Commandment #4: Take a day off

I've been reading books on simplicity. I've been listening to sermons online. I've been doing some research. Everything I'm reading and hearing says that we need to rest.

Whether you are 'religious' or not, you've probably heard that the fourth commandment says to Honor the Sabbath. Pastor and author Andy Stanley paraphrases this commandment as "Thou Shalt Take a Day Off."

Take a day off? WHAT? With work, to-do lists, loads of responsibility, cooking, cleaning, errands, kids, etc, etc, how exactly can one afford to take a day off? And what exactly does a 'Sabbath' look like in 2008?

For starters, we can't afford to not take a day off. We need rest to be the kind of homemakers God is calling us to be. To have the energy, the right attitude and to be in our best health for the other six days of the week, we need to rest and rejuvenate physically and mentally.

In case you're not quite sold on the idea of resting for a day.....a good friend of mine said that he was recently challenged when someone said to him: who are you to think that you don't need to obey a commandment set by the God of the universe? Are you so busy, so committed, so over-scheduled that you're telling the Lord you are going to disobey this command?

Hard to argue with that logic, huh?

While Sabbath may seem like a foreign word, I think we all understand the concept of resting and relaxing.

Here are some 'take a day off' ideas:

• Have fun with your family.
• Make a craft (alone, with your spouse or with your kids).
  
• Goof off.
• Read a book.
  
• Take a bubble bath.
• Go on a picnic or a bike ride or take a walk.
  
• Watch a movie together.
• Have conversations with your spouse, family members or kids. Really communicate.
  
• Just don't work.
  

Can you imagine having 24 hours of fun and rest to look forward to each week? You can talk about it with your kids and anticipate it with your spouse. But know that 24 hours of rest will not just happen for you and your family. You need to be intentional about scheduling and planning for this. It can be a Saturday or a Sunday or whatever day works best for you. But I challenge you, as I have been challenged, to take a 24-hour period once every 7 days for the next month and see if it doesn't change your life.

Andy Stanley asks us if we trust God enough that He will provide for us (whether that's money, time, or energy) if we work hard six days and take a day to rest and celebrate. Joanne Heim, author of Living Simply, suggests we should look at it as a guilt-free vacation day each week.

Ladies remember that this too is counter-cultural. We don't live in a society that values rest and relaxation on a weekly basis. If you are going to apply this principle in your life, it's not going to be easy. You're going to have to plan ahead. You're going to have to say no to some enticing activities that are outside the family. But when you honor God with this commandment, you will be blessed, your family will be blessed and you'll be taking another step toward living a life of simplicity.

"May the Sabbath be an oasis of peace, calm and rest in the middle of your life." - Living Simply

Voluntary Simplicity

Another book I've been reading is called 'Tis a Gift to be Simple: Embracing the Freedom of Living with Less. It was written in the early 90s, and so much of what the authors wrote applies even more to our lives today.

Did you notice the word freedom in the title? There is freedom in living simply. Freedom in having less, buying less, doing less, working less, worrying less. Freedom to play more, laugh more, love more, relax more, enjoy your life more.

The authors write about voluntary simplicity: the idea that one can intentionally live less extravagantly and purposely live more simply. "Voluntary simplicity does not mean we all have to sell our homes. It doesn't even mean we can't have nice things. It may mean that we can't have all of them."

As woman, wives, moms, sisters, daughters, friends, and homemakers, we can choose to be influenced by the world (which is constantly telling us more, bigger, better) or we can choose to pursue the freedom that comes with living counter-culturally...in our homes, on our calendars, in our checkbooks, in our relationships....and influence those around us.

Tomorrow I want to talk about a day of rest as it relates to simplicity. Now that's counter-cultural!

In the spirit of rest, I'm off to bed!

Stuff

Continuing with the topic of simplicity, today I want to talk about stuff.

Now I love stuff. I love it in all shapes, sizes, colors, and brands. I like the latest stuff. I like the newest stuff. I like the cutest, prettiest, most fun, and most entertaining stuff.

But sometimes I feel as thought I am consumed by stuff. Anyone out there agree with me?

Whether it's stuff for yourself personally (even valuable time-saving kitchen tools), or stuff for your kids (gotta have that toy), we are bombarded with commercials, ads, and billboards that tell us we need more stuff.

Listen to this quote: "We live in a culture that is tying its identity, self-worth and enjoyment in life to stuff. But stuff doesn't bring lasting satisfaction."

Did you know that on average people spend six hours every week shopping for more stuff? And on average parents spend just 45 minutes a week playing with their kids.

Ask yourself this question that was recently posed to me: "We're not defined by stuff when we're born or when we die, so why would we choose to be defined by what we own and what we consume while we are living?"

This has really hit home for me as I've cleaned, organized and gotten my home ready to put on the market. I have an entire closet filled with boxes of....stuff. I have taken at least 5 carloads of stuff to my parents and a friend's home to store for us while our house is on the market. Where did all this stuff come from? Why do I need more?

In Living Simply, Joanne Heim says, "We must take care, when furnishing our homes, to fill them with objects that are useful, beautiful, uplifting and beneficial to our families."

I believe another step toward simplicity is a) getting rid of some of our stuff and b) choosing to live in such a way that our lives are not centered on consuming more stuff.

A simple challenge

As we kick off the month of March, I will be sharing some things I have been reading, hearing and learning....all having to do with the topic of simplicity. Simplicity in our schedules, our finances, our lifestyles, our homes, our relationships, and our sense of well being.

What do you think of when you hear the word 'simplicity'? Does it sounds like a soft sigh of relief? Does it make you think of a breath of fresh air? Do you imagine relaxation and peace?

I imagine that we each define simplicity in different ways. One of the words I would use to define simplicity is freedom. It may be hard to make the connection between simplicity and freedom, but in the coming days you'll begin to understand how simplicity and freedom go hand in hand.

I recently read a book called Living Simply: Choosing Less in a World of More by Joanne Heim. It's written specifically for busy wives and moms who desire contentment, who long for the kind of abundant life Christ talks about, and a better quality of life that is not filled with chaos and consumption.

I think this statement from the book sums up the way many of us are living: "I've found that living a simple life is more than just getting rid of stuff. Stuff is part of it, for sure. But it's also about full calendars, schedules, commitments, activities, and to-do lists. Like Thanksgiving dinner, a lot of it is good - nice things, people we enjoy, and activities we really do want to do. But we're too full - stuffed, in fact - and we feel a little sick knowing we just can't handle all those things our lives are full of."

This is a big topic to address, so today I want to start with one small challenge. Joanne mentions in her book how empty days on our calendars are rare and instead of relaxing and enjoying them, we use them to catch up on everything we've fallen behind on. So our 'empty days' become full and we don't take the time to rest.

My challenge to you is to look at your calendar in the coming week or two and find a day that doesn't have anything scheduled. Mark it off. Write Me Day or Open Day or whatever you need to do to keep from scheduling appointments, outings, etc. Hopefully this day isn't too many weeks down the road. I challenge you to keep it empty. Maybe it will be a day to relax with your family or maybe a day for you to relax on your own. It's not a day to clean, run errands and catch up on life. It's a day to rest, to relax and to have the freedom to do whatever you feel like doing when those 24 hours rolls around.

If you are inspired to take me up on this challenge, comment below with the date you are blocking off on your calendar. I'll pray for you on that date as you take this one small step toward living simply.

Homework...and Humor!

February has been a good month of sharing about relationships. We've looked at alot of different ways of dealing with our husbands, friends and difficult people. I would like to encourage you to briefly review each posting until you come upon one that you feel would make a difference in your life if you implemented the information.

Just take one idea that you haven't focused on in the past and commit to making a relationship in your life just abit better. Just one step closer to loving others as Christ commanded. Loving others doesn't come naturally, we need to keep building good habits.

After finding a posting you are going to act upon...treat yourself, have a good laugh... read on about Mildred...

