Another Thanksgiving Favorite...

Lena said to Ole "My 2 specialties are meatballs and peach pie"
Ole answered "Oh,I see- and which one is this?"

HA,HA,HA!

Here's a favorite recipe that even Ole would salivate over...

Barb's Best Pecan Pie

9" unbaked pie crust
1 cup light corn syrup
1 cup firmly packed brown sugar
3 eggs, slightly beaten
1/3 cup butter, melted
1/3 tsp. salt
1 tsp vanilla
1 heaping cup pecan halves

Prepare pie crust. Combine filling. Mix well
Pour filling into crust. Sprinkle with pecans.
Bake at 350 for 45-50 minutes or until center is set. (Insert toothpick)
(Cover with foil when baking if it gets too brown)
Cool
Serve with ice cream. Delish!

Please participate in our contest, share your recipes! (See yesterday's posting) If you are afraid you will WIN and don't want your picture on our blog, we will put a picture of Lena instead! So please share your joy of cooking with us all!

Recipe contest!

All of us could use new recipes....especially for the holidays. So we're having a recipe contest!

Please post one of your favorite recipes for Thanksgiving or Christmas in the comment section.

We'll test out the recipes and choose the one we like best. The winner will be recognized on the blog with her photo. AND she gets to choose a topic that we will post about for one week. ANY topic.

Ready...

Set...

Go...

Can't wait to receive and try your recipes!

Contest ends Thursday December 4.

Thanksgiving recipes!

In the next few days you might be asked to bring a recipe to a relative's house, to a potluck or maybe you are hosting thanksgiving for the very first time yourself.

Whatever the case, this week Barb and I will post a few of our favorite recipes for turkey day.

Today I'm including my tried and true Green Bean Casserole. It's not the typical ingredients...much more flavorful and tastier. Give it a try and let me know what you think!

Grandma’s Green Bean Casserole
* 2 tablespoons butter
* 2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
* 1 teaspoon salt
* 1 teaspoon white sugar
* 1/4 cup onion, diced
* 1 cup sour cream
* 3 (14.5 ounce) cans French style green beans, drained
* 2 cups shredded Cheddar cheese
* French Fried Onions (as much as you like)

DIRECTIONS
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
2. Melt 2 tablespoons butter in a large skillet over medium heat. Stir in flour until smooth, and cook for one minute. Stir in the salt, sugar, onion, and sour cream. Add green beans, and stir to coat.
3. Transfer the mixture to a 2 1/2 quart casserole dish. Spread shredded cheese over the top.
4. Bake for 25 minutes in the preheated oven, or until the top is golden and cheese is bubbly.
5. Sprinkle French Fried Onions over the cheese. Bake another 5 minutes.

Note: I mix in one cup of the cheese and put one cup on top of the beans. I use a lot of the French Fried Onions!! I use 4 cans of beans instead of 3 and I often use regular beans...not french style.

Home Improvement...Use Your Money Wisely!

Hopefully, a few of the money-saving tips we shared with you this week sparked an interest to be mindful of your spending/saving habits.

Here's one of the better tips I've heard. Freeze a block of ice in your freezer. Just as it hardens, slip your credit card into the middle of it! If you have more than one card, freeze as many ice blocks as you need. Store them in your freezer for an emergency...then use cash to purchase your necessities.

I am told that freezing the cards will not damage the magnetic strips, so no excuses for not putting your Visa on 'ice' for awhile!

What a great Home Improvement exercise this could be for all of us to eliminate needless spending over the holidays.

Buy or borrow?

In today's world we are bombarded by ads, commercials, and billboards that tell us what we need and when we need it. We are told to consume, consume, consume...

We don't really need everything "they" tell us we do.

And why buy when you can borrow?

Recently I've learned that I don't need to register or purchase everything that Babies-R-Us offers. I've received so much baby stuff from other people. Some has been borrowed, some has been given. This has taught me much. Why do we save stuff and hoard it in our basements and closets when we can share it with others?

There are many items that you could borrow rather than buy. Here are just a few:
Books
CDs
Movies
Children's clothing
Dishes/serving platters (for special occasions)
Many baby items
Tools used for specific projects
Household items like large ladders

If you buy all this, not only will you spend more money, but you will also have to find a place to store it all. So next time you are tempted, ask yourself, "Buy or borrow?"

Save Money at the Grocery Store!

It's never easy to cut back on spending, especially at the grocery store!

My husband and I have lived on commission for most of our married life, so I have found over the years it is easier to have a system in place for sensible shopping, rather than cut corners severely when the income wasn't there. Here are some of my favorites:

1. Shop with a plan. I always try to have a list along when I shop and stick to that list! I make a weekly menu and make sure I have the items I need for the meals I will be serving. If the budget is lean, I choose recipes that are economical.

2. I found a 'planned menu' keeps variety on the table.

3. Emilie Barnes taught me to shop within a half hour. A study suggested that customers spent at least 75 cents a minute after a half-hour in the store! This is another reason to shop with a list!

4. I try to avoid rush hour and busy weekends...and try never to shop when I am hungry!

5. I buy the fruits and vegetables that are in season...lots of corn on the cob in the summer, and then I buy squash in the fall. In-season foods are tastier and cheaper.

6. I try to shop alone. Even my husband will throw in 'extras' that we don't need when I am trying to keep my spending down. Kids will slow your shopping down and will plead for everything they've seen advertised on TV!

7. I will stock up when the money comes in, and then I live 'out of the pantry' when the money is tight. Creativity and 'presentation of the food' can be fun challenge to master as you serve your family and still maintain a budget.

Join us and share your money-saving tips. Help us all be better stewards of our money.

Temperature tips

My home, cute as it is, was built in 1938 and it's cold!

I've been working all day on an article that's due this week and as I type my fingers are ice cold. ICE COLD.

It is 31 degrees outside and thermostat in my home is set at 69 degrees...I am unusually cold at all times...so I've got to do something or it will be a very chilly winter in the May household.

Rather than crank up my thermostat and pay the consequences later, I did a little research on how to keep my home temperature high and my heating bills low.

According to WCCO television, the average family spends $1,000 a year to heat its home. Here are a few tips to help reduce heating costs this winter:

Check outlets on outer walls. If they are letting in cold air, plug em.

If you have an attic door(s) use weather stripping to seal the attic door.

Seal all windows (or add plastic to them like we did!).

Turn down the thermometer at night and when you are not at home. Get a prgrammable thermostat (for as little as $32). Turn your thermostat to 68 during the day and lower at night or when you are gone for extended periods of time.

Replace or clean furnace filters once a month. And be sure to schedule a furnace tune-up so it is running efficiently.

Let the sunshine in....open blinds/drapes and let nature heat your home on sunny days. Close them when the sun goes down or on cloudy days - it keeps the warmth in.

Close off vents and rooms that are not used daily. Keep the warmth in the rooms you reside in most often.

If you live in a newer home you probably don't have to worry about attics or old windows. But if your home is big, it still takes a lot of energy to heat.

Don't we all have other things we would rather spend our money on than the heating bill? Lets be wise stewards of our resources...and reap the rewards later!

We're Back...with Money-Saving Tips!

We apologize for the interruption on this blog. A gremlin shut it down for a bit, but I think we are good to go again...is there anyone still checking out this blog? I hope so, because Stacy and I are excited to kick-off the holiday season with money-saving tips!

It isn't fun heading into the Christmas season with a tough economy and many jobs on the line, but it's a great time to really focus on the meaning of Christmas and make that shine in your home this year.

Creativity is the key, I think. Be creative when you are thinking of giving gifts.

