Keeping your eyes half shut. . .

I am going to piggyback off of Barb’s post on Monday if that is okay-mainly because I think it is that important.

Before my husband and I got married we loved to read books on marriage, and one of the best pieces of advice we gleaned from one of those books was to “. . .keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half shut after marriage.” Think about that for a minute-let it soak in.

Think of the marriages you know, did those couples examine their marriage with both eyes wide open before they said, “I do?” Did they look with a critical eye asking themselves if those things that bothered or annoyed them were things they were willing to live with? Then once they were married do they now look at their spouse with eyes half shut? Not knit-picking apart those things that are unimportant?

I made a commitment to myself (and Jeff) early in our marriage that I was not going to talk about my husband, in a negative way, in front of others. Does my husband do things that annoy me? Sure. Do I do things that annoy him-you better believe it, but I make a conscience effort not to talk about those things with others. Not because I want others to think we have a marriage with no fights, but because I decided that I wanted to love Jeff enough to honor him by making him look good to others. I want us (just Jeff and I) to work on those things in our marriage that need to be worked on. I do not need a team of women backing my point-of-view when we get in a fight. If I do that, am I not just looking to be right? And shouldn’t a marriage be about working at it together and seeing each other in the best possible light (seeing your husband as God sees him)? I want to look at the positives that Jeff brings to my life and by not talking to other women about the stupid everyday annoyances it allows me to see him in a better light. I truly believe that what we spend our time focusing on is what we will see. For the sake of your marriage this Valentine's Day, keep those eyes half shut and start building your marriage by keeping your mouth shut!

I hope you and your husband have a very Happy Valentine's Day!

A Valentine Card to YOU...Be Happy!

I would assume that most of the readers of this blog are women who are looking for good marriages. They want to do what it takes to make their marriage work...and really be happy.

I have contended for many years that one of the best ways to make your marriage work is to be happy! I know I am as guilty as any woman in this area. For some reason we think our husbands are here as a sounding board, ready to absorb all our discontent and complaints.

Men generally are ok with their marriages. Most would probably say they are Happy. They are just unhappy that their wives can't be happy...because that is an attitude we love to convey to our mates.

Years ago, I used to go on a 'date' with my husband...with pen and paper in hand. I was always wanting to improve some aspect of our relationship or our family. I couldn't just Be Happy! Needless to say, it was my attitude that had to improve in order to make 'date night' or any other aspect of my marriage better.

As you plan for Valentine's Day and for your own date nights in 2010, consider the condition of your heart. That is what matters.

I know there are always things to be improved upon. There will always be situations you want to be different, but complaining and criticizing only closes down your husband's heart.

Here's an early Valentine card to you this year:

Dear Homemakers with Hope Anywhere and Everywhere,

1. Don't be critical with/of your husbands
2. Be Happy

...and have a wonderful Valentine's day all year long

Love,
Barb

Want the PERFECT Valentine's Gift for your HUSBAND?

Make 2010, a Valentine's Day to remember for your husband.

2010 is a year to be intentional. So be intentional with this gift.

Be intentional and go on a CRITICISM FAST for one week. No critical remarks, no complaining to others about him. Intentionally think good things about your husband. Choose to see the man you are married to, not the man you think he should be.

We just came off a week of blogging about our thought life and our mind. This is a perfect time to put alot of that insight into practice.

If you find you need to clarify something to your husband because he said or did something that really offended you or ticked you off, lead into the discussion with good intent.

"I know you didn't intend to upset me but what you said really hurt my feelings. I know you meant something different, but you came across harshly."

This approach in correcting your man teaches him what he did and why you responded the way you did...without criticizing him.

It's a challenge, but what a gift for the love of your life to receive for one week. NO CRITICISM. That means no grumbling to your mom, girlfriends or even your babies! It means thinking great thoughts about him.

Watch your words

Consider your facial expressions

Don't let your body language speak negatively

Bring every thought about your husband into captivity and replace the negative thoughts with thoughts that build him up in your mind (if you have to go back to your dating days to conjure up those thoughts, do it!)

Check out Ps 141:3 and post this on your mirror until Valentine's Day.

"Set a watch over my mouth, O Lord
Keep watch over the door of my lips"

When Valentine's Day comes on Sunday, trust me, your husband won't be looking for any other gift from you.

Worry

What do I often find running through my brain? Worry. How can I get this baby to sleep through the night? Is she eating enough? Am I playing with my toddler enough so she feels important? Are they reaching the developmental milestones they should be? Is my husband feeling supported? Am I a good wife, mother, friend, sister, homemaker, etc.? These are only a few of the things I worry about. When I dwell on these thoughts I feel stressed. When I am stressed I respond impatiently and that usually leads to more worry.

I am currently reading an EXCELLENT book. It is called Crazy Love by Francis Chan. This part really made me think.

"Worry implies that we don't quite trust that God is big enough, powerful enough, or loving enough to take care of what's happening in our lives. Stress says that the things we are involved in are important enough to merit our impatience, our lack of grace towards others or our tight grip of control. "

Convicted. That is how I felt when I read that. Not in a shameful, I want to run from God kind of way. It made me want to turn from what I dwell on and give all of those thoughts over to a God who is big enough, loving enough and who cares deeply about me. God does not want me addicted to worry. He wants me to know He is enough. I can love Him with everything that I am and He will guide me. He will give me the strength, patience, endurance, grace, etc. to face each new day and circumstance. That is what I want to dwell on. Oh how very thankful I am that I know God.

being a mom helps with self talk. . .

Self-talk is such a hard topic to narrow down to one blog post, but it is something very much worth writing about. I think as women we struggle with self-talk and we need to address it as such. I struggle with negative self talk as much as the next person, like right now I catch myself thinking I am not qualified to be writing this post. If I kept thinking that over and over I could eventually talk myself into not posting. I may not be an expert on self talk, but the truth is since I am a child of God, desiring to be an intentional women who wants to encourage other woman to pursue what is best, then am I not as qualified as the next person? I need to be constantly aware of the lies I tell myself. What is Satan keeping you from doing today because he has “talked” you out of it?

What I am most surprised about with self-talk is how it just creeps up on you. The verse Philippians 4:8 is posted in my home, and it is a good reminder of what I should be focused on. Whatever is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, praiseworthy THINK about such things. Yes, this is a tall order, but if I spend my time focused on those things would my self-talk be rooted in the Truths of God’s Word or in those things of this world? I know that I cannot do this in and of myself. I am as busy as the next woman and get pulled in every different direction, but I think being an intentional woman involves consistently being aware of our self-talk. We need to be plugged into the Truth of God’s Word. We need to be armed with the Truth so that when the lies are identified in our self-talk we can combat them with that Truth.

One thing I’ve realized lately is that as a mother of two young girls I am very aware of what they are putting into their minds. I watch very closely what they watch on TV or video, what they listen to, what they play on the computer, what they read. . .the list goes on. As a mother I desire for my children to not be exposed to those things in life that they are not ready for or should never be putting into their minds. Shouldn’t I be as concerned about what I put into my mind and what I choose to tell myself? I marvel at God’s design. How He uses those things in my everyday life to continually draw me back to Him-if I will only take the time to pause and listen.

I encourage you today to stop and really think about what you are telling yourself. Are you telling yourself Truth? Are you looking at yourself through God’s eyes or are you busy telling yourself the lies of this world-you’re not good enough. . .your not pretty enough. . .fill your mind with the Truth. God made you just the way you are for a purpose. No one else can fulfill that purpose but you!

