope you have too!

In case you think reading 'isn't your thing,' here are some benefits to developing consistent reading habits (taken from inewsindia.com):

Reading is an active mental process: Unlike sitting in front of the idiot box (TV), reading makes you use your brain. While reading you would be forced to reason out many things which are unfamiliar to you. In this process you would use the grey cells of your brain to think and become smarter.

Reading improves your vocabulary: Remember in elementary school when you learned how to infer the meaning of one word by reading the context of the other words in the sentence? You get the same benefit from book reading. While reading books, especially challenging ones, you will find yourself exposed to many new words you wouldn’t be otherwise.

Gives you a glimpse into other cultures and places of the world: How would you know about the life of people in Mexico if you don’t read about it? Reading gives you an insight into the diversity of ethnicity of people, their customs, their lifestyles etc. You become more aware about the different places and the code of conduct in those places.

Improves concentration and focus: It requires you to focus on what you are reading for long periods. Unlike magazines, Internet posts or e-Mails that might contain small chunks of information, books tell the whole story. Since you must concentrate in order to read, like a muscle, you will get better at concentration.

Builds self-esteem: The more you read, the more knowledgeable you become. With more knowledge comes more confidence. More confidence builds self-esteem. So it’s a chain reaction. Since you are so well read, people look to you for answers. Your feelings about yourself can only get better.

Improves memory: Many studies show if you don’t use your memory, you lose it. Crossword puzzles are an example of a word game that staves off Alzheimer’s. Reading, although not a game, helps you stretch your memory muscles in a similar way. Reading requires remembering details, facts and figures and in literature, plot lines, themes and characters.

Improves your discipline: Making time to read is something we all know we should do, but who schedules book reading time every day? Very few… That’s why adding book reading to your daily schedule and sticking to it, improves discipline.

Improves creativity: Reading about diversity of life and exposing yourself to new ideas and more information helps to develop the creative side of the brain as it imbibes innovation into your thinking process.

You always have something to talk about: Have you ever found yourself in an embarrassing situation where you didn’t have anything to talk about? Did you hate yourself for making a fool of yourself? Do you want a remedy for this? It’s simple. Start reading. Reading widens your horizon of information. You’ll always have something to talk about. You can discuss various plots in the novels you read, you can discuss the stuff you are learning in the business books you are reading as well. The possibilities of sharing become endless.

Reduces boredom: One of the rules I have is if I am feeling bored, I will pick up a book and start reading. What I’ve found by sticking to this is that I become interested in the book’s subject and stop being bored. I mean, if you’re bored anyway, you might as well be reading a good book, right?

I hope a few of those points encourage you to continue reading or challenge you to start today. Grab a book, head for the great outdoors (or cool AC), and enjoy the printed word.

Have you read a good book this summer? If so, please share!

Friday, July 17

Home Improvement...Don't Forget Your Vegetables!

Have a great dinner with my recipes this weekend!

Grill some chicken that has been marinated in the sauce

Make the Late-summer salad...so good!

Indulge in the S'mores, but only after you've had your vegetables:

Grilled Potato Fans

6 medium baking potatoes
2 medium onions, halved and thinly sliced
6 tablespoons butter
1/4 cup finely chopped celery
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon dried oregano
1/4 teaspoon garlic powder
1/4 teaspoon pepper

With a sharp knife, make cuts 1/2 inch apart in each potato, leaving slices attached at the bottom. Fan the potatoes slightly. Place each on a piece of heavy-duty foil. Insert onion and butter between potato slices. Sprinkle with celery, salt, oregano, garlic powder and pepper. Fold foil around potatoes and seal tightly. Grill, covered over medium-hot heat for 40-45 minutes or until tender.

Thursday, July 16

Tasty Grillin'

This recipe was given to me by my friend, Debbie who LOVES GOOD food. She very discriminating! Her husband loves to grill. He has 2 charcoal grills and one gas grill and is always trying something new. They love this marinade, so don't discount it because it is easy. It is great!

EASIEST barbecue sauce for chicken:

12 oz bottle of Red Devil Cayenne

8 oz Italian Dressing

That's it!! Put in ziplock bag and add chicken breast. Marinade overnight.

Wednesday, July 15

S'mores!

I tried these easy bars on the 4th of July and they were much easier than roasting s'mores over the firepit! Very chocolate and good...

S'mores Bars

8 to 10 whole graham crackers
1 pkg fudge brownie mix (13x9 inch pan size)
2 cups miniature marshmallows
1 cup (6 ounces) semisweet chocolate chips
2/3 cup chopped peanuts

Arrange graham crackers in a single layer in a greased 9x13 pan. Prepare the brownie batter according to package directions. Spread over crackers. Bake at 350 degrees for 25-30 minutes. Sprinkle with marshmallows, chocolate chips and peanuts. Bake 5 minutes longer or until marshmallows are slightly puffed and golden brown. (I had to leave mine in oven longer than 5 minutes to get the marshmallows to turn a golden brown). Cool on a wire rack before cutting. About 2 dozen.

Yum!

Tuesday, July 14

Summer Treats

If you only make one salad this summer, make this one! It is scrumptious. Heidi brought it to our last Homemakers meeting this spring, and I have been making it for all my summer celebrations. I am not sure why it is called a 'late' summer salad but just try it, you will love it!

Heidi's Late Summer Salad

1 head romaine lettuce

1 cup fancy shredded swiss cheese

¼ cup craisins

1 cup cashews(salted)

1 apple, diced (gala)

1 pear, diced



dressing: (make earlier to marinate)



½ cup sugar

2 tsp minced onion flakes

½ tsp salt

1 Tbsp poppy seeds

1/3 cup lemon juice

1 tsp dijan mustard

2/3 cup vegetable oil

Thursday, July 9

The role of marriage in parenting

I was listening to a couple authors recently who were discussing the role marriage in parenting. What they had to say was pretty profound:

"The strength of the parent/child relationship is dependent on the quality of the husband/wife relationship. You might always strive to be a sacrificial mother, but you will never be a better mom than what you are as a wife."

Did you get that? The quality of the mother/child relationship is dependent on the quality of the husband/wife relationship.

The two go hand in hand! I can try to be a great mom, but if my relationship with Ryan is lacking, so will my relationship with my kids. Kids need to know that their parents are in love and committed to one another. They need to feel it. They need to see it.

The authors went on to say, "When you put the husband/wife relationship on the back burner in the name of good parenting, the kids will ask - how are mommy and daddy doing? They need to know parents love each other."

This is exactly what I needed to hear. As I get ready to enter into a season of chaos and business with two little ones, I want to make sure my marriage is not put on the back burner. My time and energy will not be evenly split, but I can still strive to make sure my marriage is first priority...and that I am a great wife so I can be a great mom!

Wednesday, July 8

The Ebb and Flow of Marriage

I haven't seen any episodes of Jon and Kate, but I've seen the headlines about their unhappy home life. Too bad there can't be one reality show that shows the tough times but then goes on to show how to resolve those hurdles.

I agree with Stacy, that a husband and wife need to fight to keep their relationship solid before pouring their efforts into the kids.

Experts say that marriages go through cycles of hot and cool phases. I've seen that to be true in my 38 years of marriage. It doesn't mean I turn tail and run during the cool times, it means I pay MORE attention to bring variety and interest back into the relationship as hard as that may be.