This year, tell your friends that you will spend time rather than money and plan an evening when you can just hang out together.

Give a photo of you or your family to grandma and grandpa rather than buy an expensive present.

Bake with your children and give away the bounty.

Use cash to purchase the rest of your gifts. If you don't have the money, don't spend it!

Focus on making memories, not debt.

Do a fun, simple project with your kids every day during December as you count down to Christmas. By the time the 25th arrives, you will have made 25 memories and gifts will not be the focus. Need examples? With or without kids, you can...
Go caroling one night
Take several nights to decorate your home
Light candles and spend the evening remembering past Christmases
Set a pretty table every night in honor of Christ's birth
String popcorn and cranberries
Read several Christmas books out loud throughout the season
Wear red one day every week. Wear green one day every week!
Make your own wrapping paper by stamping veggies in paint and pressing on butcher paper!

Got the idea? Be creative...and only use cash when buying presents this year. Not only will you have a Merry Christmas, but also a Happy New Year...debt-free!

The Day After...

So how did your candidates do last night?

Did your vote put the people you wanted in office?

The verse that came to my mind this morning was 2Timothy 1:7, "For God hath not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, of love and of a sound mind(KJV)."

This year in Homemakers with Hope, we are focusing on our MINDS. What we think and why we dwell on those thoughts. Results of an election of this magnitude can make us lazy if we think 'our people' won and they will take care of us from here on out, or it can make us fearful as we wonder what the future will bring.

A wise woman is a woman who isn't fearful, but has a sound mind. She knows her help comes from the Lord, 'who made the heavens and the earth'.(Ps.121)

Ps 40:4 says, Blessed is the woman who makes the LORD her trust (I inserted the feminine pronouns!)

God has given women the potential for a sound mind, but we need to evaluate what we are thinking continually.

Already this morning, the radio is a-buzz telling us what to think and how to act now that the election is over.

Check yourself as you move forward after this election. Are you a woman who is developing a sound mind?

Do you give thanks in all things?
Do you pray continually?
Do you guard your heart and mind?
Are you faithful in your responsibilities?
Do you have a servant's heart?
Do you use your time wisely?
Do you show self discipline in your words, your habits, your thinking, your emotions?

That's just for starters! This day after the election leaves me with much to do! I don't need to be told what to think and how to act after the election. I have plenty to keep my mind occupied as I strive to become a woman with a sound mind.

How many elections will you vote in during your lifetime?

Today my husband and I went to vote. We stood in line for 1 hour 15 minutes. While we were waiting a couple went to the front of the line - they were 94 years old. They had voted in 20 elections.

20!?

Ryan and I counted that this was our 4th election we have the privilege of voting in.

I was in awe that a couple of 94 years of age...moving quite delicately and slowly...would take the time and make it a priority to vote.

I wish I could sit down with that couple...and talk to them about what they've seen and experienced in life. About their marriage and commitment to one another. About the changes in politics, government, education, jobs. Can you imagine how different life was when they voted in their first election?

Just seeing them inspired me. Inspired me to make sure I always made it a priority to cast my ballot. Inspired me to stay committed to my spouse for the next 16 elections! Inspired me to look to the future with hope and anticipation.

Women...Did You Know?

Did you know that women have been voting for only 88 years? In 1920, women were given the right to vote in the 19th amendment.

Read http://www.snopes.com/politics/ballot/womenvote.asp It describes what some women did to obtain this freedom for us. After reading this article, you will have no excuse for not getting out to vote.

Tomorrow is our opportunity as women to cast our vote to keep America free and strong. Here are some web sites that may help you with any last minute questions you might have about where to vote, who is your candidate and what issues you need to be aware of:

http://votesmart.org/ Click on 'give me the facts' and then type in your zipcode

http://www.ontheissues.org/

What a privilege it is to vote. As a young child, I remember my dad getting up early on election day, dress for work and head to the polling place to be one of the first in line. He always spoke positively about the experience and set a good example for me.

Be mindful, moms, of the little eyes and ears that are watching you tomorrow. Talk about the privilege of voting, the freedoms that America has and the opportunity you have to cast a ballot for the people you want to run this great country.

Celebrate our rights and get out and VOTE tomorrow!

Life as a homemaker

Yesterday marked the 30th day since Samuel's birth - the last day of the birth father's rights. So today Ryan and I feel quite confident that we can move forward with adoption plans.

Of course as we have learned, God's plans are very different than ours... but as I sit here holding my miracle I'm at peace that God is in control.

This week we'll return to Homemaking topics (like politics!). I feel like I'm lacking in the Homemaking department these days....

...my clothes are piling up and I'm living out of my laundry basket.

...I still haven't unpacked from Hawaii (I returned on Sept. 29!!).

...I finally cooked my first real meal today in my newly remodeled kitchen.

But I'm trying to give myself some grace. It took me eight years to become a wife and just 3 hours one Saturday to become a mom (if you don't count the previous three years of waiting).

So I'm learning a little bit at a time. And I hope you'll learn along with me. Even though today is the last posting (for now!) on the miracle of Samuel, I'm sure I'll be blogging about my new role as a mom...and asking all you moms for advice and help.

You can always check out updates of Samuel on www.samuelmay.com.

Who knew when I posted on Friday October 3 about hanging clothes on the line what my next month would hold?

Life as a Homemaker....always full of surprises. We're so glad you're on this journey with us.

Lessons Learned...

Socrates taught his students, "An unexamined life is not worth living."

I have heard it said that "A life worth living is a life worth recording"

To be able to share our sorrow and now our joy through this blog has been such a blessing to me because I am able to write down at least in part the miracle of it all. I am able to 'examine' the details and know that Samuel is nothing short of a blessing from God. As I consider the magnitude of how everything came together so perfectly, I am constantly uttering a prayer of thanksgiving.

I also am recording my thoughts and prayers of praise in my journal and Bible so I will have these moments to treasure and reflect back on during my next period of 'waiting' whenever that may come. I tend to forget easily and by recording my journey of the past 30 days, I will reminded everytime I open my Bible.

'Examining' and 'recording' during times of blessing increases my awareness of God's Goodness and demands that I give thanks for it all.

Praising God for lessons learned...

I've been thinking a lot this week about my journey. My journey of infertility. My journey of loss - two babies who are now in heaven. My journey of waiting on the Lord.

What do I do now with my journey? How has it impacted and changed me? Does the gift of Samuel now mean that my journey is over? Do I transition from three years of waiting to...non-waiting in the blink of an eye?

I have so many emotions and thoughts to think through and process.

One thing I know for sure...
My journey of waiting was not wasted. It changed me forever and I am forever grateful. It brought me to my knees before the Lord - I could not control my conception (even though I tried!) - and I had to rely in total dependence on the God of the universe.

Through my journey of loss and waiting I know that God used me and I know today that He is continuing to use me. I am currently communicating with various women via e-mail who are still waiting or have suffered the loss of little ones in their womb. My heart aches for them and I identify with every emotion. My hope and prayer is that God would use my experiences to encourage them on their journey.

This quote speaks perfectly to that:
"Our sufferings may be hard to bear, but they teach us lessons which, in turn, equip us to help others."
- Billy Graham

Today I'm curious to know: what have your sufferings taught you? How has your life journey changed you? What lessons have you learned that allow you to help others?

It's good to reflect and ponder the challenges, suffering, and miracles of life.

Let's share with one another and praise God for it all.

Counting Our Blessings!