Aging Mildred was a 93 year-old woman who was particularly despondent over the recent death of her husband Earl.
She decided that she would just kill herself and join him in death. Thinking that it would be best to get it over with quickly, she took out Earl's old Army pistol and made the decision to shoot herself in the heart since it was so badly broken in the first place.
Not wanting to miss the vital organ and become a vegetable and burden to someone, she called her doctor to inquire as to just exactly where the heart would be."On a woman," the doctor said, "your heart would be just below your left breast."
Later that night, Mildred was admitted to the hospital with a gunshot wound to her knee.

HA HA HA! Have a great weekend!

Well worth it...

In Barb's posting yesterday she wrote: "Any relationship worth holding on to takes work."

Amen!

In this season of life when things are busy (when aren't they busy???), it is REALLY hard sometimes to take the extra time and effort to pursue friends.

It would be so easy to get caught up in our daily lives and the people we frequently see and forget about the friends we don't see or talk to regularly.

But I have learned - after some hard lessons - that those friendships are worth holding on to. They may look different, they may have a different feel, and they take work. It takes extra effort to call, e-mail, send a card or get together. It takes planning and persistence because your lives don't intersect regularly.

But those friendships are priceless. Those memories are invaluable. And the work is well worth it.

A Great Questions To Ask Yourself:

In my last posting I shared a statement I heard from Chip Ingram:

"Everyone acts in a way that makes sense to them"

He followed that up with a question:

"What is the most generous explanation behind their behavior?"

Wow, what a great question. When I have had the presence of mind to ask this question, it has allowed me to cut the other person some slack. I don't find myself 'rushing to judgment.' As I try to formulate a 'generous explanation', I put my energy into a positive frame of mind rather than holding on to a critical, unforgiving spirit.

Having shared these 2 great tips with you, I need to share a disclaimer as well. Difficult people, dashed expectations, unmet expectations, marriage, friendships, any relationship that is worth holding on to takes work. I have not mastered the fine art of relationships! Stacy and I have shared some good things that we have talked about together and I know it all works, but it is a constant discipline to put this knowledge into practice.

I have found myself sharing some of these insights this month with a guilty conscience. A little knowlege 'puffs up'. I realize I may have some good knowledge that I have learned along the way, but what good is it if I don't apply it...daily. All that we have shared this month is just a reminder to myself to continue to grow as a friend, a wife and a woman.

How are you doing in this area of building healthy relationships? We can all benefit from a 'little help from our friends'!

Seek first to understand

Habit 5 of Stephen Covey's book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People is "Seek first to understand."

That seems like valuable advice for many relationships, and especially for friendships.

When I think of friendships in my life, there are definitely some friendships where I need to step back and first try to understand. As Barb mentioned, putting yourself in their shoes is a good place to start. Asking for help in understanding where they are coming from can be invaluable.

With my personality I want to offer advice, give solutions, create answers for problems. I immediately decide in my head what’s wrong or what could be different.

That’s not my place. And sometimes it’s not even my business.

So instead I just need to step back and seek to understand by listening, observing and asking questions.

If I am annoyed or disappointed or frustrated, those are the last things I want to do. But if the friendship is important to me, it’s worth first seeking to understand.

Difficult People....

We all have them in our lives. Did someone come to mind when you read the title of today’s blog? How have you handled the difficult people in your life?

I worked with a difficult person for several years. She was very opinionated, very judgmental and very out spoken. She scared me to death! If I tried to be nice to her, she would fault me when I didn’t measure up to her demands. When I ignored her, she bad-mouthed me to others. When I tried to shed a different light on her opinions, she nailed me to the wall with arguments I couldn’t defend.

She was a difficult person for me to get along with. The trouble was that I had to get along with her because she was my co-worker and every day was spent with her. She was older than me and her experience out-weighed any insight I might have on how to do our jobs.

What to do? I stayed out of her way as much as I could. I agreed with her. I acted like I was her cheer-leader, completely sacrificing my better judgment… I didn’t know what else to do. I simply wanted to survive.

Ahhhh, what the years have taught me!

Not really, I had to hear some teaching first that helped me gain perspective. Chip Ingram, an author and teacher, made a statement:

“Everyone ACTS in a way that makes sense to them”

That stopped me in my tracks.

I really never spent time thinking about the perspective of this co-worker. I just reacted and went into survival mode. The truth of this statement became evident to me as I stayed in touch with that person long after I stopped working with her. Our paths crossed and she continued to reach out to me. I learned about her personal life and I saw her in a different light other than just as a co-worker. It took time and patience to try to ‘walk in her shoes’ but it made a difficult situation easier and I learned more about myself and my rush to judgement as I learned more about her.

Who is the difficult person in your life? Try pulling on her/his pair of shoes today and become a student of that person rather than a judge.

Homemakers Homework

This weekend's homework involves recognizing your uniquenesses. Take some time today or this weekend to make a list of the uniquenesses you currently have in life. A uniqueness can pertain to yourself, your marriage, your family, your income, your home or just about anything else. To get you thinking, uniquenesses might include:

• having an unemployed spouse
• not living near any other family members
• having a sick or emotionally-challenged child
• owning your own business
  
• living with your parents or in-laws
  
• having a spouse who travels
• having little finances or unstable finances
• working outside the home
• dealing with a broken family
  
• having your hands full with lots of little ones
• taking care of an elderly parent or grandparent
• being physically impaired.
  
  

This weekend, make a list of the uniquenesses you are dealing with currently in life. Study them, pray through them and ask God to help you view them as uniquenesses rather than burdens or challenges. Ask Him to help you embrace your uniquenesses. You, and your family, will be better off for it!

Have You Identified What Is So UNIQUE About Your Marriage?

Earlier this week we touched on the importance of finding out what was unique about your marriage. Uniquenesses may change over the years, but something will always be there that will keep you and your marriage from becoming 'just like the Jones'. Why? Because you are special and so is your marriage.

Until we, as women, realize how unique we are and what we are capable of handling, we will never be content or reach our full potential.

Women tend to get caught up in the comparison game. We are quick to evaluate whether we are succeeding in an area based on how we stack up to how others are doing in the same area.

We dress according to the latest trends.

We paint our homes the colors that we see in the magazines.

We measure our success according to the reality shows as if they should set the bar for us in building our homes, disciplining our children, dealing with our husbands, finding a spouse.

We think success is when we are 'like everyone else'!

Comparing ourselves with others can easily become a sin by coveting what others have or how they do things. That is where focusing on our uniqueness and working hard to make the most of what we have been given will give us the drive to build our homes with thanksgiving and grace rather than striving and envy.

Many marriages have tough issues to deal with, but if we see those issues as a unique challenge we can begin to build a life around the challenge and move forward.

As women, let's be quick to complement one another as we deal with our issues. Keep unhealthy comparisons out of your marriage. Embrace your uniqueness' and strive to build a marriage that is authentic.

Mrs. Mike

What is one to do when it is freezing cold outside in Minnesota?

Read a book of course!

And Barb and I have just the recommendation for you: Mrs. Mike by Benedict and Nancy Freedman

I found this review and it summarizes the book well:

Mrs. Mike is the love story of Katherine Mary, a young Irish girl from Boston, and Sergeant Mike of the Canadian Mounties, under whose supervision falls all of the great Canadian wilderness. Katherine Mary comes from a world of privilege and comfort. When she moves with her husband to the North Pole region, let's say it took a bit of adjustment. It's a romance, an adventure, a coming-of-age, a tragedy, and a history. Give it to your niece or daughter or granddaughter. Give it to your sister, your friend, your neighbor. I guarantee, they'll all love it.

This classic tale set in the Canadian wilderness, portrays a marriage of uniqueness like no other. Barb and I got it from our local library. I highly recommend you read it...from the perspective of woman, wife, homemaker and mother.

Please share with us if you read it and what you thought!

Unique!

That's a good word to reflect upon when you think of your marriage. I have come to realize the importance of recognizing and accepting the uniqueness of my marriage.

