Living Intentionally. . .

Barb asked in Monday’s post as well as at our homemakers meeting. . . what does Living Intentionally mean when it comes to our life as a Jesus Follower? What does that look like in your life...or should look like, what would you say?

The typical Christian answer might be:

Someone who reads her bible daily

Someone who prays throughout the day

Someone who goes to church both Wednesday and Sunday

Someone who volunteers at church. . .

Does that sound familiar? While all these things are good things to be doing. . .I think we often get caught up in the doing and miss what living intentionally as a follower of Jesus really is. It may seem a little like semantics, but hang with me for a minute. One of my husband’s and my favorite passages is Eph 5:18-20 which states something very subtle, but very important. . .

Instead, let the Holy Spirit fill and control you. Then you will sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs among yourselves, making music to the Lord in your hearts. And you will always give thanks for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.(NLT)

Did you catch that? Be filled with the Holy Spirit, THEN YOU WILL. . .These verses tell us we need to be filled with the Holy Spirit and out of our relationship with Jesus, our lives will be different than that of the world’s. Only when we have a living, breathing relationship with the Lord can the world see Jesus through us. The list of things above are ways of nurturing our relationship, but like I stated before, they often become our religion. Shouldn’t our lives be a witness to those around us? Shouldn’t the choices we make reflect God’s will? But should this be us “trying” to reach those goals or just the outpouring of our relationship with Jesus and His love flowing through us? Our lives as followers of Christ should be different than this world, but they are not different because of anything we do. They are different because we choose to pursue a relationship with God and His love, His patience, His compassion flow through us.

Even as I write this I find myself feeling like I have such a long way to go, but it is also encouraging that I do not have to do anything on my own. If I want a life that shows others the love of God, then I need to be connected to the Giver of love. My life should not be about all the do's and don’ts but about a relationship with the One true God who makes my life better because He is living through me.

My husband and I lead a small group in our home for young married couples. They have all had their first babies this year so we are reading the book When Husband and Wife Become Mom and Dad by Elisa Morgan and Carol Kuykendall. I would like to share a short passage from this book that may help explain it a little more.

Lasting hope is not found in a new baby, in the oohs and aaahhs of affirmation from each other, or in the perfect family vacation, new furniture, or a new car. Lasting hope is ultimately found in something beyond ourselves and our circumstances. . .when you look down at your child, do you feel the heavy weight of responsibility now attached to you. . . look over at your spouse, this mate of your choice, attached to you by marriage. Years ago, you stood at an altar and pledged your love and commitment-till death. But he is tired and falls asleep before you have time to process your needs with him. She is distracted by children and doesn’t seem interested in you anymore. . .Where is hope?

You’ve been looking down and over. The truth is, you’re looking in the wrong place.

Look up. Rather than resting in two individuals, attached horizontally through a civil ceremony with out eternal meaning, hope for marriage comes when the attachment is to a Source beyond either individual. Hope for marriage-and for every individual-comes when we attach ourselves to a permanent, eternal source of stability and love. It comes in a relationship with God through his Son, Jesus.

We need to be looking to God to meet our needs so we can meet the needs of others through His strength, not our own.

Living Intentionally

Living Intentionally as a Jesus Follower...what does that look like for you?

Going to church?
Reading your Bible?
Memorizing verses?

....and more

How's that working for you?

So often we women are so eager to get in and DO things, we put the cart before the horse. Living Intentionally as a Jesus Follower can often mess up HIS plan for us.

The life of a Jesus Follower is all about relationships.

A relationship with God
A relationship with one another
A relationship with the world

Jesus wants a relationship with Him and we get busy DOING things FOR Him and we think that we are intentionally building systems that will ultimately please Him.

We see temporary success...Until we fail. Until we get distracted. Until we don't see results.

Then we get disappointed in ourselves.

And we begin a new system. Or we try harder. Or we take a break to get a new perspective.

Living Intentionally as a Jesus Follower can be a life all about ME, I have discovered. It is rooted in PRIDE, thinking I can/will please God by obeying Him, and I get busy intentionally doing something to show my commitment to Jesus.

Trouble is, I fail.

And the cycle continues:
I want to obey God's commandments
I see temporary success
I fail
I get disappointed


I try again

See the I in this cycle? As In PrIde?

If I am to Live Intentionally as a Jesus Follower, I need to see that the I is all about 'intimacy' with God. Not me doing something for Him, but me getting to Know Him.


As a wife, I want to know my husband. I want to talk with him, sit by him, hang out with him, learn to play golf so I can understand the passion he has for that game....intimacy comes out of my love for him. I don't obey him to achieve the goal of loving him.


Living in intimacy with God is the goal of my life as a Jesus Follower. That all begins with humility. It is about Him revealing Himself to me rather than me trying harder to prove myself as a Jesus Follower.

Living Intentionally

Living Intentionally has been a big focus for us in Homemakers with Hope this year. It's a good time to review our 'systems' for food preparation, maintaining our homes, organizing our kids and taking care of our own bodies+++

But what does Living Intentionally mean when it comes to our life as a Jesus Follower?

If I asked you what does that look like in your life...or should look like, what would you say?

Write down your answer...or share it here with us

This past month in Homemakers we were to identify the different roles that we assume daily. We were to identify what stresses us out in each role and what supports us in each role.

All the Homemakers with Hope are followers of Jesus, so we will be talking about that role as well tonight as we meet. We will be sharing our thoughts this week but in the meantime, ponder...

What does the role of a faithful follower of Jesus Christ look like?

Then join us the rest of the week as we share what we are learning.

A knock knock favorite

My husband's favorite joke goes as follows:

Knock knock

Who's there?

Panther

Panther who?

My panther falling down.

I can't wait until Samuel starts telling that joke someday!

a few 8-year-old jokes. . .

Well, I have never been very good at telling jokes. I always seem to forget the punch line. So I recruited my 8-year-old daughter to help me with this post. Here is Abigail as she is writing her jokes:

knock-knock.

Who's there?

Abby.

Abby who?

Abby-birthday!

______________________________________________________________________

Do you know how geometry got its name?

Once there was an acorn. He grew and grew. One day it said, "gee-i'm-a-tree!"

______________________________________________________________________

Do you know how politics got its name?

My parrot swallowed a watch. So now polly-ticks!

HHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAA! I hope you enjoyed my jokes!

Abigail

JOKES!

Why did the blonde stare at the OJ?

"It said to concentrate!"

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A blonde went to the doctor's with 2 flaming red ears...the doctor asked her what happen
She said she was ironing with a steam iron and the phone rang. In a rush, she picked up the iron and 'answered it'.
The doctor said "I see, but why 2 red ears?"
The blond said, 'the jerk called back."

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A guy goes on vacation to the Holy Land with his wife and mother-in-law. Halfway through their trip, the mother-in-law dies. So the guy goes to an undertaker, who explains that they can ship the body home, but it'll cost $5,000. Or they can bury her in the Holy Land for $150.
"We'll ship her home," says the son-in-law.
"Are you sure?" asks the undertaker. "That's an awfully big expense. And I can assure you we do a very nice bural here."
"Look," says the son-in-law, "two thousand years ago they buried a guy here, and three days later he rose from the dead. I just can't take that chance."

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Lighten Up!

Happy March 1st. If you are getting your taxes ready, wishing your resolutions were coming together and impatient for spring...

this week is for you...our favorite jokes:

A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said: "If you don't do the following, your husband will surely die:

1. Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast.
2. Be pleasant and make sure he is in a good mood.
3. For lunch, make him a nutritious meal.
4. For dinner, prepare him an especially nice meal.
5. Don't burden him with chores as he probably had a hard day.
6. Don't discuss your problems with him.
7. And most importantly, have sex with him several times a week and satisfy his every whim."

On the way home, the husband asked his wife what the doctor said to her,

"You're going to die" she replied.

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A Blonde's Diet:

A blonde is terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on a diet. "I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you , you'll have lost at least 5 pounds."

When the blonde returned, she shocked the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds.

"Why, that's amazing!" the doctor said, "Did you follow my instructions?"

The blonde nodded, "I'll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day."