5 months ago, we welcomed little Jonathan into our family...and here he is with his NEW cousin, Samuel! If a picture is worth 10,000 words and since I have been speechless the last 2 weeks, I will let this photo do the talking.

Samuel, we all love you!

"Shout for joy to the LORD, all the earth.

Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name.
For the LORD is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations."

Psalms 100

A daddy's love...via text messages

Ryan left for France on Saturday. From across the ocean he counted down the minutes until the consent to adopt was final today....these are the text messages I received:

oct 26 1:08 pm
approaching 24 hours

oct 27, 6:59 am
7 hours and counting

oct 27, 11:01 am
3 hours. any word?

oct 27, 11:58 am
two hours!

oct 27, 12:59 pm
Any word from Judy? 1 hour to go! Call when you can.

oct 27, 1:41 pm
19 mins

oct 27, 1:57 pm
3 mins. everyone i am with is waiting to hear.

oct 27, 2:01 pm
time up. what's the word?


Clearly, Ryan is quite ecstatic to be a dad. The word is that the consent to adopt from the birth mom was final at 2 p.m. today.

P r a i s e G o d.

Perfectly worded

This week I saw the following things written on two separate cards. The words touched my heart in a powerful way....

The first was a baby card that said: "Miracles are worth the wait."

I couldn't agree more.

The second was:

"The Lord is good to those who wait for Him..." Lamentations 3:25

He is SO good.

I am SO thankful that we waited.

I pray that if you are in a waiting season that your heart would be encouraged today. God knows. He has a plan. And His plan is definitely worth waiting for.

And Waiting...

"Waiting on the Lord" is not without activity.

Stacy shared yesterday how she and Ryan did not want their infertility to 'define' their marriage or this time in their lives. I was touched when they shared this at a church service, thinking how wise of them to identify a trap that many people find themselves in when waiting. It becomes all about themselves or all about their problem. People who 'wait' often pull everyone who will listen into their pain and their waiting period becomes a time of re-hashing the problem.

Stacy and Ryan deliberately chose not to do this.

It was an eye-opener to me as I saw them continue on with their lives reaching out to others and sharing their pain with just a few close friends who supported them in prayer and love.

"Waiting on the Lord" can be a defining spiritual exercise. Not easy, but very life-changing when the time is used to listen for God's leading.

Learning contentment is a by-product of 'waiting' as well. Contentment doesn't come from getting what I want...it comes from waiting on the Lord to show me His perfect plan.

This week, as I wait on the Lord for Samuel to become 'ours', I must focus my attention on what is true, delight in what God has provided up to now and give thanks that we have this opportunity to love Samuel each day.

While I'm Waiting

Pastor John Fuller says, "Be assured of this, if you are not in it right now, God will call all of us to waiting periods in our lives."

What do we do with our waiting periods?

We can become...

angry. jealous. hardened. depressed. frustrated. bitter.

Or we can...

love. serve. believe. worship. give. care. trust. grow.

It's our choice.

Sometimes I've made the wrong choice. But thankfully I recognized my choices and asked the Lord to clean me out of anything that was not of Him.

In the Spring of 2006 Ryan told our church family that we would not be defined by waiting. We would be defined by service. Ryan and I were participating in a service project when we got the call about Samuel. Isn't God good?

A friend shared this song with me recently. It is one of the one most powerful songs I've ever heard. The lyrics tell us exactly what we should do with our wait.

LISTEN to the words.

Waiting...

Does waiting get any easier the older I get? I mean, I've waited quite abit in my life...

...for boyfriends to call

...zits to clear up

...a job offer to come through

...a sick child to recover

...a relationship to heal

...a biopsy report

and on and on, I've waited. Now our family is waiting for precious Samuel to be 'officially' adopted into our family and I wonder if I have learned anything from my years of waiting.

C.S. Lewis expresses my inner thoughts so well,

"We are not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be."

My periods of waiting have taught me one thing:

LOOK BACK...not forward. As I look forward, I tend to worry and play the 'what if' game. When I discipline myself to LOOK BACK, I see how God has blessed me all along my journey...not with painful blessings, but indeed blessings!

This week, I can't help but LOOK BACK and remember how Samuel entered into our lives and trust that God will continue to do the best for us.

Waiting

Today we are waiting...

Waiting to get our pre-adoptive custody order. Waiting for the 10-day period to go by so the consent to adopt from the birth mom will be final. Waiting for the 30 days that need to pass for the birth dad's rights to be relinquished.

It is hard to wait, but this waiting is different than the waiting I've done in my past.

It is hopeful waiting.

It is also a shorter waiting period compared to the three years we have waited on the Lord to grow our family.

But still....it is waiting.

During my three-year season of waiting I came across this poem. It spoke directly to the hurt, pain and longing that comes with waiting. It challenged me and encouraged me in my waiting. It reminded me that my wait wasn't worthless. My wait wasn't wasted. My wait was part of God's plan for me to truly know Him.

Whatever kind of waiting you are facing today - hopeful waiting, sad waiting, discouraged waiting, painful waiting, anxious waiting - my desire is that this poem speaks to your heart to remind you that it's worth the wait:


The Wait Poem
by Russell Kelfer

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate...
and the Master so gently said, "Wait."

"Wait? you say wait?" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!"
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your Word.

My future and all to which I relate
hangs in the balance and you tell me to Wait?"
I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign.
Or even a 'no,' to which I'll resign.

You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
Lord, I've been asking, and this is my cry:
I'm weary of asking! I need a reply.

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate
as my Master replied again, "Wait."
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,
and grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting...for what?"

He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine...
and He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.

I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.
You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of My love for each saint.
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint.

You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;
you'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me
when darkness and silence are all you can see.

You'd never experience the fullness of love
when the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.

The glow of My comfort late into the night,
the faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask
From an infinite God who makes what you have last.

You'd never know should your pain quickly flee,
what it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
but oh, the loss if I lost what I'm doing in you.

So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
that the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.
And though oft My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still “WAIT.”

Answered prayer?

It has been such a delight to hear the many many stories of people who have prayed for Ryan and I during the past few years....through the miscarriages, through the infertility, through the heartache and longing.

Just this week I got an e-mail from a friend's mother-in-law who told me she prayed for Ryan and I on Sept. 20 of this year. She wrote in her journal asking God to give us a baby by Sept. 20, 2009. She thought that meant we would have to get pregnant in the next few months because how could we possibly get a baby that quickly if we hadn't started the adoption process?

I also heard that a friend of both my and Ryan's parents has had her small group praying for us for a long time. We have never met this small group and probably never will.

I have four women from my church who I consider mighty prayer warriors who have lifted up Ryan and I and our desire for a baby for many months.

My mother-in-law meets regularly with a few other women to pray for one another's children. I know they have faithfully prayed for Ryan and I for years.

We have friends who fasted and prayed for us after we had our second miscarriage.

These are just a few of the examples of how others have interceded on our behalf and how God responded to those prayers with a miracle.

I heard Beth Moore say that just because you haven't seen an answer to your prayer doesn't mean it hasn't already been answered....maybe it just hasn't come to fruition yet. It is quite possible that three years ago when I prayed for a baby, and when so many others prayed as well, God answered our prayers immediately.

But we didn't see the answer to that prayer until now.

I believe He waited so that He would receive the glory and honor.

I hope each and every one of you are rejoicing with us because if you prayed, this is YOUR miracle too.

Be encouraged friends: God hears your prayers.

God already knew

Dear Mrs. Herweyer,

Last fall, October 2007, I met with your daughter Heidi at Caribou Coffee. We talked about life...struggles...challenges of waiting on the Lord and trusting in His timing and plan for our lives.