I work with my husband, we office out of the home. It has taken me a long time to adapt to the uniqueness that that brings to our marriage and to my other relationships. How I interacted with friends, dealt with the kids on a daily basis, kept up my home and even my private time were all affected by this uniqueness. I fought it often, wanting to 'be like everyone else'. Wanting my husband to "go off to work". Having some space to call my own.

When I acknowledged the uniqueness of my marriage, I could deal with the challenges. I found I could just as well meet my friends for coffee outside of the home. I learned to parent around the business and my kids grew up aware of their 'dad working' along side them.

What uniqueness has your marriage brought into your life? A traveling husband? A part-time job for you? A spouse with a disability? A child with autism? That is the fabric of your marriage, and it is important to learn to work with that uniqueness in order to make the most of your circumstance.

Identifying your uniqueness will allow you to build an authentic home. Accepting the uniqueness will allow you to become authentic as a woman, wife and mom.

Here's to health!

Usually we talk about health and nutrition and weight loss in January...but it's time for a health update! Last fall I blogged about my husband's cholesterol being too high.

If you recall, my New Year's Resolution was to read labels for the saturated fat content. My resolution paid off! Ryan had his cholesterol re-tested last week and he's now within the normal range! I am very proud of him because he did it all with diet and exercise even though he has a genetic predisposition to high cholesterol.

Why am I sharing with you about his cholesterol level? Because the reality is that your husband's health is often times dependent upon you.

If you do the majority of the grocery shopping and cooking in your home, much of what your husband eats is up to you. When Ryan discovered he had high cholesterol he wasn't the only one affected by this news. I quickly realized I would have to change the food I bought and the way I cooked. Thus my resolution to watch the saturated fat on food labels.

Barb always talks about Healthy Habits - so read your food labels, live long and healthy lives and grow old together!

Homemakers Homework

Well friends...I forgot to blog yesterday. I was so busy celebrating with my husband that I forgot :)

Based on our postings this week, and Barb's quote yesterday, our Homemakers Homework for this weekend is to manage our marriages by either:

A - Having one intentional conversation about the state of your marriage

or

B - Intentionally treating your spouse with kindness through your words or actions

Kindness has not been a fruit of the spirit that I have been exhibiting lately in my marriage. And the results have not been pretty!

Come Sunday night our hope is that you should be able to say 'yes' to having done either A or B.

May you find this homework challenging yet rewarding!

Recipe for a Happy Marriage

Dr Laura Schlessinger says a happy marriage can be defined in 4 words:

“Choose well, Treat kindly”


Enough said?!


PS I can’t write anymore, I need to go make my valentine card

Marriage management

Last week I was watching a television show where one gal, a successful business woman, a mother and wife, was explaining to her friends that she was struggling in her relationship with her husband. She commented to them, "I thought my marriage was the one thing I didn't need to manage."

Immediately her comment struck a cord with me. Where the heck are we learning as women that relationships don't need to be managed? Whoever says that relationships will maintain status quo if just left alone?

Yesterday Barb mentioned the law of disintegration. I am not sure that we truly believe this applies to our marriages. That's why I'll say this quote again: "Marriage is hard, but good marriages are harder." Marriages must be managed not only for maintenance, but also for growth.

Hearing that comment on television last week makes me wonder what false beliefs I might have about my own marriage. What am I believing that is not true? What false perceptions of mine need to be challenged?

This week let's be intentional about managing our relationships - whether that be our marriage, our friendships or any other relationship in our life. How do we do that? Let's start by taking time to talk, to laugh, to check in, to show affection, to offer affirmation. That's as good as any place to start!

Romance....

'Romance is a relationship…built on good habits.' Ever thought of romance in those terms?
I always thought romance was a bouquet of roses and candlelight dinners. No wonder the romance never lasted. The roses faded and the candles burned down, and my relationship didn’t seem to improve.
When I began looking at romance as simply a relationship that had good habits, it gave me the incentive I needed to put some good habits into my marriage.
Greeting my husband kindly; giving him a soft touch of encouragement when I saw that he was discouraged; smiling at him…for no reason; speaking with patience and love. All good stuff that gets lost in the busyness of life. I take my marriage for granted too often and focusing on putting good habits in place has helped me pay attention to what is important.

There is a ‘law of disintegration’ that says that everything goes from ‘order’ to ‘disorder’ if it isn’t maintained. A car will slowly lose its shine and smooth ride if it hasn’t been taken care of. A business needs proper management or it will slip quickly into bankruptcy. A marriage needs proper care and attention, or it will follow the law of disintegration, with the husband and wife drifting apart.

Good habits in a marriage are essential. Habits either ‘join’ or ‘separate’ a couple. Good habits can start with one spouse and those habits often become contagious. So choose today to build good habits in your marriage. Be the one to reach out with a habit that is ‘joining’ you to your husband. Get ready for romance that will last beyond February 14th!

80/20 Rule...Homemaker's Homework!

I read once that a woman will marry a man when she is happy with about 80% of what he is all about. The other 20% she just disregards...until after the wedding. It is after the wedding that she brings out the disgusting 20% and starts to pick away at her husband's shortcomings. The article went on to say that little if any of that 20% will ever change.

OK, ladies, I'm am sharing this info with you in hopes that you drop your EXPECTATION of changing your man. This week we have talked about expectations. Often we are disappointed by others and have dashed expectations or unmet expectations, but what about the expectations we put on others?

Whether you are married or not, use this weekend to focus on what expectations you have of the people in your life.

If you are married, make a list of the 80/20% that you see in your man. Tally up all the good stuff and hang that on the frig up until Valentine's Day. Let him know that list is about him! That you love him and these are just some of the reasons why!

Dwell on the 80% and drop your tendency to change the 20%.

If you are not married, do this exercise with the name of a close friend. It will be good preparation for you when you are married. Dwell on the good stuff. That is what makes for a healthy relationship.

Besides, we all have 20% of our own baggage to work on!

Ask "What", not "Why"

I still remember the first time I had to deal with 'dashed expectations' in my life. Someone close to me did not react in the way I 'expected'. They did not walk along side me like I had 'expected'. I remember being filled with anger and grief. I felt like that person had actually dropped off my radar because I couldn't imagine them in any other role than that of support and understanding.

I struggled with those 'dashed expectations' for months. I wanted that person to say they were sorry. I wanted that person to wake up and see where I was coming from. I wanted things to go back to the way they used to be. But I knew my relationship with this person would never be the same.

I spent time analyzing the relationship. I re-constructed the conversations. I asked 'why', over and over again, trying to make sense of why this relationship was not working.

When answers didn't come I knew I needed to take a different approach. I began asking 'what' instead of 'why'. That made all the difference in the world. Now I could get some answers. Asking 'why' in a situation that I couldn't understand in the first place got me no where. Asking 'what' enabled me to stand back and see what I could have done differently. What I may not have understood. What might restore our relationship. It all helped me put the emphasize on what I could control.

When you deal with unmet expectations, dashed expectations or unrealistic expectations, don't waste time like I did, asking 'why'. Move on and ask 'what' and see if that doesn't bring some clarity and hopefully resolution to a broken relationship.

Unexpected blessings

My husband is traveling this week and was home last night just for the night. He flew out again this morning.

As I was working around the house today the phone rang. It was Ryan telling me his plane had been delayed. Then he called a few hours later to say he had landed in D.C.

I got to thinking about how I never set the expectation to have him call me when he flys out and when he lands. I know he is traveling and I pray throughout the day for his safety.

But since he travels a lot he is trying to be considerate and keep in touch with me.

It made me realize that I have a lot of unrealistic expectations (even after almost 7 years!) but Ryan puts me to shame when he does things that I don't even expect from him. Can you think of just one thing your husband does that you don't expect, but that blesses you?

It's a tough job, but worth the effort, to focus on the unexpected blessings of marriage rather than the unmet expectations.

Unrealistic Expectations...