Become a Student of What You Think

So how is your mind today? Have you been tracking your thoughts? Your self talk?

If you have given it some attention, you will notice that the health of your body does indeed affect your mental state and that is why it is so important for a woman to take care of herself in all areas of life.

That is easier said than done if you are a young mom with dependent kids who demand your attention all day long. But even a busy young mom can become a student of all that she thinks.

The words we mutter to ourselves have great impact. Our 'soundless thoughts' have the power to encourage or discourage us. They can motivate or deflate us. They can speak joy into our lives or take us on a downhill spiral.

"It is not enough to have a good mind. The main thing is to use it well." (Rene Descartes)

This subject is much bigger than a few blog postings can handle, but it's like all the other topics we touch upon, I hope it will begin to make you mindful of how you are using your mind.

A big breakthrough for me as I tried to discipline my thoughts and my self talk was to express my thoughts as silent prayers. When I worry, I pray...and then I follow it up with a prayer of thanksgiving. Seeing self-talk as a constant stream of prayer keeps my mind set on things above. Easy to do? Not in my own power it isn't. Only the Holy Spirit can keep me in prayer.

I've also found that if I discipline my mouth along with my thoughts, I speak what I seek rather than what I am afraid will happen.

Trying to be productive with my self talk and thoughts is better than wallowing in fear and
worry.

Who I spend time with also reinforces my positive or negative thinking. I have found that my negative self talk increases when I hang out with negative people.

Self talk is like every habit we talk about in Homemakers, it's the progress we are making that counts...not perfection...that we can't achieve anyway!

What's on Your Mind?

"Nurture great thoughts, for you will never go higher than your thoughts." That's a quote from Benjamin Disraeli


Have you ever been asked 'How is your mind today"? That's probably just as important as asking a friend how she is feeling. A healthy mind produces joy, like a healthy body produces energy.

A healthy mind is important for a woman who wants to be intentional because it's the mind that will keep her attention on her intention!

Becoming highly sensitive to what you think about most often is the quickest way to build intentionality into your life.

Last year, in Homemakers with Hope we focused on 'Self Talk'. There is so much we discussed, but this week we will give you a few things to think about as we review what we learned.

"Approximately 90% of today's thoughts are repeats from yesterday and the day before", according to Tommy Newberry, author and speaker.
With that in mind, it is a major undertaking to change up our thought-life. The time to really concentrate on your own thought life is before your kids start talking! Their thoughts only add to the mix and then you really have a full tank.

Newberry says that 'what you persistently think eventually but inevitably crystallizes into the words you speak and then the things you do".

That's what Luke 6:45 says "The good woman brings good things out of the good stored up in her heart, and the evil woman brings evil things out of the evil stored up in her heart. For out of the overflow of her heart her mouth speaks." (I changed the pronoun to a woman)

As women, we have control over our thoughts. Learning to focus on our thoughts and have authority over our self-talk is an exercise that we never out-grow.

Newberry goes so far to say that "you are writing your own life story with each subtle and soundless thought you think." I like the vision that 'soundless' brings to mind...a soundless thought can have such impact.

This week consider what is on your mind as we share briefly about our thought life and self-talk.

Quick Snack for Family and Friends

This is a great recipe to use when you have a ton of prezels left over!

Honey Spiced Pretzels

Ingredients
4 cups thin pretzel sticks
3 tablespoons honey
2 teaspoons butter or margarine, melted
1 teaspoon onion powder
1 teaspoon chili powder

Directions
Line a 15 x10 baking pan with foil; coat the foil with nonstick cooking spray. Place pretzels in a large bowl.
In a small bowl, combine the honey, butter, onion powder and chili powder.
Pour over pretzels; toss to coat evenly.
Spread into prepared pan.
Bake at 350 degrees for 8 minutes, stirring once. Cool on a wire rack, stirring gently several times to separate.

Have a fun weekend and try a new recipe!

Taco Pile Up

I saw that Barb had posted a Taco Casserole type dish on Monday and I thought I would add our family's version! YUM!

Taco Pile Up

1 can crescent rolls
4 cups chopped up chips (we use Doritos)
1 lb. ground beef
1 cup onion
1 package taco seasoning
small can of tomato sauce
1 cup sour cream
2 cups cheese

Preheat oven to 350. Brown the beef and onion together. Add the taco seasoning mix and small can of tomato sauce to the beef. Spread the unbaked crescent rolls in a greased 9 x 13 pan. Sprinkle 1 cup of the chopped up chips on the crescent rolls. Put the meat mixture on top of the chips. Spread the sour cream over the meat. Top the sour cream with cheese and finally sprinkle the remaining chips on top. Bake for 30 minutes. Serve this with salsa, olives, lettuce and sour cream.

Enjoy!

3 Ingredient Taco Dip

This may be the easiest taco dip you ever make and it is so very tasty. A friend brought it over the holidays I couldn't get enough of it. It is great on its own or could be used in a typical Mexican layer dip if you choose. I think it would be a great football game appetizer.

1 pkg Top the Tater (found by the sour cream)

1 pkg cream cheese

add a few tsp of taco seasoning (for color-not needed for flavor)

Serve chilled with a bag of Doritos for dipping-Doritos really make the difference.

Enjoy! Thanks for the recipe Liz!

Family Dessert

Here's a fast and easy dessert you can make with ingredients you have on hand. I think it tastes ALOT better the next day.

Apple Enchiladas

(21 ounce) can apple pie filling (I make my own apple sauce and keep it chunky...add a good amount...more than 21 oz, it might ooze-out but that is ok!
6 (8 inch) flour tortillas
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/3 cup margarine
1/2 cup white sugar
1/2 cup packed brown sugar
1/2 cup water

Directions:
1.Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C).
2.Spoon fruit evenly onto all tortillas, sprinkle with cinnamon. Roll up tortillas and place seam side down on lightly greased 8x8 baking pan.
3.Bring margarine, sugars and water to a boil in a medium sauce pan. Reduce heat and simmer, stirring constantly for 3 minutes.
4.Pour sauce evenly over tortillas; sprinkle with extra cinnamon on top if desired. Bake in preheated oven for 20 minutes.
5.Makes 6 large tortillas; may be cut in half to serve 12.

Re-heat in microwave if you serve it the next day. Top with dollop of ice cream. Ummmm!

Bummer!

That's the word-of-the-day around here as The Vikings lost their final game of the year. Crushed are our SuperBowl hopes. No excuse for a party.

Good thing we celebrated yesterday with some goodies to share:

Here's a Beef Taco-Style Casserole recipe your family and friends will like:

1 large onion (finely chopped)
1 T butter
2# ground beef
1 t salt
2 clove garlic (minced)
2 cans (8 oz each) tomato sauce
2 T red or white wine vinegar
2 T chili powder
1# can kidney beans (drained)
1 pkg ( 11oz) corn chips
1/2# mild or sharp cheddar cheese, shredded

Brown meat with onion in butter. Add salt, garlic, tomato sauce, vinegar and chili powder. Cover and simmer 15 minutes. Mix in kidney beans
Lightly butter 10" square baking dish. Cover bottom with corn chips. Sprinkle with cheese and spoon over half meat mixture.
Repeat layer.
Top with chips and cheese.
Bake uncovered. 350 until cheese melts and chips are toasty

Serve with condiments:
Shredded Lettuce
Shredded Cheese
Green Onions
Chopped Tomatoes
Sour Cream
Black Olives
Hot sauce

Quite a colorful dish, so it must be healthy!