At the time Heidi and I were both trying to conceive and we shared our hearts with one another. It was a very impactful conversation for me.

What specifically spoke to me was when Heidi referenced something you told her. Throughout the past year I have recalled it often.

You told Heidi that God already knew the due date of her future baby. Whether that would be her own due date or the due date of another woman, God already knew.

I've thought about that often. I've contemplated the wisdom of God. The plan that was already in place. I wondered when my due date would come.

My first due date was Feb. 4, 2007. My second due date was April 20, 2009.

Yet neither one of those due dates were ultimately part of God's perfect plan.

That very same day that Heidi and I met for coffee, she went home and took a pregnancy test. She found out she was expecting Claire.

This week I thought once again about that conversation between Heidi and I and the wisdom you shared with her.

God knew Heidi's due date would be June 10, 2008. He knew little miss Claire Weber would be born into this world at 11:10 a.m., 7 lbs, 9 oz.

God knew Samantha's due date would be October 3, 2008. He knew little mr. Samuel May would be born into this world at 2:10 p.m., 6 lbs, 12 oz.

God already knew. Heidi and I just needed people to come alongside us and remind us that He had a plan already in place.

Whatever the future holds, God already knows.

And I can rest in that truth today.

No fear in miracles

Thank you to everyone who prayed for the home study yesterday....we think it went well. We're just happy to be done with that portion of the adoption process. We still have paperwork to complete but we're getting closer.

As the days go by, I find myself having moments of deep fear. The 'what ifs' start pouring in...what if the birth mom wants Samuel back? What if the dad finds out? What if there is some legal glitch we've overlooked? What if we don't get to keep him and love him forever?

What if....

I shared my fear with a friend last week and she wisely responded, "Stacy, there is no fear in a miracle."

Those were exactly the words I needed to hear. Samuel is a miracle....his mom could have aborted him, he could have been born premature with fetal alcohol syndrome or other health issues, he could have gone to another family.

But he is healthy. He is alive. He is ours. He is a living miracle.

So today I'm reminding myself there is no fear in miracles. 2 Timothy 1:7 says, "For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline."

Are you waiting on God for your miracle? Are you living in fear about what ifs in your future?

Let's commit the future, and all of our unkowns, to a known God.

Homemakers in real life

Barb and I have been writing on this blog for about 1 1/2 years. I was in Homemakers for 7 years. We studied. We read books. We memorized scripture. We shared recipes. We talked about our homes and how to live intentionally each day. We encouraged one another in our homemaking roles.

Today I feel like so much of what I have learned and put into practice in my home is being critiqued by the outside world.

At 1 p.m. a gal from the adoption agency is coming to see our home and finish our home study (which means asking lots of questions about our marriage, life, parents, work, relationships, parenting, etc).

Will I remember what I've been taught? Will I be able to articulate what I know? Will she understand that no words can adequately describe our desire to be parents to Samuel? Will she notice the time and energy we've put into 'building' our home?

Please pray for the adoption paperwork I need to finish prior to 1 p.m. today and for our appt from 1-3.

It's exciting and yet nerve wracking to take what I learned in the 'homemakers classroom' and apply it to real life today. I am so thankful for the training I've had for the past 7 years.

Let's hope we pass the test!

Home Improvement...

Every Friday on this blog, we try to challenge our readers with a 'home improvement' tip or new idea to try. This week, how about being mindful of miracles in your life...and also keep Ryan and Stacy in your prayers.

Wednesday they took Samuel to the pediatrician and received a good report on his health.

Thursday they met with a woman who is doing a 'home-study' on Ryan and Stacy and the extended family.

Today, the birthmom will sign papers that will start the clock ticking towards final approval (about Oct 28).

Ryan and Stacy will get finger-printed today and then spend the weekend filling out paperwork.

On Monday, the 'home-study' lady will visit their home. All week and through the weekend, friends and family have been at their house painting and fixing up the baby's room. Note the posting on Sept 30th...there was no shortage of work to be done!

Thanks to all of you who have prayed along with us this week. Make this weekend a time to rejoice and count your own blessings!

Asked of God; heard by God

"What are you going to name him?" the birth mom asked us Saturday...literally hours after meeting her.

Ryan and I looked at each other. We had a few names in the back of our minds but we weren't sure. Twice we had dreamed of baby names and now we actually had the opportunity to name a baby - our baby!

I went to the nurses station and they gave me a couple baby books, one of which was titled "Baby Naming for Dummies" and one titled "100,000 baby names." Are you kidding me? 100,000 baby names? I was so overhwlemed by this task....not to mention I could hardly comprehend the events of the day were actually occurring.

Ryan and I made a list of names. I crossed lots of them out. We talked. Sounded them out. Wondered how they would work with our last name - May. We wanted a name with meaning.

When we got home from the hospital Saturday night I looked up 1 Samuel in my bible. You can read the first chapter here.

The story of Hannah has been incredibly impactful in my life the past two years. Friends have prayed that the Lord would 'remember me.' For months I 'poured out my soul to the Lord in great anguish and grief.'

I wrote a series of postings from this summer dealing with the bitterness in my heart from my infertility and miscarriages. Verse 10 challenged me to take my bitterness to the Lord: In bitterness of soul Hannah wept much and prayed to the Lord.

I had prayed this very prayer from Hannah's mouth:
And she made a vow, saying, "O Lord Almighty, if you will only look upon your servant's misery and remember me, and not forget your servant but give her a SON, then I will give him to the Lord for all the days of his life..."

Saturday night the verse that jumped out to me was 1 Samuel 1:20: So in the course of time Hannah conceived and gave birth to a son. She named him Samuel, saying, "Because I asked the Lord for him."

There was no question what his name should be. I felt very strongly and so did Ryan that his name should be Samuel Lee (Lee is his birth mom's middle name).

In Hebrew the meaning of the name Samuel is: asked of God; heard by God.

We prayed. We wept. We hurt. We questioned. We doubted.

Verse 27 says: "I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him."

We asked. God heard.

Miracles...

The miracles continued into the next day... (Read Monday and Tuesday's posting)

Ryan and Stacy returned to the hospital and were allowed to feed the baby, change him and sit in the nursery throughout the day.

They kept us updated by phone:

"Everything is going great. The little guy sleeps well and takes to the bottle just fine. This all seems like a dream."

"The birthmom said we could give the baby a name"!!

Ryan and Stacy returned to the hospital on Monday:

"The baby is getting circumcised today and we are filling out papers for his release."

"The birthmom returned with a gift for the baby...a blanket that was hand-made by her grandmother. She signed the necessary papers to allow us to take him HOME!"

"A friend stopped by with a car seat. He was certified to install it, so he put it in our car and we now have a baby car seat in the back seat of our car...can you believe it?!"

At 3:30, Ryan and Stacy left the hospital...with a baby. In 48 hours, their lives were changed forever. Do you believe in miracles?

Living a miracle

There are no words this morning that can express the emotion in my heart. Ryan and I are living a miracle friends.

Barb or I will post again soon with more of this amazing story, but for now...a precious picture of this sweet gift from God.

Do You Believe In Miracles?

My husband and I were in Nevada this past week. On Saturday morning, about 9:00 his cell phone rang. It was our son, Ryan, calling from Minneapolis.

"Please pray for Stacy and me. We have been out picking up trash in Northeast Mpls for a community project. It is 11:00am in Mpls and we just received a phone call from a friend who knows of a 19 year old girl who delivered a baby boy yesterday. She is looking for someone to adopt him, and we are going to meet her at 1:30 this afternoon. She wants to meet us and perhaps consider us to be the baby's parents!"