The cool phases can be potentially deadly for a marriage if problems aren't addressed. Bad habits can set in which will rob any relationship of laughter, love and have total disregard for each other. It's a slippery slope to watch for.

John Gottman is a marriage expert and psychology professor who says there are 4 indicators of imminent danger in marriages. He predicts that a marriage has a 94% chance of divorce if these 4 indicators are present and not dealt with:

1. Complaining
2. Defensiveness
3. Contempt
4. Withdrawal

What a great show Jon and Kate could have if they identified these indicators in their marriage and showed how a couple could work through the issues to reach a deeper understanding and love for one another. It can be done, but the common belief is that "it just wasn't meant to be, if it takes that much work."

When we have to work hard for something, we appreciate it more. We see it's value and it becomes precious and worthwhile. Marriages were intended to last a lifetime, despite what Kate might think. It is in the context of marriage that we can become all that God meant us to be...a child of God, wife, mom, friend and so much more. It takes a lifetime to do this.

Tuesday, July 7

Marriage lessons

If you are a TLC fan I'm sure you are aware of the recent announcement that Jon and Kate (from Jon and Kate plus 8) are getting divorced.

I read an article featuring their family this week and it brought about a mixture of emotions in me: sadness, disappointment, anger, disbelief.

Yet, it is a situation that I feel I can learn from and that will spur me on to strengthen my own marriage.

This will not be a Kate-bashing session, but I want to share a few things that she said in this article that I disagree with.

I think what I struggle the most with are comments like these from Kate: "As always, my first priority remains our children."

Bottom line: I believe your first priority needs to be your marriage. 1 kid or 8 kids, your husband needs to be in first place and decisions need to be made that clearly communicate that your marriage is top priority.

Kate commented that there was no defining moment when she realized her marriage was broken. It was event after event that happened when she realized that Jon was not the person she married. Their goals, dreams and ideas don't match up anymore.

It would be sad to me if the person you married was the same person 10 years later. I am not who I was 10 years ago. Ryan is not who he was either. We've changed, matured, grew, sinned, gotten older (and heavier!) and experienced the joys and trials of life.... But we've made it a point to grow and change together. And in order for our dreams, goals and ideas to match up, our marriage has to be first. Otherwise how will a husband and wife have the time and energy to talk and discuss their dreams and goals? Because those change over time as well. If your marriage is not your number one relationship in your life, I have no idea how one can be certain that goals, dreams and ideas will be the same.

"I think for the past 10 years I was operating under the belief that marriage is forever. So I exhausted myself trying to do everything and make everything okay, when maybe it just couldn't."

This quote made me sad because God intended for marriage to be forever. I am sure Kate exhausted herself in many ways because the reality is that trying to raise 8 kids is exhausting....and when you give your husband the leftovers, I can only imagine how draining that would be. In no way will I claim to understand the challenges of raising 8 children, but I do know that you operate in your marriage based on one of two attitudes: that marriage is temporary or it is forever. If you believe it is forever, your actions will line up with that belief.

I don't mean to be overly critical toward Kate. She has been in the spotlight and now her private life is on display for everyone to discuss.

But I wanted to share my perspective about marriage and make this a place to talk about things I disagree with in our society.

Do you have an opinion on this topic or situation? Has it taught you a lesson in your own personal life? Please share, we'd love to hear your thoughts!

Friday, July 3

Home Improvement...Leaving a Legacy

HAPPY 4TH OF JULY!

Reflect on the legacy of faith that our founding fathers built this country on.

Share with someone this weekend, one freedom that you are most grateful for that you have because you live in America.

Thank God for that freedom.

Wednesday, July 1

Leaving a Legacy...

If I handed you a banana, what would you expect to get when you peeled back the skin?

A peach? A tomato? An apple?

A banana, of course!

What would others expect to get if they peeled back your skin and could see your heart?

Love? Anger? Jealousy? Peace? Animosity?

Whatever others may find beneath your surface is probably what you will leave behind as your legacy.

The woman of integrity walks securely,
but the woman who takes crooked paths will be found out...

(Proverbs 10:9...I inserted 'woman' for 'man')

The woman who is the same inside and out can walk securely...the woman who takes crooked paths must have something to hide because the verse says she 'will be found out.'

I have 'legacy' written next to this verse in my Bible. It is a reminder to me that I want to live a consistent life...that there isn't something that will be 'found out' about me that will negate who I want to become.

A wise woman who builds her house will have many people looking in to see what she is building. She is in the perfect place to make sure she is constructing a life and a home that is genuine and pure before God...and others.

Then those who follow after will have a straight path to follow.

Tuesday, June 30

Family Reunions

Next month I will be heading off to a family reunion. My dad is one of 13 children....there are about 50 grandchildren and 50 great-children (with a few more currently on the way!).

We hold a family reunion every other summer...otherwise it is rare these 100+ family members actually get together.

This summer will be different because my grandma recently passed away. Not only will she not be present, but we'll be holding a memorial service for her on Sunday.

If you were to visit my family reunion I think it would be very telling what kind of people my grandparents were by the conversations taking place throughout the weekend. I imagine the weekend will be spent discussing my grandparents life, family memories, stories, and the legacy my grandparents left behind.

Not all 13 children and their spouses claim to love the Lord, but most of them do. Some have dedicated their lives to telling people about Him. Many of the grandkids love the Lord as well.

In the Old Testament we are told to remember: to share stories of God's faithfulness - to eat, celebrate and acknowledge what God has done. I hope we do that this year, and every year.

That would be a legacy my grandparents would be proud of!

Monday, June 29

Leaving a Legacy

"Rather than filling your life with things to make you feel significant, fill your life with significant things."

I pulled this quote from my files this weekend as comments and accolades were flooding the news about Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett's deaths. I wanted to bring clarity to my mind as to how I was spending my days here on earth.

What significant things am I filling my life with?

Immediately after Jackson and Fawcett's deaths were announced, TV reporters were vying for examples of how these two performers reached a level in life where they were able to leave a legacy. All weekend I heard of how people were impacted by Jackson's music and Fawcett's beauty.

I don't think 'leaving a legacy' is an achievement.

I don't think 'leaving a legacy' is a choice.

I think all of us will leave a legacy. It is just a matter of what kind of legacy we will leave.

I am writing my legacy every day of my life whether I acknowledge it or not.

The choices I make daily will determine the legacy I will ultimately leave behind.

How I chose to invest my time will sculpt my legacy.

What I decide to do with my God-given talents will expand my legacy.

Who I can encourage along the way will make my legacy meaningful.

I reminded myself this weekend to fill my life with significant things. That is what will make my legacy significant.

Friday, June 26

Home Improvement...Summer Entertaining

In spite of the overwhelming response to my question, "What does Kate Spade think is the greatest gift you can give your guests when entertaining?"...no one got the right answer:) At least you didn't post it!

"Being gracious when you entertain is perhaps the greatest gift you can give to your guests," she says. "It signals acceptance and patience and a go-with-the-flow style that can accommodate spills...it is also about being generous." She admires hostesses who make her feel welcomed and relaxed in their homes.

"Making your guests feel at home is truly an art and it's one worth cultivating."

These tips are from Kate Spade's book, Occasions. A fun summer read.

"Entertaining begins with a dream--then quickly gets overtaken by reality, like the size of your living room!"

Here's a fun idea to consider; "Buy a white tablecloth. Have it emboidered with the names of your favorite foods or travel destinations."