"From hunger, you mean?" asked the doctor.

"No, from skipping"

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Finally! After 25 years on a deserted island, Joe was being rescued. As he climbed onto the boat, the curious crew noticed 3 small grass huts.

"What are those?" they asked.

"The first one is my home," Joe said, "The second is my church."

"What about the third hut?" the rescuers wanted to know.

"Oh," says Joe, "that's the church I used to belong to."

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Gotta Joke? Please share it. We can all use a good laugh!

'An Awesome, Sacred Responsibility'

My husband & I were not raised in Christian homes, so we started all of our faith traditions from scratch--or from borrowing other people’s ideas! We hope some ‘winners’ will stay in our kids’ hearts and become part of our family legacy over time. Here is how we got started on this awesome, sacred responsibility.

We decided early on we wanted our faith to be ‘caught’ as well as ‘taught’. Through listening to worship music together and reading some wonderful Christian children’s books together (in addition to finding a good church home & praying together), we hoped our kids would ‘catch’ our joy as Christ followers, our values and beliefs. We wanted them to see us living out our faith Monday through Saturday, too!

But of course that in & of itself wouldn’t be enough, we also wanted to follow the instructions in Deuteronomy 6:6-9, so we made time for evening devotional time together on a nightly basis from the time our children were very young.

On special occasions (Easter, Christmas, birthdays), we selected age-appropriate bibles or devotionals and wrote a few words of encouragement inside along with the date. These have become treasures over the years! We also picked up some great CDs by Steve Green called “Hide ‘em In Your Heart”…a super tool for scripture memorization!

My kids were early readers and many a night little Ryan would read his beginner Bible and ask me questions. To be honest, there were times I was learning right alongside him! :) Sophie picked right up on the enthusiasm for family devotional time.

My husband suspects the kids were sometimes motivated by delaying bedtime (I have been known to allow extra reading time—if it’s reading the Bible or a devotional!), but we all treasure these special memories and I know many seeds were sown in our children’s hearts this way. I wish I’d been like Betsy and celebrated my kids’ spiritual birthdays! What a beautiful idea. For us, knowing that our children have a relationship with Jesus their Savior is a gift like no other. (Finding ways to keep that precious relationship a protected, nurtured and growing priority is the stage of parenting I’m in today. But that’s a story for another time.)

I hope I can encourage you that you are equipped to talk to your kids about God. You were chosen for this job! You are a missionary in your own home. You don’t need to have it all figured out or worry about having all the answers! Just get started—the sooner the better! Be authentic and real, no matter where you are on your faith journey. If you don’t know the answer try saying, “That’s a great question! Let’s be sure to find out…together.”

(This posting is continued from yesterday 2/25/10, written by Katy!)

Pssst...Pass It On

"Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates."
Deuteronomy 6:5-9


Hi, my name is Katy and I’m a Homemaker with Hope! Fan of these women & this website, I love the challenge & inspiration to become more intentional and faithful in all areas of life. Lately the above verse from Deuteronomy has been on my mind and heart.

I want to make my home a sacred, special space for my family, a shelter from the world beyond our walls, a warm & welcoming safe haven. My goal/dream is to have our household running in such a smooth & well-organized fashion that we consistently have more time to do the rest of life—fellowship, worship, be outside, volunteer, explore, learn new things, extend hospitality, lend a hand—without getting bogged down by the “tyranny of the urgent”. (While I’m sharing my dreams, pristine cleanliness 24/7 would be lovely, too!)

“Home is where your story begins.” I love that quote.

I’ve been married for 16 years now, and a mom for nearly 13. I have spent those years trying to build my home, like the wise woman in Proverbs. But looking back, I know there were times when my homemaking priorities were not exactly in line with God’s priorities. I was sometimes (OK, often) a “Martha” when I should have been a “Mary”. I’m going to admit something here: More than once it took sheer force of will not to organize toys & tidy things up when I sat down to play with my toddler & preschooler (who didn’t seem to inherit my delight in order). There just always seemed to be something needing to be done. The busyness of life is a sneaky time thief without constant vigilance against it!

Although I can’t get those Martha Minutes back, by God’s grace He opened my eyes to the other important work He had planned for me. We each have the same 24 hours in a day, the difference is in how we spend them. I want to share tomorrow about some of my time that I am certain was well-spent…time I spent talking to my children about God.

(This posting is by a guest blogger, Katy. A teacher, a former MOPS coordinator and a mother of 2, she has lots of experience and wisdom....Thanks, Katy!)

a few more ideas. . .

As I stated yesterday, my journey has only begun. I think in many ways it is difficult to grow up in a Christian home where the things of this world are not encouraged. There is a fine balance between sheltering and preparing our children for the real world. This is the journey we have now started with our girls. We want to give them the practical tools they will need to sustain their relationships with the Lord. Since Maddie’s decision last week, we have decided to change how we do a few things to be more intentional about what we are teaching. We have added a family time right before bed the last few nights and the girls have loved it. We do not have a huge plan other than a time to talk with the girls about their relationship with the Lord and what tools we can help them learn. Some nights we read from a children’s devotional, other nights we sing praises while daddy plays the guitar, other nights we review their bible verses for AWANA. We end our time by each praying for one thing for ourselves or each other. All in all it lasts about 15 minutes. Some nights it doesn’t work to have us all there, but that is our goal. If truth be told, it is really hard sometimes after a long day to be intentional with this time, but both Jeff and I think as parents this is our job. It is our job to be involved and active in their spiritual development. We have decided to be open to however this bedtime family time looks like. We do not want to get caught up in what we do as much as we want to be caught up in doing what is right for our girls. Does that make sense?

As Barb stated early this week, teaching our children about Jesus starts with our own relationship with Jesus. Are we tapping into the vine so that He can speak through us to meet the needs of our girls? If I am working on my relationship with Jesus, the easier it is to put the time into meeting the girls’ needs. I won’t sugar coat it-it is hard work. We send our girls to church and AWANA and they learn a lot of great things there, but it is still our responsibility on a daily basis to be teaching and modeling good choices. Barb is right-our kids are watching us. They see what we do with our time. They see what we watch, what we read, what we eat, what we say while we are on the phone. . .they are learning not only by what we teach them, but even more by our actions. And I know that if left to myself, my actions would not produce the outcome I want for my girls. I need to be plugged into Jesus so that His strength comes out of me. I need to check my priorities with His so that I know I will have the energy to deal with the task of raising godly children. My goal as my girls’ mother is to give them the best possible start in life so that they have a greater chance of choosing God when they are older. I want to look back one day with no regrets. There are no guarantees in parenting. God gave my girls free-will just like the rest of us, and I am positive that Satan will know just how to tempt them one day. My goal is to do my part then leave them in the hands of Jesus and pray that they will make their own good choices. It is so comforting to know that God wants what is best for my girls even more than I do. They are His daughters on loan to me. I can only pray that God gives me what I need to help raise them to glorify Him.

I'd love to hear how you are teaching your children about Jesus. . .please share your thoughts in the comment section. Have a great Wednesday!

celebrating your kid's Christian birthdays

My husband and I have been praying for our girls’ salvation since before we had children. It has been my main goal as a mother since we actually had kids. Abigail, my 8 year old, became a Christian on May 31, 2005 and last week my 4 year old asked Jesus into her heart right before bed on February 14. Needless to say these two events made my heart more than happy. This is what I have wanted, my girls accepting Jesus as their personal Savior. Even though these two moments were incredibly special and memorable, I soon realized that while helping my girls realize they needed Jesus as their Savior is only half the battle. And if truth be told, this was the easy part, and it wasn’t that easy. As a mother of two young believers it is now my responsibility to help them learn how to grow in their walks with the Lord, even at this early age.