That was the essence of our conversation. Stacy called about 1:00 Mpls time as they were driving to the hospital.

"Please keep praying. We don't know what will really happen at 1:30, but just pray that we have wisdom and empathy for this mom we are meeting."

My husband and I were fit to be tied. We only had 2 short conversations, and we spent the rest of the time in prayer. I lost track of time, but about 2 hours later, we got a third phone call.

"The birth mom signed a release for Stacy and me to handle the decisions about this new baby boy. We both have hospital bracelets on, identifying us as the baby's care-giver and Stacy is feeding the baby right now. The birth mom signed the papers and she went home!"

Less than a month ago, Stacy and Ryan experienced their second miscarriage and our family has been struggling to know how to make sense of it...and then we got the phone call. This is the most fun posting I will ever write because it is nothing short of a miracle. The miracle continues, come back tomorrow to read more...

From Hawaii....to this?!

Currently my dryer is not working (unless I don't mind the greasy black marks it leaves on clothing) so I'm putting my clothesline to good use.

I don't mind it really....although it does take a lot longer to hang clothes on the line rather than toss them in the dryer. And I wonder how moms with a bundle of kids at their feet could possibly find time to hang clothing for their entire family (many moms do that!).

As I was hanging my clothes this week I got to thinking: this is a far cry from my relaxing days on the beach last week.

But there is actually something soothing about hanging clothes out to dry. It brings me a sense of peace. I can't really explain it.

Would I love a new dryer? Absolutely.

I'll get one before our Minnesota winter really sets in.

Until then, I'm hanging my clothes, reminding myself to be thankful for the privilege of caring for my home.

For Home Improvement this weekend stop yourself just once, in the midst of caring for your home....and be thankful.

Chloe update

Thank you for your prayers!

Chloe's health has improved! The doctors said her second set of x-rays looked great - no more bowel issues and no surgery needed. What an ANSWER to prayer.

She is still having eating challenges - gagging and vomiting up her food so please continue to pray for that. She has gained 2 oz due to an IV but she needs to learn how to eat on her own. As soon as she can eat regularly, and she starts gaining more weight, she can go home.

My friends have waited so long to be parents - pray with me that they can go home soon to begin parenting Chloe at home and celebrating her life!

Baby Chloe

Hi friends,
It isn't often that I post a prayer request (in fact, I'm not sure I ever have) but tonight's the exception. I just returned home from the local Children's Hospital and Baby Chloe needs some prayer!

My dear friend Jeri Anne and I have both had a long journey to motherhood and have become close friends during the past two years. Many of you may have read the Mother's Day letter I wrote to Jeri Anne in May to honor her love and care of foster children.

Yesterday at 1:11 p.m. Jeri Anne got to hold her baby girl, Chloe Johannah, after she was delivered by an amazing 16-year-old girl named Elsa.

Chloe is precious, beautiful and an absolute miracle from God! Her names means blossom of God's grace.

However, it was discovered today that Chloe is having eating problems and has some possible obstruction in her bowel. She was airlifted to the Children's Hospital where she is currently. We will find out in the morning if she needs surgery for her bowel.

We are PRAISING GOD for the life of this sweet baby girl, and the miracle she is to Jeri Anne and her family. We are also PETITIONING God for her healing and a quick recovery.

Please pray with me dear friends and readers for Chloe's health, protection and for God to work miraculously in this situation. Pray that Jeri Anne and her husband can rejoice in the miracle of Chloe's birth and take her home very soon.

Thank you!

Home is where.....

The cat is?

See that lump on the edge of my bed?

That's Jersey.

She is my four-legged, furry cat.

You see yesterday I didn't get out of bed until noon. I slept in after our long two days of travel and then I spent time reading, writing, and listening to my ipod.

During the couple hours I spent awake in bed, I found great comfort in Jersey's presence.

First she settled on my lap for awhile and then she crawled under the covers where she purred and kept me warm.

To be honest, I was very nervous about coming home yesterday. I was worried about the emotions and anxieties that would greet me as I walked through the door. I was fearful that the feelings I had left in MN 10 days before would come flooding back.

But instead walking through the door, seeing my sweet Jersey meowing like crazy, sitting in my comfortable furniture, sleeping in my bed...it was all very soothing to my heart.

At home I can be me. I can laugh. I can sing. I can be sad. I can cry. I can sleep until noon or wake at dawn.

Being a Homemaker isn't an easy job. Creating homes of comfort, rest, peace, nourishment, growth, encouragement...it can be quite overwhelming at times.

But this week I'm reminded: it's so worth it.

"Home is the one place in all this world where hearts are sure of each other. It is the place of confidence. It is the place where we tear off that mask of guarded and suspicious coldness which the world forces us to wear in self-defense, and where we pour out the unreserved communications of full and confiding hearts. It is the spot where expressions of tenderness gush out without any sensation of awkwardness and without any dread of ridicule." ~Frederick W. Robertson

Home

Welcome home to me.

I just returned last night from a 10-day trip to Hawaii. It was fantastic - relaxing, refreshing and so beautiful.

But as much as I enjoyed the escape from reality, and sights soothing to my soul, I could not wait to get home.

The amazing thing is that 2235 Stinson has only been my home for two months. Two crazy, busy remodeling months.

In fact, here is what my extra bedroom looks like:















Still lots of boxes to unpack and things to organize. Still painting to do, walls to fix and projects to complete.

But it's home.

My home.

And already, after just 60 days, I love it.

Isn't home good?

Home Improvement...Start Organizing

My favorite organizing books:

Simplify your life by Marcia Ramsland
Simplify your time by Marcia Ramsland
Organizing your home and Family by Sandra Felton
Organizing Plain and Simple by Donna Smallin
Two other authors whose books I have read are Emilie Barnes and Kathy Peel


I know that usually on Fridays Barb or Stacy give a directive of some sort. I guess my hope for you this week is that I have inspired you in some small way to see the benefit of being organized.

I have only scratched the surface so I hope you will take some time to check one of these books out of the library and start putting some of these ideas into practice so that you can become the effective, organized homemaker God had designed you to be. Thank you so much for sharing these few days with me. Betsy

Practical Organizing by Betsy

Today I would like to share some practical organizing tips/systems for everyday activities.

1. My grocery list. I have made a master list of basic sections of my grocery store and mass-produced them. I have attached them to a large sheet magnet and have it hanging on the side of our refrigerator. When an item is getting low or someone in the family uses something up, we add it to the list in the appropriate section That way we always know when we need something and everyone is involved in the process.
It also makes grocery shopping easier since everything is listed by the general layout of the store.

2. Meal planning. Above my grocery list is a blank calendar that is also attached to a large magnetic sheet. I write down our basic schedules on this to show which nights we are planning on being at home. I then write in pencil the meals I plan to make within the next week or two. This allows my family to know what I am planning and it is a central location to plan my grocery list as well.

3. Leftovers. After dinner I place individual meals into small glass containers to place in the freezer. This way my husband can just grab a complete meal from the freezer to take for lunch. He doesn’t have to try to put the meal together by going to each pan that the meal originated from.

4. Place a load of laundry in the washer right away in the morning, even before breakfast if possible. Then by the time you have eaten, showered and are ready for the day you can place that load in the dryer. You will have one load of clothes done before your day starts. I also try to fold laundry and iron clothes while making phone calls. They are both easy tasks to do while on the phone.