Here's her suggestion for a Fourth of July party, "On the fourth, Andy and I always make sure we see a parade...the other thing we usually do is host an outdoor summer party. Rather than using basic hardware store coolers for all the beverages, last year Andy bought large blue and red tin tubs at Target. A friend who was staying with us for the weekend made a star stencil and painted a random pattern all over the outside of the tubs using white paint. We filled them with ice and used them to keep everything cold at our picnic."

Use this weekend to bring some beauty and fun into your home. Gear up for a 4th of July celebration or be ready to host an 'un-occasion' some time soon. PLAN to be a gracious hostess even if it is a simple picnic with your kids. HAVE FUN

Thursday, June 25

Chocolate Cream Dessert

Ryan and I finished working on/updating our porch just last week. It is a 3-season porch built decades ago. We put indoor/outdoor carpet in, painted, added a ceiling fan and cleaned our windows (and by we I mean with the help of our parents!). We are loving sitting out there!

We can drink our lemonade, sip our ice tea, enjoy our grilled meats, eat our cool treats, play with Samuel and soak in summertime...without the bugs!

Here's another tasty - and very sweet - summer treat to keep you cool on warm days. Makes a lot but keeps well in the fridge.

Chocolate Cream Dessert

¾ cup cold butter (or margarine)

1 pkg (18 ¼ oz) chocolate cake mix

1 egg, lightly beaten

1 pkg (8oz) cream cheese, softened

1 cup confectioners’ sugar

4 cups whipped topping, divided

3 cups cold milk

2 pkg (3.9 oz each) instant chocolate pudding mix

2 T chocolate curls, optional

In a bowl, cut butter into cake mix until crumbly. And the egg and mix well. Press into a greased 13x9x2 in baking dish. Bake at 350 for 15 minutes or until set. Cool completely on a wire rack.

In a small mixing bowl, beat cream cheese and confectioners’ sugar until smooth. Fold in 1 cup of whipped topping. Carefully spread over the crust; refrigerate.

In a bowl, whisk the milk and pudding 2 minutes; let stand until slightly thickened. Spread over the cream cheese layer. Top with the remaining whipped topping. Refrigerate for 2 hours before cutting. Garnish with chocolate curls. Refrigerate leftovers. Yield: 12 serving.

Wednesday, June 24

Summer Parties

"When I was about thirty, I decided it was time to give a proper sit-down dinner. My husband, Andy, was all for it, but he also knew that considering this would be my first dinner party, a little warning was in order. So he made copies of instructions for the Heimlich maneuver, which he used as the invitation. The point wasn't lost on our frineds when Andy wrote, 'You're invited to Kate's first dinner party.'

Who's Kate?

Kate Spade, of course!! Who knew that Kate Spade had to LEARN how to entertain! This is an excerpt from Kate Spade's book, Occasions!

If you're at the library this summer with your little kiddos, you might want to check out this CUTE book. It was the cuteness that caught my eye. You don't need to read it from cover to cover, but there are fun tidbits to try on your friends and family.

Here's a sample:
"Hors d'oeuvres should be bite size. I think it's hard to bite into something with a napkin and a drink already in your hand. That's why I like mini foods, which you can just pop in."

"Be showered and dressed an hour before you expect the first guests to arrive. Even the most conscientious hostess will forget this on her pre-party checklist."

It is fun to read about her husband's involvement in their entertaining. It sounds like they make a great team in this area.

"When Andy was in Little League, his mother threw him what became his first un-occasion party, to celebrate his first hit at bat. She invited the team over, rushed home from the game, and served sandwiches, cream soda and twinkies."

What would you think is the one ingredient that 'ultimately defines a good hostess'? Think about it and I will tell you what she thinks it is on Friday:)

Tuesday, June 23

Yogurt cake

It's been very very hot in Minnesota lately. We had heat index warnings today...humidity is up...and summer is definitely here!

So I'm going to share some cool treats for warm weather.

This is my new favorite from my friend Kari! Works as both a cake or cupcakes. And would be perfect for the 4th of July next week. Can be made with strawberry, blueberry or lemon yogurt.

Yogurt Cake
1 - white cake mix with "pudding in the mix"
3/4 - C water
1/3 - C oil
3 egg whites
8 oz. strawberry yogurt (or whatever flavor you want)
Frosting:
8 oz. strawberry yogurt
8 oz. Cool Whip
Mix ingredients together on medium speed for 2 - 1/2 minutes. Bake 350 degrees for 30-35 minutes in 9 x 13 pan. Cool. Top with frosting and cut strawberries. Refrigerate.

Do you have a favorite cool treat to share?

Friday, June 19

Home Improvement...Influencing your Man

Gary Thomas, in Sacred Influence, says the number one rule for influencing your man is this: "Stop taking your husband for granted"

In her book, Capture His Heart, Lysa TerKeurst tells of boarding a shuttle bus at the airport, where she met a sixty-year-old man who said something very simple but astonishing. Lysa commented that people must love to see the shuttle bus pull up, because it means they're going home.
The driver laughed. "Yeah, everyone is excited to see me pull up to the curb. That's why I like my job so much. People get on the bus and smile so bif. They've just been waiting for me, and when I finally arrive, they are happy I'm here. I've often wished I had a video camera to tape people as they get on my bus with the smiling faces and glad-to-see-ya comments. I'd love for my wife to see a tape like that. That's the way I've always wanted her to look when I come home from work." (italics is mine)

Leslie Vernick, author of How to Act Right When Your Spouse Acts Wrong, once asked a husband in a counseling situation what he would most like from his wife. He responded, "There was a guy at work who was clumsy and never did the job quite right. None of us guys thought much of him, but when his wife came in one day, she looked at him like he could do no wrong. All of us guys were jealous of him from then on, because we knew he wasn't perfect, but his wife treated him like he was. I would love for my wife to look at me like that." (italics is mine)

A wife has a unique opportunity to influence her husband over the years. Begin this Father's Day weekend to stop taking your spouse for granted. It will spill over to how your kids react to dad...and to mom!

Wednesday, June 17

Do You Influence Your Man?

We have 2 sons. Our oldest is Ryan, he's married to Stacy.

I lived with him for about 20 years, he lived with roommates for 5 years and now he has lived with Stacy for 8 years.

Lots has been said about the impact a mom has on her sons and I believe that is true. Values, disciplines, attitudes and many basic habits can be established by a mom...but to make a guy into a real man, well, it takes a good wife.

Ryan could live with Stacy for another 50 or so years. That will really shape him into the man he will ultimately be. He is such a fine man now, I would like to take credit for his sterling personality, but it is Stacy who will really set the bar for who Ryan becomes.

The book, Sacred Influence by Gary Thomas, has been recommended on this blog before and it is worth mentioning it again this week before Father's Day.

If you have a 'dad' living in your home, you have an incredible opportunity to influence that fellow into becoming an awesome figure in your children's lives. It's the big picture you want to keep in focus on a daily basis because that will make it possible for you to encourage your man to 'stay the course'.

Please note, I am talking about 'influencing your man', not changing him! That is where the satisfaction as a wife comes in. I know that in the last 35 years that I have lived with the father of my kids, I HAVE CHANGED...and that has made it possible for me to influence my husband.

When I realized that changing myself into a better wife was going to be a life-long job, I stopped trying to change my husband, I couldn't do both! It was only after I began to change that I really began to influence my husband for the better.