Expectations...we have talked quite abit about them. Unmet expectations, dashed expectations, and now unrealistic expectations. You would think we would learn over the course of our lives to just relax and let things and people just unfold. But no, if you are like me, we tend to want to micro-manage and put alot of expectations on our husbands and friends.

An interesting quote caught me up short the other day. Psychologist Aaron Beck said the "single belief most toxic to a relationship is the belief that the other person cannot change."

Ummm, chew on that for a moment. That means we have hope in our relationships because we are counting on change to happen. We are expecting that eventually the other person will change and over time things will improve. Without that hope, that expectation, that belief, a relationship dies.

That made me think that expectations may not be too off base if it keeps us moving forward in connecting with others, but I think the real wisdom is in turning our expectation and belief back on ourselves. The belief that we are able to change. The hope that we are willing to change.

Unrealistic expectations of others will only frustrate me. A more inspiring and hopeful expectation would be to realize that change is possible within me and maybe that will make change in others not as urgent!

Just for today, I am going to eliminate one unrealistic expectation I have of myself. I am hopeful that will cause me to change ever so slightly and give people in my life a reason to hope that my relationship with them is worth the effort.

May the change begin with ME.

What did you pledge?

On the cover of this month's Good Housekeeping Magazine is Dr. Phil and his wife Robin. The article featuring the two of them is titled "5 Secrets of Happy Couples." I saw this magazine when I was out and about recently so I glanced through it just to see the suggestions. I am always curious as to what those 5 'secrets' might be.

Number one took me by surprise: Unrealistic Expectations. Go Dr. Phil! He comments about how we tend to have a romanticized view of marriage. Somewhere along the lines we've decided that marriage should be all about love, happiness and passionate kisses. He says if you are in the midst of dealing with the garbage disposal, paying the bills and in-laws -- you are normal!

That's why I love the book Sacred Marriage. Author Gary Thomas makes this statement about marriage: "This is the reality of the human heart, the inevitability of two sinful people pledging to live together, with all their faults, for the rest of their lives."

How does that statement fit with YOUR view of marriage? What did you pledge in your marriage vows?

As we enter into a month that is consumed by romantic love, Barb and I will be here to explore relationships of all kinds and encourage one another to check our expectations at the door.

Homemakers Homework

Homework? Yup! We are going to start offering homemakers homework on Fridays. Something to keep us all living our lives purposefully and intentionally on the weekends.

Today's homework:
All week we've been talking about perfectionism and procrastination. Barb followed that up yesterday with a simple yet powerful reminder to Do The Next Thing. So this weekend I want to challenge you to complete one task on your to-do list that you haven't touched or one project that you have started but haven't completed because...

A) You were waiting for just the right time to do it perfectly

or

B) You've been dreading getting started on it (read procrastination).

If you are willing to commit, leave a comment below letting us know your intentions or comment on Monday with what you accomplished - big or small. My goal is attack ONE box of CDs that needs to be organized. It's not a big task put I've put it off for months.

I'm so glad we're doing this together!

Do The Next Thing

I remembering reading about Elizabeth Elliot and her struggle to move forward after her young husband died, leaving her with an infant to raise by herself. She sought out wisdom from others as to how to handle her inability to get things done. She wasn't able to focus. She was overcome with grief and fear. I read with interest, knowing what she learned would be of great value. It would rich in Biblical truth. It would be life changing.

Actually, the advice that meant the most to her during her dark days was quite simple. If I remember correctly, a wise woman told her the best way to get moving was to just "do the next thing!" Elizabeth went on to explain that her 'next thing' was to change her little daughter's dirty diaper! Not too inspirational. Not really Biblical in content. Not especially life-changing at first glance. But it was words that had great wisdom. She celebrated each time a diaper needed changing because she realized she was moving ahead and over time what she did would pay off. It did, she raised a beautiful daughter!

What wisdom: "Do the next thing"! As Homemakers, may we all tuck that motto in our hearts where we can easily retrive it as we wrestle with perfectionism or procrastination or whatever keeps us from living each day to the fullest.

Stacy made this posting easy for me as she reminded me of this poem:

From an old English parsonage down by the sea
There came in the twilight a message to me;
Its quaint Saxon legend, deeply engraven,
Hath, it seems to me, teaching from Heaven.
And on through the doors the quiet words ring
Like a low inspiration: “DO THE NEXT THING.”

Many a questioning, many a fear,
Many a doubt, hath its quieting here.
Moment by moment, let down from Heaven,
Time, opportunity, and guidance are given.
Fear not tomorrows, child of the King,
Trust them with Jesus, do the next thing.


Do it immediately, do it with prayer;
Do it reliantly, casting all care;
Do it with reverence, tracing His hand
Who placed it before thee with earnest command.
Stayed on Omnipotence, safe 'neath His wing,
Leave all results, do the next thing

Looking for Jesus, ever serener,
Working or suffering, be thy demeanor;
In His dear presence, the rest of His calm,
The light of His countenance be thy psalm,
Strong in His faithfulness, praise and sing.
Then, as He beckons thee, do the next thing.

Author Unknown


Have a blessed day and do the next thing!

Cooking is cooking

On Monday I talked about perfectionism. Today I want to talk about another 'P' word: procrastination.

While I would like to think that I am naturally disciplined, the older I get the more I realize that I am a procrastinator. I need deadlines to bring me to action. Whether that's for writing projects or home projects, I can procrastinate with the best of them.

I noticed this week that if I don't want to work on a writing assignment, I will spend time with the Lord instead. If I don't feel like spending time with the Lord, I will clean the house and do the dishes. If I don't feel like doing the dishes, I will work on a writing project. See the crazy cycle?

I can make excuses with the best of them, that's why I love this quote: "What's a writer? Someone who writes. Planning to write is not writing. Outlining a book is not writing. Researching is not writing. Talking to people about what you're doing, none of that is writing. Writing is writing."
~ E. L. Doctorow

Here's the homemakers version: "What's a cook? Someone who cooks. Planning to cook is not cooking. Making a grocery list is not cooking. Clipping coupons is not cooking. Talking to people about a new recipe, none of that is cooking. Cooking is cooking."

Together let's remind ourselves....cooking is cooking!

I'm imagining Barb has some wise words to share about this topic. I look forward to hearing what they are.

The Missing Piece

I am reminded of the children's story, The Missing Piece by Shel Silverstein everytime I am prone to seek perfection.

The author has the wonderful ability of making a Circle come to life...as it searches for a piece that it's missing. The 'missing piece' makes the Circle roll through town lopsided and uneven. He longs for a replacement part but never finds a piece that quite fits him. His intense search and uneven gait slows him down as he rolls along. He smells the flowers and chats with butterflies, all the while he looks for 'the missing piece'.

The Circle's search comes to an end when he finally finds a piece that is not too big, not too pointy, not too flat, but just perfect! He finally becomes a 'Perfect Circle'! When he puts the missing piece into place, he is able to roll with ease. He no longer has to pause or slow down. He can make his own way...no problem.

It doesn't take long for the Circle to realize that there was a problem, however. He was now capable of going where he wanted to go but didn't take heed of anything along the way. He missed opportunities. He missed the small stuff. He missed alot of life.

Before long, the Circle removed the missing piece and went back to being the imperfect Circle. Being perfect wasn't all that it was cracked up to be. The Circle realized that being whole and being perfect was two different things.

He was whole as an incomplete Circle because he allowed others into his life and relished their imput into his life.

When I think I need to be perfect to impress others I remind myself I would rather be whole than perfect. I would rather have others in my life than to have life all about me.

Maybe I don't remember the story in its entirety, or have come away with it's deepest meaning but it is enough to remind myself that I need to focus on being whole, not perfect. I need to turn to others when I fall short and allow them to encourage me on my way.

It is in the journey that we find the wholeness, not in the perfection of ourselves.