I am a product of a Christian home, and while I feel so fortunate to have been brought up in an environment like that, the one thing I really struggled with was I had no memory of asking Jesus into my heart. My mom told me the story of how my brother was teasing me that he had Jesus living in his heart and I didn’t. After spending time talking with me on the front steps, I became a Christian at the age of 4. While in high school I struggled with how do I really know. . .I decided that when our girls asked Jesus into their hearts, I would do everything within my power to help them have the memory for themselves. When Abigail asked Jesus into her heart it was over dinnertime. Since I knew I wanted to record it all, I quickly grabbed a pencil and paper and my camera. As soon as we were done talking with her and she prayed the prayer after her dad, Jeff and I frantically wrote down our conversation. I then proceeded to take photos of the moment. We read the book 3 in 1 and then asked her how she wanted to celebrate. In true Aba fashion-it was cupcakes and party hats. We also called the grandparents and allowed her to share her exciting news. In the next few days I put together a scrapbook for her. She can look at it anytime she wants, but every May 31^st, she finds it on the kitchen table along with a decorated table just for her. May 31^st is her Christian birthday and we celebrate it! Depending on what life brings it may not be an all-day celebration, but it is still a celebration. Each year we give her a small gift of something that will continue to help her grow in her walk with the Lord. We usually buy her an Adventures In Odyssey CD set. She loves to listen to Adventures in Odyssey and it is an awesome tool to help her learn more about Jesus. My main goal with these celebrations is to make a big deal about the most important decision my girls have made. I want them to remember their day. . .their decision. Each year I add a page or two to the scrapbook with journaling from the past year that shows evidence of her walk with the Lord. I am hopeful that one day she will take over updating her book, but until it can be more of her own, I am the one who has chosen to help her remember this moment. I encourage all of you, in your own way, help your children celebrate their Christian birthday. Here are a few photos of Abigail's celebration last year. . .

Jeff and I wrote evidence of her having Jesus living in her heart or choices she has made to further her walk with the Lord (i.e. carries her bible in her purse, takes notes at church) on paper hearts that I hung from her doorway.

Who is God, Mommy?

Are you prepared to answer this question when your child asks you?

If you have a personal relationship with God, chances are your kids will ask you sooner rather than later as he/she observes the way in which you live.

That's a good thing.

I've heard the Christian Way of Life described as, "a radical way of life, made possible in Christ, resulting in real, unshakable happiness."

If you are living this out, your kids may ask you why you are so happy rather than Who is God, but either way, you will need to be prepared to give an aswer.

While it is extremely important for a child to realize he/she needs to make a decision to become a Jesus follower by believing that God sent His son to die for our sins, it is also extremely important for a mom to be building her relationship with Christ all along the way. When your child does ask about God, it will be second nature to explain Who He is.

What you tell little ears about God won't be as important as what those little eyes and ears see in their home. If you are growing in an intimate relationship with God, it will be a natural overflow of your heart to share with your children. What captures our hearts will naturally spill out of us.

This relationship is an on-going relationship not just a one time decision. Yes, kids need to decide to become a follower of Jesus, but then they need to know that a relationship with Jesus is life-changing. It is something the two of you can discover and grow together in the years to come.

This week on the blog, young moms will share their real-life experiences with their kids and questions about God.

One dinner at a time

I'm going to add my two cents about family dinners...

First, Heidi I am so amazed at your determination to have family dinners even though your husband gets home after 6:00. I am not sure I would be as diligent as you if I was in your shoes. You inspire me!

Secondly, I too firmly believe in the value of eating together as a family. I always thought that when I had a family we would all eat dinner together. And this past week all four of us were in the dining room at the same time for dinner. I think that might be the first time since my 5-month-old was born!

It rarely happens that my husband and I eat at the same time as my 16-month old. He is very active and eats food at an incredibly fast pace. As quickly as I can cut the food he shoves it in his mouth. So right now I spend dinner cutting his food and give him "mo, mo, mo (more)." When he is done eating, then I usually dish up my food. I know that some day we'll all eat together at a much slower and leisurely pace...laughing, telling jokes and stories and learning about one another's days.

Sometimes I have to fight the guilt or expectation I put on myself that our dinners are not more enjoyable and less chaotic. But these are the days of "mo, mo, mo" and they won't last long. So instead of unrealistic expectations, I'm trying to take it one dinner at a time!

One Last Word About Family Dinnertime...

"If it were just about food, we would squirt it into their mouths with a tube," says Robin Fox, an anthropologist who teaches at Rutgers University in New Jersey, about the mysterious way that family dinner engraves our souls. "A meal is about civilizing children. It's about teaching them to be a member of their culture."

Late Dinners

I know what some of you may be thinking...my husband gets home way too late to have dinner as a family! Late dinners and small children seem like a recipe for disaster. However, I am finding that by rearranging my afternoon schedule, my daughter can wait for dinner.

My husband gets home between 6 and 6:15. By the time he changes we are usually beginning dinner around 6:20ish. Ideally, I would have dinner around 5:15. This used to be a really hot topic in our house. My husband couldn't get home earlier and I had a really crabby toddler on my hands. But family dinners are important to us! We both had them in our families growing up and decided this is too important for us to give up because he gets home a little later.

So, I feed lunch a little later and then give my daughter a snack around 4:30. Don't get me wrong! We still have a pretty crabby time between 5:45 and 6:15, but I have decided that eating together is worth it. Not to mention that teaching my kids patience isn't a bad lesson either. :)

Even if you husband gets home a little later, I would urge you to try to adjust the dinner hour. I am sure that this small time of discomfort will bring times of great encouragement as my children grow.

a book recommendation to go with yesterdays post

If any of you are interested in fun ways to decorate your tables, I would like to recommend the book Return to the Table by Dana Christine. My snow table photo came from her book. She has great ideas and really fun things to celebrate. She also uses a lot of things you already have around the house. Hope it will be helpful as you plan fun ways to bring your family back to the table!

Setting the Table

I apologize that this post is a day late. I was having trouble uploading the photos I wanted to include yesterday. . .

I agree with Barb whole-heartedly about mealtime and the importance it has in the development of the family. I am a product of a family that ate together. Isn’t it funny that sometimes we need studies to tell us what is productive for our families when if we would just stop and think we could have figured it out for ourselves-common sense really. If we spend time sitting down, eating as a family will we just not naturally talk about life issues? Isn’t it more difficult to hide having a bad day if you have to sit and talk with your family? Doesn’t it make more sense that sitting down eating, laughing and talking would improve your family’s relationships? This is what I want for my family.

I want my girls to have fond memories of our time around the table. I want to provide a place where they feel safe to talk and share their feelings. I want to provide an environment where they feel I have thought about them. That is why my girls will often wake up to a decorated table in the morning that will stay that way throughout the day.

I decided early on with young children that cooking was not my strength. I can cook, but I don’t like it. I make a few things well, but I do not like to try new things, but I do love to entertain. I love to decorate a table and make my guests feel like they are important and that I am glad they are in my home. I decided that this is how I want my girls to feel, so for holidays and just-because days I will decorate the breakfast table(I do not do this everyday). I love to see their faces light up when they drag their sleepy bodies down the stairs for breakfast to see the table decorated just for them. Sometimes I go all out and other times it is just simple little things that let them know I was thinking about them. An added bonus that I have noticed is when they invite someone for a playdate they want to help set the table to make their guest feel welcome and loved. (Abigail helped decorate the bags in the photo below).

I think a lot can be taught around the kitchen table. My hope is to share my love of entertaining with my girls in a way that will make them feel even more special than the guests that enter my home. My hope is that our kitchen table will always be a safe place where we come together as a family to reconnect. I don’t think it takes that much to make that happen. We just need to be intentional!

The Dinner Table

When I decided I wanted to establish dinnertime as a sacred time for my family, I had to be realistic and patience. 'Rome wasn't built in a day'...and neither was my family dinnertime!

The Table was what I focused on first. I wanted to surround my family with beauty and a sense of peace to set the tone for our dinner.

One of the best tricks I learned to encourage me along was to set my table in the morning. Most of the time I never knew what we would be eating, but just seeing the table set gave me HOPE! Dinner would appear and there would be a place to serve it.

I used colorful napkins. That gave me the energy I needed by 4:30-5:00 at night. I would stuff the napkins in the drinking glasses. As I passed the table throughout the day, I would be encouraged to take one step more towards having a family dinnertime.