Father's Day is Sunday. Is there something that needs to be changed within you to make this Father's Day a day of gratitude and thanksgiving?

Monday, June 15

Father's Day Week!

"Father!--to God himself we cannot give a holier name."
William Wordsworth

"Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope."
Bill Cosby

Two quotes from Tony Dungy's new book, Uncommon. If you are looking for a great gift for your dad or the dad of your kids, consider picking up a copy of this book. The subtitle is 'Finding Your Path to Significance'.

It's a good read for a man.

Thursday, June 11

All about patterns

This week I am analyzing and considering the impact of the words of Romans 12:2 - "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will."

What behavior and customs are actually patterns of this world that I am following?

Some patterns might be...

How number and type of dinners I cook in a week. My friend cooks 5. My other friend cooks gourmet. Another friend cooks very healthy and natural with all the best ingredients. Which one will I pattern my menu planning around?


How I speak to my husband. I could follow a of pattern of nagging, disrespect and intimidation. Or, I could choose a pattern of encouragement, respect and kindness. Are my spoken words really a pattern? So many commercials these days feature a wife rolling her eyes at her husband, making him feel like less of a man....without even being aware I am seeing patterns of disrespect on television.

Another pattern that I could easily follow is a pattern of guilt. I think a lot of what I am motivated by is guilt. I think many people in this world are motivated by guilt. And I think our society and culture plays off this guilt in telling us how to live, what to buy and what to think about ourselves and others.


A common pattern that I see in my age group is the 'next step' pattern. The next step is to buy a bigger house, a nicer, newer car, a bigger television or other electronic gadgets. The pattern we observe and are told to follow is that you always go bigger...nicer...more expensive.

As I look to the future I think about what parenting patterns will I follow? Those of friends? Those of family members? Those I observe on television or am told to follow on talk shows? I read this quote today: "The problem starts when parents raise children based on their personal experience growing up instead of using the Bible as the timeless, authoritative guide"
in relation to a book called The Parent Adventure.

Are my patterns based off my personal life experiences? I am not even sure that lifestyle patterns are consciously chosen. Maybe they are just observed, never questioned or challenged, and then lived out by the next generation?

Following a pattern is external. But if I am instructed not to live according to the pattern of this world then I need to look internally. Maybe the way to live out Romans 12:2 means that I should to take every 'pattern' and check it against God's Word. Is it Biblical? Is it healthy? Is it right for me and my family in this season of our lives?

I think this will take some time to process and truly contemplate. Just one pattern at a time....

Tuesday, June 9

Patterns of this world

Last week I was reading in Romans and came across a verse that impacted me greatly years ago. It's Romans 12:2 - "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will."

I love this verse because it commands me 'not to conform to the world' and tells me what to do instead: be transformed by the renewing of my mind. I referred to this verse often over the years as a way to take my worldly thoughts captive and to refocus on the Lord.


Last week as I read it, it spoke to me in a different way.

As I read, "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world..." I stopped and asked myself what patterns I was conforming to.

What pattern as a mom was I conforming to?

What pattern as a wife was I conforming to?

What pattern as a homemaker was I conforming to?

What pattern as a business woman, child of God, friend, etc?

This world offers many ideas, suggestions and attitudes about 'the patterns' we should follow for our various roles. We see the patterns on television. We read about them in the paper and in magazines. We observe the patterns our friends follow or live out.

Sometimes we don't even recognize that a lifestyle or belief system is a pattern....it just is.


Not all patterns are bad or negative. But someone else's pattern might not be right for me either. And if the pattern I am pursuing in my role as a wife or mom is of this world, the command is to stop conforming.

These are just some things I'm contemplating and working through. What does this look like? How does one live this out?

I'll keep thinking and let you know what I'm discovering about the pattern of this world.

Saturday, June 6

Home Improvement...Contentment!

Did you dare answer the question of the week, "Are you content?" If you did, did you find abit of discontentment lurking?

This week was really busy for me. I guess I could say that about most of my weeks, but as I was trying to keep my head above water and handle the demands of each day, my mind constantly was reaching for a level of contentment. All my tasks were good things, just too many of them. So often my daily discontent comes from over-commitment. I try to do too many things and please too many people.

Discontentment can have many roots, but for the average woman, I think a busy schedule often triggers discontent.

This weekend, for Home Improvement, can I challenge you to just take a look at your schedule? That's all. No need to search deeply for ultimate contentment. Just see if you have enough 'margin' in your life to enjoy what you are doing.

Do you have time to sit and talk with your husband?

Do you know what you are making with the groceries you purchased, or are you just throwing a dinner together because you just don't have time to look for a good recipe.

Do you check 'caller ID' everytime the phone rings and often you disregard a call from a friend because you are just too busy?

Do you have nothing to wear because it is all in the wash or it needs to be ironed?

Are you spending money on late charges because you can't find the bills you need to pay on your messy desk?

The answers to these questions may be the first place to start when you are seeking contentment.

This weekend, try to build some 'margin' into all that you choose to do. Take time to take a deep breath and enjoy what you are doing.

This is a discipline I have had to come back to often in my life.

"Contentment has everything to do with how you are doing with you." (quote from Finding Contentment by Neil Clark Warren)

If I am not doing well with me, I need some time to get myself back in balance and that takes margin...time to appreciate all that I have. It comes back to having the time to count my blessings.

Wednesday, June 3

Contentment...

Are you learning to be content?

Philip Yancey writes of a spiritual seeker who interrupted his busy, acquisitive life to spend a few days in a monastery. "I hope your stay is a blessed one," said the monk who showed him to his simple cell. "If you need anything, let us know, and we'll teach you how to live without it."

If contentment is learned, how are you doing? In this economy, it's a good question to ponder. Have we come to believe we NEED so many things?

Look at how Americans perceive their needs in 1970 compared with the year 2000:

1970:
Second car 20%
Second TV 3%
More than one phone 2%
Car air-conditioning 11%
Dishwasher 8%


2000:
Second car 59%
Second TV 45%
More than one phone 78%
Car air-conditioning 65%
Dishwasher 44%


(Taken from When the Game is Over it All Goes Back in the Box by John Ortberg)

Our 'needs' have changed even more since 2000 when you think of all our cell phones! Back in 1970, only 2% of Americans thought 2 phones were necessary, now we all have our OWN!

Gratitude seems to be the key for me to keep my perspective honest. I can so easily be deceived into thinking I 'need' just alittle bit more and then I will have complete contentment. Of course, if I get that 'little bit more', I am still wanting for 'more'.

I don't want this economy to dampen the blessings I have this summer. I have found if I fill my mind with the blessings I have, I don't have the desire to wander the shopping malls wondering what I am 'needing'.

The summer of 2009 can be the summer of ENOUGH...if I am grateful and concentrate on 'learning to be content'.

Monday, June 1

It's June!

"Gratitude is the ability to experience life as a gift." (John Ortberg)

What a great reminder that is as we head into June. Summers can get so busy and so out of control for a woman. The kids are around and heading out the door, husbands want impromtu excursions, cooking changes and the house always needs a good cleaning. Gratitude often goes out the window for me when I am just trying to hold on to some order in my life. That is why I have incorporated the summer holidays into a celebration of 'life as a gift'.

Early spring, it is easy to be grateful. The warmth, the blue sky, the chirping birds, the new signs of life...they all make me whisper a prayer of thanksgiving.