Uncommon

Donna Otto, author and speaker, has a great motto that goes something like this:

"The Common begin...the Uncommon finish"

Think about that for a moment. It's the 'everyday gal' that begins a task with gusto, only to move on to another endeavor, leaving the first undone. Donna says that is the common thing to do, everybody does it. But does that make it right?

I still struggle with this syndrome. I think women today have so many good choices it is easy to move from one task to another never really allowing ourselves to be accountable and complete a job well.

Self-examination on a regular basis helps me stay focused. It helps me complete a job or a goal or a task because I am reminded of why I am doing it. I re-commit and move forward.

I have learned there may be times when I quit along the way, but that is after I have evaluated what and why I am doing something and then I MAKE that choice. When I was younger, I used to flit from task to task...system to system but I think with self-evaluation I am more aware of completing a worthwhile exercise and I reap the benefits as I continue to evaluate my growth.

When my kids were little I made them memorize this jingle:

When a job is first begun,
Do it well and get it done

Whether it is big or small,
Do it well or not at all!

I said it along with my kids for years, but it took years for me to practice what I preached. Self-evaluation opened my eyes to what I wasn't getting done. It encouraged me to stay the course.

If you decide to make 2010 a year to evaluate your goals and priorities, think of yourself as 'Uncommon' and be proud!

Completion

I am a big fan of starting things. I love starting simple things like crafts or organizing a closet. I even love starting more challenging things like new responsibilities, relationships, or activities. I am not a big fan of completion. I have many a craft undone in my craft room. I have a closet upstairs that is half organized. I have relationships that got started wonderfully but somehow I have lost touch with some due to the busyness of life. Does this sound familiar with any of you?

That is why when I sit down to write about goals or priorities I get a little discouraged. Will this be something I aim to complete but fail? Because life is busy and I am running on little sleep I get tempted to say that the only thing I am going to complete this year will be to love my husband and my sweet little girls. These are worthy priorities but I need to set some goals even in the busy times. Otherwise, how will I grow? How will I continue to become the woman God wants me to be if I take a timeout for a year because I am a young mother? I am clearly not saying that this would be the year to decide to take on new activities or commit to reading a book a week. That would be nonsense. But I am saying that even in this time when I am spread thin, I want to be growing and learning.

So, how am I going to succeed this year? I am going to evaluate myself on my goals. I honestly see the wisdom in a weekly evaluation. One of my goals is to eat a healthy breakfast in the morning with healthy snacks in between meals. On Sunday I am looking back at my week to see how I did. On the mornings I didn't do so great I can look and see what caused me to slip. Was I rushing to get out the door or was I just choosing something sugary despite my goal to eat healthier during the day?

This self evaluation will take some alone time and that is just what I need. I am in a demanding season of life and that is all the more reason for me to be intentional. I don't want to struggle to just keep my head above water this year or have intentions that never reach completion. This year I see my priorities clearly and have set goals that will be completed.

Making this a habit. . .

Life is cumulative . . .that is both encouraging and convicting all at the same time. In one sense our lives are not defined by one choice or moment, but on the other hand we need to be thinking about how we spend those daily moments because they are what make up our life.

After reading through our last chapter and taking a few personality tests, I have come to realize I am more of an introvert than I would have ever thought. (For those of you who know me that will come as a surprise as it did me). I am happy in the sense that by nature I self-evaluate on a regular basis, but I will admit I am not as intentional as I would like to be. After discussing this topic at homemakers on Monday I realized I fall into the category of wanting the system to work (ie journaling, recording on a calendar etc.) to record my goals of daily life, that I often get caught up in trying to find the perfect system instead of focusing on the purpose of that system. Do any of you have that problem? I think that has to do with my perfectionism. I want to have it just right before I jump in with both feet. I think I am realizing with this, I do not want to be that way. I feel that taking the time on a regular basis to review my choices and priorities will help me be more intentional. I have decided to take Barb’s advice and just choose one day a week, Sunday for me, and ask myself the questions she posted in the previous post(s). She suggested just getting into the habit of asking ourselves those questions so we can evaluate how our week went, not to beat ourselves up about our choices, but to help us evaluate if we are moving closer to our goals and living out our priorities. After awhile of just taking the time to ask the questions, it will hopefully become a habit and can transfer into a system that works.

I think this is one of those times where the rubber meets the road for me. I believe this is a great idea to help me be more intentional, but is not something that comes easily. I will have to make the choice to not do something else on Sundays in order to focus on my weekly review.

I hope some of you will join me in Barb’s challenge. In order to be intentional women we have to self evaluate. We need to write down where we are going, what our priorities are and then evaluate them on a short-term basis so that we can make adjustments so we can ultimately achieve our goals. I am so thankful for the reminder to not just let life happen to me but to be proactive and involved.

Life is Cumulative!

What we do in January will pay off for us next December. So what are you doing today that is significant in building your life?

Once you have identified what your priorities are, you are ready to set up some goals for yourself.

Goals are something YOU can master. If you say you want a good marriage you really can't say that is a goal. It is dependent on you AND your husband.

A marriage goal for January might be to speak a word of encouragement to your husband daily. It is something you can be responsible for and follow thru with it. It is measureable.

What goals do you have for your physical health?

What are your goals for your mental/emotional health?

Do you have any goals for the friendships in your life?

What goals can YOU be responsible for financially in 2010?

What are your spiritual goals?

What you do today will add to your quality of life or will come back as a burden.

Write down your goals in PRESENT tense.

Make them MEASURABLE.

Make them manageable for the season of life you are in.

Look at your goals daily or at least weekly. At the end of every month, adjust what you need to in order to keep those goals manageable and achievable for yourself.

Life is cumulative, so be sure your life is accumulating the right stuff!

Identify your priorities. Set some goals. Enjoy defining your life.

Priorities

At homemakers we are always talking about our priorities. How do we know how to prioritize our lives?

When trying to figure out what your priorities are for this year...or for January, ask youself the simple question,

"Can someone else do this?"

If someone else can do what you are agonizing over, perhaps you should let someone else do it! If, however, only you can fill those shoes, you have identified a priority that you need to put on your list of MUST DO.

Can only you love your husband? (I hope the answer is yes!)

Can only you breast feed your baby?

Can only you speak words of comfort to your child?

Can only you take care of your body?

Can only you be responsible for eating healthy food?

Can only you move your body today to get your heart pumping?

Can only you hide God's Word in your heart?

Can only you honor your mom today as a daughter?

Can only you pray for your kids with a mother's heart?

Can only you clean your house?

Can only you know when your friend needs to hear from you?

Can only you do the dishes?

Can only you do the job you were hired for...and getting a paycheck for?

Can only you build your house as in Proverbs 14:1?

If you ask yourself questions beginning with "Can only you..." you will find it easier to identify your priorities.

January 2010...what are your priorities for the season in life that you are in?

Year in Review

If you don't have a lot to review on your own, here's are few questions to help you wrap up 2009:

1. What was the 'moment of the year' for you in 2009?

2. Who was the 'person of the year' that influenced you the most?
Why?

3. What didn't work for you this year?

4. What was good for you in 2009?

5. How many books did you read this year?

6. What is one thing you learned from a book?

7. What one choice did you make during the year that you will remember?

8. What Bible verse meant alot to you this year? Did you memorize it?

These questions will only begin making sense to you as you make a habit of asking yourself these questions each year. You will begin to be on the look for people speaking into your lives. Your 'moment of the year' might be the birth of a child to the death of a parent. You will be present in the moment each day. You will be more mindful of what, if anything you are reading.
We are forever reviewing ourselves in many other areas of life...our personal growth should be right up there in importance.