When my kids were old enough to help, I drew placemats that indicated where the fork, spoon, knife, and glass were to go. All my kids learned to set the table...not just as a chore but because the family would gather around their efforts and be blessed.

Sometimes I hid questions under the plate to stimulate conversation. That carried over to when we had company with kids. It was a good ice breaker and kept the kids attentive as they interacted with the questions and gave their answers.

When I made a new recipe, the kids could only comment on it by filling out a 'report card'. That eliminated alot of complaining and moaning about the food. If they didn't like what was served, they could voice their 'opinion'. They would learn soon enough if others held their same opinion if I never made that meal again!

I have to confess, I never was a big fan of cooking. Mealtimes were a chore for me, but recognizing the value of dinner together helped me find ways to make it fun for me...and that carried over to the family.

Lighten up when you think of dinner tonight. Do something colorful and perhaps abit crazy to get your family's attention. Take baby steps to make your dinnertime unique and fun. It might take abit more time up front, but the benefits will soon pay off as your kids get older.

Did stuffing napkins into drinking glasses really convince my kids not to take up the habit of smoking? I like to think it did set the atmosphere for some lively discussions around The Table.

As the Homemaker of your home, accept this responsibility as an honor. Your job as chief cook and bottle washer will end, but your family will reap great blessings that will continue on long after they leave The Table.

The Table

For over 25 years I thought it was my unending words of wisdom and consistent discipline that taught my kids to refrain from smoking, drinking, illegal drugs and promiscuous behavior. Recent studies prove me wrong!

The National Addiction and Substance Abuse center says that it is Family Dinnertime that fosters these good habits in children.

Families that eat together make better choices.

Do you believe that?

16 month old Samuel was over for dinner this weekend. It was just the 3 of us so I pulled his high chair up to the table to test this concept. As my husband and I ate, he observed our food and our interaction while chowing down his portion. He didn't really care where we were in the process, he just shoved his food in until he was full.

Clearly, family dinners take time to establish a pattern, but just realizing their value is important.

Looking back at family dinners, I can see where simple lessons were taught as our kids sat around the table and we ate as a family. They learned at an early age to:
*sit in their seat
*wipe their hands
*ask for food with manners
*refrain from interrupting
*listen
*take turns to talk
*share...as they pass food to others

But where do they learn not to take drugs, drink and smoke?

Gayle Peterson, PHD says, "Consistently having dinner together as a family keeps us in touch, allowing us to trouble-shoot problems in daily living, as well as keeping us abreast of our family members' activities and life experience. It is in the family group that we develop an ability to discuss, to express our opinions, to be ourselves and allow others to be themselves."

Like every other good habit, it's the consistency that makes it work.

I think it's sad that the family dinner is perhaps a dying tradition or one that has to be recognized as being valuable. It used to be just a given.

Join us this week as we are going to look at the fun aspects of the family table and how to make your dinnertime memorable and effective.

What kind of wife am I?

I loved Barb's idea to take a fast from criticizing my husband for a week. For me, I think I might have to try to fast for just one day!

This is an area that I need great improvement on. With two little ones, little sleep, not enough energy or time in the day...there is much to be done around the home and somehow my husband never does it quite to my liking. 

He said to me the other night, "It's never good enough is it?" 

I have pondered that statement because that is NOT the kind of wife I want to be. I don't want to be a never-good-enough kinda wife. I am married to an imperfect man. 

And you know what? 

He's married to a very imperfect woman.

So I'm going to try and take Barb's challenge this Valentines weekend. I'll start with Saturday and see how I do. No criticizing. For one day. Not about how he cares for the kids, cleans the kitchen...nothing. 

I am grateful to have a husband to celebrate this Valentines with. And, I am grateful he loves me in spite of MY imperfections.

Oh how I love Valentine's Day! I have always loved this holiday. Even when I was single I loved it. However, this year feels a little less romantic to me. I have two babies. I absolutely love my babies but they have changed some things around here. I have spit up on every outfit I wear. Unfortunately, that spit-up usually smells. :) I no longer feel as confident about my post-baby body. My four month old HATES bottles and refuses it passionately. That leaves me with a three to four hour date window. To top it all off we are tired. Like really tired. Like so tired we both get jealous of our 20 month old's 8:00 bedtime.

Despite these circumstances, I know that I love my husband and I want him to know it without question. I think it is really easy to get so wrapped up in mommyhood that I forget that the best gift I can ever give my girls is to love their dad like crazy. The demands of parenting are great and it is easy for me to spend all of my energy on my kids and have my husband get the leftovers. This is not how healthy marriages are sustained. My husband and I are a team and we are in this together.

So, my challenge for us all is to celebrate Valentine's day more than once a year. Love your husband well. Speak kindly, respond to him graciously, and give your marriage priority.

Keeping your eyes half shut. . .

I am going to piggyback off of Barb’s post on Monday if that is okay-mainly because I think it is that important.

Before my husband and I got married we loved to read books on marriage, and one of the best pieces of advice we gleaned from one of those books was to “. . .keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half shut after marriage.” Think about that for a minute-let it soak in.

Think of the marriages you know, did those couples examine their marriage with both eyes wide open before they said, “I do?” Did they look with a critical eye asking themselves if those things that bothered or annoyed them were things they were willing to live with? Then once they were married do they now look at their spouse with eyes half shut? Not knit-picking apart those things that are unimportant?

I made a commitment to myself (and Jeff) early in our marriage that I was not going to talk about my husband, in a negative way, in front of others. Does my husband do things that annoy me? Sure. Do I do things that annoy him-you better believe it, but I make a conscience effort not to talk about those things with others. Not because I want others to think we have a marriage with no fights, but because I decided that I wanted to love Jeff enough to honor him by making him look good to others. I want us (just Jeff and I) to work on those things in our marriage that need to be worked on. I do not need a team of women backing my point-of-view when we get in a fight. If I do that, am I not just looking to be right? And shouldn’t a marriage be about working at it together and seeing each other in the best possible light (seeing your husband as God sees him)? I want to look at the positives that Jeff brings to my life and by not talking to other women about the stupid everyday annoyances it allows me to see him in a better light. I truly believe that what we spend our time focusing on is what we will see. For the sake of your marriage this Valentine's Day, keep those eyes half shut and start building your marriage by keeping your mouth shut!

I hope you and your husband have a very Happy Valentine's Day!

A Valentine Card to YOU...Be Happy!

I would assume that most of the readers of this blog are women who are looking for good marriages. They want to do what it takes to make their marriage work...and really be happy.

I have contended for many years that one of the best ways to make your marriage work is to be happy! I know I am as guilty as any woman in this area. For some reason we think our husbands are here as a sounding board, ready to absorb all our discontent and complaints.

Men generally are ok with their marriages. Most would probably say they are Happy. They are just unhappy that their wives can't be happy...because that is an attitude we love to convey to our mates.

Years ago, I used to go on a 'date' with my husband...with pen and paper in hand. I was always wanting to improve some aspect of our relationship or our family. I couldn't just Be Happy! Needless to say, it was my attitude that had to improve in order to make 'date night' or any other aspect of my marriage better.

As you plan for Valentine's Day and for your own date nights in 2010, consider the condition of your heart. That is what matters.

I know there are always things to be improved upon. There will always be situations you want to be different, but complaining and criticizing only closes down your husband's heart.

Here's an early Valentine card to you this year:

Dear Homemakers with Hope Anywhere and Everywhere,

1. Don't be critical with/of your husbands
2. Be Happy

...and have a wonderful Valentine's day all year long

Love,
Barb

Want the PERFECT Valentine's Gift for your HUSBAND?

Make 2010, a Valentine's Day to remember for your husband.

2010 is a year to be intentional. So be intentional with this gift.

Be intentional and go on a CRITICISM FAST for one week. No critical remarks, no complaining to others about him. Intentionally think good things about your husband. Choose to see the man you are married to, not the man you think he should be.

We just came off a week of blogging about our thought life and our mind. This is a perfect time to put alot of that insight into practice.

If you find you need to clarify something to your husband because he said or did something that really offended you or ticked you off, lead into the discussion with good intent.

"I know you didn't intend to upset me but what you said really hurt my feelings. I know you meant something different, but you came across harshly."