Perfectionism

I have been thinking a lot the past few days about perfectionism. I was scrapbooking this past weekend and I think it is so easy to get caught up in the idea that we need to create perfect scrapbook layouts with perfect pictures that represent our perfect families. Or why scrapbook at all? That mentality can be applied to anything:

• keeping a perfectly clean house
• having a picture-perfect marriage
• being the perfect mom
• cooking perfect, healthy meals every night
• being perfectly consistent in our time with the Lord
• developing a perfect looking body

Not only is this not realistic, it’s not Biblical. Read the following quotes about perfectionism and see if they challenge your thinking:

"What we are seeking is excellence, not perfection. Perfection is for our own self-gratification, excellence is for the glory of God." - Olan Hendrix

Julie Fuimano, Personal & Career Coach, says, "Perfectionism is one of the roots of procrastination."

Michael J. Fox said, "I am careful not to confuse excellence with perfection. Excellence, I can reach for; perfection is God's business."

I have also read that perfection is defined as control. We desire to control the look, the process, the outcome, the end result.

Ladies, this is not how we want to live!

When we strive for perfection we are focused on self and others. Excellence takes the focus off ourselves and off impressing others, and keeps our focus on the Lord and bringing glory to Him alone. As it says above, perfection is God's business.

Together lets strive for excellence in our Homemaking journeys.

Clutter and Kids!

As a young mom, I always said to my kids 'go clean your room'. That was a daunting task for them. Organization was not a buzz word back then. I am not sure if I said, 'go organize your shelves, that that would have inspired my kids to go in and tackle their rooms any differently. Rarely did my kids make any progress when I told them to 'go clean their room'.

With children comes chaos and clutter, but it is the wise mom who gently nudges her kids to start at a young age to take care of themselves. I am talking about 'age appropriate' behavior, but children need to see early on that work and taking care of themselves is a part of life. 'Cleaning a room' is not possible for a toddler, but taking care of their books is possible and it is necessary for them to see the importance of it. That is a baby step in the bigger picture of taking care of themselves.

When I saw housekeeping and organizing as an act of 'taking care of myself', I was able to do a better job on the daily tasks that needed attention. I think kids can relate to that more than a vague sense of 'clean'!

Here's favorite prayer from the Mother's Almanac that you might want to pray right along with your kids!

Help me to work,
Help me to play,
Help me to learn a bit each day.
Teach me to wash,
Teach me to scrub,
To hang my clothes and clean my tub;
To put my toys upon the shelf,
Help me, dear Lord, to help myself.

(Did I hear an AMEN?!)

A place for everything....

For Christmas I got a CD of a talk by Organized Audrey (yes, my friends know me well...they followed up Queen of the Castle and the Label Maker with a motivational speaker on organization!). Side note: how organized does one have to be to get the professional title of organized before their name? Wow!

The CD has some great tips and one of the easiest to remember and implement is that everything in your home needs a home. That seems so obvious....especially when I think of the old saying "A place for everything and everything in its place!"

The more I thought about it, and observed my home, I realized that many things in my home, don't have a home. I shuffle papers from here to there, I move things from one room to another, one drawer to another... I mean to file them, or store them, or display them, but I'm just not sure where.

Audrey also says that clutter is a result of delayed decisions. Oh my. I delay all the time. And the reason is that I don't know where it should go because it doesn't have a home!

See the cycle? I found this great article online about "A place for everything...." If you don't have time to read it all, scroll down to the 6 points and read through those.

In the process of organizing my home, I bought containers for our bathroom and placed like items in each: sunscreen and lotions, bug spray, nail care, lotions, medicines, first aid items, travel items, restocking items and my toiletries and my husband's toiletries. Every single thing in our bathroom has a place and it seems to be working quite well.

Ahhhh...at least one room is taken care of!

Have any of you tackled a room, or even a drawer, in your home? Lets encourage and motivate one another. I'd love to hear your challenges and successes!

Here's to a happy and someday-everything-in-its-place home!

What Is Your Dream?

You've heard it before, but I must say it again,

a 'goal is a dream with a deadline'!

Stacy is working towards her dream(see posting 1/22/08)...to move into a neighborhood where she will start a 'community to minister to her neighbors.' In order to achieve this dream, she needs to get her home packed up and ready for the sale. Ms FreeSpirit can handle this goal, because her dream pushes her onward. That's how we FreeSpirits operate!

We need a dream in sight to keep us on track.

What is your dream?

Whatever your style of Homemaking may be, remember to write out your goals/dreams to include:

1. A statement of quantity
ie: HOW MUCH you are wanting to accomplish
2. A date for completion
ie: A Deadline to meet

This will allow your dreams to become goals. They will be measureable. They will come to fruition.

That's how dreams do come true...for the SuperCleans and the FreeSpirits alike!

Queen of...chaos?

If your friends joke about your disorganization and messiness does that mean you are automatically labeled as a Free Spirit? Or how about when those same friends give you a book titled Queen of the Castle?

Some people might have been offended by such a gift, but I love the book and it is perfect for me! I am definitely NOT the Queen of Clean. The best part is the subhead: 52 Weeks of Encouragement for the Uninspired, Domestically Challenged or Just Plain Tired Homemaker.

We all need encouragement - particularly those of us who are uninspired. Case in point: currently I am going through my home room by room, closet by closet, drawer by drawer as we get ready to put our house on the market. It is a lot of work and not a process that I am enjoying at all.

But I LOVE the end result. I love the organization. I love the cleanliness. I love having things labeled and in Rubbermaid containers (my friends gave me a Label Maker as well!).

I'm sharing this as a way to encourage all you Free Spirits. As we have said before...the goal is not perfectionism. It's a home that is peaceful, comfortable and relaxing for all who live there.

If you are feeling domestically challenged just take it one drawer at a time. Your family will thank you for it (and if they don't, you'll thank yourself).

January is National Organization Month!

I think there are 2 kinds of Homemakers in this world...one is the Ms SuperClean who has a place for everything and everything in its place; and then there is Ms FreeSpirit. She can't imagine having a 'place for everything' because it would completely destroy her creativity and individuality. Which one are you?
You may find yourself on a continuum somewhere in the middle, but none the less you have a bent towards one end or the other when it comes to keeping your house in order.
I can't bring both 'camps' of Homemakers together in this blog, but I can encourage you to realize what kind of Homemaker you tend to emulate and reach across the aisle to see what you might learn from the Homemaker who does things so different from you.
I have always had to stretch across the aisle to Ms SuperClean to get ideas of how to organize my home. It doesn't come easy for me. I have learned, however, the immense benefit my whole family has received when I made myself improve in this area. I have to also point out that my friends who reached across to get my help in 'living with flexibility', have grown in their ability to smell the roses even if they were strewn all over the patio.
Homemaking is personal. It is individual. It is a constant. But it also is a wonderful forum to discover your strengths and weaknesses and become even more than who you thought you could be.
Make January a 'National Personal Growth Month' and try being the Homemaker you never thought you could be! If you are Ms SuperClean, try relaxing and do what others in your home want you to do today. If you are Ms FreeSpirit, try disciplining yourself to organize your life for the sake of others in your family. It is the wise Homemaker that realizes that building a home is not about having things done 'my way'. It is about serving others joyfully and that might just mean that you may need to build within yourself first.

I can already hear the groans of personal growth beginning!
Happy January

Changed lives?

"The scriptures were given not to increase our knowledge, but to change our lives." - D. L. Moody

This weekend let's meditate on those wise words together. May the scriptures change our attitudes, our words and our actions as we strive to be Homemakers with Hope.

Happy Friday friends!

Study...It's Biblical!

As much as I need to sit and listen to God, I have discovered over the years the importance of being a student of the Word as well. It is in KNOWING the Bible and God's character that I am able to find peace when my days are harried.

2 Timothy 2:15 says to "study to show yourself approved unto God, a workman that doesn't need to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth."

For many years I took this to be the job of a pastor or teacher. But I have found through experience that I need to have the ability to search the scriptures and be able to find answers with confidence as I experience the ups and downs of life.