Asking yourself these questions and more will help you appreciate the life you are living. You will see how God is working it altogether for good even when everyday seems like a blur.

Examine yourself as you lived 2009. It will help you navigate 2010 all the more.

Participate in your growth. . .my thoughts

Participate in your growth was the title of Barb’s last post. What a novel idea huh? Be present, be purposeful, be intentional. I would guess that those are things we all want to be. I had a hard time thinking about what to write in response to Barb’s post, but it got me thinking back to our last homemakers meeting when we talked about what if our ultimate pursuit was knowing God. Shouldn’t we as Christian women be focusing on that? As Christians we sometimes get so caught up in the rituals and disciplines of Christianity that we lose sight of that purpose. The rituals and disciplines become our god instead of focusing on God and letting that determine our rituals and disciplines. It may seem like semantics, but I don’t think it is. I think that out of a purposeful relationship with Jesus comes a desire to spend time with him, a desire to put in place things in your life to help you focus on God. We live in a world, especially in America, that bombards us with everything possible to distract us. I say it often, but I think one of Satan’s greatest tools is busyness. We need to put into place rituals and routines that help us refocus and play an active role in our growth. We are saved by grace, but if we are truly focused on knowing God, there should be evidence in our life that we are loving Him. I hope I am making sense. I think as we strive to be wise women we need to have strategies in place to help up stay focused and on the right path.

I struggle each year in January as I figure out how best achieve this goal. Some years I use a notebook, some a calendar. . .I haven’t found the perfect system and maybe I never will since life changes so much. I think the main thing is that each year I am trying to keep my actions in check with my purpose. I would love to hear ideas from you on ways you record and measure your growth.

Participate in your Growth

Elizabeth Elliot, Bible teacher and author, says that women are 'called to participate' in their spiritual growth. We are to be accountable for what we are doing on a daily basis.

What is your attitude towards growing your soul? While I know that salvation is totally by grace and not by works, I have found that I have to participate in my growth or I quickly fill up my days and mind with alot of clutter.

Is there one thing you could do different in 2010 that would trigger a real change in how you are growing? As a young mom, start small. Start simple. Just start.

Then record it

Then think about it when you can during the day. See how God brings it to your mind, prompts you with a song on the radio or encourages you in an article you might pick up in passing. Pray for God to enable you to make the needed changes...whether it is to have more patience with your kids, speak kindly to your husband, or to be more grateful.

Then record what you are learning. Date your entries.

Then review it at the end of the year.

That's all. I am the voice of experience. If I had know 38 years ago what a simple thing such as writing down a prayer of change would mean to my soul, I would have done it! Instead, I kept procrastinating, thinking I had to come up with a new and improved me. God just wanted me to get on board with Him and He made the necessary changes. Recording what I was learning is where I really began seeing the changes.

Don't let alot of resolutions, systems and busyness get in the way. Pick ONE THING to focus on in 2010 and then 'actively participate' to make it happen in your life.

How Wise are You?

A woman isn't wise because of what she knows, she is wise in the way in which she lives.

The start of a New Year is a great time to take stock of how we lived in 2009. Did you live wisely? It sure is easier to put a plan into place than to execute it so that is why it is important to step back and examine just what we did.

Do you have a notebook or journal you can review? Notes from sermons or CD's that you enjoyed?

I have used probably every form of 'recording my life' possible so I could comment on the effectiveness of many systems, but the important thing is to record something each year.

Three items have become foundational in my growth each year. Not only to keep me on track but to have something to examine at the end of each year.

First, I have a notebook that I put all my notes from the year in. This is where I put my book reviews, my notes about my theme and other notes that I found useful during the year. There have been years where I used this notebook as a journal, writing in it everyday.

Secondly, I have a calendar from every year. I try to find a really flat one that fits inside my notebook. This has taken the place of my journal in that I record prayer requests in it and other important happenings. I love looking back at this calendar at the end of every year to be reminded of answered prayers and tough decisions that had to be made. This is an invaluable tool for keeping me mindful and grateful.

Thirdly, I have a Bible that I use only for highlighting the verses I know. This Bible prompted me to choose my theme for last year, as I realized I could mark alot of verses I was familiar with, but really didn't know them well. What I have found to be valuable about this tool, is that I can grab it at any time and take it with me when I know I have some time to review my verses. Dr appointments, waiting to pick up someone, business appointments that might keep me waiting...I don't need to have any fancy system. I just take this Bible with me and I have something that will be of value as I go about my day.

As young moms, I know your days are full, but that is all the more reason to find a system to record your life...as simply as you can. Prayers, Bible verses, books read and quotes that are meaningful are just a few of the essentials that will feed your soul and remind you daily what it means to live in a wise manner. If you record just a page a year, you will have something to look back on and say, 'yes', I remember those days and I remember learning that piece of insight, whatever that might be. It will build on itself and soon you will have 5, 10, 15 years to look back on and see why you are the woman you have become.

That's when you will be living is a wise woman.

My oh my is it really time to pick another theme? It honestly seems like yesterday that I was choosing my theme for the past year. Time really does fly and this is one of the reasons that I love picking a theme to focus on throughout the year. Life goes by so quickly and having a theme for a year allows me to focus on things that matter. When things are good and when things are bad, I am focusing on something that is allowing me to draw closer to Jesus.

This past year my theme was Hope. I focused on knowing who or what my hope is in. I saw numerous times where I was looking in the wrong direction and I also saw times that I was truly at peace even in tough circumstances because I know where my hope comes from.

As I pick this year's theme I would like it to be something that is more measurable. Picking a theme is kind of the easy part. :) The tough part is making sure I follow through. Having a way to measure my growth would be really helpful and I am hoping to implement some sort of action plan this year. If you choose to pick a theme this year, I would encourage you to find a way to measure your growth as well. I think it really will make a difference.

Reflecting on my 2009 theme

I am just like Barb when it comes to the new year. I am not sure what it is about January, but I always feel like I have been given a fresh start and I love that feeling.

Barb introduced us a few years ago to the idea of themes, and I must admit while I loved the idea, I wasn’t sure how or what it would look like for me and my daily life. Just like Barb stated, through the years I have chosen themes that have made a huge impact, and I can really see the Lord using that theme to help me grow while other years the year just seems to go by-and it hasn’t impacted me as much as I would have liked. If I am honest I think those are the years I didn’t take enough time to choose a word that relates to my stage of life as well as me not putting enough effort into applying and searching out ways to help me grow in that given area.

I have not officially chosen my theme for 2010, but I definitely have a few in mind. We will be sharing those at a later date so I will take a few moments to reflect back on 2009. My theme was to be intentional. I loved this theme, but also feel like one year was not enough. Being intentional is a daily decision, and I will need to continue on for the rest of my life.

Barb had us do an activity one time about writing out what we would like to have written on our headstone if we were to die. While I will probably never totally have it figured out, I would love for it to say somewhere on it that I was an intentional woman, that I did not do what everyone else did, I lived out a life where when others looked at me they would see something different. They would see me making choices, daily choices that made me more like Jesus. I have such a long way to go, and I know I can only walk that journey with the Lord by my side cheering me on. That is what I think Barb wants for us with these yearly themes. It helps us focus on areas where we can learn to be more godly women, wives, and mothers. I think having something to focus on is a great way to help in your walk with the Lord. While I will look back on 2009 as the year when I really focused on being intentional, I will know it was the year I made a commitment to be intentional for the rest of my life. I am so thankful I have a relationship with the Lord who will help me on a daily basis! Happy 2010!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

I love new beginnings!