I apologize that my tips today revolved around the kitchen organization more than anything else. Four days is really not enough time to share all that I could share. Tomorrow I hope you will join me for my list of favorite organizing books/authors. I hope to pass along information where you can get into organizing on a deeper level than I have been able to do in these few days.--Betsy

Organizing...My Favorites!

Today I would like to share a few of my favorite overall tips on how I stay organized on a daily basis. I think the most important tip I can pass along to you is maintenance.

Being organized is not a destination to reach but a process to maintain. Being organized is a daily decision that requires discipline. That sounds a bit more harsh than I would like it to be, but I mean for this to be encouraging. All it really takes is a little bit each day to keep the organizing going and the good thing is there is no one way to do things. I think that is why I am constantly reading new organizing books and asking others how they do things. I have changed a lot of my systems throughout the years as well as realized that a few of them are pretty tried and true and seem to work the best for me. I hope that today you can maybe try one of these tips and it will encourage you to find your own system to begin maintaining an organized home.

1. If it takes less then 30 seconds to do something, do it now not later. You would be surprised at how many things take 30 seconds or less to do. Our mind plays tricks on us. Try it. The next time you are passing through a room and set something down instead of putting it away, stop, put it away and see how long it took you. It is amazing how quickly your house is cleaned up just by taking 30 seconds to put something back where it belongs. When we leave things undone it clutters our minds as well as our home.

2. Leave a room better than when you entered it. This is coupled with take a look around the room before you leave to make sure that things are put away or picked up. Again, organizing is not hard; it is just about making small choices all day long that add up to a clean and organized home. If your home currently has quite a bit of clutter, start the 2-minute clean-up before you leave the room. Start small and keep at it, it will come.

3. Make your bed every morning! This is a hard one for those who are not naturally organized, but there is something psychological about walking into a room and seeing the bed made. It gives the appearance of a room being cleaner than it actually is. And most beds just require you to pull up the comforter and throw on the pillows-there is that 30 seconds or less tip again. Try it!

4. Clean your dishes as you are cooking. As you get finished with one dish, rinse and put in the dishwasher right away. Then at the end of the meal you only have the dinner dishes to add and you do not have a pile of dishes staring you in the face. Try to empty the dishwasher before bed each night so you can wake up to an empty dishwasher where you can load the breakfast dishes quickly in the morning.

5. Find a home for everything or get rid of it. You should have a place for your keys, your mail, your child’s school work. . .if everything has a home you will know where to find it. If you do not have a home for it then you probably don’t need it.

Again I feel like I am only scratching the surface, but these few tips are ones that I have been able to stick with through the years and help me maintain an organized home.

Please join me tomorrow when I will share a few practical ways I stay organized. i.e. grocery lists, calendars. . .Posting by Betsy!

Organization 101!

It is my pleasure to be sharing with you a passion of mine, organizing. I will admit that I am blessed with good genes, if there is such a thing, when it comes to being organized. My grandmother loved to clean and organize a closet just for the fun of it as well as my mother, so I will admit I do have a little bit of an advantage in this area, but I also am a firm believer in that anyone can learn how to be organized.

I think being an organized person is often viewed as not a very good thing. We get labeled inflexible, rigid, stuffy, dare I say anal. I guess I would like to put those lies to rest once and for all. I think being organized overwhelms unorganized people at times.
I hope to share with you in the next few days how being organized can actually help you be an effective homemaker without being as overwhelming as you may think.

I would like to start with the benefits of taking the time/making the choice to be organized. Let’s call it what it is, a choice. Just like everything else in our life, exercise, eating right. . . it’s a choice. I think if we look at it in those terms it becomes something that we are able to accomplish, we just may need a few ideas to get us going in the right direction (more to come on that in the next few days).

I think the main benefit is it allows me to maintain the harmony in my home. I know you have probably heard that the woman is the thermostat in the home and taking the time to be organized helps me maintain a comfortable environment for my family. I am able to help them find what they need, be prepared for their day(s), and have our home be a place of rest for them to come home to.

Another benefit of being organized is that I can pass that down to my children. As I stated before I believe being organized can be taught and what better time to do that than when they are young and want to learn from you! I believe I learned my love for organizing from my mom when I was young. My mother loved taking care of her home and I “caught” that love from her. I want my children to learn that being organized is a fun thing that just makes life better. If they take the time to put their toys away after they play with them they are learning to value what they have as well and the knowledge that the next time they want to play with it, it will be where they put it (with all the pieces in the same place as well).

I feel we are living in such a fast paced world that being organized is almost essential to our well-being. It is so easy to get overwhelmed when we can’t find something or when we come home after a long day to find the house is a mess. I believe it drains us of energy - energy that we need to get through each day with the joy and excitement that God wants us to show others. We are then not only overwhelmed with life, we are overwhelmed that we are living in such clutter. That does not lead us to be very effective homemakers.

Please join me tomorrow when I will share a few of my favorite tips on how I stay organized on a daily basis. --BETSY

Meet Betsy... Our Guest Blogger!

The next 3 days you will have the pleasure of hearing from Betsy! She is a friend to many and an inspiration to all. Her home is her castle and there hasn't been a time when I have visited her that all my senses aren't working overtime to take in all her creativity and efficiency.

She isn't afraid to take on a task with vigor and enthusiasm. After she and her husband bought their home, she painted the entire inside of her home, including the trim...all by herself. She cooks up fun delights for her 2 young daughters and makes an effort each day to celebrate something.

Betsy lives very intentionally and what she has accomplished as a homemaker and a young mom shows that it pays off. As a former kindergarten teacher, she knows the value of 'systems' and 'follow-thru'.

Today is the first day of fall. Did your mom tackle fall cleaning at your home? Do you have a plan for organizing your kids' toys, closets and back-to-school items? Do you have a fall/winter cookbook you reach for when the weather turns cool? Betsy will get you excited to turn your mind towards your home and think about new ways of serving your family...with a smile. Come back tomorrow and enjoy!

Home Improvement...911

All of us will experience tough times in our lives. Are you ready when your world is rocked or you need to comfort a friend?

Whether I am searching for something to share with a friend who is grieving or I am needing to speak to my own soul, I need to be prepared.

This weekend, give some thought to how ready you are to walk along side a friend who is hurting.

1. Find Bible verses that bring comfort to you and mark them in your Bible so you can refer to them when needed. Ps 91:1 (911!) is a favorite of mine and how appropriate it was for me to call upon that verse this week: "He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, 'He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I will trust.'"

2. Buy a few select books that you can share with others and re-read in times of sorrow. These are a few books I referred to this week:
Holding on to Hope by Nancy Guthrie
A Grace Disguised by Gerald Sittser
A Grief Observed by C.S.Lewis
Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl

3. Gather favorite quotes that bring healing to yourself and others that you can email or send in a card when your own words fail you.

4. Have a few meaningful cards on hand so you are without excuse when the time comes to send one off to a dear friend.

5. Find a recipe or two that is easy to make and take to a friend. If you know what you can make before you offer, you will be more generous in reaching out to others in their time of need.

Please share your ideas, books, recipes or quotes that you gather for this Home Improvement weekend. It is during the times of calm that we need to prepare ourselves for the storms that come our way.

A bucket full of sadness

Some people hide their pain. When they've experienced a loss they shut down, hold the hurt inside and try to make it through the day believing in time it will hurt less.

Some people are very private and only share their pain with a select few people with whom they deeply trust.

I, on the other hand, am not necessarily a private person. And when I experience pain and heartache, I need to tell others. I need their prayers. I do not want to walk the road of loss alone.