By Memorial Day, I am usually in high gear and my 'to do' list for summer needs to be implemented so I am focused on 'doing'. That is why I have made it a ritual to be grateful for the 'gift of life' over the Memorial Day Weekend, 4th of July and again on Labor Day. I spend a brief amount of time writing out what is going on in my life and what I am grateful for. It has been an exercise that keeps me centered and slowed down. Usually, Memorial Day comes the last week of May, so as I turned my calendar to June today, I reminded myself to celebrate this wonderful summer season and just enjoy the moments.

Contentment is rooted in being grateful. Paul says in Philippians 4:11 that contentment is 'learned' so by setting a reminder for myself as I turn the calendar on June 1st, July 4th and Sept 1st, I am 'learning' to be grateful and develop some roots of contentment in my soul.

I turned the calendar this morning, and I also turned my attitude around as I listed what I was thankful for at the end of May 2009. It's the good old summertime, don't let it slip away with all your busyness. Count your blessings and celebrate life as the gift that it is.

Friday, May 29

Home Improvement...

I came home late again tonight and wandered out to my garden. I went to water my flowers but realized it was more than that. I needed to see the colors. I longed to smell the blossoms. I wanted to renew my soul.

Our one year old grandson, Jonathan, had his cleft palate repaired this week. It was a brutal sight to see him after the two and a half hour surgery. His tongue looked like someone had lit it on fire and after it had burned, blew it out and left the inside raw and bloody. It was a thick, crispy mass. He couldn't close his mouth so we had to wipe the blood away as it continued to drain out and over his lips. He couldn't open his wide eyes the first day. He was given morphine and slept with arm restraints.

I walked to my garden to replace those images I had in my head. I drank in the color, inhaled the fragrance and knelt to gently remove a weed. I could finally do something here in my garden. After a day of sitting, I could dig and prune and make my garden abit better. Mostly, I could be renewed as I saw God's handiwork all around me. I could take heart that God was healing Jonathan just as sure as He was growing the seeds I had planted.

If you haven't tried gardening, improve your home this year by digging up a plot of soil. Improve your soul by meeting with God daily in your garden. It doesn't need to be a masterpiece, start small and then sit back and see God at work.
Nothing will restore your soul faster than spending some time appreciating God's creation.

Thursday, May 28

Gardening for dummies

Barb put gardening 101 as her title but I think it should be called Gardening for Dummies! As of Thursday last week I had no idea what I was doing! I had never picked out a plant or shrub before....the most I had purchased was a hanging basket of flowers as a gift.

I got a crash course in plants, shrubs, flowers, fertilizer, watering, etc, etc. It's overwhelming in the beginning, but the results are beautiful.

Thus far, taking the time to water, enjoying the smell of the soil and soaking in the beauty of the plants, has allowed me to appreciate the beauty of God's great earth. Such color. Such variety. Such creativity!

I had no idea how many different plants and shrubs and flowers there were and how unique they each are. All of this makes me wonder what the garden of Eden must have been like? It must have been the most luscious green, the most vibrant colors. I can't even begin to imagine.

I'm looking forward to watching my garden grow...taking the time to get outdoors and breathe in the fresh air, time to step away from the electronics and enjoy a bit of nature in my own yard.

Now the question is, will I be able to remember to water my garden often enough that I will keep these little plants and flowers alive and growing? We'll see!

Wednesday, May 27

Gardening 101

Stacy and I planted flowers over Memorial Day weekend! So fun. So many colors and plants to choose from.

She needed completely new landscape, so we started simple. We planted easy plants that will be forgiving if she ignores them abit. Here are a few tips I have picked up in planting gardens of my own:

1. Before shopping for flowers, consider the 'sun factor'. If your garden beds receive direct sun for a long period of time, you will want to choose hardy plants. If your beds are mainly in the shade, you will have to choose plants that thrive in that exposure. (The plants are labeled at the garden store as to what exposure they can take)

2. Choose a site for your flower bed that can be enjoyed from the house if possible or as you drive up to your home.

3. Lay out a hose or sturdy rope to outline the pattern you want for your garden.

4. Dig in with gusto and prepare the soil by removing leaves, grass and weeds. Level off the area with a rake.

5. "Less is more" when purchasing bushes and flowers. They will grow and fill out. Limit your palatte to 2 or 3 colors and consider what goes well with the backdrop of your home.

6. Repeat the plant in the garden or nearby spaces. Repetition of color and type of plant offers a more serene view of your property. Place the plants around in different areas while they are still in their pots. You just might get inspired to try a different plan.

7. Spread mulch in between plants to limit the weeds from sprouting up. Put it carefully around the base of each plant.

8. Water your masterpiece! Let the hose run slowly on the bushes for a good amount of time. Water your plants the first few days to get the roots ready to branch out and deepen.

9. Sit back and enjoy! A summer full of color and beauty!

Friday, May 22

Home Improvement: One question to consider

I read one of Barb's books a couple years back called, "The Best Question Ever" by pastor Andy Stanley.

It is a small, yet very thought-provoking book.

Andy suggests that when we need to make a decision (about ANY area of our lives) we should ask ourselves: What is the wise thing for me to do, in light of my past experience, my present circumstances, and my future hopes and dreams?

This single question, if pondered and seriously considered, can dramatically change the way we make decisions.

What I love most about this question is that it doesn't tell us what to do, it just encourages us to ask, what is the WISE thing to do?

Can you imagine the impact this question could have on our children if we enabled them and taught them to consider the wise thing to do when making decisions? Sometimes we have to set aside our feelings, or our personal preference, or what's easiest or cheapest or makes everyone else the happiest...in order to do what is wise.

Each person has to answer this question for themselves. Only you can determine - based on your past, present and future - what would be the wise thing to do?

I looked up the definition of wise and here is what I found:

wise

[wahyz] Show IPA adjective, wis⋅er, wis⋅est, verb, wised, wis⋅ing.
–adjective
1.having the power of discerning and judging properly as to what is true or right; possessing discernment, judgment, or discretion.

2.characterized by or showing such power; judicious or prudent: a wise decision.

By asking ourselves what the wise thing to do is, we are essentially declaring that we want to be discerning. We want to determine what is true or right or best. We want to be....well wise!

As women 'striving to be wise' this question is one that we should refer to often when encouraging husbands, talking with friends, teaching our children and especially for ourselves. I think it has the potential to change our relationships, our families, our homes, and most of all, us!

This weekend try to use this question just once in your own decision making and encourage one other person to consider it as well.

Happy Memorial Day!

Thursday, May 21

Asking Good Questions

This exercise isn't just between husbands and wives. Do you ask yourself good questions?

What is my mission in life going to be?

Who is my Master?

Am I using my time wisely?

Does my life style reflect my beliefs?

These questions can be asked of your children as they grow. Add to this list the all-important question of 'Who will my mate be?'

Questioning myself in a positive way can change my mood. Questioning a child with good questions can help them think for themselves in a good way.

Good questions need to be thought-provoking, not idle chatter or accusations.

Learning to ask good questions can affect your relationship with God as well. There are many questions in the Bible that sets my thinking right:
"Where can I go from your Spirit?"
"Where can I flee from your presence? (Ps 139:7-8)
"Do you not know, have you not heard? The Lord is the Everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth." (Is 40:37-38)
"Where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth." (Ps 121:1-2)

Aren't these questions better than asking myself:
Where is God? Doesn't God know what I am going through? Is God really interested in me?