This approach in correcting your man teaches him what he did and why you responded the way you did...without criticizing him.

It's a challenge, but what a gift for the love of your life to receive for one week. NO CRITICISM. That means no grumbling to your mom, girlfriends or even your babies! It means thinking great thoughts about him.

Watch your words

Consider your facial expressions

Don't let your body language speak negatively

Bring every thought about your husband into captivity and replace the negative thoughts with thoughts that build him up in your mind (if you have to go back to your dating days to conjure up those thoughts, do it!)

Check out Ps 141:3 and post this on your mirror until Valentine's Day.

"Set a watch over my mouth, O Lord
Keep watch over the door of my lips"

When Valentine's Day comes on Sunday, trust me, your husband won't be looking for any other gift from you.

Worry

What do I often find running through my brain? Worry. How can I get this baby to sleep through the night? Is she eating enough? Am I playing with my toddler enough so she feels important? Are they reaching the developmental milestones they should be? Is my husband feeling supported? Am I a good wife, mother, friend, sister, homemaker, etc.? These are only a few of the things I worry about. When I dwell on these thoughts I feel stressed. When I am stressed I respond impatiently and that usually leads to more worry.

I am currently reading an EXCELLENT book. It is called Crazy Love by Francis Chan. This part really made me think.

"Worry implies that we don't quite trust that God is big enough, powerful enough, or loving enough to take care of what's happening in our lives. Stress says that the things we are involved in are important enough to merit our impatience, our lack of grace towards others or our tight grip of control. "

Convicted. That is how I felt when I read that. Not in a shameful, I want to run from God kind of way. It made me want to turn from what I dwell on and give all of those thoughts over to a God who is big enough, loving enough and who cares deeply about me. God does not want me addicted to worry. He wants me to know He is enough. I can love Him with everything that I am and He will guide me. He will give me the strength, patience, endurance, grace, etc. to face each new day and circumstance. That is what I want to dwell on. Oh how very thankful I am that I know God.

being a mom helps with self talk. . .

Self-talk is such a hard topic to narrow down to one blog post, but it is something very much worth writing about. I think as women we struggle with self-talk and we need to address it as such. I struggle with negative self talk as much as the next person, like right now I catch myself thinking I am not qualified to be writing this post. If I kept thinking that over and over I could eventually talk myself into not posting. I may not be an expert on self talk, but the truth is since I am a child of God, desiring to be an intentional women who wants to encourage other woman to pursue what is best, then am I not as qualified as the next person? I need to be constantly aware of the lies I tell myself. What is Satan keeping you from doing today because he has “talked” you out of it?

What I am most surprised about with self-talk is how it just creeps up on you. The verse Philippians 4:8 is posted in my home, and it is a good reminder of what I should be focused on. Whatever is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, praiseworthy THINK about such things. Yes, this is a tall order, but if I spend my time focused on those things would my self-talk be rooted in the Truths of God’s Word or in those things of this world? I know that I cannot do this in and of myself. I am as busy as the next woman and get pulled in every different direction, but I think being an intentional woman involves consistently being aware of our self-talk. We need to be plugged into the Truth of God’s Word. We need to be armed with the Truth so that when the lies are identified in our self-talk we can combat them with that Truth.

One thing I’ve realized lately is that as a mother of two young girls I am very aware of what they are putting into their minds. I watch very closely what they watch on TV or video, what they listen to, what they play on the computer, what they read. . .the list goes on. As a mother I desire for my children to not be exposed to those things in life that they are not ready for or should never be putting into their minds. Shouldn’t I be as concerned about what I put into my mind and what I choose to tell myself? I marvel at God’s design. How He uses those things in my everyday life to continually draw me back to Him-if I will only take the time to pause and listen.

I encourage you today to stop and really think about what you are telling yourself. Are you telling yourself Truth? Are you looking at yourself through God’s eyes or are you busy telling yourself the lies of this world-you’re not good enough. . .your not pretty enough. . .fill your mind with the Truth. God made you just the way you are for a purpose. No one else can fulfill that purpose but you!

Become a Student of What You Think

So how is your mind today? Have you been tracking your thoughts? Your self talk?

If you have given it some attention, you will notice that the health of your body does indeed affect your mental state and that is why it is so important for a woman to take care of herself in all areas of life.

That is easier said than done if you are a young mom with dependent kids who demand your attention all day long. But even a busy young mom can become a student of all that she thinks.

The words we mutter to ourselves have great impact. Our 'soundless thoughts' have the power to encourage or discourage us. They can motivate or deflate us. They can speak joy into our lives or take us on a downhill spiral.

"It is not enough to have a good mind. The main thing is to use it well." (Rene Descartes)

This subject is much bigger than a few blog postings can handle, but it's like all the other topics we touch upon, I hope it will begin to make you mindful of how you are using your mind.

A big breakthrough for me as I tried to discipline my thoughts and my self talk was to express my thoughts as silent prayers. When I worry, I pray...and then I follow it up with a prayer of thanksgiving. Seeing self-talk as a constant stream of prayer keeps my mind set on things above. Easy to do? Not in my own power it isn't. Only the Holy Spirit can keep me in prayer.

I've also found that if I discipline my mouth along with my thoughts, I speak what I seek rather than what I am afraid will happen.

Trying to be productive with my self talk and thoughts is better than wallowing in fear and
worry.

Who I spend time with also reinforces my positive or negative thinking. I have found that my negative self talk increases when I hang out with negative people.

Self talk is like every habit we talk about in Homemakers, it's the progress we are making that counts...not perfection...that we can't achieve anyway!

What's on Your Mind?

"Nurture great thoughts, for you will never go higher than your thoughts." That's a quote from Benjamin Disraeli


Have you ever been asked 'How is your mind today"? That's probably just as important as asking a friend how she is feeling. A healthy mind produces joy, like a healthy body produces energy.

A healthy mind is important for a woman who wants to be intentional because it's the mind that will keep her attention on her intention!

Becoming highly sensitive to what you think about most often is the quickest way to build intentionality into your life.

Last year, in Homemakers with Hope we focused on 'Self Talk'. There is so much we discussed, but this week we will give you a few things to think about as we review what we learned.

"Approximately 90% of today's thoughts are repeats from yesterday and the day before", according to Tommy Newberry, author and speaker.
With that in mind, it is a major undertaking to change up our thought-life. The time to really concentrate on your own thought life is before your kids start talking! Their thoughts only add to the mix and then you really have a full tank.

Newberry says that 'what you persistently think eventually but inevitably crystallizes into the words you speak and then the things you do".

That's what Luke 6:45 says "The good woman brings good things out of the good stored up in her heart, and the evil woman brings evil things out of the evil stored up in her heart. For out of the overflow of her heart her mouth speaks." (I changed the pronoun to a woman)

As women, we have control over our thoughts. Learning to focus on our thoughts and have authority over our self-talk is an exercise that we never out-grow.

Newberry goes so far to say that "you are writing your own life story with each subtle and soundless thought you think." I like the vision that 'soundless' brings to mind...a soundless thought can have such impact.

This week consider what is on your mind as we share briefly about our thought life and self-talk.

Quick Snack for Family and Friends

This is a great recipe to use when you have a ton of prezels left over!

Honey Spiced Pretzels

Ingredients
4 cups thin pretzel sticks
3 tablespoons honey
2 teaspoons butter or margarine, melted
1 teaspoon onion powder
1 teaspoon chili powder

Directions
Line a 15 x10 baking pan with foil; coat the foil with nonstick cooking spray. Place pretzels in a large bowl.
In a small bowl, combine the honey, butter, onion powder and chili powder.
Pour over pretzels; toss to coat evenly.
Spread into prepared pan.
Bake at 350 degrees for 8 minutes, stirring once. Cool on a wire rack, stirring gently several times to separate.

Have a fun weekend and try a new recipe!

Taco Pile Up

I saw that Barb had posted a Taco Casserole type dish on Monday and I thought I would add our family's version! YUM!