The Bible also repeats itself in the need to SEEK God.

Here are some verses to check out in your quiet time:

Hebrews 11:66 "And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him."

Acts 17:2727 "God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us."

Lam 3:25 "The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him;"

Deut 4:29 "But if from there you seek the LORD your God, you will find him if you look for him with all your heart and with all your soul."

Jer 29:13 "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart "

What we started in Homemakers with Hope is just a basic binder...meant to be customized to fit each gal's style and journey with God. It will be a nice reference every year, with all of one year's insight in one place. It is not meant to take the place of praying and listening, but should add to those disciplines as God speaks to us and shows us what we need to learn in 2008.

Give it a try and let's journey together.

Being A Student

At Homemakers this week Barb gave us each a 3-ring binder and encouraged us to be students of the Word. Just as we would go to any class with our book and note-taking paper and binder, she encouraged us to go before the Lord each day with our 'study materials.'

I love the idea and am excited about putting my binder to use and filling it with all I am learning this year. She even gave us a 'skeleton' of tabs to fill it up:

Theme and goals (Notes, Scripture, our theme definition and what we are learning about our 2008 theme)

Notes (from Sunday sermons or anything we learn in our time with the Lord)

Verses (Verses we have memorized, want to remember, or want to memorize)

People (Relationships with people in our life, relationships we need to repair)

Books and quotes (Lists of books we want to read, books we did read, quotes that we found this year and want to remember)

We can customize the binder (and so can you) but the idea is not to make a perfect binder, but rather put it to use as we go before the Lord each day and become a student.

I love this idea since knowing God is my theme for 08. As I read through Scripture I am writing down attributes of God's character. As I read through stories I write down things I am learning about God that I want to know and remember. I look forward to seeing my binder filled with life-changing truths that I have learned this year.

Does this idea appeal to you? What study materials do you use in your time with the Lord? Would you consider grabbing a 3-ring binder and becoming a student of the Lord in 08?

Wise Men Do It...So Should Wise Women!

Socrates said a “life unexamined is a life not worth living.”

Thoreau said, “If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.”

Jim Elliot, the missionary who was brutally murdered by the people he was serving, said that journaling "was one discipline that forced himself to articulate on paper and that helped him concentrate and give direction to life".

These wise men wrote down their thoughts and their dreams.

Writing down the moments of life that were meaningful to these men lead them in a direction that made their life memorable and meaningful. As Stacy and I have been talking about finding a 'theme' for your new year, we are really saying to take some time to focus on what it is you want to go after in your walk with God and in your personal life in 2008. By narrowing it down to a theme, you will be more aware of teachable moments in your life that you may have missed in years gone by.
At "Homemakers with Hope" last night, I read the 3 quotes from above and once again encouraged the girls to WRITE out their theme. I challenged them to find the definition of the word and find verses that reinforce the theme.
Writing out what you hope to discover about yourself in choosing that theme may give you clarity and purpose. One year my theme was 'Generosity'. I wanted to reach out to others and give without regret. I wanted to share without holding on to my possessions so tightly. I wanted to give sincere compliments and reach out to help in a generous way. Boy, that was a busy year...of changing my habits, actions, attitudes...my life.

If you decide to take on this challenge of having a theme for 2008, try different 'themes' on for size and choose a theme that will go along with where you are in life right now. If you can't see straight because of all that you have to do, consider the simple theme of 'breathe'. Practicing what it means to inhale God's strength and spirit when you feel like you are burning out. To find God's 'still small voice' as you breathe and escape the hustle and bustle of your frantic schedules. Maybe a theme of 'laughter' would make you mindful to lighten up. What a gift that would be for your family. Or maybe you need to get more serious so a theme of 'discipline' or 'focus' would be more appropriate.

Whatever you choose, WRITE IT DOWN. Don't write it down in hopes that you will go down in history like Socrates or Thoreau, but in hopes that some day your children and husband may rise up and call you 'blessed' because you intentionally sought God's best for your life each year.

Knowing God

A few weeks ago Barb posted about having a theme each year. Barb encourages the Homemakers to do this each January so I have had a few themes over the years. This year my theme is "Knowing God."

In the past I haven't given as much thought to my theme. I chose it, but then I didn't do too much with it. I would think about it from time to time and maybe read a book on that topic or look up some related Scripture.

This year I decided to write out my theme. I chose to write why I picked this theme, found some related scripture and a few quotes that challenged me about my theme. I plan to work on my theme daily. The only way I can know God more is if I read His Word and spend time in His presence.

I thought I would share my theme with you and encourage you to choose a theme as well. If you take the time to do this now, you could see great results in how your attitude changed, what you learned or how you grew from being intentional about this theme.

Please comment if you are choosing a theme. We'd love to know what you've picked!

Knowing God

Why?
I recently heard a quote by Beth Moore that challenged my thinking: "I know my God,” she said. “I don't understand everything about Him. But I know my God is good. I know my God is love. I know my God has my best interest in mind."

Then I read this quote and it spoke right to me: “We only trust people we know,” says Martha Tennison. “If you’re really struggling to trust God, it may be because you don’t really know God.”

Scripture
Psalm 9:10
Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you.

Philippians 3:8
What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ.

Quotes
“Some people pray just to pray and some people pray to know God.” - Andrew Murray

“The more you get to know the Lord, the easier it will be to obey Him. That is what our quiet times should be about…getting to know Him.”

“God wants you to simply know him in the present and trust him with the unspoken ending”. – Ginger Garrett

“Being still before God is the Greatest Privilege that a Christian can have, besides being Born Again. When we are with God, we start to become more and more like him. This is something that most Christians lack - being still before the Throne of God. We dedicate most of our time getting our heads full of knowledge and have no quality time with our Father. An unsaved person can learn doctrine but that doesn't make him a good Christian. The same with us - we can learn doctrine until we are blue in the face and it can actually hinder us from knowing Jesus, like apostle Paul said ‘Knowledge puffs up but Love edifies.’" - Tony Ciaramello

A Misquote!!!

Did you know that "Practice Makes Perfect" is a misquote? I didn't know that! For the longest time, I have been practicing to be perfect!

"Practice Is Everything!" was the original quote said by Periander!

What a relief, actually! I don't need to strive for perfection. I just need to keep practicing!!
As soon as I posted the other day about dealing with interruptions in my well-planned day, I was tested all day long with interruptions of all sorts. I had to 'practice' using creativity to handle my interruptions and more importantly I had to 'practice' keeping my attitude relaxed.

As we move into the New Year, let's remember that 'practice is everything'...it is part of the journey. Let's not get discouraged if we don't 'achieve' all that we hope to do. Let's encourage one another to just keep practicing to work towards the goal that WISE WOMEN MAKE GOOD USE OF THEIR TIME. If practice is everything, we will reach that goal. Maybe not perfect, but certainly wiser as we learn to value our time and make the most of each day of this New Year.

Only Six Things To Do?

I love to-do lists. In fact, I make them all the time. I write them when I am in the car, at church, in my office, or whenever I can grab a post-it note. I have always believed that to-do lists help me use my time wisely and get a lot accomplished.

However, my long to-do lists often overwhelm me and I can easily get side-tracked from my list.

I once heard that to be successful in life you should write down the six most important things you need to do tomorrow in order of importance and do them.

Turns out this bit of advice is worth a lot of money!

The story goes....
Around 100 years ago, Charles Schwab, president of Bethlehem Steel, wanted to increase his own efficiency, and of the management team at the steel company. Ivy Lee, a well-known efficiency expert of the time, approached Mr. Schwab, and made a proposition Charles Schwab could not refuse:

Ivy Lee: "I can increase your people's efficiency – and your sales – if you will allow me to spend fifteen minutes with each of your executives."

Charles Schwab: "How much will it cost me?"

Ivy Lee: "Nothing, unless it works. After three months, you can send me a check for whatever you feel it's worth to you."

Charles Schwab: "It's a deal."