New calendars, new check registers (does anyone use them anymore?!), empty files, a new pile of books to read, new resolutions...and a new theme for 2010.

Did you have a theme for 2009 and if you did, how did it affect your year?

My theme for 2009 was to "renew my mind". I was curious to see how this theme would unfold for me. I have chosen a theme for many years now. Some years I really see how my theme just captivates me and affects so many different aspects of my life. Some years I fall short of what I hope to learn about my theme.

This year I shouldn't have been surprise how constant I was reminded of how and why I needed to renew my mind. My self-talk really took a beating as I became aware of how much of my self-talk needed to be improved upon.

I will talk more about my theme in abit, but for now, I would like to encourage any of you to consider a topic that you would like to go deeper in. I have found that a few guidelines made a difference to my growth in having a theme:

1. Pick a theme that is measureable. One year I studied prayer. Such a vast subject to focus on, so I narrowed it down to praying for my kids. I developed a system that would hold me accountable to praying for my kids in a very purposeful way. After 365 days, I had developed some strong muscles in this area just because I had chosen prayer as my theme that year.

2. Write down your theme. Sometimes I start a year with one theme, but as I write down exactly what I am trying to accomplish with the theme, I word it more succinctly and it becomes manageable.

3. Always refer to it in the present tense. This year I kept telling myself I was renewing my mind and therefore, I was thinking about such things. It kept me mindful of just what I was thinking daily, not just when I sat down to ponder my theme.

Choosing a theme each year has defined many years for me in very special ways.

Renewing My Mind

Having a yearly theme has been a very personal exercise for me. Looking back, I think maybe I should have shared it with others just to keep my momentum going. I didn't want it to become like a resolution where I was determined to achieve a desired result. I wanted to delve into an area abit more purposeful, but I didn't want it to be a pass/fail type of endeavor.

This year I chose a theme to 'renew my mind'. I initally thought that would be simply to organize all the Bible verses I have memorized. I had alot of verses rattling around in my brain, but couldn't locate them accurately so my hope was to use my mind in a very purposeful way...and to learn the verse and reference once and for all.

I wasn't sure exactly what I wanted the end result to be, I simply wanted to be more mindful of my thought-life and I thought it would be measureable if I concentrated on what was in my memory bank.

I wasn't going to do this to sing my praises that I memorize verses

I was simply putting Rom 12:2 into an organized way of 'renewing my mind'.

I had a great time trying different systems. I spent the first 2 months trying to get a system into place...and in essence avoiding doing the work that this theme required, memorizing!

I finally set up a simple system of recording the verses in a handy way I could review them and recall where I would find them in the Bible. Very simple. Very accessible.

I was very ambitious to begin with, thinking I could memorize a verse a day...365 verses in 2009. Then I realized I would be doing it for all the wrong reasons and i would never be able to recall them all.

So I became realistic and simply made a point of 'renewing my mind' daily with verses and spent alot of time in review. I became much more conscious of WHAT I was thinking on an on-going basis.

'Renewing my mind' became alot more than just memorizing.

My theme for 2010? I don't know yet. Several ideas intrigue me, but I have learned not to force a theme. God will reveal what He wants me to work on.

How about you? Are you ready to have a theme that will help you define 2010 for your life?

Happy New Year!!!

Barb has a New Year's Eve tradition that she has been doing since her kids were very young. I love this idea and wanted to share....

Make your table festive for New Year's Eve or New Year's Day by adding the following:

CANDY... for sweet adventures in the New Year!

AN APPLE... for a New Year of smiles!

COAL... for love and warmth throughout the New Year!

PEANUTS (in the shell!)...a New Year of surprises!

Scatter some of the items around the table, putting an apple on each plate. A quick note written on the computer could sit beside each place setting to explain your wishes for each of your loved ones.

Simple, but it works to stimulate a discussion for everyone's dreams for the New Year.

Have a Happy New Year!

Remembering 2009

Are you ready for this year to end? It seems like everyone I talk to says they can't believe it's the New Year again. Where did the time go?

I've found about the best way to track my year is by reviewing the books I've read. I keep a notebook and I record a brief summary of the books I read. I hate to admit this, but as I looked through my notebook today, there were books I read that I forgot all about. That means I don't remember too much about what is inside of them either:) Still, I am glad I read the books I did. In my notebook I fill out a quick synopsis of each book:

Name of book:
Author:
Number of pages in book:
Number of pages I read: (most the time I finish a book, but if it's not really speaking to me, I just record the number of pages I do read. It helps me to know if I should recommend a book, etc.)
Where did I hear about the book:
Premise of book:
Did it meet my expectations:
Would I recommend it to other women:
Why or why not:
What did I learn and hope to remember:


In 2009 I read 2 of John Ortberg's books, "When the Game is Over, it all goes Back in the Box" and Everybody's Normal till you get to Know Them". Both good books, easy reading, alot of good stuff. Highly recommend them.

I read 2 books by Margaret Feinberg. She is a popular author for women. "The Organic God" tells of her journey to see God's beauty daily. She asks, "What do you love about Jesus?" That is her way to open up conversations with other women. She maintains that sharing one's faith is a matter of connection, not coercion.
Her other book, "The Sacred Echo" is about prayer.

I recommend any of these 4 books if you are looking for inspiration and growth of your soul in 2010.

I loved reading to my kids when they were young. When they began reading books by themselves, I asked them which ones they would recommend for me to read. It made them think about why they were reading the books they chose and also gave us lots to talk about.

To my surprise, my kids continued to recommend books to me all the way through college!

In 2009, Dan told me about 4 books that I would never have picked up on my own. I learned alot about what he was studying and again gave us some good conversation around the books.

If you are looking for New Year's Resolutions...reading, recording what you read and reading what your kids are reading are 3 good ones to consider!

A Funny yet Creepy Christmas Story

Just thought I would share an interesting story about my Christmas this year. I need to first explain our house a bit. Our house is laid out where our garage is on the side of the house so you have to walk around the garage to get to the front door so we often just open our garage door and let those who visit come in through our garage. So our garage door is often found open. We also live up on a hill so we have a few steps that lead to a landing before you enter our back door. That said, we opened our garage door Christmas morning for my husband to shovel the beautiful snow that had fallen the night before. After breakfast and gift opening I walked outside to throw out the garbage when I almost stepped in a pile of poop right outside our back door. I called my husband and asked if he had seen it when he had gone out to shovel before, he hadn’t. A bit perplexed we shrugged it off to the neighbor’s dog who often can be found walking in our garage. I cleaned it up and we went on with our day. A bit later my husband went back to the garage to put a book into his backpack to take to work only to find a huge mess inside his backpack. He had forgotten to take out a few gifts he had been given before Christmas (he is a teacher) and all his candy was unwrapped and eaten. We figured then that it was probably not the neighbors dog that had be rummaging around in our garage. The first thought was it must have been a raccoon, what else could it be? I was pretty freaked out by now and didn’t want to be in the garage or have my children in the garage. We were hopeful it was not in the garage anymore but we needed to be sure. So we went over to my parent’s house to borrow their live trap. We placed a piece of bacon in the trap and set it. After watching a movie, we decided to go see if we had caught anything. We had. . .this is what was in our trap…no it’s not a giant rat-though it does look like one…

It’s an opossum. Can’t say I knew we even had opossums in Minnesota. It was very creepy to look at at 11:00 at night. We left it in the trap over night and Jeff read up on opossums on the web. We weren’t sure what to do with it. After reading that they are actually good for the environment and are wandering animals (I didn’t want it coming back to visit) we decided to let it go in a field close to our home. We all bundled up the day after Christmas and drove our opossum friend to his new home. Our girls thought it was so cute they wanted to keep him for a pet. We tried explaining the wild animal aspect but they didn’t buy it. Needless to say the moral of the story is close your garage door! Okay maybe it was just a fluke, but I am still closing my garage door!