Taco Pile Up

1 can crescent rolls
4 cups chopped up chips (we use Doritos)
1 lb. ground beef
1 cup onion
1 package taco seasoning
small can of tomato sauce
1 cup sour cream
2 cups cheese

Preheat oven to 350. Brown the beef and onion together. Add the taco seasoning mix and small can of tomato sauce to the beef. Spread the unbaked crescent rolls in a greased 9 x 13 pan. Sprinkle 1 cup of the chopped up chips on the crescent rolls. Put the meat mixture on top of the chips. Spread the sour cream over the meat. Top the sour cream with cheese and finally sprinkle the remaining chips on top. Bake for 30 minutes. Serve this with salsa, olives, lettuce and sour cream.

Enjoy!

3 Ingredient Taco Dip

This may be the easiest taco dip you ever make and it is so very tasty. A friend brought it over the holidays I couldn't get enough of it. It is great on its own or could be used in a typical Mexican layer dip if you choose. I think it would be a great football game appetizer.

1 pkg Top the Tater (found by the sour cream)

1 pkg cream cheese

add a few tsp of taco seasoning (for color-not needed for flavor)

Serve chilled with a bag of Doritos for dipping-Doritos really make the difference.

Enjoy! Thanks for the recipe Liz!

Family Dessert

Here's a fast and easy dessert you can make with ingredients you have on hand. I think it tastes ALOT better the next day.

Apple Enchiladas

(21 ounce) can apple pie filling (I make my own apple sauce and keep it chunky...add a good amount...more than 21 oz, it might ooze-out but that is ok!
6 (8 inch) flour tortillas
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/3 cup margarine
1/2 cup white sugar
1/2 cup packed brown sugar
1/2 cup water

Directions:
1.Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C).
2.Spoon fruit evenly onto all tortillas, sprinkle with cinnamon. Roll up tortillas and place seam side down on lightly greased 8x8 baking pan.
3.Bring margarine, sugars and water to a boil in a medium sauce pan. Reduce heat and simmer, stirring constantly for 3 minutes.
4.Pour sauce evenly over tortillas; sprinkle with extra cinnamon on top if desired. Bake in preheated oven for 20 minutes.
5.Makes 6 large tortillas; may be cut in half to serve 12.

Re-heat in microwave if you serve it the next day. Top with dollop of ice cream. Ummmm!

Bummer!

That's the word-of-the-day around here as The Vikings lost their final game of the year. Crushed are our SuperBowl hopes. No excuse for a party.

Good thing we celebrated yesterday with some goodies to share:

Here's a Beef Taco-Style Casserole recipe your family and friends will like:

1 large onion (finely chopped)
1 T butter
2# ground beef
1 t salt
2 clove garlic (minced)
2 cans (8 oz each) tomato sauce
2 T red or white wine vinegar
2 T chili powder
1# can kidney beans (drained)
1 pkg ( 11oz) corn chips
1/2# mild or sharp cheddar cheese, shredded

Brown meat with onion in butter. Add salt, garlic, tomato sauce, vinegar and chili powder. Cover and simmer 15 minutes. Mix in kidney beans
Lightly butter 10" square baking dish. Cover bottom with corn chips. Sprinkle with cheese and spoon over half meat mixture.
Repeat layer.
Top with chips and cheese.
Bake uncovered. 350 until cheese melts and chips are toasty

Serve with condiments:
Shredded Lettuce
Shredded Cheese
Green Onions
Chopped Tomatoes
Sour Cream
Black Olives
Hot sauce

Quite a colorful dish, so it must be healthy!

Uncommon

Donna Otto, author and speaker, has a great motto that goes something like this:

"The Common begin...the Uncommon finish"

Think about that for a moment. It's the 'everyday gal' that begins a task with gusto, only to move on to another endeavor, leaving the first undone. Donna says that is the common thing to do, everybody does it. But does that make it right?

I still struggle with this syndrome. I think women today have so many good choices it is easy to move from one task to another never really allowing ourselves to be accountable and complete a job well.

Self-examination on a regular basis helps me stay focused. It helps me complete a job or a goal or a task because I am reminded of why I am doing it. I re-commit and move forward.

I have learned there may be times when I quit along the way, but that is after I have evaluated what and why I am doing something and then I MAKE that choice. When I was younger, I used to flit from task to task...system to system but I think with self-evaluation I am more aware of completing a worthwhile exercise and I reap the benefits as I continue to evaluate my growth.

When my kids were little I made them memorize this jingle:

When a job is first begun,
Do it well and get it done

Whether it is big or small,
Do it well or not at all!

I said it along with my kids for years, but it took years for me to practice what I preached. Self-evaluation opened my eyes to what I wasn't getting done. It encouraged me to stay the course.

If you decide to make 2010 a year to evaluate your goals and priorities, think of yourself as 'Uncommon' and be proud!

Completion

I am a big fan of starting things. I love starting simple things like crafts or organizing a closet. I even love starting more challenging things like new responsibilities, relationships, or activities. I am not a big fan of completion. I have many a craft undone in my craft room. I have a closet upstairs that is half organized. I have relationships that got started wonderfully but somehow I have lost touch with some due to the busyness of life. Does this sound familiar with any of you?

That is why when I sit down to write about goals or priorities I get a little discouraged. Will this be something I aim to complete but fail? Because life is busy and I am running on little sleep I get tempted to say that the only thing I am going to complete this year will be to love my husband and my sweet little girls. These are worthy priorities but I need to set some goals even in the busy times. Otherwise, how will I grow? How will I continue to become the woman God wants me to be if I take a timeout for a year because I am a young mother? I am clearly not saying that this would be the year to decide to take on new activities or commit to reading a book a week. That would be nonsense. But I am saying that even in this time when I am spread thin, I want to be growing and learning.

So, how am I going to succeed this year? I am going to evaluate myself on my goals. I honestly see the wisdom in a weekly evaluation. One of my goals is to eat a healthy breakfast in the morning with healthy snacks in between meals. On Sunday I am looking back at my week to see how I did. On the mornings I didn't do so great I can look and see what caused me to slip. Was I rushing to get out the door or was I just choosing something sugary despite my goal to eat healthier during the day?

This self evaluation will take some alone time and that is just what I need. I am in a demanding season of life and that is all the more reason for me to be intentional. I don't want to struggle to just keep my head above water this year or have intentions that never reach completion. This year I see my priorities clearly and have set goals that will be completed.

Making this a habit. . .

Life is cumulative . . .that is both encouraging and convicting all at the same time. In one sense our lives are not defined by one choice or moment, but on the other hand we need to be thinking about how we spend those daily moments because they are what make up our life.

After reading through our last chapter and taking a few personality tests, I have come to realize I am more of an introvert than I would have ever thought. (For those of you who know me that will come as a surprise as it did me). I am happy in the sense that by nature I self-evaluate on a regular basis, but I will admit I am not as intentional as I would like to be. After discussing this topic at homemakers on Monday I realized I fall into the category of wanting the system to work (ie journaling, recording on a calendar etc.) to record my goals of daily life, that I often get caught up in trying to find the perfect system instead of focusing on the purpose of that system. Do any of you have that problem? I think that has to do with my perfectionism. I want to have it just right before I jump in with both feet. I think I am realizing with this, I do not want to be that way. I feel that taking the time on a regular basis to review my choices and priorities will help me be more intentional. I have decided to take Barb’s advice and just choose one day a week, Sunday for me, and ask myself the questions she posted in the previous post(s). She suggested just getting into the habit of asking ourselves those questions so we can evaluate how our week went, not to beat ourselves up about our choices, but to help us evaluate if we are moving closer to our goals and living out our priorities. After awhile of just taking the time to ask the questions, it will hopefully become a habit and can transfer into a system that works.

I think this is one of those times where the rubber meets the road for me. I believe this is a great idea to help me be more intentional, but is not something that comes easily. I will have to make the choice to not do something else on Sundays in order to focus on my weekly review.

I hope some of you will join me in Barb’s challenge. In order to be intentional women we have to self evaluate. We need to write down where we are going, what our priorities are and then evaluate them on a short-term basis so that we can make adjustments so we can ultimately achieve our goals. I am so thankful for the reminder to not just let life happen to me but to be proactive and involved.