Here is the quote I tried to reference Tuesday about tears. It explains what is on my heart about others grieving alongside us. This is the quote word-for-word from the author:

So many people are afraid to bring it up. They don’t want to upset me. But my tears are the only way I have to release the deep sorrow I feel. I tell people: “Don’t worry about crying in front of me or be afraid that you will make me cry! Your tears tell me you care, and my tears tell you what you’ve touched me in a place that is meaningful to me- and I will never forget your willingness to share my grief.”

In fact, it is those who shed their tears with me that show me we are not alone. It often feels like we are carrying this enormous load of sorrow, and when others shed their tears with me, it is like they are taking a bucket full of sadness and carrying it for me. It is, perhaps, the most meaningful thing anyone can do for me.

Loss is a part of life and as women we have no choice but to learn how to deal with it. If you feel awkward about another's loss, my advice is simple: get over it. It's not about you anyway.

Here's one last quote that's a gentle reminder about our role in times such as these: "It's not so much what you say to someone grieving, but who you are for that person in his or her crisis."

Do you know who you are when crisis hits? Don't wait another day to find out.

Tough Times Require Good Friends

When I had undiagnosed pneumonia and was sicker than a dog, my sister dropped off a fresh pot of turkey noodle soup for my family.

When my father was dying from cancer... his faithful friend, Don came every week just to sit by his bedside.

When I was taking care of my ailing mother month after month...a young mom and her 2 young daughters, seeing my exhaustion, surprised me by delivering a full meal to my family.

When I was frantic when my husband made a big career change...and a friend sent a note of encouragement.

Gerald Sittser makes a good point in his book, A Grace Disguised; "Loss is loss, whatever the circumstances. All losses are bad, only bad in different ways...what value is there to quantifying and comparing losses?"

Loss of health
Loss of mobility
Loss of job
Loss of loved ones
Loss of home

I used to think that there was a hierarchy in suffering and loss. Some situations required more consolation and other situations required less. A phone call was ok for one loss while a visit was mandatory for a loss that was greater. While there may be something to that, life has taught me that loss is loss and my friends have made a difference in my life at all different levels of loss.

Friends have taught me to:
1. Be myself...reach out to others in a way that fits me and my friend.
2. Do something...a call, a card, a hug, a visit. I have learned to acknowledge loss with my friends.
3. Be observant...know when to go home, when to help out with housework, when to send another note.
4. Pray...really pray, don't just say I am going to!

Life may be hard, but having good friends walk along side me has made the journey abit easier.

Rejoice with those who rejoice

Mourn with those who mourn....

I have always loved that verse and I strive to live it out. When we found out we were expecting in the middle of August, my husband said, "Now is the time to rejoice." Initially I was hesitant and cautious, fearing what could happen, but my husband was adamant we celebrate our miracle of life.

So we did. We went out to breakfast, out to dinner, planned, dreamed and shared our excitement. We got baby books and looked up things online about the size of our baby each week. We told our families and a few friends.

And last Thursday when we learned our baby had died, we have experienced the second half of that verse lived out for us. Family, friends and co-workers have mourned alongside us with prayers, calls, flowers, food, cards, and e-mails.

Often people say I don't know what to say...and that's ok because we don't know what to say either. It's ok to say you don't know what to say. It's not ok to say nothing at all.

An insightful comment by author Nancy Guthrie says that she learned through her grief not to be ashamed of tears. The tears of others made her realize her pain had touched them deeply. If something they said led her to tears that meant their words touched her deeply. Either way, tears show care and concern and genuine empathy.

I read an article by Jill Briscoe one time that talked about the ministry of presence. She said it is good to send gifts and Bibles and study materials to people living in other countries, but it is another thing to offer the ministry of presence.

I have appreciated the prayers of many and the practical gifts like food and unpacking and doing things around my home.

But it is the ministry of presence that touches me so dearly. I am so thankful for those who have offered the ministry of presence in my life during the last week.

When someone is grieving, the ministry of presence allows them to talk, process, ask the hard questions and sometimes to laugh. We still need laughter in the midst of our pain.

This ministry of presence is so powerful. And this week God has taught me through the hands and feet and presence of others.

"Blessed Are Those Who Mourn"

The alarm went off at 4:10AM this morning. My body jumped out of bed before my mind knew where I was going.

Then I remembered. It was Monday, the day Stacy was scheduled for surgery. It was still dark when I met them and we quietly and prayerfully drove to the hospital.

What do you say to someone in the midst of grief? How was I to handle my own grief and yet be strong for them? Experience with grief doesn't make it any easier. Everyone deals with loss and pain differently.

Over the weekend I re-read a favorite book, A Grace Disguised, by Gerald Sittser. What insight this author has as a result of a personal tragedy:

"Depth of sorrow is the sign of a healthy soul, not a sick soul...It is not something to escape but something to embrace. Jesus said, 'Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.' Sorrow indicates that people who have suffered loss are living authentically in a world of misery, and it espresses the emotional anguish of people who feel pain for themselves and others. Sorrow is noble and gracious. It enlarges the soul until the soul is capable of mourning and rejoicing simultaneously, of feeling the world's pain and hoping for the world's healing at the same time. However painful, sorrow is good for the soul."

I held on to that thought all day today. I wasn't quick to turn from the sorrow our family felt.

My prayer is that as my soul enlarges as I embrace the sorrow, I will be better able to comfort others who mourn.

Home Improvement...Do a Hard Thing

Wow, when we started this week, we were focusing on CHOOSING to do a hard thing, not having it forced on us. There is a difference.

Yesterday was indeed a reminder of all the hard things we all endure during our lifetime.

911 will forever be etched in everyone's minds.

9/11/08 will be etched in my family's mind as the day we found out that Stacy and Ryan's baby did not have a heartbeat; that the yolk-sac had collapsed; that they would miscarry and not carry their baby to full turn...after a long 2 year struggle to get pregnant.

A very hard thing.

I guess the best challenge for Home Improvement this weekend, whether it is to encourage myself or others to Do a Hard Thing...chosen or forced upon us, is to Do the Next Thing. That was the advice given to Elizabeth Elliot after her missionary husband had been murdered by the very people he was trying to help. She couldn't move past her grief. She couldn't focus or function...and a wise woman advised her to "to do the next thing". Upon hearing that advice, Elizabeth got up and changed her young daughter's diaper.

Nothing heroic, nothing profound, but it was putting one foot ahead of the other that got Elizabeth moving again.

If you have chosen to 'Do a Hard Thing' this week or have been Given a Hard Thing that seems too hard to take on, make this weekend a time to just do the NEXT thing.

I didn't know

When I started this week and wrote about choosing to do hard things in life, I didn’t know.

When I wrote about struggles and challenges and difficult things we face in life, and doing the hard thing in spite of them, I didn’t know.

When I quoted the Do Hard Things book that says doing hard things causes you to grow, I didn’t know.

I didn’t know that this week I would cry buckets of tears.

I didn’t know that this week I would be waking up and wanting to go back to bed because it felt like a nightmare come to life.

I didn’t know this week I would have to Do really Hard Things.

I didn’t know this week, for the second time in my three-year journey to motherhood, I would miscarry my baby.

I didn’t know this week my hard thing to do would be telling two sets of loving parents they lost a grandbaby – again.

I didn’t know this week the hard thing to do would be to love my husband when I just want to lash out in hurt, anger and frustration.

I didn’t know this week the hard thing to do would be trusting a God whose ways I cannot comprehend or understand.

I didn't know this week the hard thing to do would be making recovery plans for tomorrow and the next day and the next, instead of making celebration plans.

I didn’t know. But now I do. And I don’t want to do any of these hard things.