Favorite Verse

As a mom, Luke 2:19 has been a favorite verse of mine for many years: "But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart."

This verse comes at the end of Mary's Christmas.

Her Christmas was much more eventful than any of mine. But every Christmas I find myself pondering all that went on during the days leading up to and including Christmas and that has proven to be the best time of Christmas for me.

"Ponder" means to "consider deeply, think deliberately...to ruminate".

So Christmas is over...what are you pondering?

There was one Christmas when my kids were really young that I tried a new tradition. I hadn't put alot of thought into it ahead of time and it flopped. Unfortunately, I had invited some friends to share my new-found tradition and I was embarassed that my lack of planning made the whole experience a waste of time. I pondered that in the days that followed. It helped me sort out what could have worked, why I wanted to do it in the first place and whether it was something I should pursue in the years ahead.

I know that what Mary pondered were thoughts that were much more eternal in nature. She pondered that fact that her baby was born to change the world.

But as a mom building my home, I have found that treasuring and pondering all that goes on in my home also has eternal value. It is when I don't ponder what I am doing or what I have done that I lose sight of my purpose as a mom.

Now that my family has grown, my pondering consists of feasting on the memories. I treasure up all that has gone on in the previous years to make my family what it is today. I realize that I need to ponder how to celebrate Christmas now as grandchildren become center stage.

Take some time this week to highlight Luke 2:19 in your Bible. Write 'MOM' beside it. Treasure and Ponder just what took place this Christmas in your family and in your heart.

What God Wants for Christmas

I thought I would share the last poem in a scavenger hunt game we play every Christmas Eve day. I found this game What God wants for Christmas a few years ago at my Wal-Mart, and it has quickly become a family favorite. It is by Family Life and can be found at www.familylife.com. We choose to make a scavenger hunt out of the boxes and the girls use clues to find the pieces of the nativity scene we have hidden through out the house. It leads up to the last box, which contains a small mirror so that when the child looks inside she sees her reflection and realizes that God wants her for Christmas. Here is the poem we read after they find the final box:

What God wants for Christmas? Now here’s the surprise

In box number seven, where it’s been disguised

Peek in the box, for so long you have waited.

What God wants is you-the one He created!

“Me?” you ask. “Why is this so?”

“I cannot wrap me and put on a bow!”

No, you cannot; but what you can give

Are the choices you make in the life that you live.

God wants you to know Him and love Him within,

And this is called worship, an offering to Him.

To do this, trust Jesus, who died in your place

When you didn’t deserve Him-that is called grace.

Pray now and offer your life and your heart.

Say, “Jesus, I need You. I’d like a new start.”

Forgive me today for the sins I’ve committed

So one day in heaven I will be permitted.”

When you pray this decision, the heavens rejoice

That you have made worship of God your life’s choice.

God wants you to know Him, so choose every day,

To love God and thank God and give Him all praise!

So as you spend your Christmas Eve and Christmas day with those you love this year, remember the real reason behind this season-Jesus came to earth for you! Celebrate the most wonderful gift that was ever given.

Merry Christmas to you and your family!

Delaying and deleting Christmas?

I am not a perfectionist by any means. But of course there are certain things I like to do for Christmas just like everyone else.

Bake. Shop. Christmas Cards. Decorate. Wrap presents.

These tasks have all been deleted or delayed this year as my time has been spent caring for my two little ones.I don't think anyone really cares...except me. My kids certainly aren't aware of the tasks mom hasn't completed. My husband definitely doesn't care.

But for some reason, I find myself trying to maintain the same standards and expectations that I do every Christmas. However, I've never faced a Christmas season with a 14 month old and a 3 month old.

It's so easy these days to view my kids as obstacles to me getting the things done that I need to do:
Hard to shop with snowy roads, cold weather and two little ones.

Hard to bake with two kids that need my time and attention.

Hard to find the time and energy to decorate (and then spend the entire day telling my son "no, don't touch that!).

It's hard to do what I've always done.

And so I'm not. I'm not doing it all.

And I'm learning to be ok with that.

Well mostly ok. I'm still working through some guilt and letting go of some expectations. But I realize no one in my home cares about decorations or gifts or cards or baking. They just want my time and attention and love.

And no one can give them the gift of their mother's time, attention and love but me! 

LOVE...at Christmas

If I decorate my house perfectly with lovely plaid bows, strands of twinkling lights, and shiny glass balls, but do not show love to my family, I'm just another decorator.

If I slave away in the kitchen, baking dozens of Christmas cookies, preparing gourmet meals, and arranging a beautifully adorned table at mealtime, but do not show love to my family, I'm just another cook.

If I work at the soup kitchen, carol in the nursing home, and give all that I have to charity, but do not show love to my family, it profits me nothing.

If I trim the spruce with shimmering angels and crocheted snowflakes, attend a myriad of holiday parties, and sing in the choir's cantata but do not focus on Christ, I have missed the point.

Love stops the cooking to hug the child.

Love sets aside the decorating to kiss the husband.

Love is kind, though harried and tired.

Love doesn't envy another home that has coordinated Christmas china and table linens.

Love doesn't yell at the kids to get out of your way.

Love doesn't give only to those who are able to give in return, but rejoices in giving to those who can't.

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things.

Love never fails. Video games will break; pearl necklaces will be lost; golf clubs will rust.

But giving the gift of love will endure.

I Corinthians 13 Style by Sharon Jaynes

Pretzel Buttons

My favorite Christmas treat includes:
Pretzels
Rolos
M&Ms

Place pretzels on cookie sheet and place a Rolo on each pretzel. Bake in oven at 250 for 3-4 minutes until center of Rolo is soft. Remove from oven, press M&M in the center and place somewhere to cool and harden. Enjoy!

Chocolate Chess Pie

We had a Christmas Card addressing party last night and I was in charge of bringing dessert. I made one of my favorite pies from a restaurant I used to go to in North Carolina. It is one of our family favorites!

Chocolate Chess Pie

1 frozen pie shell
1 stick of butter
2 oz. semi-sweet Ghiradelli chocolate bar
1 cup sugar
2 eggs well beaten
1 tsp. vanilla
dash salt

Melt butter and chocolate together on low. Take off heat and add sugar, eggs, vanilla, and salt. (Add these slowly while mixing to make sure the eggs don't scramble.) Pour into pie shell. Bake at 350 degrees for 35 minutes. Serve with Redi-whip.

Enjoy!

A family favorite

I am going to share a recipe that Barb shared with me years ago (I am hoping she has not shared it on the blog before, but if she has it is worth repeating)! It has become a family favorite at our house. I will just warn you that if you make this it will not last long. . .it is so very yummy!