Life is Cumulative!

What we do in January will pay off for us next December. So what are you doing today that is significant in building your life?

Once you have identified what your priorities are, you are ready to set up some goals for yourself.

Goals are something YOU can master. If you say you want a good marriage you really can't say that is a goal. It is dependent on you AND your husband.

A marriage goal for January might be to speak a word of encouragement to your husband daily. It is something you can be responsible for and follow thru with it. It is measureable.

What goals do you have for your physical health?

What are your goals for your mental/emotional health?

Do you have any goals for the friendships in your life?

What goals can YOU be responsible for financially in 2010?

What are your spiritual goals?

What you do today will add to your quality of life or will come back as a burden.

Write down your goals in PRESENT tense.

Make them MEASURABLE.

Make them manageable for the season of life you are in.

Look at your goals daily or at least weekly. At the end of every month, adjust what you need to in order to keep those goals manageable and achievable for yourself.

Life is cumulative, so be sure your life is accumulating the right stuff!

Identify your priorities. Set some goals. Enjoy defining your life.

Priorities

At homemakers we are always talking about our priorities. How do we know how to prioritize our lives?

When trying to figure out what your priorities are for this year...or for January, ask youself the simple question,

"Can someone else do this?"

If someone else can do what you are agonizing over, perhaps you should let someone else do it! If, however, only you can fill those shoes, you have identified a priority that you need to put on your list of MUST DO.

Can only you love your husband? (I hope the answer is yes!)

Can only you breast feed your baby?

Can only you speak words of comfort to your child?

Can only you take care of your body?

Can only you be responsible for eating healthy food?

Can only you move your body today to get your heart pumping?

Can only you hide God's Word in your heart?

Can only you honor your mom today as a daughter?

Can only you pray for your kids with a mother's heart?

Can only you clean your house?

Can only you know when your friend needs to hear from you?

Can only you do the dishes?

Can only you do the job you were hired for...and getting a paycheck for?

Can only you build your house as in Proverbs 14:1?

If you ask yourself questions beginning with "Can only you..." you will find it easier to identify your priorities.

January 2010...what are your priorities for the season in life that you are in?

Year in Review

If you don't have a lot to review on your own, here's are few questions to help you wrap up 2009:

1. What was the 'moment of the year' for you in 2009?

2. Who was the 'person of the year' that influenced you the most?
Why?

3. What didn't work for you this year?

4. What was good for you in 2009?

5. How many books did you read this year?

6. What is one thing you learned from a book?

7. What one choice did you make during the year that you will remember?

8. What Bible verse meant alot to you this year? Did you memorize it?

These questions will only begin making sense to you as you make a habit of asking yourself these questions each year. You will begin to be on the look for people speaking into your lives. Your 'moment of the year' might be the birth of a child to the death of a parent. You will be present in the moment each day. You will be more mindful of what, if anything you are reading.
We are forever reviewing ourselves in many other areas of life...our personal growth should be right up there in importance.

Asking yourself these questions and more will help you appreciate the life you are living. You will see how God is working it altogether for good even when everyday seems like a blur.

Examine yourself as you lived 2009. It will help you navigate 2010 all the more.

Participate in your growth. . .my thoughts

Participate in your growth was the title of Barb’s last post. What a novel idea huh? Be present, be purposeful, be intentional. I would guess that those are things we all want to be. I had a hard time thinking about what to write in response to Barb’s post, but it got me thinking back to our last homemakers meeting when we talked about what if our ultimate pursuit was knowing God. Shouldn’t we as Christian women be focusing on that? As Christians we sometimes get so caught up in the rituals and disciplines of Christianity that we lose sight of that purpose. The rituals and disciplines become our god instead of focusing on God and letting that determine our rituals and disciplines. It may seem like semantics, but I don’t think it is. I think that out of a purposeful relationship with Jesus comes a desire to spend time with him, a desire to put in place things in your life to help you focus on God. We live in a world, especially in America, that bombards us with everything possible to distract us. I say it often, but I think one of Satan’s greatest tools is busyness. We need to put into place rituals and routines that help us refocus and play an active role in our growth. We are saved by grace, but if we are truly focused on knowing God, there should be evidence in our life that we are loving Him. I hope I am making sense. I think as we strive to be wise women we need to have strategies in place to help up stay focused and on the right path.

I struggle each year in January as I figure out how best achieve this goal. Some years I use a notebook, some a calendar. . .I haven’t found the perfect system and maybe I never will since life changes so much. I think the main thing is that each year I am trying to keep my actions in check with my purpose. I would love to hear ideas from you on ways you record and measure your growth.

Participate in your Growth

Elizabeth Elliot, Bible teacher and author, says that women are 'called to participate' in their spiritual growth. We are to be accountable for what we are doing on a daily basis.

What is your attitude towards growing your soul? While I know that salvation is totally by grace and not by works, I have found that I have to participate in my growth or I quickly fill up my days and mind with alot of clutter.

Is there one thing you could do different in 2010 that would trigger a real change in how you are growing? As a young mom, start small. Start simple. Just start.

Then record it

Then think about it when you can during the day. See how God brings it to your mind, prompts you with a song on the radio or encourages you in an article you might pick up in passing. Pray for God to enable you to make the needed changes...whether it is to have more patience with your kids, speak kindly to your husband, or to be more grateful.

Then record what you are learning. Date your entries.

Then review it at the end of the year.

That's all. I am the voice of experience. If I had know 38 years ago what a simple thing such as writing down a prayer of change would mean to my soul, I would have done it! Instead, I kept procrastinating, thinking I had to come up with a new and improved me. God just wanted me to get on board with Him and He made the necessary changes. Recording what I was learning is where I really began seeing the changes.

Don't let alot of resolutions, systems and busyness get in the way. Pick ONE THING to focus on in 2010 and then 'actively participate' to make it happen in your life.

How Wise are You?

A woman isn't wise because of what she knows, she is wise in the way in which she lives.

The start of a New Year is a great time to take stock of how we lived in 2009. Did you live wisely? It sure is easier to put a plan into place than to execute it so that is why it is important to step back and examine just what we did.

Do you have a notebook or journal you can review? Notes from sermons or CD's that you enjoyed?

I have used probably every form of 'recording my life' possible so I could comment on the effectiveness of many systems, but the important thing is to record something each year.

Three items have become foundational in my growth each year. Not only to keep me on track but to have something to examine at the end of each year.

First, I have a notebook that I put all my notes from the year in. This is where I put my book reviews, my notes about my theme and other notes that I found useful during the year. There have been years where I used this notebook as a journal, writing in it everyday.

Secondly, I have a calendar from every year. I try to find a really flat one that fits inside my notebook. This has taken the place of my journal in that I record prayer requests in it and other important happenings. I love looking back at this calendar at the end of every year to be reminded of answered prayers and tough decisions that had to be made. This is an invaluable tool for keeping me mindful and grateful.

Thirdly, I have a Bible that I use only for highlighting the verses I know. This Bible prompted me to choose my theme for last year, as I realized I could mark alot of verses I was familiar with, but really didn't know them well. What I have found to be valuable about this tool, is that I can grab it at any time and take it with me when I know I have some time to review my verses. Dr appointments, waiting to pick up someone, business appointments that might keep me waiting...I don't need to have any fancy system. I just take this Bible with me and I have something that will be of value as I go about my day.

As young moms, I know your days are full, but that is all the more reason to find a system to record your life...as simply as you can. Prayers, Bible verses, books read and quotes that are meaningful are just a few of the essentials that will feed your soul and remind you daily what it means to live in a wise manner. If you record just a page a year, you will have something to look back on and say, 'yes', I remember those days and I remember learning that piece of insight, whatever that might be. It will build on itself and soon you will have 5, 10, 15 years to look back on and see why you are the woman you have become.

That's when you will be living is a wise woman.

My oh my is it really time to pick another theme? It honestly seems like yesterday that I was choosing my theme for the past year. Time really does fly and this is one of the reasons that I love picking a theme to focus on throughout the year. Life goes by so quickly and having a theme for a year allows me to focus on things that matter. When things are good and when things are bad, I am focusing on something that is allowing me to draw closer to Jesus.