Asking good questions of my faith, can turn my doubts and fears around. I start to focus on God's sovereignity and it forces me to answer my questions based on Truth.

Reflect on your questions and then see if making small changes in those questions won't change your thoughts and your conversations.

Wednesday, May 20

Can I Ask You a Question?

"Do I look fat in this?"

"Why doesn't your mother like me?"

"Do I talk too much?"

Do you give much thought to the questions you ask your husband? Ever thought that maybe you could become wiser in that area?

Asking Good Questions....is something you may want to consider this summer.

Often we put our husbands in a corner by the questions we ask him. He may find himself in a lose/lose situation as far as how he is going to answer you!

Sometimes the questions are just a waste of time and then you wonder why your husband doesn't listen to you.

A little fore thought can make a question into a whole evening of discussion.

"Honey, what could you see yourself doing 5 years from now?"
"When our children are grown, what would you like to be doing as a couple?"
"If money wasn't an issue, where would you like to spend your time?"

If you think this is a one-time exercise, it isn't. As your marriage moves into a new season, new questions will help you adjust, if you have learned the power of a good question.

So what was that question you were going to ask?! Think a moment before asking.

Friday, May 15

Home Improvement...ENJOY the moments.

"There is, in every child, at every moment, a miracle unfolding."
Erik Erikson, psychologist

Enjoy your children this weekend!

Take photos and have them for you to cherish, but don't make scrapbooking another discipline that 'must' be done.

For every photo put on a page, write a word or two from you, as a mom. Forget the frills and all the clever ornaments if time is an issue and instead write what the moment means to you. Your child will find a double blessing in having his/her photos to remember but also what it meant to you.

"Your words echo down the ages" is a quote I love. Add a word to each photo and call it good.

Simplify the layout and keep reminding yourself of WHO you are preserving these photos for and WHY you are taking the time.

Then, enjoy your miracles!

Tuesday, May 12

A photo dilemma

This week's topic is pretty applicable since I realized yesterday that I forgot to take pictures on Mother's Day!

Ahhh....my first Mother's Day and no photo of Samuel and I or Samuel, Ryan and I. How did I forget???? It's doubtful I will experience another Mother's Day with a baby in my arms and one in my belly :)

Barb and I had a good discussion on Mother's Day about scrapbooking...and picture taking...and recording all those memories and photos.

I am surrounded by women who stress out because they are 'behind' in their chronological scrapbooking and will never be caught up. I am also surrounded by women who take hundreds of photos and leave them all on their computer...never printing a one.

Where do I fit into this mix? Do I even want to scrapbook? Do I enjoy it? Do I do it for myself or for my spouse/children? Do I feel guilty about what I do or don't do?

These are the kinds of questions I need to ask myself as I take a look at the thousands of photos I have of Samuel. What kind of expectation am I placing on myself? Is it time to start new habits now that I have a child and another on the way? What is realistic for me in this season of life?

I don't have all the answers. I haven't determined all of that yet. But I do know this...I have less time these days and more photos. And yet, I still have a desire to record these precious 'firsts' for my son. Maybe it will be so I can look back someday and remember...rather than Samuel looking back.

I am looking at this part of my life with new eyes...thanks for pondering with us this week!

Monday, May 11

Think About It!

Who are you really scrapbooking for?

Stacy mentioned yesterday that she has over 3,000 photos of Samuel already...he's only 7 months old.

I was drawn back to my days of scrapbooking my young children and remember the feelings I had to get my photos into my kids' scrapbook. There was always a nagging thought that I had to sit down and get 'caught up'. Back then, I only had to deal with 'hard-copy' photos and that was always limited by what I could afford to develop.

What would I do today if I had digital photos to manage and all the options of journaling?

While I find it so worthwhile to leave a legacy for your children, I sometimes wonder if moms today don't scrapbook to make their life LOOK good instead of just getting out there and making a life that IS good.

Controversial, maybe, but also something to think about.

I have scrapbooks for all my kids. I documented when they ate their first bite of solid food. I have pictures of when they began walking. I saved their report cards and most of the notes they ever sent me. They can look back at these books and find out when they had chicken pox and who they went to prom with.

I think I did a pretty good job of capturing the moments, but what I am finding out now is, I think those moments were meant for me, not my kids. My grown kids rarely, if ever, peruse their books, but I do. Maybe in years to come, the scrapbooks will become more valuable to them, but I doubt it. They are very glad I made them. They are glad that their life was important and exciting to me. But now they are on to making a life for themselves and their families, and that is how it should be.

My gentle advice to Stacy yesterday is what I write today: Think of why you are capturing your child's life in photos and enjoy it all. But remember to enjoy the moments as much as the memory. Make as many moments indelible in your heart and those moments won't need to be cataloged and journaled. You will remember.

Scrapbook, yes

Stress over it, no. Your child won't wait around for you to get your books in order. Just help them to get their life in order, and maybe that will be enough.

Friday, May 8

Home Improvement...Pray for our Children

"Whether you have biological children or not, we are all spiritual mamas to somebody, and we can be praying—single women, childless women, women with a quiver full of children, women who’ve never had any children—God has put us in the position of being true women for children through prayer." (Janet Parshall, talk-show host and speaker)

What a perfect Home Improvement challenge for this weekend. We are all 'spiritual mamas to someone' so on this Mother's Day weekend let's commit to pray for our children.

List the children that God has brought into your life...nieces, nephews, grandkids, sons, daughters, perhaps neighbors or kids of friends. Pray for these children by name every day for the rest of the month of May. Sounds simple, right...so why aren't we doing it on a daily basis all year long?

Time to improve our homes, 'spiritual mamas', and Happy Mother's Day to all!

Thursday, May 7

The year I skipped Mother’s Day

Our church asked me to write an article for our Sunday program for Mother's Day. I thought I would share it here...


The year I skipped Mother’s Day
by Stacy May

One year ago today I could not face the reality that another Mother’s Day was upon us. My dreams of motherhood were unfulfilled, and I did everything possible to avoid facing the day that so many families celebrated. My husband and I enjoyed a lazy and relaxing Sunday morning. We didn’t go to church and we didn’t see our families.

Proverbs 13:12 says, “A hope deferred makes the heart sick.” Last year my heart was desperately sick. For nearly three years my husband and I had walked the road of infertility and miscarriages.

We lost our first little one at 10 weeks in July 2006. For the next two years we struggled to conceive again. We pleaded with God. We begged God. We petitioned God. But His answer was no. His answer was, “Wait on me.”

Waiting is hard. It’s full of questions, doubts, and fears.

And for me, the pain of waiting was magnified one year ago today when everywhere I looked I was reminded that others were celebrating a gift that God had not yet given to me. Mother’s Day 2008 represented the tender reality that my womb was still empty. I was 32. It had been 22 months since our miscarriage and my heart was bitter, broken and hardened.

Last summer led me on a journey of dealing with the resentment, anger and bitterness that had taken root in my heart. This was difficult, yet necessary, as I longed to walk in the freedom of God’s grace and forgiveness.

And finally, in August of last year, I discovered I was pregnant. Surely this was God’s blessing as a result of the healing that had taken place in my heart. At 7 weeks we heard a beautiful heartbeat. But at 9 weeks we were told, for the second time, our baby had died in my womb.

My dreams of motherhood vanished as quickly as they had come. And another bitter root threatened to grow.