Frosty’s Favorite:

3c. corn chex

3c. rice chex

2c. cheerios

2c. stick pretzels

2c. dry-roasted peanuts

12 oz. MM's (I like Reeses Pieces better)

16 oz. almond bark

Mix everything but the almond bark in a large bowl. Melt the almond bark in microwave according to direction on pkg. Pour over cereal mixture, stirring gently until mixture is well coated. Spread mixture on waxed paper-lined baking sheet and refrigerate (I just let it cool on the counter). When cool, break into pieces. Store in air-tight container in frig. (it's usually gone before I need to store it!).

I have motified the recipe slightly because I could not find some of the ingredients in the right amounts and I am not one to use 3 squares of left-over almond bark. So everything is the same except the following:

5 cups cheerios

6 cups pretzel sticks

1 lb bag of Reese Pieces

24 oz almond bark (I think the Plymouth Pantry brand is the best-I find mine at Walmart)

Enjoy!

Cookies and Customs

I started a Santa Lucia tradition with our kids when our first 2 were 3 and 5 years old. Part of this tradition included learning about the folklore and meaning of all the decorations that we surround ourselves with during the holiday. I decided to add one tradition each year and tried to tie it into a cookie. I was young and zealous when I rolled out this plan:) That was 28 years ago, you can figure the number of cookies I have baked since then!

I will share just a few examples of favorite cookies and the lesson that went along with them:

One years we learned about wreaths:
Wreaths were first used about 2000 years ago by the Greeks. They crowned champions with wreaths.
Christ was mocked with a crown of thorns
The Christmas wreath symbolizes His eternal love; it never ceases, stops, or ends. It is one continuous round of affection.

That year we made these cookies...Cornflake Wreaths:
1/2 cup butter
30 marshmallows
1/4 teas green coloring
1/2 teas vanilla
1/4 teas salt
3 1/2 cup corn flakes

Melt the butter and marshmallows in double boiler. Add green coloring, vanilla, salt and corn flakes. Blend thoroughly. While still warm, drop on aluminum foil and mold into wreaths with fingers. Decorate with cinnamon candy and silve bagets.

One year we made Gingerbread cookies and talked about how they became so popular at Christmas time:
This was one of the first cookies made in the U. S. by early settlers...a recipe from Europe.

Gingerbread People:

• 1 cup margarine
• 1 cup sugar
• 1 cup molasses
• 1 T vinegar
• 2 slightly beaten eggs
• 5 1/2 cups flour
• 1 tsp cinnamon
• 1 tsp ginger
• 1 tsp soda
• 1/2 tsp salt

Combine margarine, sugar, molasses and vinegar in saucepan. Bring slowly to a boil. Remove from heat, cool to room temperature. Add eggs to cooled mixture. Mix flour, cinnamon, ginger, soda, and salt. Stir into molasses mixture until dough is smooth and satiny.

Chill for at least 2 hrs. Let stand at room temp until pliable to roll. Roll out and cut with small 'people cutters'. Bake 375 for 7-10 mins.

I could go on, but in yesterday's post I said my kids' favorite cookie was the wheat thin/peanut butter sandwich dipped in chocolate. We named that cookie the 'magical cookie' because it magically disappeared from the tray so fast. We learned about Christmas Cards that year:
The first card was sent in 1843 by the King of England!

What we learned was short and easy to remember year after year. As more cookies were added to the tray, more lessons were learned and the whole beauty of Christmas and the decorations came alive to all of us.

Sugar Plums?!

Remember that line from "The Night Before Christmas?":

"While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads"

Did you know that sugar plums are candy that are made of sugar and shaped in a small round or oval shape. So what kind of sugar plums are dancing in your head this Christmas?

I have a whole notebook that I keep nothing but Christmas recipes in and all these recipes 'dance' in my head as I take the notebook out the day after Thanksgiving. Several of the recipes have been passed on to me from a generation or two ago! They are probably my favorite because I can imagine them being served to my relatives even before I was born.

I have baked hundreds of cookies in Christmases past, but these are my kids' favorite:

Wheat Thins
Chunkie Peanut Butter
Chocolate Bark

Spread wheat thins with peanut butter. Press another cracker on top, making a sandwich. Dip into melted chocolate bark. Tap off excess chocolate and let the cookie/candy harden on a sheet of wax paper.

Who knew? Really, their favorite?

Somehow this recipe doesn't seem like the kind of recipe I thought my kids would have 'dancing in their heads' after all the intricate cookies I have baked. Yet these cookies are the cookies that are most requested at my house.

Ask your clan what they like best and share a recipe or two with us this week.

Just Starting Out

I was married for three years before having children and when it came to gift giving at the holiday season...we basically just did whatever our families were doing. My family picks names and then also buys for the grandchildren. My husband is an only child so we buy gifts for both of his parents. This year we have some decisions to be made about gifts. We want to start some of our own family traditions that our girls will be able to look forward to.

The largest decision we are making right now is whether or not to include Santa Claus in our family tradition. I came from a family that did not celebrate Santa and my husband did. We both want our kids to see the real reason for Christmas is Jesus, but I also appreciate the innocence and excitement believing in Santa brings.

I would love to say we have this figured out, but we don't. Here we are only weeks away from Christmas and still without a plan. Any suggestions or ideas would be helpful. Do you include Santa in your celebrations?

Gift-giving in our family

One quick follow-up from yesterday’s post. I should have clarified one thing. I do love the snow. I love a white Christmas. I love looking out at the snow from my warm home. I don’t even mind driving in it, but I do not like to “play” in the snow. Skiing terrifies me, sledding is a close second and I hate cold, wet snow going in my boots or up my sleeves. I think that is why I felt the need to post what I did yesterday. I truly felt like I put myself in my girls’ shoes. They wanted to “play” in the snow, and I set aside how I felt about it to enjoy a moment with them. I think that is what being intentional is all about. I had so much fun because my daughters were having fun. I also wanted to share because I think I needed the reminder to live in the moment-to not be preoccupied with my to-do lists. I want more days like yesterday!

Onto my thoughts on gift-giving. . .

I think I referenced this in an earlier blog post, but early on in our marriage we decided to not go overboard for any holiday or birthday as far as gifts go. This was a harder transition for my husband than myself mainly because he grew up in a family that bought nothing throughout the year but on Christmas they went all-out. We decided we wanted to be a family that gave things throughout the year. We wanted to spend the time and money doing things as a family like going out to eat, to the movies and buying things when we wanted them (and had the money for them). We have carried this philosophy over to when we had children. We do ask the girls what they would like and go off of their lists (we sit down and talk about what they would like to put on their lists so I try to do some directing). Sometimes we are like Barb and choose to buy another gift they haven’t asked for because we think they will just love it (like this year I found a small “real” sewing machine for my 8-year-old daughter on sale. She loves to sew with me and I think she will love this gift, but it was not asked for). We also decided to purchase one larger gift and then round it out with a few smaller gifts. We try to buy the same number of presents for each girl as well. We do end up buying a lot of the same gifts for each girl since they really love playing the same things and we have found they love opening the same gifts. That really makes it easy for us. I also try to purchase small gifts throughout the year that I think they will like for their stockings. I have stopped buying their bigger gifts throughout the year since at their ages they change their minds so much, but finding small things for their stockings are easy. I also purchase a pair of new jammies that they wear on Christmas Eve when we open a gift for the family, a puzzle or a new game and then we spend time playing or doing the activity as a family. I guess my basic philosophy is I want my children to experience the joy of giving and getting gifts, but I do not want it to be the main focus of our celebrations. I love the time we spend after opening presents eating breakfast and playing as a family.

deviating from gift giving for a day. . .