This past year my theme was Hope. I focused on knowing who or what my hope is in. I saw numerous times where I was looking in the wrong direction and I also saw times that I was truly at peace even in tough circumstances because I know where my hope comes from.

As I pick this year's theme I would like it to be something that is more measurable. Picking a theme is kind of the easy part. :) The tough part is making sure I follow through. Having a way to measure my growth would be really helpful and I am hoping to implement some sort of action plan this year. If you choose to pick a theme this year, I would encourage you to find a way to measure your growth as well. I think it really will make a difference.

Reflecting on my 2009 theme

I am just like Barb when it comes to the new year. I am not sure what it is about January, but I always feel like I have been given a fresh start and I love that feeling.

Barb introduced us a few years ago to the idea of themes, and I must admit while I loved the idea, I wasn’t sure how or what it would look like for me and my daily life. Just like Barb stated, through the years I have chosen themes that have made a huge impact, and I can really see the Lord using that theme to help me grow while other years the year just seems to go by-and it hasn’t impacted me as much as I would have liked. If I am honest I think those are the years I didn’t take enough time to choose a word that relates to my stage of life as well as me not putting enough effort into applying and searching out ways to help me grow in that given area.

I have not officially chosen my theme for 2010, but I definitely have a few in mind. We will be sharing those at a later date so I will take a few moments to reflect back on 2009. My theme was to be intentional. I loved this theme, but also feel like one year was not enough. Being intentional is a daily decision, and I will need to continue on for the rest of my life.

Barb had us do an activity one time about writing out what we would like to have written on our headstone if we were to die. While I will probably never totally have it figured out, I would love for it to say somewhere on it that I was an intentional woman, that I did not do what everyone else did, I lived out a life where when others looked at me they would see something different. They would see me making choices, daily choices that made me more like Jesus. I have such a long way to go, and I know I can only walk that journey with the Lord by my side cheering me on. That is what I think Barb wants for us with these yearly themes. It helps us focus on areas where we can learn to be more godly women, wives, and mothers. I think having something to focus on is a great way to help in your walk with the Lord. While I will look back on 2009 as the year when I really focused on being intentional, I will know it was the year I made a commitment to be intentional for the rest of my life. I am so thankful I have a relationship with the Lord who will help me on a daily basis! Happy 2010!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

I love new beginnings!

New calendars, new check registers (does anyone use them anymore?!), empty files, a new pile of books to read, new resolutions...and a new theme for 2010.

Did you have a theme for 2009 and if you did, how did it affect your year?

My theme for 2009 was to "renew my mind". I was curious to see how this theme would unfold for me. I have chosen a theme for many years now. Some years I really see how my theme just captivates me and affects so many different aspects of my life. Some years I fall short of what I hope to learn about my theme.

This year I shouldn't have been surprise how constant I was reminded of how and why I needed to renew my mind. My self-talk really took a beating as I became aware of how much of my self-talk needed to be improved upon.

I will talk more about my theme in abit, but for now, I would like to encourage any of you to consider a topic that you would like to go deeper in. I have found that a few guidelines made a difference to my growth in having a theme:

1. Pick a theme that is measureable. One year I studied prayer. Such a vast subject to focus on, so I narrowed it down to praying for my kids. I developed a system that would hold me accountable to praying for my kids in a very purposeful way. After 365 days, I had developed some strong muscles in this area just because I had chosen prayer as my theme that year.

2. Write down your theme. Sometimes I start a year with one theme, but as I write down exactly what I am trying to accomplish with the theme, I word it more succinctly and it becomes manageable.

3. Always refer to it in the present tense. This year I kept telling myself I was renewing my mind and therefore, I was thinking about such things. It kept me mindful of just what I was thinking daily, not just when I sat down to ponder my theme.

Choosing a theme each year has defined many years for me in very special ways.

Renewing My Mind

Having a yearly theme has been a very personal exercise for me. Looking back, I think maybe I should have shared it with others just to keep my momentum going. I didn't want it to become like a resolution where I was determined to achieve a desired result. I wanted to delve into an area abit more purposeful, but I didn't want it to be a pass/fail type of endeavor.

This year I chose a theme to 'renew my mind'. I initally thought that would be simply to organize all the Bible verses I have memorized. I had alot of verses rattling around in my brain, but couldn't locate them accurately so my hope was to use my mind in a very purposeful way...and to learn the verse and reference once and for all.

I wasn't sure exactly what I wanted the end result to be, I simply wanted to be more mindful of my thought-life and I thought it would be measureable if I concentrated on what was in my memory bank.

I wasn't going to do this to sing my praises that I memorize verses

I was simply putting Rom 12:2 into an organized way of 'renewing my mind'.

I had a great time trying different systems. I spent the first 2 months trying to get a system into place...and in essence avoiding doing the work that this theme required, memorizing!

I finally set up a simple system of recording the verses in a handy way I could review them and recall where I would find them in the Bible. Very simple. Very accessible.

I was very ambitious to begin with, thinking I could memorize a verse a day...365 verses in 2009. Then I realized I would be doing it for all the wrong reasons and i would never be able to recall them all.

So I became realistic and simply made a point of 'renewing my mind' daily with verses and spent alot of time in review. I became much more conscious of WHAT I was thinking on an on-going basis.

'Renewing my mind' became alot more than just memorizing.

My theme for 2010? I don't know yet. Several ideas intrigue me, but I have learned not to force a theme. God will reveal what He wants me to work on.

How about you? Are you ready to have a theme that will help you define 2010 for your life?

Happy New Year!!!

Barb has a New Year's Eve tradition that she has been doing since her kids were very young. I love this idea and wanted to share....

Make your table festive for New Year's Eve or New Year's Day by adding the following:

CANDY... for sweet adventures in the New Year!

AN APPLE... for a New Year of smiles!

COAL... for love and warmth throughout the New Year!

PEANUTS (in the shell!)...a New Year of surprises!

Scatter some of the items around the table, putting an apple on each plate. A quick note written on the computer could sit beside each place setting to explain your wishes for each of your loved ones.

Simple, but it works to stimulate a discussion for everyone's dreams for the New Year.

Have a Happy New Year!

Remembering 2009

Are you ready for this year to end? It seems like everyone I talk to says they can't believe it's the New Year again. Where did the time go?

I've found about the best way to track my year is by reviewing the books I've read. I keep a notebook and I record a brief summary of the books I read. I hate to admit this, but as I looked through my notebook today, there were books I read that I forgot all about. That means I don't remember too much about what is inside of them either:) Still, I am glad I read the books I did. In my notebook I fill out a quick synopsis of each book:

Name of book:
Author:
Number of pages in book:
Number of pages I read: (most the time I finish a book, but if it's not really speaking to me, I just record the number of pages I do read. It helps me to know if I should recommend a book, etc.)
Where did I hear about the book:
Premise of book:
Did it meet my expectations:
Would I recommend it to other women:
Why or why not:
What did I learn and hope to remember:


In 2009 I read 2 of John Ortberg's books, "When the Game is Over, it all goes Back in the Box" and Everybody's Normal till you get to Know Them". Both good books, easy reading, alot of good stuff. Highly recommend them.

I read 2 books by Margaret Feinberg. She is a popular author for women. "The Organic God" tells of her journey to see God's beauty daily. She asks, "What do you love about Jesus?" That is her way to open up conversations with other women. She maintains that sharing one's faith is a matter of connection, not coercion.
Her other book, "The Sacred Echo" is about prayer.

I recommend any of these 4 books if you are looking for inspiration and growth of your soul in 2010.

I loved reading to my kids when they were young. When they began reading books by themselves, I asked them which ones they would recommend for me to read. It made them think about why they were reading the books they chose and also gave us lots to talk about.

To my surprise, my kids continued to recommend books to me all the way through college!

In 2009, Dan told me about 4 books that I would never have picked up on my own. I learned alot about what he was studying and again gave us some good conversation around the books.

If you are looking for New Year's Resolutions...reading, recording what you read and reading what your kids are reading are 3 good ones to consider!