But in God’s great mercy he didn’t allow that to happen. Just 24 days later God took my waiting and showed me it was not in vain.

On October 4, 2008, we got a call about a baby boy born in Waconia the day before. He was just 24 hours old. Were we interested? We had not started the adoption process, but we jumped in the car and went to the hospital to meet the birth mom. Within an hour she told us she would like us to adopt our son, whom we promptly named Samuel. We took him home two days later.

For seven months we have not stopped praising God for Samuel’s miraculous arrival into our lives. We are in awe of God’s timing and God’s plans for our family. And we continue to live in awe of the author and creator of life: in January we discovered that I was pregnant. Samuel will become a big brother this fall. Our story continues to be a beautiful reminder that despite all of our planning, God alone determines our future.

Today, Mother’s Day 2009, I could celebrate that my future will hold children just 11 months apart. I could celebrate that my battle with infertility has come to an end.

But instead, today I choose to celebrate that God restored my soul…before he restored my circumstances. I celebrate that he healed my heart. I celebrate freedom from the bondage of bitterness. I celebrate the blessing of waiting on the Lord.

Wednesday, May 6

Interesting Question...

What is one thing you did well as a mom?

I've been asking that of my friends lately. We all have grown children and often times I hear my friends talk about what they would do differently if they had to do it over again.

When I ask them what they thought they did well, I get a variety of answers:

"I read the Bible and prayed with them daily"

"I think I played with my children alot"

"I read to them"

"I loved them"

I think this is a good question for all moms to ask themselves each Mother's Day. It keeps us fresh. What are we doing well this year as a mom? Depending on your season of life, your answer will vary but that is why it is important to ask yourself, "What am I doing well as a mom?" every so often.

Be specific:

"I've gotten up in the middle of the night to feed or quiet my baby for the past 9 months...I never knew I could do that and live to tell about it!"

"I am handling sibling rivalry this year. It's hard, but I am liking the challenge."

"I am drawing my husband into this parenting thing. Last year I wanted to do everything MY way. I am seeing that being a mom means I am a team player"

You might want to write it down on the back of one of your Mother's Day cards. As long as you are hanging on to the cards, hold on to what you are doing well and then add to that next year.

After 18 years, you might just find that celebrating Mother's Day really has meaning for you!

Tuesday, May 5

Motherhood

We are just days out from Mother's Day...

It's so hard for me to believe that I will be celebrating Mother's Day this year! One year ago I couldn't even have imagined that I would have a 7-month old (logistically that seemed impossible!) and be 5 months pregnant this Mother's Day.

Wow...

This role of motherhood still seems so new to me. Some days are good. Some days are hard. Some days I still can't believe I am a "mom." That title is still very foreign to me.

Becoming a mom (very quickly!) has been easy in some ways, and tough in others.

In the movie Marley and Me Jennifer Aniston says about being a mom, “No one tells you how hard this is going to be."

I agree with her. Even when you love it and wouldn't trade it for the world, it is still so hard.

Some days it is hard because it's so routine. Other days its just plain tiring...like this morning when Samuel woke up crying at 4:15 a.m.

But motherhood is more fulfilling than I ever could have imagined! I am not sure I thought that when Samuel was just one month old. He didn't smile. He didn't laugh. He didn't know who I was. I just fed and changed him.

But each day it gets more and more fulfilling as Samuel gets bigger and our bond deepens. I realize I am fortunate to be able to stay home with Samuel and I am so so thankful for that.


This week lets contemplate together the gifts and the challenges of motherhood....

Friday, May 1

The house that cleans itself

How's that for a title?

Today I saw a friend reading a book with that title and I was so intrigued about the title that I asked her about it.

She was raving about the first few chapters. The idea is that you don't try to duplicate someone else's systems...instead you look at your home, your struggles with cleaning and organizing, and come up with a system that works for you. She said it is very practical.

Here is the online description:

The House That Cleans Itself is a true housekeeping guide for the housekeeping–impaired! It boldly takes on the reasons behind chronic messiness and why ordinary home–organization books won’t work. Using the methods of “horizontal thinking,” this book teaches readers how to set up a home so efficiently and logically that it seems to clean itself.

More than a how–to book, The House That Cleans Itself also looks at what God has to say about cleanliness and order, and how He can inspire order in every reader’s life in a fresh and unique way. For added fun, some of the tips Mindy uses come from research for her popular novels, The Trouble with Tulip, Blind Dates Can Be Murder, and Elementary, My Dear Watkins.

I personally haven't read it, but I think I will. The title alone has sold me :)

If you're interested you can order it online here.

Let us know if you read it!

Thursday, April 30

Garage Sales!

Garage sales are alot of work! If you are going to attempt one this spring, here are a few tips. The key is to attract ALOT of buyers. If you can get people to stop and browse, you probably will get a sale.

I think setting up a garage sale is alot like 'staging' a home to sell and that requires preparation:

1. Use bright helium balloons to attract people who may just drive by

2. Cut your grass and pay attention to your yard. You want the buyers to think all the treasures you are selling have been cared for!

3. Have things in working condition...batteries for toys and an electrical extension available so buyers can try out small appliances, etc.

4. Signs are so important. The address isn't important, just big, bright signs with arrows leading drivers straight to your driveway.

5. Display your items out on tables and hang clothes up if possible. 'Presentation', even at garage sales can make all the difference in making a sale!

6. Make arrangements with a company like ARC or another charity to pick up all left-overs after the sale. The purpose of the sale is to clean out...not save and store for another year!

Betsy has a quote I like, “The more you own the more it owns you.”

If you own too much, try a garage sale this spring!

Wednesday, April 29

Betsy's Back...by Popular Demand!

I decided you would rather hear Betsy's inspiring words on Spring Cleaning than mine, so this is what she had to say:

"This is definitely the time of year when everyone starts thinking about spring cleaning. I don’t know if it is being cooped up inside all winter or just the need for a change that comes with the onset of Spring. If you are anything like I am when the weather gets nice out, you get that itch to clear out some of the stuff that has been piling up over the winter months. I know not everyone is born with the cleaning gene like I've got, but I do believe everyone has the desire, on some level, to be more organized. I would like to share with you today a few tips on how I get more organized with the coming of Spring.

I like to do a real once over with my house to clear out some of the things we no longer use or need. This involves the whole family. I struggled with this early on with my children, who take after me, and have a hard time parting with anything.

One thing we have decided to do in our home is have a garage sale once a year. Either in the spring or fall. I know this may seem overwhelming in one sense, but in another sense it is my way of teaching my children how to part with the toys they no longer play with. They are allowed to choose the toys, set the price and keep the proceeds of their sales. It is amazing to watch them choose

The thing I have struggled with when trying to get rid of things is I never have had a place to put them and a system to help me get rid of them. They pile up in bags in a closet or in piles in the garage. This year I have decided to purchase those large Rubbermaid containers and place them in the garage. I have not totally decided how to label them but it will be very simple, clothes, household, toys etc. When we come across something we want to get rid of we place it in the designated tub. Then when it comes time to get ready for the garage sale everything will be in one place, easy to label and get ready.

If you are not up to the garage sale, just decide that once a month you are going to run a tub to Good will and empty them out. Depending on how much you get rid of you could go more than once a month or fewer times. Just schedule a time so the tubs don’t get over grown.