Do Hard Things

We've all done hard things in life. Is it the exception for you or the rule to do hard things?

It was a hard thing for me to re-evaluate a friendship I had and realize it wasn't a healthy relationship.

It was a hard thing for me to go back to school when the kids were young so I could work along side my husband.

It was a hard thing for me enter a 50 mile bike race when I turned 50!

It is a hard thing for me, as a Mentor Mom, to talk to a room of young moms.

But it would be a much harder thing if I had NOT chosen to do the hard thing. Each one of these hard things has taught me much.

Doing hard things means taking a risk. There is usually a big unknown associated with doing a hard thing and fear usually is its companion. Fear makes me want to find a reason not to do the hard thing if at all possible.

I have found that fear and faith are not necessarily antithetical.

I wonder if that is why when God speaks in the Bible, the words "Do not be afraid" or "Fear not" are His opening words? Doing a hard thing is a constant battle between faith and fear for me, but I have found that when I move forward on faith, I always am better because of it.

I like to imagine what Esther told herself as she entered the king's court. Her life was on the line when she approached him. It was a hard thing she had to do as a woman and as a representative of her people. Her faith had to remain strong as she fought off the fear.

Strong women do hard things. Wise women feel the fear, but choose to move ahead on faith.

Doing Hard Things

Barb and I recently came across a book titled: Do Hard Things by Alex and Brett Harris (two 19-year-old). They challenge teenagers to rebel against low expectations. You can check out their web site here: http://www.therebelution.com/dohardthings/

Here's an excerpt from their blog:

Our battle cry is just three words, but it's an explosive concept: Do Hard Things. That's it. And "do hard things" is a mentality. It's a mentality that flies right in the face of low expectations. The world says, "You're young, have fun!" It tells us to "obey your thirst" and "just do it." Or it tells us, "You're great! You don't need to exert yourself." But those kinds of mindsets sabotage character and competence.

Do Hard Things is just the opposite. It's how we build character and competence. It won't drop to meet the low expectations, it won't just do what comes easily, and it won't become complacent. It applies no matter who you are or what level you're on, because there's always something harder to do, something that will take you outside your comfort zone and cause you to grow.

As a Homemaker, and long past my teenage years, I'm challenged by the words Do Hard Things.

As marriages around me struggle, I'm challenged to do the hard thing: work through my marriage issues and conflicts because I'm committed to my spouse.

As people acquire mountains of debt and declare bankruptcy, I'm challenged to do the hard thing: be responsible, pay our bills, deal with the consequences of debt and live within our means.

As people walk out on relationships that are too tough to face, I'm challenged to communicate, forgive, ask questions, strive to understand, and love without measure.

As the media and the culture around us saturates our minds with instant gratification, I'm challenged to wait on God, pursue His best for my life, my family, my future.

I applaud Alex and Brett Harris for having the insight and maturity to encourage others to Do the Hard Things in life. As women striving to be wise, every day we are faced with opportunities to do things the easy way or the hard way.

As we explore this topic more in the coming days, I hope you'll share your thoughts and how you experience the joys and challenges of Doing Hard Things as a woman of God, Wife, Mother, Business woman or Homemaker.

Home Improvement...What's in a banana?

Have you ever second guessed what you were going to find when you peeled a banana? Ever feared you were going to find broccoli or cauliflower? Were you expecting strawberries when you peeled back that banana skin?

I think a banana is the best reminder for me when I think of integrity and living 'below the water line'...being a woman who is consistent to the core. We have talked this week about being strong women and living out our lives to match our beliefs and convictions. To be the same person inside as we project to others on the outside.

This takes alot of introspection and discipline so we can weed out what we may be thinking or doing in private so it matches what we want people to see through our actions.

Make this Home Improvement time, a time to peel back your actions and your image and see what you really find underneath:

Do you have a written purpose for your life?

Can you write out your priorities quickly...knowing what you need to focus on daily?

Could you share 3 major principles that guide your life...and are you living by those principles?

Grab a banana this weekend and as you relish the sweet fruit you find inside, consider what others would find within you when they get to know you. Do what it takes to make your inside as appealing and sweet as your image appears!

Walk the talk

If you've been watching the Republican National Convention, I'm sure you've seen and heard about the protests taking place daily. I have no problem with peaceful protests. It's our right given to us by the First Amendment to do so.

But I struggle with:

300 local arrests.

Conspiracy to riot.

Taunting, swearing and spitting.

Peaceful demonstrators get overlooked when those who have other purposes follow through on actions that are not in line with what they say they believe.

Barb has often talked in Homemakers about consistency. What we say our values are must be lived out "below the water line."

Every time I see a news report about the not-so-peaceful protesting, I struggle with actions that are clearly not representing beliefs.

The world is watching us ladies. We can say all we want about what we value, what our priorities are and what we believe.

But it's our actions that make the greatest impact. Be it the President, Vice President or the protesters, consistency is key.

Strong Women

We talk religion in this blog...we might as well add politics and get real dicey!

I know that I am called to love God and my neighbor. That means I have to pay close attention to the neighborhood in which I live. I need to pay attention to the world around me. If I do not understand my environment, I will have a difficult time ministering to it. Therefore, I need to be educated in all areas of life. I need to stretch myself to understand music, literature, government, economics, and social issues in addition to prayer, Bible study, and evangelism.

When I heard that Sarah Palin was on the ticket as the Vice President candidate, it did energize me to follow more closely. How will she be able to withstand the onslaught of media and be able to take in all the information needed to lead a country? She must be a woman who has positioned herself to make the most of her days. She must be a woman who knows her purpose and is very intentional in seeking out what that means to her on a daily basis.

I read an interesting article by Ms. Laura Ingraham, talk show host. In it she said “Sarah Palin isn’t someone who just talks about life and defending life, this is a woman who lives that belief and that principle. She has demonstrated her commitment to the most defenseless among us, both politically and personally. And there’s no bigger threat to this country than a woman who is strong and knows her convictions.” (bold text added by me)

America needs women who are strong and knows what they believe. I am going to be praying for our nation in the next few months. I am going to be praying that the women of this country live out our beliefs and principles. Join me.

It's our duties ladies

My husband is a political junkie. He LOVES politics and he is thoroughly enjoying the political conversation taking place these days.

And, to top it off, the Republican National Convention is taking place in Minneapolis this week, so he's definitely getting his fill.

I, on the other hand, have a difficult time watching, reading and listening to political commentary.

But with the recent announcement of Sarah Palin as the Republican Vice Presidential candidate, I've become intrigued.

I've been listening to supporters and critics comment on Palin and I've been wondering....what would it be like to be the Vice President as a mother of 5? How does one even begin to balance roles like being a wife, mother and homemaker while supporting the President of the United States (if she were to win)?

What do I think of a woman with young children at home, running for such a highly-demanding and stressful position? Do I think it's awesome that a woman could potentially make history as the first female Vice President? Of course.

But what do I think of Palin's background? Does she have enough experience? Would she and McCain make a good team? Where does she stand on the issues that are important to me?

The only way to decide what I think is to educate myself.

Currently the single television in my household is broken (it suffered an untimely death when my husband was out of the country last week and days before the RNC began!).

So I am choosing to educate myself through the newspaper, online news sites, and the radio.

Politics are not my first choice of things to read or listen to. But as a wise woman I am held accountable for how I spend my time, my energy, my resources. And as a voting member of society it is my duty to become educated in the months ahead.

Happy Labor Day!

Did you know that we Americans put in more hours on the job each week than anyone?

Enjoy your day of fun!