Well, Christmas has arrived in Minnesota (My apologies to those that may be reading in a warmer state)! I spent most of my morning outside with my 3-year-old daughter making snow angels and attempting to shovel the blowing snow since our snow blower died. I know I will not be popular when I say this, but I love the snow! I really can’t imagine living in any other state, especially during the holidays. Don’t get me wrong, I am not a huge fan of bundling up the kids day in and day out, but the look on their faces when they got up this morning is worth it all. Imagine, for a moment, being a child again. What would you feel like if you woke up with all this fresh white stuff to run in, taste on your tongue or slide down? As adults our worlds get so busy with all of our to-dos that we can miss the unbelievable beauty that God has created-the snow! I know I was supposed to talk about gift-giving today, but I am going to let that wait until tomorrow. . .for today-I challenge you to go be a kid again with your children. Push back all those thoughts and reasons why you shouldn’t go outside and jump in. Call your kids, bundle up and have fun! May you enjoy this beautiful winter day that the Lord has made-we will rejoice and be glad in it!

Gifts to Give

I've shared before that in our family we used to give 5 gifts to our kids at Christmas.

A gift to hug and love (doll, stuffed animal)

A gift to read

A gift to play with

A gift to encourage an activity (sledding, skating, sports)

A gift of artistic expression (crayons, clay, glue and paper)

This worked great in the developmental years of the children. It gave me insight as to what my kids really were attracted to. It helped them develop an interest in areas they may not have had an interest in.

As they got older, they began to express what they wanted. My husband and I would have lengthy discussions as to whether we would buy them what they wanted or what we felt they would like and need. That was tricky as they got older. We finally settled on giving gifts that were worthy of giving.

Sometimes it was what they wanted.

Sometimes it was what they needed.

Sometimes it was what we thought would be valuable to them once they received it. We would introduce them to a new sport or hobby and it often became their favorite gift.

Christmas was spread out over the year for me as I evaluated what my kids were attracted to and what I felt they could use more exposure to. It was a time to connect with their desires and focus on their strengths and weaknesses.

18 days before Christmas isn't the time to delve into what your kids might benefit from this Christmas, but it is a time to commit to this idea. Decide that next year you will know your child well enough to choose a gift of value for them. A gift worthy of giving.

It will put Christmas into the right perspective for you and your family. God's gift to us that first Christmas was just what we needed.

Gift Giving

Did you know there is an art to gift giving? I heard a woman talk about it once and all the dos and don'ts of gift giving made me tired.

It got me thinking, however. Why do we give? Maybe that is the only question we need to be mindful of this season.

Are we giving to reciprocate a gift?
Are we giving because we've given to that person every year?
Do we give gifts of equal value not thinking about the intrinsic value in the actually giving of the gift?
When you give gifts to your kids...do you give the same number of gifts to each child?

Lots of different ways to look at giving and hopefully we can share this week ways that we give in our families.

I think the most valuable gift to give is yourself. Either in service or words or time. The person receiving the gift knows that the giver is really giving something priceless...themselves!

When my kids were young, I had them give small presents or at least a card of thanks to their teachers, sunday school teachers, piano or trumpet teacher, babysitters and anyone else in their lives who gave of themselves. Whether that person was paid or not wasn't the issue, the point I wanted to make with my kids was that these people were in their lives and gave all year long. Christmas was a good time to give back with a word or small gift of thanks.

As a former teacher, I learned that giving consumable gifts were always appreciated. A small set of cards with postage stamps, packets of cocoa or tea & a mug, or a small edible we would make along with the recipe. Avon and fragrances were usually over-done as a gift and I tried to avoid that. Don't focus on the gift as much as WHY you are teaching your kids to give.

Getting your kids involved in giving gifts at a young age will help balance the insatiable desire to GET gifts. They will see the thought that goes into selecting a gift. They will know why they are giving and will understand the work or money that goes into gift-giving. As they get older they will appreciate receiving gifts even more and will be able to express their thanks in a genuine way.

As you head to the mall this week, be mindful of WHY you are buying for the people on your list and count your blessings that they are in your life in 2009!

Busy with a family tradition. . .

sorry for the late post, but today we were busy with another family tradition of ours-baking Christmas cookies. Is this not the cutest Christmas cookie ever! (okay so I am slightly biased!)

If you did not know before, Barb is my aunt, my mom’s sister, and Stacy is married to her son Ryan. Aren’t I lucky?! Every year we have gotten together to bake Christmas cookies. Every year it changes a bit and this year was no exception. With Stacy and her two children under 2 years and Rachel and Jonathan along with my two girls it changes the product at the end, but increases the fun during. My mom and I were the only ones to actually bake cookies today, but memories were made none-the-less. With three little ones added to the mix, compromises must be part of the package. They all did great. We barricaded off the tree and brought out some new toys and the boys had a great time. As you can see by the photos below it is hard to get a good photo of everyone, but I think you can tell that we were having a good time and shouldn't that be the reason we have these family traditions? If you can’t read the sign it says, “Life’s Short. . . Eat Cookies!” Pretty good motto huh?

(back row: Stacy holding her son Samuel, my mom holding Stacy daughter Lauren, me, Rachel (Barb's daughter) and Barb holding Rachel's son Jonathan

front row: my daughters Maddie and Abigail)

We hope you and your family will have many of these special moments together this Christmas season-thanks ladies for a great day!

Dice game

One tradition my family has enjoyed for years is the dice game. Some people play this and they bring white elephant gifts to exchange. My family actually uses nice, enjoyable gifts.

Here's how it works:

Everyone buys 3-5 $5 gifts. Gifts for guys, girls or either. You wrap them and place them in a pile in the center of the room. Everyone sits in a circle around the gifts. Then, depending on the number of people, you have one or two containers of dice going around the circle. Everyone rolls the dice and every time someone gets a double they grab a gift but don't open it. Once all the gifts are divided between people (not necessarily evenly), you open the gifts. Then the fun begins. You roll the dice again and when you get doubles you get to steal a gift that you want and exchange one that you don't. So all the gifts exchange hands numerous times. It's a blast and so fun to see what items everyone purchased. We usually set a time limit for how long the dice can go around the circle for.

I enjoy gift giving and this is a unique way to have fun together as a family, laugh and share in a little competition. It might not work well with smaller kids, but with adult kids and relatives, it will lead to great memories!

Christmas Traditions

Wow, I love Betsy's tradition she wrote about yesterday. What a way to get everything done that you want to accomplish during this very busy month of December.

I've shared my traditions on this blog before so perhaps this is a good time to share what I learned about traditions...

I had to learn the hard way that 'More is not Better' when it comes to Christmas. I piled on the traditions and fun when my kids were little and soon found myself...and them drowning in too much.

Too much food

Too much running and shopping

Too much activity and stimulation

Too much fuss...and mess

Too much


It all led to too little

...money

...time

...family fun

...patience

...appreciation


Being intentional in planning the month of December is a way to avoid 'too much'. Whether you are intentional or not, you will be exhausted on Christmas morning. But if your December has been planned out even just alittle, your exhaustion will soon be replaced with satisfaction as you see Christmas turn into a special remembrance.

As you build tradition into your family, don't be afraid to challenge yourself as to why you are doing an activity. Don't be afraid to change up or cancel something if it is just too much or it is not accomplishing what you had hoped to accomplish.

Sometimes a wonderful memory is made when you carve out time just to hang out with your family and enjoy an evening of quiet.

I love Christmas. I love tradition. I love being intentional in what I choose to do with my family life. I love that I know that 'More is not Better'.