The other part I struggle with is getting my girls to part with anything. I have placed a bag in each of their rooms and have told them that whatever they choose to get rid of goes in the bag. They are then allowed to set the price and keep the proceeds of the sales at the garage sale. It is amazing to watch them choose things I thought they would never get rid of.

I like how this system has allowed us to really think about things we no longer need and the garage sale gives a deadline to reach for. I hope this has inspired a few of you to let go of some of those “things” in your life that have needed to go for a while. Happy Cleaning!

Tuesday, April 28

Spring cleaning...what's your plan?

It's spring here in Minnesota. How about where you live?

It's still cool, but there is a hint of summer in our weather....

I am not one for organizing or cleaning. I have friends who love to do both, but I prefer to bake, read a book or go for a walk!

This time of year though it does one good to dig in and start organizing and decluttering.

Here's my plan of attack:

I'm making a list of house projects that need a little - or a lot! - of attention this spring: organize hall closet, clean out porch, clean and organize our attic (aka dumping ground all winter long), organize my pantry.

Tonight my husband and I are attacking our attic. A friend is coming over next month to help with some other organizing projects (she is giving me her TIME as a birthday gift....isn't that a wonderful present?).

And I bought some bins and I have my label maker ready to go. Out with the winter clothes, in with the summer...er, maternity clothes!

I love my label maker and find such satisfaction in labeling things. Whether it's bins of my clothing, Samuel's clothing and the many different sizes he has, items in the hall closet or kitchen containers, the label maker is one of my favorite tools!

What about you? Are you excited to start the spring cleaning in your home? What's your plan of attack? Who is going to help you? Or who are you going to help? What's your favorite tool to use around the home?

Please share any tips, thoughts or inspiration to motivate us all. And happy cleaning!

Friday, April 24

Home Improvement...from Mother Theresa

Take a moment this weekend and watch this video on You Tube: Perseverance Pt 1


Listen to the singer's introduction and enjoy the words of her song.


I don't need to say anymore, except you will love it!

Wednesday, April 22

Birthday Thoughts

Today's my birthday!

What a perfect time to write about perseverance! As I sit and think about my life, I would have to admit that I am very good at STARTING a task, but not so good when it comes to FINISHING a project.

So what does that mean as far as finishing each season of life well? Perseverance is a valuable but often overlooked quality in a woman, I think. Perseverance is what is needed to really make each year of your life count for something.

I have found two 'checkpoints' in my life that help me maintain perseverance.

The first is vision. As long as I can hold on to a vision that inspires me to keep going for my goal, I can persevere through the tough times. Without vision, it is easy for me to leave a task or a discipline behind.

The second 'checkpoint'is vitality. Perseverance requires discipline. Discipline brings vitality into my life because it means I am choosing my path. I need to be disciplined in my spiritual life, my physical habits, my emotional health and my mental state in order to experience vitality.

I have found if I grow weary in what I really want to do, I remind myself of the big picture-the vision-I have and that usually will encourage me to stay the course.

If the vision doesn't inspire me, it's usually because one of my disciplines are off-kilter. My spiritual life is dry. My physical body is in need of attention (more sleep, more exercise, better food, etc). My emotional needs are raw or my mental state needs some stimulation.

Birthdays are a great time to get a vision for the future. It's a great time make sure that all areas of my life-spiritual, emotional, physical and mental-are full of vitality.

The Bible says that perseverance produces character. That's what makes birthdays a perfect time to talk about perseverance. What better gift can you give yourself and your loved ones.

Tuesday, April 21

Go change your world

The last phrase of Barb's posting has got me thinking...

Go change your world.

It made me think of a Michael W. Smith song from my younger days.

It made me think of myself and if I believe I can still change the world?

It also made me think of my role as a mother. I have a little guy (and soon another little one) that I have the privilege of molding and encouraging.

Do I have the attitude that I can change the world by raising them?

Do I believe that they can change the world?

Will my words and my actions as I talk to them, mold them, train them, and teach them communicate that I believe they can change the world?

Hmmm...these are good things to ponder as a mom.

Monday, April 20

Perseverance

We are wrapping up another year of Homemakers with Hope! One month to go. This past month we talked about perseverance.

I shared the familiar story of "The Daffodil Principle". The story tells about a field of daffodils that covered a mountain side. In the midst of all the flowers, there was a small A-frame house with a sign next to it. People would come from all over to observe these blooming beauties and they would read this sign:

"Answers to your Questions I know you are asking":
50,000 bulbs
one at a time
by one woman
2 hands
2 feet
and a very little brain
It all began in 1958

This unknown woman changed the world in which she lived.

One little woman...with perseverance. A good story for today...go change your world.

Thursday, April 16

Chocolate, condoms, netflicks

No those are not the ingredients for a romantic night at home :)

Chocolate, condoms, netflicks, romance novels, McDonalds and more...are among the industries that are doing well during the current recession.

Check out this article to read about the top 10: 10 Winners in the Recession

You'll see what people are turning to when times are tough. Some out of necessity, some out of desperation.

There are obvious ones like career building web sites and resume editing.

Some people are making wise cuts in spending: Netflicks is ultimately cheaper than taking the family to the movies and at-home coffee is cheaper than Caribou or Starbucks.

But what about chocolate? Romance Novels? McDonalds?

What does that say about what/who we turn to when times are tough? Do we indulge in sweets? Do we try to escape by reading a love story? Do we fill up on salt and fat?

At times, all those sound good to me. But am I partaking in activities or developing habits that I'm not proud of? Good things to ponder.

I just wanted to share this article and challenge each one of us as wise women to be aware and intentional about the daily choices we are making.....

Tuesday, April 14

Another Spring Recipe...YUM!

Here's another fun recipe to welcome in the warmer weather...

Frozen Yogurt Pie

Make granola pie crust:
1 1/2 cups granola (I used 'Bunches, Just Bunches'...it tasted great...less fat than granola)
1/4 cup butter (I used Smart Balance...healthier), melted
1/4 cup flour
1/4 cup brown sugar

Mix together, put in pie pan and bake for 10 minutes at 350 degrees

Let cool

Fill the crust with Kemps strawberry frozen yogurt (or ice cream). Top it with a chocolate drizzle. Add a dollup of whip cream and fresh strawberries just before serving.

So easy and refreshing.

Monday, April 13

An Easter Recipe

I hosted an Easter brunch at my house yesterday. One of the dishes I served is the same one that Barb serves every year on Christmas.

It is so easy, so simple and so delicious. It takes just a couple minutes to prepare the night before and then you just pop it in the oven in the morning.


Caramel Breakfast Ring
18 Rhodes frozen dinner rolls (and not any more!!)
1 small box cook and serve Butterscotch pudding (not instant)
1/2 cup butter
1/2 cup brown sugar

Optional: 1/2 cup chopped nuts (place in bundt pan first if use)

Put 18 rolls in greased bundt pan. Sprinkle with butterscotch pudding. Bring butter and brown sugar to a boil. Stir until mixed thoroughly. Pour over frozen dough rolls. Cover overnight with a towel and in the morning bake in oven for 1/2 hour at 325 or 350. Be sure to put a cookie sheet under the bundt pan to catch the caramel overflow :)
Turn upside on a platter after several minutes. Serve warm.

Enjoy this delicious recipe with friends or family for the next holiday, breakfast or brunch you attend. Everyone is sure to love it!

Saturday, April 11

Happy Easter!










Have a blessed and wonderful Easter weekend!

Barb & Stacy