The following day, Ivy Lee met with Charles Schwab's management executives, spending only ten minutes with each in order to tell them:

Ivy Lee: "I want you to promise me that for the next ninety days, before leaving your office at the end of the day, you will make a list of the six most important things you have to do the next day and number them in their order of importance."

Astonished Executives: "That it?"

Ivy Lee: "That's it. Scratch off each item after finishing it, and go on to the next one on your list. If something doesn't get done, put it on the following day's list."

Three months later, Schwab studied the results and was so pleased that he sent Lee a check for $25,000.

This story is referred to as the $25,000 idea. It's so simple! Six things seems a lot more manageable than my usual to-do list. Let's try this together for 7 days and see if it helps us use our time more wisely!

A Quick Question...What About the Interruptions?

Wise Women Make Good Use of Their Time...that is our topic this week. It actually could be our topic for the month as there are so many ways to look at this subject. As I wrestled with learning how to handle my time, a re-occurring question kept coming to my mind. "What do I do with all the interruptions that bombard me every day?" No matter how much I planned, I could never anticipate many things/people that would interrupt my well-designed day.
I read a book years ago that has given me the best answer to my question. The name of the book was Ride the Wild Horses. I don't remember anything about the book except the author gave three ways to handle life's interruptions. The book was probably pretty heavy-duty as far as subject matter, but I took these 3 points and applied it to daily interruptions. It really worked! As I have become aware of these choices, I have become aware of how they transfer over to handling bigger life interruptions. ( a topic for another week!)

Have I teased you enough that you want to know what the three ways of looking at interruptions are?
1. You can handle interruptions with resentment.
2. You can handle interruptions stoically.
3. You can handle interruptions creatively.

It was the 3rd way of handling interruptions that was a light-bulb moment for me. Before considering this option, I would take on an interruption and fume about it and resent that my day was now wrecked. Sometimes I would 'stuff' my emotions and passively deal with the interruption (stoically). Neither of these options would solve my problem of interruptions and neither would allow me to deal with them in a positive way. When I took on interruptions as a challenge to be creative and learn how I could incorporate them into my day...I became successful in managing my time. I was managing my problems...hence I was managing my life.
Hey, be encouraged! You have your whole life ahead to implement new ideas. Be creative this New Year...you've got 357 more days to manage!!

Time wasters

Wow, Barb's words really hit home with me! Now that I work from home a few days each week I have no one here to watch how I use my time. From day one I said I wanted to be a good steward of my time. I said I wanted to be efficient and effective with my time.

Some days I am and some days I am not. And, in the New Year, if I am honest with myself, the days I am not a good steward of my time seem to be more frequent.

Just like Barb mentioned, e-mail and the Internet are two huge time wasters for me! I can hop on for just 10 minutes and an hour later be engrossed in Amazon.com, on someone's blog or researching a topic :)

I also have found that the phone can eat up my time. Why do I always feel the need to answer it? If I am in the middle of work, a project or something else that needs my attention, I know the chances of me returning to that are slim to none when I get done chatting with a friend. Then I don't get my work or home projects completed, and I am out of time!

How does one learn to manage time better? For me, praying through my time and the list of things I have to do is always helpful. I ask others to pray about me being a good steward of my time. And, I have asked for accountability in this area as well.

I wish I was more disciplined than I am. I wish I was so focused that I didn't get distracted by my computer or the ringing of the phone. But recognizing I do is step one. Making some wise choices (and changing some bad habits) is step two...and the harder of the two!

Wise Women Make Good Use of Their Time!

I am not a real dogmatic person. I don't like confrontation and I would prefer to listen to someone else talk rather than control the conversation myself. There are a few topics, however, that I can get very passionate about. Making good use of my time is one of them. I can be passionate about it because I have not always held that conviction. As a young wife, I thought I had all the time in the world. I wasn't even aware that I should be more conscious of how I spent my days. I would love to go back to those days with the awareness I have now about time-management and apply some of those skills to my life. Wow, my life would have been so much easier and enjoyable. I loved being on my own and when I got married, I loved the feeling of being spontaneous and flexible. All of that is fine, but there needs to be some focus and balance. I had a terrible time changing my habits and getting my schedule in order and my time under control, so that is why I would like to shout it from the roof-tops to all aspiring wise women: WISE WOMEN MAKE GOOD USE OF THEIR TIME! This New Year, be honest with yourself as to how good a time manager you are. Ephesians 6:15-16 says we are to "live not as unwise, but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil." That Biblical principle could have saved me YEARS, if I had only intentionally obeyed it. A house doesn't get organized by itself, the meals don't get made, my body doesn't get a work-out, and on the list goes if TIME isn't managed. What might be a time waster for you?
1. E-mail is a newer phenomenon and a potential time waster
2. Surfing the internet without a specific purpose or time limit (set a timer if you are in the habit of doing this!)
3. Running to the grocery story too often because you haven't taken the time to plan a menu and prepare a list
4. Talking on the phone can be a subtle time waster
5. Distractions can pull you off track if you aren't mindful of your time.
6. TV can grab you in a minute and before you know it,an hour has gone by!
7. Disorganization (more about this in the days ahead!)

It's a New Year. It's a New Week! Start today to live in the moment and consider how you are spending your time. I've quoted Ps 90:12 before, "Teach me to number my days aright, that I may gain a heart of wisdom"
Now go and become wise!!

He Makes All Things New

Steven Curtis Chapman has a song titled "All Things New." I love that song... "You redeem and You transform, You renew and You restore. You make all things new." Praise God for those beautiful words.

Revelations 21:5 says, "And he that sat upon the throne said, Behold, I make all things new. And he said unto me, Write: for these words are true and faithful."

So in 2008 I am writing to tell you that God makes all things new because I believe those words are true and that we have a God who is faithful. He promises to make ALL things new.

While it may not be this side of Heaven that we will see things made new, what joy it brings to know that one day God will wipe all our tears away and death, sorrow, crying and pain will be no more.

I feel a sense of peace that my God declared for all people of all time that he is a God who makes all things new.

A dear friend who had a difficult 2007 shared with me a few weeks ago that she woke up to "All Things New" playing on her radio. She is believing and trusting in a God who makes all things new. She is choosing to believe that 2008 is a New Year with new potential, new hopes and new dreams.

I am choosing to believe 2008 will be a year filled with new opportunities, new lessons learned, and new memories.

I pray that the words of Revelation 21 will encourage your heart today as you claim the promise that God makes all things new!

What Does 2008 Hold For You?

Happy New Year...we are into January 2008! A new calendar, everything is fresh and uncluttered. Have you thought about giving a 'theme' to this year? A theme that will encourage you to learn more about you and your walk with God? I have chosen a 'theme' for each year for many years. I did so just to give myself something to learn about over the year. It was not a rigid task or a way to conquer a topic, but simply to make me aware of a new concept or habit. One year, I had 'faith' for my theme. I challenged myself to live by faith, to respond in faith and to read and learn about faith through out that year. I found that small habits began to change as I started 'giving in faith'. That was a challenge for me because I work on commission and I save things up for the future...just in case I might need it. The year I tried to learn more about faith, I gave freely, having faith that God would supply my needs. I remember having to talk myself into parting with things in order to test my faith. The year I was learning about faith just made me aware of how I didn't operate on faith very much. It made me aware that it was a life-long challenge, but at least I was getting a start. That awareness has been with me to this day. One year isn't enough to devote to a topic as big a 'faith', but as least it got me started thinking about having that focus. Other themes I have chosen have been perseverance, prayer, a quiet spirit, listening to God and peace. Choosing a theme is easy, focusing on it and learning about it takes abit more discipline. That's why we have a New Year...to begin again and try to do things in a better way, a way that might make me a better woman, wife, mom, and friend. This year my theme is 'Delight'! Why? Because the Bible says to "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." Often I wonder why I don't get my desires fulfilled. This year I am going to focus on delighting myself in the Lord and see what habits and attitudes I may need to change. 'Delight', according to the dictionary is having "a high degree of pleasure or enjoyment; joy; rapture. Something that gives great pleasure." If I do nothing else than live each day with pleasure,with 'delight in the Lord', 2008 will be a very good year.
So what would be a good theme for 2008 for you? Share with us and we can encourage each other along the way!

Here's to a healthy snack in the new year!

My husband loves to snack! When he gets home from work his eyes start looking for something to munch on. Recently, I have been making this snack for him - it's a much better snacking option than a bag of chips! We really enjoy it and I hope you do too!

Gobble Up Granola Snack

INGREDIENTS
2 1/2 cups crispy rice cereal

2 cups quick-cooking oats

1/2 cup raisins

1/2 cup packed brown sugar

1/2 cup light corn syrup or honey

1/2 cup crunchy peanut butter

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

DIRECTIONS
1. In a large bowl, stir together the rice cereal and oats. Set aside. Grease a 9x13 inch baking dish with cooking spray.
2. Combine the brown sugar and corn syrup in a small saucepan over medium heat. Heat just until boiling, then remove from heat and stir in peanut butter and vanilla until smooth. Pour over the cereal and oat mixture, and mix well.
3. Press into the prepared pan using the back of a large spoon. Allow to cool, then cut into squares.

Saturated Fat

Happy New Year!

How is 'Saturated Fat' for a title to my posting?! This time of year we are all thinking, talking and planning our New Year's Resolutions. What are you resolving this year?

I challenge and encourage you to choose a resolution that is specific and measurable. Eat healthy or exercise more is not measurable or specific. What choices will you make to eat healthy? How many days/minutes will you exercise? Maybe your resolution is to spend more time with your husband or kids at home. Maybe it is to watch less tv. What does that look like and how will you measure it to determine if you are doing it successfully?

Shortly after Thanksgiving we discovered that my husband has high cholesterol. Our goal is to lower his cholesterol through his diet and exercise. Through research and discussions with others, we have learned that we do not need to limit all fats from his diet, but specifically saturated fats.

So I am resolving to pay very close attention to saturated fats this year. This means that I am busy reading labels on everything I buy. I am learning a lot and trying not to purchase foods that have more than 1 g or 1.5 grams of saturated fat per serving.

It is hard but my husband's health inspires me! When we go out to eat it is harder to make wise food choices so we are resolving to be wise with what we eat at home....and for us that means less saturated fat. That said, I did make cookies tonight :) But we ate in moderation....!

Do you read labels? That is a great way to be aware of what you are eating and what you are preparing for your family to eat. Barb told us in one of our first years of Homemakers that much of what our husband eats is due to what WE place in front of them. That includes breakfast, dinner and often times left overs for lunch.

That seems like a lot of responsibility and it is. At times I am overwhelmed...how do I cook healthy meals that don't take hours to prepare while being conscious of the food budget? One day at a time :)

Please comment and let us know what your New Year's Resolutions are. We'll try to tackle some of those topics in the coming days and weeks!

Keep it Simple...

Happy New Year!!!

Having company for New Year's Eve? Make your table look special, without alot of fuss. I started this tradition with my family when the kids were really young, so if you just have your family sitting down for the festivities, add a little intrique by including the following:

CANDY... for sweet adventures in the New Year!

AN APPLE... for a New Year of smiles!

COAL... for love and warmth throughout the New Year!

PEANUTS (in the shell!)...a New Year of surprises!

Scatter some of the items around the table, putting an apple on each plate. A quick note written on the computer could sit beside each place-setting to explain your wishes for each of your loved ones.
Simple, but it works to stimulate a discussion for everyone's dreams for the New Year!

Have a Happy New Year's Eve!!

Be the Life of the Party Tonight!

Impress your friends with trivia tonight about New Year's! Go to www.holidayquiz.com. for the answers!

Happy New Year, Everybody!!

1. The Scottish tune Auld Lang Syne is a common song sang right after the stroke of midnight. What is the literal translation of the song's title: Auld Lang Syne?

a.Old Long Ago


b.Always Remembering You


c.Another Year Passes


d.Here We Go Again

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2. What is oldest known holiday celebrated by mankind?


a.Samhain


b.New Year's Day


c.Christmas


d.The day is not really known for sure

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3. What is the most common New Year's resolutions made by Americans?


a.Resolve to Find a Better Job


b.Resolve to Stop Smoking


c.Resolve to Save More Money


d.Resolve to Lose Weight

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4. Who is mainly responsible for us celebrating New Year's day on January 1st?


a.Pope Gregory


b.Pope Benedict


c.Julius Caesar


d.Alexander the Great
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5. Western society's official calendar was generated from?


a.The Julian Calendar


b.The Gregorian Calendar


c.The Chinese Calendar


d.The Solar Calendar

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6.Regardless of when a society celebrates New Year's Day, what is one common thread between the all?

a. Good Luck Rituals


b.Everyone Eats a Hearty Meal


c.Outrageous Parties


d.Everyone Attends a Spiritual Function

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7. The month January was named after?


a.A Hindu Princess


b.The Roman god Janus


c.The Greek god Januarius


d.A former Roman goddess

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8. Which society calendar uses animals to mark years?


a.The Jewish Calendar


b.The Chinese Calendar


c.The Gregorian Calendar


d.The Hindu Calendar

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9. What is the most watched parade on New Year's Day?


a.Hollywood Christmas Parade


b.Macy's Holiday Parade


c.Walt Disney World's New Year's Parade


d.The Tournament of Roses Parade
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10. Speaking of the Tournament of Roses Parade, during between 1903 to 1915 what was the main event at the Rose Bowl Stadium?


a.Football


b.Soccer


c.Chariot Races


d.Sprint Running

Christmas Shopping Continues...

I trust you all had a wonderful Christmas, full of wonderful memories and good times.
Are you wrestling with other shoppers during the after Chrismas sales now? I just wanted to give you a hint if you are ready to do more shopping. After Christmas is a fabulous time to find good deals on nativity scenes. There are so many to choose from and I don't think you can ever have too many of those to put around your home. Since there are so many colors and styles to choose from, think about buying one a year and see if you can decorate each room in your home with a nativity scene. Write the dates on them as you collect them and it will be a fun decoration to take out each year and review the memories that go along with it. If they are too price-prohibitive, buy a few pieces and add to one scene over the years.
It will be a great way to end this Christmas season and will be a fun way to start next year's celebration!

Enjoy!

What Do You Treasure?

In an earlier posting, I described having a "Mary's Christmas" this year. A year in which you would 'treasure up all these things and ponder them in your heart', like Mary did in Luke 2:19. I focused on the word 'ponder' in that posting. Today, to begin this Christmas weekend, I think it may be helpful to ponder the word 'treasure'! Treasure means to 'cherish or prize'. Mary treasured all the happenings of the first Christmas. May I suggest a way that I prepare my heart to cherish Christmas? I once again need to be intentional in my thoughts and then I find my actions will usually follow. I have made it a practice to list what I am going to give my friends and family early in the Christmas season. The list keeps changing and eventually I firm it up and get the shopping done. Often I am unsure who to give small gifts to...is it an obligation or a true act of love and kindness? This brings me back to the word 'cherish'. I write out beside each name what I cherish about each person I plan on giving a gift to. It sounds rather idealistic to put this in a posting, but it has helped me give with a heart of love rather than of obligation. It is only a short sentence that I write out but it is there to see as I review my list. Each time I refer to my list, I see the character quality or attitude or impact that person has had on my life and I treasure the opportunity to give back. Maybe this comes natural for you. If so, groom that ability. If you find yourself begrudging the money you are spending, the time it takes to shop or the things you would rather buy for yourself, try this habit of mine. I wonder if Mary was chosen by God partly because she could treasure and ponder without practice. For me, this has been a lifetime pursuit.
Once again, have a Mary's Christmas this year. A time to ponder and treasure all that God has blessed you with...beginning with the birth of His son to be our Savior.